Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Oh, yeah. I know that guy well, he hangs out on a site I go to usually.

At 6/29/08 04:28 AM, Twistedsanta wrote: ah what the hell I got nothing better to do!

Hope to see you on.

AND I DO HOPE.

PalTalk is teh ghey, here is ur recording, Ryan...

Currently 10th.

No, wait, 8th now. 8.8, that's enough to get me laid, especially considering that's a REAL picture of me.

This has inspired me to attempt untoonifying salad fingers.

Which will be hard... >:(

The only way to lose weight is to EAT LESS AND EXCERCISE.

Holy shit. I know, it's revolutionary, but eating the same amount and doing nothing will NOT help you lose wait. It's the new fad diet, I swear.

At 6/28/08 11:05 AM, AnalPenguinFarming wrote: This is something you all need to join in on.

To be fair, I was showing him where to put his new belly-button I gave him.

I keep getting this chick who's telling me "This content is currently unavailable."

Based on what you say, though, sounds like another U.S. showy off thing. Planes don't win wars, they can't hold/defend ground. They're pests in a battle, and make only a minor difference to the final outcome.

You know that 'New Users: Read before posting' sign?

It's not there for decoration.

Congratulations! You're one year closer to dying so you don't post topics like this.

At 6/28/08 08:10 AM, Tykwa wrote: Bob wakes up, brain throbbing and body pounding from the low atmospheric pressure, and then big ass monsters come out of nowhere and start fliging poo!

(Wow, I am so totally doing this wrong aren't I?)

>> CONFUSED.
>> HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE ON FIRE.

At 6/28/08 08:03 AM, SCUD14 wrote: Ok, slope coming up... Brace for impact!

>> CONFIRMED.
>> ROLLING AGAINST FORTITUDE: 12
>> 1d20... 17
>> FAILURE!

Mission Control: Bob! Bob! LOOK OUT FOR THE GROUND!

Eh... I'll give this one more shot. See if someone will find it at this time.

Mission Control: Okay, Bob, all things going well, you should land on that slope and smoothly slide down it, halting your descent.
Mission Control: Or, you know. Not.

Okay. This is a very, very, very long story. But essentially? I was charged and almost send to prison for being a pedophile. All because of one whiny little brat. It was less than a year ago, and FUCK, am I lucky.

Okay. We have to start a month before the majority of events, because it basically is why I got convicted (at 16!) - and easily overturned on appeal. Essentially, this story starts out like any real story. I'm at the park (with a girl, doing what young horny teenagers do in parks - not that, but close to it.) Now, some girl who happens to catch my bus happens to see me (I didn't see her), but she says nothing at the time. Cliche, right? Nothing much can come of this, can it? Unfortunately, this one incident nearly ruined my life. I'll get to it shortly.

Now, a week later, I happen to be catching a bus. Now, I'm fairly happy where I am with my life at this precise moment. I have just been signed up for an apprenticeship at a commercial radio station - I haven't started yet - and my foray into a career of radio is pretty much assured. (Once you get a job, you're pretty much employed for life.) I've got a great girlfriend, just getting started, she's hot - and I'm not really - and school for the year is almost done. As you can see - life for me is pretty good. Now, this girl gets on a fair bit after me, and sits down at a seat down the front of the aisle (we never got on. Even less so now.) Now, after a bit longer, a great deal of my friends are sitting around our section of the bus. At this point, she walks up the aisle and sits down behind me, and asks, randomly, "So. Who was that girl you were screwing in the park last week?"

If you knew how much we don't get on, you'd understand that it wasn't really conversation, it was a way of starting an argument. Fuck knows why she wanted to start one. Since I'm a very, very, very private person, I reply to her, "It's none of your business. I don't ask you who boyfriend #248 was." I was under pressure, PROBABLY wasn't the best insult. Anyway, she comes out with something out of left field - "She was young. How old was she? She looked like your sister."

Now, you have to realize something here. I NEVER STUTTER. EVER. I want to be a host, so I can't afford to even trip over my words. I have to work a bit harder to master that, but still, it's rare. I reply, "Fif- sorry, sixteen." (I live in QLD, legal age is 16. Suck on that, Alabama.) I can't remember much after this - my memory was never good. But, essentially, she started accusing me of being a pedo and a rapist, because I slept with a girl who was 15. Big deal, she lost hers when she was 14, if the stories I hear a true. Bitch.

Anyway, within ten seconds, the entire banana bus has heard the story (YAY! HIGH SCHOOL RUMOR SPREAD GO!) and it's gone from me stuttering over the age of a girl to me regularly sleeping with an underage girl. I'm mortified, but this being high school, it'll be gone in a while once the principal comes out as a lesbian, and I'll be able to explain what really happened. After a month, it's out of the minds of everyone except the girl who started it, who keeps ending every sentence involving me with "PedoRapist". I can deal with that.

