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Response to: Friction Starter Posted December 5th, 2011 in Writing

although i created this thread, its not really my place to write for any of you surrounding areas, but i sort of picture four corners as a utopia, sheltered from the rest of the world, maybe they have some sort of shield barrier around the city that doesn't allow exit or entrance. i don't know, don't worry about border complications, first off, i am going to decrease the size of four corners, which should keep them away from you, they don't want anything to do with the out side world, although later that might be there choice if you feel to go in that direction.
by the way, although i had hoped for a higher writer count, i am setting the base line at five, you are number four shivers , so i'm looking for atleast one more wirtter before beginning. i'm hoping that five writers will be enough to cover all parts of the country while leaving characters close enough to eventually bump into one another. now, real quick, i just want to remind everyone, this thread will stay open as a sort of private forum for the story as well as a place to accept new applicants.
so if you want to pass a plot point for judgment that may affect other writters, put it on this thread, or if you want to dive into your character and really dont want anyone to bother your character right now, put it up on this thread, although i don't expect as much activity on this thread once the main one goes up, it is still a good idea to confer wth one another on this thread, or at least via PM. pumkinz, sandy, i dont think ive gotten a character sheet from you guys, apperently pumkinz is somewhere near or in mexico, not really sure about sandy.
so yeah, one more writer, and i actually havent started the newer map...i should get on that, but once those two thing are done, i will sunmit the actually story thread, thank you for your patience. if you know any one you can recruit into the story. oh, as for second characters, i figure there are a few safe ways to go about it. one, have it be a much shorter side story, maybe only ten or twenty post, depending on post length. two, you could start the second one shortly before killing off your first one, or write both at the same time, but if you proceed with that latter, make sure your well situated and settled in with you first one.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted December 3rd, 2011 in Writing

awesome work, hopefully a war wont bust out in this region, ill include that in a final map, maybe hand drawn and scanned? also, i thought i should mention, four corners is a country, not the part where four countries meet, it seemed like a possible misunderstanding. any ways, for the map, i do have one request from you. pick which of the four countries you want to write for , so i can write up a copasetic map. if any one has any border questions, please confer with me.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted December 3rd, 2011 in Writing

Well, yeah, Colorado did get split four ways, if you have geographical knowledge of Colorado, you could suggest border changes, the part where four countries coming together is probably right in the rocky mountains, which in somewhat implausible, so if you could look up some of the geographical aspects of your area, I could redraw it a bit, also, I thought about it, four corners should be a smaller, pretty much private country. As for the serial code system, only some countries have them, or maybe just mine, it's an authoritarian country.

Response to: Stupid status posts on Facebook. Posted December 2nd, 2011 in General

oh god, i agree, fuckin little drama queens, referring to the guys too, posting dark excerps from emo songs like the public give a shit what you have to say, really, of the eight people that read that, six go" what the hell are they going on about now", number seven just don't give a shit, and maybe number eight is like, that's so sad, even though they haven't really explained the randoms shit they just posted...i run across these things often...nice to have somewhere to finally rage about this retarded shit for a little.
sorry for the profanity, its been building up.

Response to: Need a history buff Posted December 2nd, 2011 in Writing

i don't know if i can compete with coop, but of all wars, my specialty is WW2, how ever, i assume your looking for more of a guide than actual facts, cause you can find anything you want on the internet. i guess PM me (on NG), and i could make some suggestions if your interested.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted December 1st, 2011 in Writing

