Guys are really into girls for their looks so it's only natural that we'd think girls think the same of us. This isn't true. First and foremost, girls want a MAN. Being shy is not endearing. Girls have a pussy, they don't need another one. You'll hear this a million times, but CONFIDENCE is singularly the most important thing. As important as looks in a girl are to most men, CONFIDENCE is just as important for girls.
So what does confidence mean for you?
IN CASUAL INTERACTION, you're not desperate. Do not let a girl think that she's your number one priority even if she is. Always give the impression that you DO have better things to do than talk to some girl -- you just feel like giving her the time of day at that moment. Give the impression that you are an awesome guy with an awesome life, and if she's lucky you'll take her along for the ride.
IN CONVERSATION, you talk and act like you're on top of the situation. Keeping up a good conversation with a girl is known as "LAYING GAME." You have SOMETHING APPROPRIATE TO SAY, you don't allow awkward silences. You don't EVER give the impression of being intimidated, uneasy, or unsure of yourself or your social abilities. What you say should underscore your ability to tell funny (But appropriate) stories, your friendly nature, your easiness to talk to. You don't reveal too much of yourself. Basically, you have to be smooth and engaging. Be timely. You smile. You speak up. Try not to make her repeat herself too often. Use your conversation to flirt. Tease her - make fun of her good-humoredly - without insulting her. Don't be afraid to touch her (innocently) when appropriate. Don't be afraid to use the word "girl." Never think of a girl or yourself as sexless in any context. Always remember that you are a MAN talking to a WOMAN -- it has the same implication for her as it does for you. Remember that, as the MAN, it is your responsibility to kindle the sexual tension that will come with being able to keep up a good conversation. Possibly most importantly, feel things out. If she's giving the impression that she is happy talking with you, keeps up a conversation, smiles, leans inward... that's a good sign. There will always be some girls who wont be interested in you. They will show it--if they're unimpressed, bored, etc. no matter how good of a conversation you're keeping up... You don't waste your time with them. Don't be afraid to end a good conversation on a whim (Quitting while your ahead), especially if you feel like you might not be able to keep up the conversation much longer. It might sound odd, but YOU want to be the one to say "uh oh its been good talking to you but I have to go." YOU set the terms. YOU are the MAN. No matter what she says as an excuse, it's never a good thing if she says she has to go, unless its particularly early in the conversation.
IN MAKING A MOVE: After you've talked to a girl a few times (or even just once, if you two have really hit it off), You can ask her to hang out sometime and ask for her number. Always assume she is single unless she says otherwise (girls with boyfriends love to mention that they have a boyfriend). You don't need to know any activity in particular to do, "hang out sometime" will suffice. This is not necessarily asking her out on a date as much as it is a way to gauge how she thinks of you. If she seems psyched by the idea and smiles a yes, that's a very good sign. If she hesitantly says "sure," try to feel her out (smiling? squirming? turned off by the idea?)-- she's either shy or trying not to hurt your feelings. If you get the feeling she's not too interested, take her number, don't call her, don't try again. Move on. If she's happy about you asking her to hang out, keep her number and, within the week or so(but not too soon), figure out something to do together. At this point, you can either call her to ask her on a date, or you can ask her to some innocent daytime event if you want to take it slower. If there's some prominent daytime event, you might want to take her to that. If you choose to do something with her in the daytime, though, this is NOT a date. If you choose the "daytime" route, be aware of two things: ONE- under no circumstances, will you ask her to another daytime event directly following this one. TWO- you pretty much have to ask her out on a real date by the time you take her home. Failure to observe these two rules will land you in the abyss of the "friend zone." Ask her to dinner (obviously on a different, LATER date than the daytime event). Dinner, with a girl, equals date. She knows what dinner means.
THE HOOKUP: You have to kiss her, properly, with mouth and tongue, to confirm your progress. The timing on this is vital. If you've gone the "daytime-event-then-a-dinner-date" route, if may be appropriate to kiss on the first date seeing as you've already hung out with her once before. If the first time you're "hanging out" is on your first date, you might not want to kiss her. But a good, right moment has priority, even if it is on your first date. It can be the perfect way to end a good night, or an epic fail. A good time for a kiss is when your interaction brings the two of you emotionally and physically close... at which point you have to feel it out and do what comes natural.
ANYWAYYYYYY
I've been typing this shit for too long. To wrap it up I need to give a few last pieces of general advice:
1. MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN ASAP. Do not have more than 2 or 3 involved interactions with a girl before asking her to hang out. This is vital. If you've talked to the same girl like every day for months, in depth, and have a serious friendly relationship, you're probably fucked already. You're just a friend to her.
2. Rejection is not a bad thing. Teenage guys have this ridiculous idea of rejection as being something horrible that everyone will make fun of them for. Every single guy will get rejected in his life, probably several times. It's part of the game. The earlier the better. The important thing is NOT whether you get rejected, it's how you respond to that rejection. You play that shit cool. A real pimp doesn't give a fuck if some dumb bitch is too stupid to know quality when they see it.
3. Getting girls is a numbers game. It's pretty much completely random who will be interested in you and who will not. You have to keep trying, laying game to any and all girls you're interested in. Never get discouraged. If you're in high school, and no girls are into you, that doesn't necessarily mean that something's wrong with you, it's very possible that the girls in your school are stuck up bitches. I never got any ass in high school, but that changed literally my first day of college.
4. "Do you want to go out sometime?" is not a way to ask someone out. I learned this the hard way.
5. When at drunken parties, alcohol is your friend. This only applies if you just want quick ass though.
6. A word about the friend zone: This is an effectively permanent place girls put guys who have failed to make a move soon enough, or they're just not attracted to.
Christ i just wrote a whole fucking essay this better get you laid
