Failed Empire? I think you mean "The largest empire the world has ever seen" who ever heard of a american empire? :P
Seriously though, try and get down to a Premier League football (soccer) game. Preferably one of the London clubs. And check out our night clubs and rubbish cinema's. Don't bother with the whole Buckingham Palace visits it's rubbish.
Please remain on our side of the road, speak the queens english and enjoy the recession!