The first thing I am going to do is welcome you to our story. And the second thing is ask where you got the impression my character was residing in the underground city; my character is going to live in Portland, FUSA (Oregon). Also, I feel that's I should mention that WW3 ended about 80 years before the start of this story, so are you saying that your people hid in the mountains for 80 years, maybe when they saw the destruction and the invasion and locked them away from the terror?
As far as portals go, they aren't man made, actually I am debating over which path to take, I could go with them being made by ancient civilizations, ancient civilizations being masqueraded by aliens or some deity. This is one of those things I am indeed looking for feedback on, however I am leaning toward the deities. Also, I have very recently decided that each gate will have a gate keeper, other than the surface gateway, and the way to open the gate is to defeat the gate keeper.
I haven't decided whether to include other forms of inter-realm travel (other than death for "heaven" and hell) , but if I were to include some form of back door portal, it would be after the initial gateway were opened.
Either way, again, I would like to see character sheets from all of you, list the name of yor country as I have stated is, then if you wish to change it , mention so, for instance, anyone who chooses Hollywood land, I actually encourage a name change, its somewhat of a silly name.
But , not counting mine, one of the things that will prompt me to start the story are 4 character sheets, so one from each of you and one from one more author, again, I will accept additional characters after the story has started, and I will accept more now.
As far as manmade portals go, man does not possess the technology, the prowess to create such a portal. The portals are divine. In fact, the only way to find the utility type portals are through initial travel of a gate way, however, a deity can force a portal to any gateway anywhere, but would be hard to persuade to do so.
Again, you ask questions to access a mass of ideas I have performed, but I submitted this story to this site to get ideas, form my own ideas and view other writing styles, plot points are also yours to develop, and I think you have been doing that, you have just been running them past me, which I greatly appreciate.
We are nearing the actual writing of the story, so I will continue to drop guidelines. For instance, since it appears that we will indeed have a few unwritten countries, you can write in details for countries around yours such as trade, commerce , economics, etc. Personally, since I live in Oregon, I am writing for FUSA, which Oregon falls into.
Shivers, you are writing on the east coast as far as I know, in case you missed this, this area is controlled by china currently, so you will have to deal with this, as well as people and the land effected by radiation, and in one of the post I mentioned small communities of radiated people, you should find and read it, again, optional to include, but hopefully you can derive part of your plot from it.
Again, thank you for all of your participation, I look forward to the actual story wouldn't be a bad idea, to get a jump on it now, I write all of my post in MS word before posting maybe you could start on your stories now, be prepared, I don't know, just a suggestion.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 30th, 2011 in Writing

Yes, there would be very little point in actually including them in the story; they would be mentioned as unimportant detail to a religion somewhere otherwise. The realms were created for a few reasons, one , to create a heaven and hell, now originally I had called heaven the kingdom of the deities to encompass more than one religion/mythology into the story, although there would be a few gods, I still planned for only one Satan. Now, the key problem with having all of this seep out would strongly change the story, however sandy, if your person is the only one, or at least one of few that can see the demons, the angels, Valkyries or ghost, then you wouldn't interfere in the storylines of others. Hopefully this answered all of your questions, but I feel I need to go more in-depth into the realms.
Now, the surface i.e. the surface of the earth, this is where pretty much everything we've talked about takes place, although, north America is the only place I've considered relevant to my stories, of course, based on my maps, I am referring to the continent of north America.
Next the sewers, this is a realm you can walk to, now this realm is undeveloped (as of details) and if one of you feel you have a good story line for it, throw it out. Now, the sewers aren't monumental, so maybe each person could right small plot points into, maybe you help a woman by finding her child in there, I don't know.
Now this one is more interesting, the underground city, if I knew what direction to take this one at all, there would be a name tacked on the end. Pumpkinz, I do like your idea of the underground city being a society of pure scientist, but from there, maybe that's why you go down there, you need knowledge that you can't get anywhere else, if you were in my country, you might be looking for non-censored information. Oh, and I just came to a realizations...it's a city, not everyone will have access to it, unless it was actually more like miles and miles of tunnels linking hundreds of underground cities, which would make it more of a realm...opinions?
Now, hell, Tartarus, underworld, whatever you see fit to call it, it will home Satan, truth be told, he may never leave, and no one might ever go in there, but he's there. Now, perhaps sandy you want to dive into this, I would like if, like I mentioned before, you could make your seeing them special, like a gift, I don't know if you'd like that idea, but it would give you a strong plot point to write around. Also, hell has demons, of course. Also, although invisible to most, there are Valkyries, which is Norse mythology I believe. They are pretty much reapers in I recall right. Sandy, as for what demons are susceptible to, you really need to look it up on the internet somewhere, maybe the bible, I don't know, but you could create a weapon in your story capable of destroying a demon with the simple draw of blood. Where would this sword be, maybe somewhere on the surface, hell, heaven, maybe you could go to the underground city and ask.
The kingdom of the deities, this is still in a liquid state, I am leaning toward a multi-god scenario, and this has no reflection on my personal beliefs. And instead of calling it mount Olympus or heaven, I wanted to keep it veg. Now, although it would be a stretch to get here in the first place, being as you would have to use a gateway or die, I sort of have the immaculate white, cloudy, roman architecture view of heaven I can't get out of my head, so I'm not sure how to go about it. Although heaven is often depicted in the sky, the kingdom of the deities exists on an alternate plane. By the way, when you want to discuss something with other people, even though we've begun writing, put it on this thread.
Now the other two realms, first, Ubi Omnibus Simul, which is Latin for" access point to all realms". This realm connects to all realms except the sewers, because the sewers are pretty a much a sub-realm. This realm holds five portals, according to the scientist of the underground city, one to the surface, which is generally the one you enter through first. However, not every portal is just open, even the first one is closed when you find it. Ubi Omnibus Simul isn't some small little realm with portals side by side. It's a vast realm with the portals spread out, and other than the first portal on the surface, the only way to open the other ones is from Ubi Omnibus Simul.
Finally, the last realm anyone will ever go to, Terra Nulla, the realm that time has forgotten. It is the surface, but there are no portals and no time. There is no sun, there is no moon, and it's pretty much where nightmares begin. The only real characterization of this realm that has ever been made is this," it's all of the worst parts of man, religion and history trapped and forced into a place worse than hell".
There are the seven realms, ta-da. Anyways, I want at least five people, counting me, on this before I commission the actual thread. Now, real quick guidelines, I expect at least one post a week, if you can't post that much, you aren't really interested in the story, at that point, you should probably just kill off you character. I would like more than one a week, because major events in one country will have some effect on other countries, and one person progressing to fast would throw the group timeline off a bit.
Well, at this point, I'm just waiting on two more people , however, we should all continue brainstorm, and to those two people, I require you to post on this post, get a reply from me ( I check it obsessively) and then reply again, then I'll give you the okay, this way you're sure this is what you want to do, everyone's welcome, Pumpkinz, sandy, if you know anyone that you could recruit in, please do so, then we can get cracking on this story, however, real quick, I could use clarification on your characters, so submit a character sheet to this thread please. Again, my character is in FUSA, which is territory #2 on the newer map, by the way, I think I am going to take time and make a much better map, however, I would like to know what countries you plan to write for, remember, you can change the name of your country, also, like in Pumpkinz story, if you have any changes to the current borders, the only one I'll be rigid on is the Mississippi, also, if there's a natural border like a river or mountain range I've overlooked, don't hesitate to bring it to my attention. So yeah, almost there, you guys are great, hopefully well get that base five, however, I'll be accepting authors after the story has launched , just follow the protocol I've mentioned, or PM me. Last but not least, even if we only hit five people, two people can write into the same country, but you will need to confer with whoever your writing with. We'll have to talk about multiple characters for on author later, I'd like to avoid it, but we'll see, for example, half of your story should be one person, they die, and then their son continues the story, I don't know. But things that affect more than just your country should be discussed in this thread. That's it for now.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 26th, 2011 in Writing

