I saw it last night and was not amused at all.. Matt damon's character isn't anything like the previews made you expect. In fact all the funny parts of the movie were already shown in the previews.. Probably because the rest of the movie S U C K E D

I paid $9.75 for a ticket, another $10 for popcorn and candy and didn't even have enough for a drink.

DONT SEE THE INFORMANT

If i had an extra pair of nuts, i'd give you them

At 8/17/09 07:51 PM, Orange-Jews wrote: I'm am sick and tired of these spam threads.

That's newgrounds.

At 8/17/09 08:16 PM, Lunaful wrote: About as much of a genius as Lindsay Lohan will find the cure for cancer.

That was quite an intelligent statement.

Ok this person described it really well.

"Like the penis, the vagina must be handled gently until she is very aroused. When you first start going down on a woman, don't just dive in. Tease her-breathe warmly on her pussy, and run your tongue over it lightly. Pretend that you're going to put your entire mouth on it - then move away from her pussy altogether, and move to some other part of her body. Wait until she is aching to be eaten out before you gratify her.

When she's ready, make the gratification sudden and intense. Penetrate her pussy with your tongue as deeply as it will go, and massage her from the inside. This will make her gasp with pleasure.

Now, this is the type of thing that feels good for a moment, but will not make her orgasm. After you've penetrated her with your tongue, move on to her clitoris. Periodically you can go back to penetrating her with your tongue, but as she gets closer and closer to orgasm you want to concentrate more and more on her clitoris.

USE PLENTY OF SALIVA. I can't emphasize this enough. A dry tongue rasps, but a wet, well-lubricated tongue feels infinitely better. You also want to do this for psychological reason - lots of saliva gives her the sensation of being very wet, which she associates
with being very aroused. If you're eating her out right, much of your face should be covered in various fluids when you're done.

As she begins to get more and more aroused, you can begin to use more and more pressure with your tongue. She will begin moaning and bucking her hips in your face - lock your hands together on her stomach to hold her down, and continue to bring her towards orgasm. This is not the time to tease! Take her clit into your mouth and suck on it, or rub it vigorously with your tongue. Don't stop until she orgasms - that means even if your mouth is tired, you pansy. Generally it will be very clear when she's came. If you're asking yourself "Did she cum?" then chances are she didn't.

When she has come, don't stop giving her oral right away. Keep your mouth on her pussy for a minute or so to allow her to come down. Remember, girls need much longer to come down than men, so allow her to enjoy all those pleasant after-sensations.

When she has come down, here's something to try: when your face is still dripping from her orgasm, give her a deep French kiss. You'd be surprised - nearly all women love the taste of their own pussies. This is also a great time to begin intercourse - with her first orgasm, she'll be primed for it and ready for more powerful vaginal orgasms."

Try reading this

http://www.all-guitar-chords.com/

they've got scales. all of the ones you will need.

use youtube and tablature to learn songs. but practice scales and using them to improvise.

also make sure you're fingers are in the correct position.

Yeah man cut some yards it's easy money. Make a few hundred bucks in a couple of weeks then start selling drugs. There's alot of money in selling drugs my friend.

At 7/5/09 10:27 PM, SorgensKammer wrote: Communism is actually a good government system if it is executed correctly. Stalin was just a corrupt peice of shit. Trotsky should have been in control of communist russia

Karl marx's idea of communism has no government. I'm a strong advocate of socialism, but neither socialism or communism are comparable to fascism. Trotsky wouldn't have done been able to do much better than stalin or any better than lenin. Russia's problem was misinterpreting what marx's plan for capitalism was.

I hate getting gum on my shoe. It's the worst.

At 7/5/09 01:38 AM, Gagsy wrote: And if someone wants to try mugging me, they can try but I won't give in. They'd have to kill me to take my stuff, and then the police would be looking for a murderer not just another robber they won't care to catch really.

So I've no worry about the night.

Hell yeah man i like your style i've defended myself in a few robberies and it's always worked out for the better

I haven't ran more than a mile at a time in like a year. I always prefer to ride my bike for long distances i don't really enjoy running.

