At 6/14/09 05:26 AM, Yamor wrote: Why don't we reveal it to the people? Well, the government won't let it happen. When Polio was cured to many people researching it lost their jobs. Also, think of all the companies and charities investing massive loads of cash going into it and they all pay taxes.

You already posted that crap theory in another thread.

I could pick apart everything you've written here, and give you a bunch of links to US senators that have had cancer, but I'm tired and depressed. Just pretend that I did.

Most of the bottom submissions are comprised of the weekly winners being pushed off the Top 50 list.

At 6/14/09 04:28 AM, SpiffyMasta wrote: That is an epic certificate. Looks better than a University Diploma.

That's actually kinda funny, because the first one I got a few years back looked like a high school diploma.

Here's a crappy, heavily photoshopped camera-phone picture:

By the way, when I went to mount (tape) my award to my wall, another award fell out of my award! So I apparently had two awards. I did this face: :D So I don't have to show another picture, this is the earlier one, which I assume was for How I Buy Petrol?.

For having a 15 int/wis, you're pretty fucking stupid sometimes.

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At 6/13/09 11:18 PM, scottmale24 wrote:

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*cough*

Unfortunately, being drunk, in a dark room, and recently having had surgery, the blast from your WAND scared the crap out of you, and you tripped backwards on your own BLOOD.

At 6/10/09 04:10 PM, KoLdBLooD wrote: Cast "FOCUS" on yourself and try to remember what happened. You may have seriously hurt someone.

You spend three charges from your Mana Pool to cast GRISSOM VISION. A quick glance around THE SCENE OF THE CRIME, and all the FORENSIC EVIDENCE comes together to play out before you, in a desaturated, off-hue flashback.

Apparently, last night you came in out of the rain, KIDNEY already missing. Cold, wet, and HIT POINTS slowly draining, you planned on burning your backpack for warmth.

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At 6/10/09 04:08 PM, Lagamuffin wrote: Jackson, pick up backpack from fireplace!

You pick up your backpack and check your inventory. You're not sure what happened to your rope or bottle, but you appear to have some gained some gold somehow! Also, your charred hobo skull has some friends!

It... it's probably best not to ask.

I just got a giant package in the mail today. Apparently, winning a monthly award now comes with A CERTIFICATE OF AWESOME. Which is a lot more awesome than the previous certificate I won, something like four years ago.

I'll put up pics later, if you guys want. But seriously, awesome stuff.

SHIT GUYS

Work's been kicking my ass, so I'm gonna have to get to all these later today cause I GOT THE DAY OFF. I've already got the next few planned out, so no need for more replies. Thanks for waiting!

At 6/10/09 03:17 PM, Baleout wrote: >Check health and magic bars.

Huh. You seem to have three other bars that you've never noticed before. There's apparently more to this "adventuring" stuff than simply getting drunk and waking up in strange places. You make a mental note to keep track of these things from now on.

This all seems very... familiar.

2 of 2. This may or may not be headed somewhere.
Also there are some earlier requests I might do in a minute.

At 6/10/09 10:14 AM, LegolaSS wrote: Jackson: Go to abandoned jug house
Jackson: mage bolt the wooden planks
Jackson: search inside abandoned jug house

You decide to check out the abandoned decanter house for clues. You get ready to magic some planks apart, when you see a broken window you could probably squeeze through.

Not wanting to waste your precious mana pool, you decide it best to climb through the window. Isn't breaking and entering awesome?

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At 6/10/09 04:31 AM, idiot-monarch wrote: Pour the contents of the small jug on your wound.

You pour the contents of the small jug on your wound. The nanojugs quickly stitch up your wound, good as new.

This is pretty ridiculous.

Inside the big clay jug, you find a smaller, glass jug. You are starting to wonder what kind of person runs this goddamn town.

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At 6/10/09 03:55 AM, idiot-monarch wrote: Examine the jugs outside of the houses.

Doing so without alerting the occupants of the jughouse will require a lot of cunning, finesse, tactics, and subterfuge. Perhaps all that a mage of such fine caliber like yourself can muster.

Unfortunately, you botch your MOVE SILENTLY check, and take a lesson from the pages of Zelda.

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Not wanting to bleed to death in a dark room, you hurry outside.

You're not exactly sure where you are.

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At 6/10/09 01:59 AM, Falconpunchr wrote: look in the hole in the alcove

You look in the alcove. Above you, you can see light pouring through a crack. It probably leads outside.

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At 6/10/09 01:13 AM, InternetAddict wrote: Look out the window to see if the person who did this to you is anywhere nearby.

Standing up, you don't see any windows. You do see a small alcove with a light coming from above it, and a hole in the ceiling.

At 6/10/09 12:34 AM, xports wrote: Scratch that. Check to see if you still have any items on you whatsoever.

You don't have your pack!

At 6/10/09 12:15 AM, Mexifry wrote: check for a possible wound

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

You wake up somewhere, in what could possibly be a puddle of your own blood.

At 6/9/09 11:08 PM, Grammer wrote: Its A Nice Day was good, but was it really worthy of monthly 3rd? I doubt it.

Tell that to How I Buy Petrol?

You black out.

At 6/9/09 05:05 PM, KoLdBLooD wrote: Drink it.

But use your skull mug. Your a mage... A sophistocated mage!

Ah, nothing like a mug of strong, high quality whiskey!
Your Alc-O-Meter flips shit

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So, do we get like, store credit? I could use another NG T-shirt.

You pop off the lid of the rightmost barrel. By the the mighty Forges of Moradin! DORFISH WHISKEY! You can feel your Alc-O-Meter tingling at the very sight of the amber liquor.

At 6/5/09 07:48 PM, Baleout wrote:

At 6/5/09 06:19 PM, scottmale24 wrote: Nothing very exciting... or is there?

No.

Open the rightmost barrel petulantly, yet vivaciously.

Realizing that anything in that box would be a waste of time, you decide to move on to bigger, rounder containers.

Oh man, how I love the city. I had such an amazing time, and I'm sad to be home.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled program!

At 6/5/09 05:57 PM, Lundsfryd wrote: Jackson: stop to wonder why your tiny feet don't fall right thru the cargo-net.

Much like a spider, you carefully plan each step to land on an intersection of ropes, thus ensuring your stability on an around the net and net-areas.

Alternatively; magic.

At 6/9/09 03:56 PM, thelittleemo wrote:

At 6/9/09 03:55 PM, RiotFlash wrote: holy shit, newgrounds is full of gay oily men.

i should have known

Yeah, wanna join in the fun. I have an extra bottle of oil :/

And I have a few extra crates of gay.

At 6/9/09 02:42 PM, Toonmore wrote:

At 6/9/09 12:48 PM, TomFulp wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/49 6147

what a load of shit

Maybe I should just stop winning awards.

No... no I think I am going to keep it up.