I am going to put out a character sheet now, but first, sandy, in you first post I overlooked the grey writing, and it's both a brainstorm and one of those roleplaying things. It's a brainstorm that we can all play out. I'm going back and looking over the whole thread to keep order in it. But, again, I want more people involved before creating the next thread, so far we potentially have three people, I would like one person per country, but I could settle at five.
So, right now it seems that we need to settle on the country that attacks us, I do like the tampering idea, not only is it plausible, it adds more plot points for the story and creates a situation where the fault doesn't actually fall with any particular country.
I reread your point about natural boundaries during times of turmoil again, and I'm going to change the map to fit this bit, but it should stay similar. The cascades and Rocky Mountains will come into effect for example.
Now, as far as any supernatural abilities go, there are limits. I would consider telekinesis acceptable, but as much as I love the thought of pyrokinesis, shooting blast of thermal energy out of your palms might be taking it too far. It'd be more acceptable to give these type of things to enemies that you will kill ,if that's the type of story you'll have, because then they will only be in the story a short while. The tech level is a little harder to clarify, so I'll do so with examples: cryogenics, bio-mechanical suits, lasers and super stimulants (like jet and psycho in fallout 3) would be okay where teleportation and flying cars might be a bit much. The source of the gateways will also have to be specified, whether their suspended portals or more like a star gate, also whether they were built by ancients, aliens or ancient aliens. If they were built by ancients, they would have to have been hidden, maybe uncovered by the war, but left unnoticed due to more prominent issues, like the repeated overthrows of the government. There is also the subject of aliens, or at least alien tech. If your person stumbles across aliens, signs of them or their tech, it would be better if they were on some sort of quest for information, but any plausibly justifiable means are good.
The way I see it, there are a few main plots for your character. There is the tried and true story of revenge; this is what I'll be using. There is the quest for answers, how did North America come to be like this, for example. And the situational problem, maybe you ended up involved in something that led you to somewhere else.
Now, to pumkinz, I somehow overlooked your second post, not sure how. But, I really like it, only one problem, unless I alter the map a little, not a whole lot, México, even the small amount of México that joined the former USA doesn't border the NCR ( like the acronyms you used). However I added a technical alteration of the map, this will undoubtedly not be the final version of it.
my updated map is on the bottom,it's sort of all over the place, but it's a work in progress.
Red line- everything west of it is the twelve countries... the Federation of North American Countries
Black line-everything below it is the NCR
Green line- borders México
Blue line- represents Canada's borders
White line- disputed territory
Purple line- the NCR's expanded territory to accommodate Pumkinz story.
Grey line- country borders within FNAC
1-alaska
2-FUSA
3-Hollywood land (silly name)
4-district of Helena
5-the four corners
6-texas
7-arixo
8-nebraska
9-Mid-West
10-northwest
11-borderland
12-bayou
13-NCR
14-canada
15-mexico
16-disputed territory
17-not involved in story
18-NCR's expanded territory for pumpkinz story.
My character sheet, this doesn't mean that I'm going to start the story right just yet, I'm just putting out a character sheet format.
File #2275001
Name: Serrilson, flint
Location: FUSA
Serial code: 199315
Date of Birth: 4/16/2081
Sex: M
Race: Caucasian
Known history
Occupation: Welder
Employer: Teracon Corp.
Clearance level: Kilo (one above citizenship)
Previous Employer: Jacobs and Finn
Affiliations: Teracon Corp, the Red Faction, Jacobs and Finn. , Army of FUSA