Sometimes i get a little nervous after watching a scary movie. Shit i've heard noises in the kitchen in the dark and have gotten scared. I really shouldn't be though because I am always strapped with a single shotgun and four to seventeen AK-47's. I am also a compulsive liar

At 7/5/09 01:15 AM, MrCrawford wrote: B.C. Bud is where its at.

ahaha i'm so sorry. you can come on over i'll toss you a free gram

At 7/5/09 01:14 AM, GiantDouche wrote: Marijuana can exacerbate depression.

it can if it's used in a bad way. (i.e. you're spending all your money/time on it) but the chemical itself THC actually has a positive effect

At 7/5/09 01:12 AM, EpicFail wrote: Oh well, even if it were really yours, marijuana is a depressant.

depression is entirely psychological though. and marijuana releaves it, the fact that it's a depressant has nothing to do with clinical or even manic depression. so you're wrong ha

and Hello heaven!

Happy 4th everyone!

Short skirt long jacket by CAKE
or birds of a feather by phish

At 7/3/09 12:15 PM, DaWgSOLja729 wrote: That's why you shouldn't carry 1300 dollars around with you

The reason i have that money is because of my habit of carrying around large amounts of cash. I get first dibs in most situations because i'm always prepared to buy right there and then. Also, 1300 dollars seems like alot less money once you have bills to pay

At 7/3/09 12:13 PM, ChocEliteBar wrote: Pic of the airsoft gun. Nao.

hahaha yeah ok i'll take a picture of my airsoft gun just to be ironic.

At 7/3/09 03:26 AM, Phobotech wrote: I also agree with this; why the hell would you have that much money on you at one time? At least distribute it out, like, put a Hundred dollar bill in your sock in case your whole wallet gets jacked so you aint broke...have backups, man.

i'm constantly buying and selling various things, gotta keep cash on me it's how i make money and pay rent. also, you should know that the 1300 i had is a distributed portion..

At 7/2/09 10:44 PM, DarkSoldier wrote:

At 7/2/09 09:30 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Did you also get the weed he was trying to sell you?

He probably didn't as he was having to much fun shooting at the guy.

Yeah i never got the weed didn't even get to smell it!

At 7/2/09 01:45 PM, scetch00 wrote: Pothead with over a grand in his wallet? Stupid move.

I will with; Criminals, cold blooded murderers
Drug hustlaz, suburban areas I know you've heard of us.

At 7/2/09 01:49 PM, EKublai wrote: My classmate has gotten mugged 4 times over the past year cause he buys in bulk and then sells in parts. Now that's a dumbass.

That's where the money is at though brah

and the kid was definitely 6'8" i remember him talking about it

Me and two friends are smoking a joint on a backporch. One of them recieved a phone call and told the person on the other end to 'walk around back'. I see a tall ass kid wearing a black hoodie (summertime?) hop over the fence, heading towards the porch. This kid was tall as fuck at least 6'8"..

I nervously looked my friend, the one who had answered the phone. He was the middle man and my assurance level had just been halved by the 'black hoodie wearing even though it's summertime kid'.

Nevertheless the tall guy came up the steps and introduced himself, exchanging handshakes (or 'dap' as suburban white kids have come to call it) and said "It's really chroinc." He was talking about the product. Then, out of his hoodie came two very large ziplocs of some very good headies (high price/quality marijuana).

A great sigh of relief came over upon seeing him take the bags out of his hoodie pocket. He asked who was buying it and my voice cracked in a really gay way when i said it was I who was buying the weed.. He smiled a bit then named the price

400 bucks for two ounces, the price wasn't horrible but not great. I pulled out my wallet which had about 1300 dollars cash in it and got out two one hundred dollar bills.

Then I heard my friend say "Woah!"

Fucking tall ass faggot kid was holding a gun. It was all black and the barrel was just barely peeking out of his hoodie's sleeve. He told me to hand him all the money but I refused. Instantly one of my friends (the middle man) started freaking out at me, telling me to hand him the money.

Then the tall kid poked my stomach with the gun. It was fucking plastic, i could tell by the way it felt even through the shirt.