=== TWO MONTHS LATER ===

Oh, dear god, I hate this part to hell, I really do. And this is where the "I hate little kids" part comes into play. I'm going to write this section up later, after I fap. For a completely unrelated reason. :D

You should an hero. You should an hero. You should an hero.

Nobody's that gullible... god, this had better be a troll. People do not take personal responsibility for their actions - Par Kore-ers (is that right?) suing the owners of the buildings they jump off, druggies suing their dealers (literally, though I can't find the link) and smokers suing the cigarette companies. The last one might be valid, I haven't decided. However, what is true is that America is a country where people do not take responsibility for their actions - or, at least, that's the message I get.

OH, GODDAMIT, I'M LATE FOR THE RAID

At 6/27/08 11:05 PM, SevenSeize wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/search/
title/bambi

Except you spelt it wrong.

Here.

It begged to be done...

Hopefully I got that right, I don't play Portal...

Eh...

You've got the top 3 most recognisable video game characters up there. #4 is MC, and there are sprites of him you can use.

Go with halo, eh's a pretty cool guy, eh kills kovenants and isn't afraid on anythin.

Dude, you're so hardcore. I want to be just like you.

Christianity can be carried out way to far.

Speaking of aunts, my ultra-christian one once kidnapped me from my mother, because I had been 'born out of wedlock', and otherwise I would go to hell. She wasn't sent to jail, but... yeah.

Fanatics like this are what drive me away from religious groups. Generally, they take it too fanatically. Except Buddhists. They're awesome, and they're really cool to talk to. If you get the chance, go to one of their temples (which are always awesome) and go to their classes, and listen to them talk.

Back on the post, yeah, just ignore your aunt. She'll figure out something. Or, even better, keep trolling her. Wait outside her house, watch as she calls the cops, and then laugh.

Also, lol, yr sister's a lezbo.

At 6/27/08 12:31 AM, ShitOnAStick wrote: It's the girls fault. it was more random and funny when the girlfriend wasn't introduced. after her, lots of it got too plot oriented and most of the comics became fillers to a final joke or story.
it got boring :(
and i was a huge fan, but i lost interest

Yeah, I don't like a lot of the more relationship-styled comics. Apart from the proposal one.

I swear, if I ever even possibly get in a relationship, I'll propose that way. That was awesome.

Okay, it's not so relevant now, but for a while there, I wasn't sure if I liked where the webcomic was going.

I mean, a week without any real humor kind of got me concerned. He jumped back to one-shots for a while, but then, straight back to relationship crap. One-shots currently - but I think that it's going to go back, again, to that soppy stuff.

I don't mind it in small doses, you know, but it just seemed to be getting slightly too much. I know I can stop reading it, but I've always enjoyed it, so I'll wait to see how it goes.

But I'm just curious - if there's any CAD readers out there, what did you think of this plot going on?

C&H summarises my thoughts easily. Very nice reference, too.

Presumably you.

RESUME GAME.

At 6/26/08 12:55 PM, Objection wrote: It's a good thing I'm a good space swimmer. *swims to nearest asteriod*

>> CONFIRMED.
>> ROLLING AGAINST AGILITY SKILL: 8
>> 1d20... 5
>> SUCCESS!

Mission Control: Bob, Bob, can you hear me? The asteroid's gravity isn't that strong. You might feel a slight burn from the atmosphere around you when you start to descend towards it...

Notes:
- Guys, I like to choose posts that tend to move on with the story. Unless I feel like it, you posting 'do a barrel roll' will be ignored.
- Also, because I can only post 4 times in 30 minutes, I'm going to spend longer on the art. Don't be surprised if I drop out for a while to work on an image.

Mission Control: Hang on, I'm off to get coffee. Don't go anywhere, alright?

GAME PAUSED

I need to get some sleep, NG. Will continue tomorrow.

At 6/25/08 07:05 PM, Madferit wrote: Wait until tomorrow, she'll probably be off her period.

Actually, he's right.

Dude, I keep a record of my mother's cycle on my phone. Best fucking decision I ever made. I never get yelled at now. Never.

At 6/26/08 10:10 AM, ThoseSneakyFrench wrote: Quick, use the bedncannon!

>> ITEM NOT FOUND.
Mission Control: Bob! Bob! Can you hear me? Look, those asteroids have a minor atmosphere! If you can get in one, your head may not liquify in the lack of pressure, making your brain even more damaged!

At 6/26/08 09:55 AM, SuperFlonic wrote: Oh wow, cocktease much?

I am ashamed I find that to be a compliment.

At 6/26/08 09:51 AM, Scalene wrote: I entered.

Oh, wait. HERE WE GO.