Real quick explanations, your serial code is the number or sequence that you are given for ID, this is more commonly used in authoritarian countries. Your known history is your occupation and employer, as well as your clearance level, some of you might be sporting top secret, and other are citizen level. Also, the scale types can vary from country to country, like the serial code. The only form fit for the clearance level is that you list how far above citizen clearance you are. You can list some previous employers too. And you can also list your affiliations past or present. That was a little confusing probably, what you can take from that is you can treat your character sheet like a surveillance file that's been on you for a while.
So that's that, hopefully this can boost our speed to getting to the actual story.

Friction Starter

Response to: If You Could Own Any Real Gun... Posted November 25th, 2011 in General

I've always been partial to a MGL (multiple grenade launcher)

If You Could Own Any Real Gun...

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 24th, 2011 in Writing

For one, nice, good summary, um, a few things have been looked into yes, but the realms haven't been discussed further. Also yeah, I sort of have an issue with typing orderly at first, I usually go back and revise, but this isn't the actual story after all. The realms, which I lose faith in every time we clarify an idea, are something that sort of need developed. I do like your idea for the underground city though, I didn't develop the plot to much before putting it on this site, however I started compiling ideas to stitch in later, the realm are some of these things.
Now, the evil clichéd company CEO type guy was specified for my country. I did type up some story before converting it into a group story. Next up, the names of the countries, by the way, these are 100 percent negotiable. Hawaii became lupain ng ang libreng, Filipino for "land of the free". I couldn't find a translator for Hawaii, and truthfully, I'm not sure whether Hawaii will be annexed or not, though it seems like it would.
Alaska became the Alaskan Democracy (AD). Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, most of Nevada, the Yukon, a third of Utah, half of Idaho, most of the northern territories and most of Alberto remained FUSA. I realize that was confusing, but through basic geography and the map from the earlier post.
California and California Baja Norte became Hollywood land (H). Arizona, most of New Mexico, the bottom third of Colorado and the rest of Utah became the four corners (FC). Montana and parts of the surrounding states became the district of Helena. North and South Dakota became Dakota (D). Texas, the tops of its bordering ex-Mexican states, Oklahoma and most of Kansas became Texas (T). The land not taken by other regions of the ex-Mexican states combined to become Arixo (A). Nebraska and the remaining parts of Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, Idaho and the north east corner of Kansas became the mid-west (MW). Louisiana became the bayou (B). Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri and Arkansas became the borderland (BL).
Again, these were thought of back to back, and some sound a little...Goofy, such as Hollywood land. But like I said, feel free to change them, just in case anyone missed it, my country will be the one encompassing Oregon; it's called the Former United States of America or FUSA. It's what the whole US and territory and México and Canada became before it too was taken down, but instead of the traditional full overthrow, FUSA was pushed back into its own country. At some point a company grew to such a power that it turned the government into a vestigial group with a figure head president.
The only to realms that are intangible with proper passage are Ubi Omnibus Simul, which is Latin for the access point to all realms, it's a nexus between all of them and the other realms, there are gateways on all surfaces and it's the only way to get to the heaven type realm and Terra Nulla, the realm that time has forgotten, I haven't dwelled to deeply into this one, although I have a few ideas, one is that it's the earth as a barren wasteland, maybe it's the earth when it was young, a forest covers most of the surface and there are still dodo birds. Also it could be a random, new terrain in a far off place; it's one of those things that needs work or to be scrapped.
Any ways, hopefully this helped, and hopefully I'll get a satisfactory amount of people and a solid plot so we can all start writing. Ask about any concerns you have.