So I did what any of you would have done it. I distracted him by throwing the joint i was smoking straight up into the air. As he was looking up, I socked him in the face as hard as I could then kicked him backwards, into the railing. His nose flowed red instantly. Cool.

Anyways, we grabbed the gun and saw that it was just an airsoft gun. We took turns shooting at him with it as he ran away.

I've been thinking lately that the middle man was in on it. Who the fuck would try and rob someone just for $200? The kid i was smoking the joint with knows i usually have alot of cash on me and surely could've tipped off the tall kid. I also find it strange that he would think he could take on all three of us when he clearly couldn't handle me alone..

anyways moral of the story is that I kick ass

Nice. You should start a candle business.

Has anyone tried the pepsi or mountaindew throwbacks? They're made with real cane sugar (deeeeliiiissshhh) instead of high fructose corn syrup

Thanks alot guys this really is helping me finish my assignment. I also find it remotely amusing.

Extra thanks to the first person who replied.

Hello Newgrounds.

Recently I was given an assignment for my psychology class that calls for a culminating essay based on data I've gathered from people of my age who believe they've had "Life Changing Experiences". I have decided to come to you guys for help because i need to survey people to get an idea of their personality, then ask them to describe at least one life chaning experience they have had.

Summer classes suckk

Now all I ask is that you fill out this survey then do your best to describe your life changing experiences (if you have ever had any). My goal is to have at least ten people but the catch is that all ten people surveyed need to be at least 18 years old

So if you aren't 18 or at least very close to it (i don't care if you're younger if you act mature) then don't bother filling out the questions. If you are of age, but have not gone through a life changing experience then please just answer the questions and at the end state that you have not experienced one.

How old are you?
Are you male or female?
Are your parents divorced? If so, how old were you when they split?
Do you have a good relationship with your stepmother/father? (If you have one)

How much of your free time is spent doing what? (i.e. most of my free time is spent smoking pot)
How often do you see/hang out with your friends?

Have you ever felt deppressed for multiple days at a time?
Are you clinically deppressed? Are you medicated? (If so, do you by chance take Zoloft?)
Do you still to this day regret things that you have done in the past? If so, explain.
Do you suffer from panic disorder/anxiety? If so, are you medicated?
Have you ever had sleeping problems? If so, are you medicated?

Do you have college aspirations? Career goals? List any type of long term goal you have in mind.
Are you employed? What is your line of work?
How often do you spend money?
Do you find yourself living paycheck to paycheck?

Picture your first funeral (attended, obviously)
Did you cry?
Did you know the person?
Were you related to him/her?

Have you ever lost a loved one or close friend?
How long ago? Do you miss them?

Picture your first kiss
Was it heavily anticipated?
Was it from the opposite sex?
Do you still know the person?
Was it their first kiss as well?

Are you religious?
If so, is it an organized religion?
If so, which one?
If not, best describe your beliefs.

Have you ever had a near death experience? If so, then explain and say wether or not you considered it life changing.

Have you ever had a life changing experience? If so, explain with as much detail as you can. Then tell me wether you considered the change to be a positive or negative one.

I used to be the same way.

take my advice; start selling drugs as soon as possible to your friends.

I still have all of mine as well.. i never even opened the boxes.. me and you share the same dream

eBay has them in mint condition for cheap though...

At 6/17/09 01:05 AM, Andy-Parker wrote: what kinda idiot resists arrest. 9 times out of 10 if you comply they just wont bother with you and theyll let you go. unless ur doing something seriously wrong.

I resisted arrest becuase i knew i would get away, which i did.

The real problem is that some douche bag ratted me out.

At 6/16/09 11:31 PM, ToastedCupcake wrote:

At 6/16/09 11:22 PM, Seasons wrote: an eighth of ganja (a gram)

An eighth is 3 grams, dumbass.

I've dealt with more weight than you'll ever deal with i know my conversions kid.

It was a typo. After that i said i also had a drug i wasnt going to name, but when i first typed it i did and THAT is what i had a gram of. i just fucked up.