Response to: "Flash" plot- looking for Criticism Posted November 23rd, 2011 in Writing

Unfortunately, yes, it does seemed clichéd, it reminds me of lots of things, mostly the part about government engineered super soldiers and such, however, and things that are clichéd are that way because people like them. I can't really think of anything right now to compare it to.
There's nothing really wrong with the plot, in fact I did a similar thing with a plot of my own, but I turned my story into a group project, iv 'e gotten a lot of insight, by the way, if you want to check it out, there's a lot of spots open in the thread...a lot and the plot is the type of place where you could take your plot on a test run, just alter the names and a few other things.
Same thing goes for your character as your plot. Clichéd yes, but fine anyways. Also, I agree, this type of thing would be better for a graphic novel than a full length novel, or if you really get you story down, you could always try to get an animator to animate it.
By the way, my story, the friction starter thread.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 23rd, 2011 in Writing

Well hopefully we can get other people involved; I had hoped to get enough people to fill up the map at least. Then you can have someone to bash heads with. Now, I am accommodating to any ideas put in front of me, so I'll put this little plot point out first. Militarized evil company runs government, CEO is pretty much a Batman villain. My Countries Red Faction is a rebellion, however, the Red Factions in other countries, hopefully not all of them, could lose sight of their initial goals, I would request maybe a backstory for you red faction, a small one, maybe one leader died and a new one took over and it turns out...he's a batman villain.
Yeah, the red faction are actually the good guys in my story, my main character was at some point a member, and ends up with them later in the story because of who the antagonist of my story is. My only concern with what you've put out is making my red faction look bad, but maybe if we timed it write by making them look bad in your story and good in mine, maybe people will start to wonder in my guys actually bad or if your character is actually good or not. But yeah, you could pretty much just have the red faction in your country be terrorist, just try to make some kind of subtle notion that they somehow vary, or we could just run these stories paralleled until one day, maybe my guys chilling at the Red Faction HQ when a low member runs up with a newspaper or something, the head line reads " Red Faction Responsible for death of 600 orphans in some other country", unless there's some sort of censorship issue that would stop news from crossing borders.
Okay, uh, solid work on the treaty, and again, maybe this is something that we'd be able to discuss with others...if we had other people. And apart from looking into the political situation of china, NATO, Korea and any other country or organization that might fit into the doomsday scenario that triggers this story to be the least bit plausible, we need more people, its plain, its simple, there needs to be other writers.
But, again, thanks for joining up, helping me take rough ideas and polish them down and of course, actually being in the story, because were apparently having issues getting others to join. K then.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 21st, 2011 in Writing

yeah, so, anyone else who thinks they would like to write in a character, it needs to be submitted in this thread to be valid in the actual thread, so that you can discuss anything that you might want clarification on or to change, could really use more people about now.

Response to: Newgrounds - The Interviewer Posted November 19th, 2011 in Writing

i gotta tell you, i'm liking what your doing here, when i saw this in the writing forum, i thought it was some sort of story, and i'm trying to expand myself in this particular forum. i had run courser over this before, neglecting it, but today i decided to take a look, and i almost didn't go any further, but i decided to click on the link to the main page and such, and the first thing i saw was tom fulp, i was intrested, i read down the list at the speed where only things you know stick out, i saw jazza first, then sexual lobster and eddsworld, i watched the eddsworld one, regardless, i plan to keep cheking out these interviews, anyways, just thought id offer a little recognition and validation.

Response to: Writing Forum Lounge Posted November 19th, 2011 in Writing

hey, I'm somewhat new here, what a year since sign-up. i try to participate in this forum often, I've been involved in a story or two. i don't know if you saw the fantasy story thread a few months ago, i wrote in flint, the human. i also wrote in logic's zombie survival reboot, but came across a problem i run into very often, i lose interest and stop writing, i don't even kill off my character, i'm working on it.
Anyways, i use this forum often, I've put out a poem here and there. but regardless, my favorite thing in this forum is group writing projects where multiple people form there own character in a story, speaking of which, i am organizing one of these, its call the "friction starter" thread. i would appreciate some input, maybe some submissions, I've only really had one person respond, although they are extremely helpful, i posted to this site for variety, to help me not lose interest in the story, but i didn't post here to advertise a thread ( maybe a little) i just try to involve myself in NG's writing community, and this seems like a good way to go about it.

-Paradigmvulpes

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 18th, 2011 in Writing

You're right, I have been playing a bit too much fallout, and the mutant's idea just came out. I suppose I should look up some information on nuclear yields and explore the effects of nuclear radiation. Here's my replacement for the crazy fallout-like scenario. In the areas around the D.C., NYC, and Philadelphia Craters, there will be large communities of gravely effected people, they will be blind, have no sense of smell, and have alopecia, any numerous disabilities. Some of them may have increased strength or any other abilities. Cancer will rage through the communities, and it will be a terrible place to live, since they are sent there as outcast. However, some will leave and spread out through the annexed states, which could use an official name.
This of course, would be an acceptable character, but it would be easier just to have a character living in the annexed states run into them. The image I have shown most of them as wholesome people, strongly believing in Christ, a sentiment somewhat lost in the wars and destruction that is this lands new history...that's an oxymoron. Also, I imagine that there would be a group of trouble makers living outside the settlements led by a man twisted by the mutated blood running through his veins, maybe strong enough from the tolerance his blood line had built from the radiation, Making his stronger than any man, and one of the few with a fully working organ system, improved eyesight and superhuman strength. These are just some rough ideas.
There are still some things that need to be worked out with the china thing. For one I am open to alternate ideas. Maybe multiple countries that hated America worked together and used North Korea as a puppet to destroy America. Maybe as far as we know, Korea annexed the countries, but there is a map somewhere that shows Germany holding Maine and china with the rest of New England? All I know is that the country would have to be blitzkrieged so hard by a country strong enough to invade.
The good thing about this story is that a character could seek answers about it, maybe going as far as to sneak into the annexed zone and find an underground facility finding documents or something.
Yes, each character will come from their own county, they will pretty much gain control over that region. If someone else wants to partake in citizenship of that region, they will actually need to discuss this with the holder of that country and any major story arcs involving the country need to be conferred.
I also will give a list of names for the countries, which are entirely up for revision, and I'm also giving them control over the country's economic, social, military, governmental situation and what the capitol is. My country will be the one including Oregon, Washington, British Columbia and so on. It's on the map. I decided to give it the strongest ties to the former USA because in the story line I previously devised, the whole red area was once one country, made via the overthrow of the old government. Anyways, this government failed as well, but instead of total collapse, it has been receded back into a smaller country, FUSA, the Former United States of America. Apparently, by the way, FUSA is what some theoreticized will be American within the turn of the century. I did not now this when I came up with it, I stumbled upon it while looking for the correct spelling of fuchsia...don't ask. Anyways, I found that my idea wasn't original in anyway, I meant, almost word for word I swear, other than the trigger (the attack). FUSA Actually stands for Former United States of America, which is what I had it stand for...so I am considering a change to be original. In my country, a company controls the government and police force through figureheads

Next up, the red faction, I sort of just chose the name. They have no ties to communist, Marxism, socialism or fascism. They are, however an anti-government group with the goal of reuniting the United States under its original condition, back in 2011, but maybe without the debt.
They will exist in countries like mine more based on the totalitarian government. A more anarchist country would also see them, but they would try to pacify any problems and create a government with a plan to unify. Where you won't see them is past the old U.S. borders, and they don't operate in the annexed zones, at least not until they can unify the countries back into the USA. The Red Faction has very strong ties to my character, he was a member and he will see them a lot.
That is actually a territory I hadn't gone into very much, but I assume that they are at peace right now, maybe there is tension, some states might have closed borders, and it's really something that should be discussed, maybe if we can get some more submissions. Either way.
As for you stomping on my dreams, the whole reason I put this on this page is to get criticism, ideas and explore the story further, you are taking it to the next level and its actually very helpful.
And finally, the attack route. This thought had indeed crossed my mind. The reason I did it like that is that I live in Oregon, I wanted to include it, so I am making the capitol of my country Portland, Oregon, it's also the setting for my character. Also, since they attack Washington to cut the head off of the snake, they couldn't risk losing troops on the way to D.C. again; some things need to be developed. Again , that's why I am here on this site.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 15th, 2011 in Writing

you are a really good person to bounce ideas off of, and right now all i have is a mass of ideas in a liquid state. and no, i hadn't heard of that person. no, first off your right in a lot of ways, also, i havent put forth the entierty of all my info on this story, and ideas for the future. originally, only the areas around d.c. got hit, NYC took a hit, so did pheledelphia. i also thought that if someone wrote as an ex american in the annexed state, theyed have a stiry similar to fallout 3, with out the vault and such. also, it would introduce new elements into the story. maybe the mississippi river, the original border between the annexed states and the free states, would be littered with mutated people, animals, hell , even plants.

still, although it would revamp the story hardcore, the texas i dea isnt half bad, of course i have written most of the prologue to the story, which i am using as a base right now, ans that would have to be rewrittrn, so imnot really sure whee to go, which path to take...im pretty much turning over control to you and any toher people who might want to take part in this story, because with out a variiety of people, this stroy wont take off the way ive planned. by the way, when i put out the friction story thread, do you plan to write a character in? i understand that its hard to get a good format in mind untill these "liquid" ideas take a more stable form. so , right now ill put out some of the main things i had planned, together we should be able to come up with a good, plausible story line leading up to the storylines of the individule characters.

one, i used the missisippi river as a border , but that could easily change, hell, even the names up for change.
two, there will be a critical breakdown of socity, causing the law to be taken into citizens hands, i mean, in my countrie the judicail, legislative and executive nranches run throguh a corperation.
three, there will be a presence of a group called the red faction in all countries. they are an anti government group that wants the power to be restored to the people, so there will be a large concentration in my country, but other countries may have a vary weak government, leaving thier presence unneeded.
four, any border state ( a state bordering mexiico, canada or the annexed zone will be face with tension, skirmishes and possibly all out war.
now, these are thing i would love feed back on further, well, more like guidance that feedback. the name of the story, the attacker, the names of countires , number and placement of countries, nuclear properties, and others things that you can think of. if there are other people reading this, i want other people in this too, not to say that sandy hasn't been incredibly helpful and serious, something i fear ill have to deal with later.
i also drew up a prototype map. i want to say a few things a bout it. one, its subject to change, and two, i drew it in ms paint, so its not fantastic. also i had to shrink it to get it on this thread, so its sort of shitty looking. either way, the red bordered area is the new america, green is mexico now and i think i did the annexed states in black, but they might be blue, either way, east of the Mississippi is the annexed area. Canada is where it is, other than where its red bordered and there is a whited bordered area near green land that is disputed. like i said, its not the greatest map. thanks for everything so far.

Friction Starter

Response to: Looking for a story Posted November 14th, 2011 in Writing

if you cant find a story you like, you could always make a music video, try Carolina drama by the raconteurs, weird song.

Response to: Friction Starter Posted November 13th, 2011 in Writing

well, i had written some back story with the china thing and to tell the truth, in the story, there isn't much of a war left at the beginning of the story, WW3 , according to the story, happened about 80 years ago, at the point in the story were at.really any war, like china launching a hydrogen bomb at Washington D.C.
but , if you are interested in writing your own character, then you can help me pick a new trigger that turned today's world into north america 2117. if you get back to me and want to write in a character, ill go into the map of north america in 2117, versus north america 2011.
like i said, the reason i put this on this site was to get outside an opinion. alright, one man cant triggers this, the way i see it, it has to be something strong enough to take down the USA. how a bout Korea?
wait, i just got an idea.

some one messes with electrical systems to simulate an incoming attack from china, so we fire at china. they see our missiles and actually fire at up. leaving D.C., New York and Philadelphia as piles of rubble. on the other side of things, we have greatly damaged china's land, so, since we fired on them, they take revenge by invading from the east. the kicker is that the everyone in the presidential line of succession is dead down to the secretary of transportation. he doesn't know how to handle the war and china pushes us back to the Mississippi river, where we make our stand and stop their advances.
however , if you are still not a fan of that idea, please throw out an idea, but remember they have to be able to take down america, that usually means nuclear capabilities. but either way, i still wanna hear some ideas.

Friction Starter Posted November 13th, 2011 in Writing

This is a starter thread for a story I have been working but I elected to first write out the story with multiple characters, to help brainstorm and see what Ideas seem good and where they lead as well as gaining outside influence. This is not the story thread, that won't come out for a week or two; this is more for brainstorming and organization.
First, the back story, it is the 2117 and you are to create a character dealing with this society. After several over throws and china annexing 24 us states (from the Mississippi east) and America turning into a federation of states, include some territory from Mexico and Canada. Eventually, via revolution, the country breaks up into 12 smaller countries. Now there is tension between the 12 countries, Canada to the north, Mexico to the south and China's territories to the east.
The story has basic structures, such as the new countries, a break out of war and a group called the red faction. From there, excluding some other details, the stories is yours to take into any direction you like, however, there are seven main "realms to deal with". The one you will primarily deal with is the surface, which is the surface of the earth, specifically North America. You can pick your person to be from one of the twelve countries, an ex-American in the annexed countries controlled by china, a Chinese soldier, a Canadian or a Mexican, unless you come up with something else good, for example, other realms include the sewers, the underground city which I have yet to name, hell, and a heaven like realm which encompasses many mythologies and religions. There's also the realm that time has forgotten and a realm that serves as a gate way to all of the main realms as well as a few minor realms that I haven't thought of yet, like I said, it's a work in progress. Here's an example for a character by the way, you're a scientist living in one of the countries, which houses the gate way to the realm that connects to all realms, unfortunately, you can't get it open, so you're on a quest for answers.
There are a lot of loose ends, which is why I made a starter thread instead of just starting the stories. Now, I have chosen names for all of the countries, but they are subject to change, except the one my character will be in. you can also choose the capitols, just keep it reasonable, like the largest city of the dominant state in the region. Many states are cut into pieces and divided into the countries. So a good capitol would be a whole state or somewhere near the center of the country, or maybe a major city you know of and would find easier to write about.
I think anywhere from 5-20 characters would be good, at least enough to cover every country.
There is another topic I need to bring up, since there are supernatural things, you may want to add magic, that's not good. You could have a sword blessed by a priest and have it be more effective against the undead or something, but keep it orderly, thought the primary weapons you'll use should be along the lines of guns, but variety is good. As for local flora and fauna, think borderlands, you know the game. Mutations are allowed, but there should be a viable source. These are things we can go into later. Before any major decisions are made in the story, confer with the people they effect and if possible me.
The condition of countries will probably vary. My country will have strong progressions in science and industry to the point that a large company is pretty much in control of the government. Maybe your country will be comprised of small settlements, sort of like fallout, god knows what state the former USA is in.
Next up, although there should be lots of discussions, mind you, about your content, as far as the tech level goes, maybe there are crazy medical progressions, but you should probably avoid flying cars, aliens should be discussed, but are a topic you should be careful of, but cryogenics, are okay, where teleportation might be taking it a bit far, other than the gateway realm.
Finally, I know from personal experience that you sometime write all that you can, and decide to quit the story, if so, kill off your character. Do it meaningfully, have it effect another character somehow, maybe have them go missing mysteriously if you think you may want to start writing again in a few weeks. If you feel you want to add a big factor that hasn't been previously discussed, confer with me, I will seldom turn it down. The point of me putting this on this site is to get outside perspectives. Also, include the things you know, write yourself into the story, if you are a car enthusiast, and have your character find a rusty 426 hemi Plymouth 'Cuda or a Nissan Silvia.

I look forward to your serious participation, thank you.

once i pick a person or two up, i bring out my character sheet up, which will cover everything you'll need to explain about your character, then we can start doling out the countries. also, i have a few ideas for characters ill go into soon.

Response to: Respond in Haiku-style thread Posted October 29th, 2011 in General

what is wrong with you
cant you do better than this
you are fucking lame

challenge some of us
why not an English sonnet
at least it takes thought

Response to: Ghostbusters sucks Posted October 29th, 2011 in General

why dont you just get the fuck out of america.

Response to: You survive a nuclear war... Posted October 23rd, 2011 in General

this really seems like it should be in the writing forum...

Response to: The Ten Questions Posted October 13th, 2011 in General

Innuendo
Irreguardless..its a double negitive
Glasses
small tits
Music
stuff scratching on stuff, i can feel it in my finger nails
fuck, especially with face after it.
Zoology
Waste management
welcome to heaven, yeah, that stuff you did wasn't that bad.

Response to: Arrested Development-New season and Posted October 3rd, 2011 in General

love that show, i heard about the movie, but i hadnt heard about any episodes...nothin like a little attempted incest.

Response to: NG music videos Posted October 2nd, 2011 in Game Development

nice to see both sides argued, personally, i think that seeing music videos made for newgrounds of songs you like is a fantastic idea, and it isnt uncommon at all. plus, your right, parodies, and even serious music videos tend to be more popular because they take elements you already like and display them in a similar or dead on way. either way, if you look at the link for carolina drama, listen to that song and tell me there isnt potential for a serious music video flash.
oh, and sorry for my mistake on the links, they looked stacked up when i posted, but came out linear, there still good songs and i could see them going well, whether you actually aim for the point like in "tribute", or do it like edd in "sugar"

Response to: Take your first name... Posted October 2nd, 2011 in General

elyk...finnish soft rock

NG music videos Posted September 18th, 2011 in Game Development

me, i dont have a program to animate with and wouldn't know what to do, but a lot of you are pretty BA at it, so i think some of you should make Flash music videos for these songs...

Carolina Drama
This cowboys hatsing for the momentDream onhotel californiaturn the page either metallica or seger

these are just a few songs i thought would have potential for a good music flash, also, even if you dont animate these ideas, i'd love to hear your opinions on these songs and other suggestions for songs that maybe someone will run with and make a bitchin' music video to.

Response to: Drunk or High ? Posted September 18th, 2011 in General

there both pretty great, ive never tried driving drunk, but , atleast being drunk wont get you in a piss test 20 days later...so i'd go with alchohal, anyways, i can legally buy that shit in about two years.

Response to: If failure was non-existent... Posted September 18th, 2011 in General

play the lottery, pick up on hot celebrities I.e. jennifer aniston, emma stone, chalize therron, etc. , get away with murder and go to heaven when i die...but failure is a part of life and i will do none of those, except maybe go to heaven, if im lucky.