Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 6/27/11 03:20 AM, Chazz wrote:

When I Was 12 I Was An Idiot.

Nothing's changed.

I thought we were bro's, bro.

I made this account in 2005 when I was 12 years old. I'm now almost 19 and just remembered the password for my old NG account and thought I'd go through all my old forum posts for shits and giggles.

If I had a time machine I'd go back in time and tell the 12 year old me to GTFO the internet and stop noobing up the place.

4chan apart from /b/
/b/
Something Awful
Newgrounds
WoW community forums
Myspace

fix'd

Okay, NG/, describe your current bf/gf in three words.

I'll start.

Big Fat Whale

or, Man The Harpoons

Tony Stark built this in a cave.

please, newgrounds?

I need halp.

So, I've got one of these phones here, and I want to put a custom ringtone on it.

I can't do the WAP server thing because I'm behind a router, so I need to find some way to convert the imelody codes so I can put them into the phone myself.

I've already tried using the Coding Workshop Ringtone Converter, but my phones not listed on there.

halp, newgrounds?

This is the code I'm trying to use
Knight Rider:d=4,o=5,b=63:16e,32f,32e,8b,16e6,3 2f6,32e6,8b,16e,32f,32e,16b,16e6,d6,8p,p ,16e,32f,32e,8b,16e6,32f6,32e6,8b,16e,32 f,32e,16b,16e6,f6,p

At 2/17/08 12:37 AM, UMREE wrote:

At 2/17/08 12:33 AM, Tugler wrote: What are you going to do with all that punch? And can you take a picture of that dick that fell out?

yea thats true, how do we know this is real? (not that im gay or anything)

I don't think I could post a picture of the dick here on newgrounds, I'm pretty sure it'd qualify as pornographic material or something, and I really don't want to get banned.

Okay, so after calling his cell a few more times, someone finally answered.

It was one of the nurses at the hospital. She said that he showed up late last night in an ambulance, with a lot of blood loss.

I wonder what could have happened to him?
Maybe after he dropped me off at my house and started back home, he was carjacked. Oh god, they could have stabbed him with a knife or something!

I'm going to call his mum back and tell her about this, she diddn't seem to know anything about it when I talked to her a few minutes ago.

UPDATE

okay, so I just got off the phone with my friend's mum. It seems that my friend never made it home last night, and still hasn't gotten back. I've tried calling his cell phone but there's no answer.

I'm so fucking scared, I hope he's okay.

I'm really scared you guys.

The last thing I remember doing last night was getting into the car with one of my friends. I was drunk off my ass, and he had to drive. I think I must have passed out in the car or something, because I don't remember anything else until when I just woke up a few hours ago.

Maybe I should call my friend up and ask if anything happened.

At 2/17/08 12:12 AM, tfcwonderboy wrote: Clean your fucking grout.
Better yet, clean the entire washroom.
Also, you better get to sewing that penis back on.

no, no, no...

I diddn't shit my own penis, it's still there.

Newgrounds, I need help.
So I was having a completely normal bowel movement, I sat down, pissed a little, shit, pissed a little more, but after I wiped, I looked at the toilet paper that just touched my ass. It was completely bloody. I mean it was fucking soaked with fucking blood. I still heard trickling noises, but I wasn't pissing. I was fucking shitting blood. So I sat there trying to think of what the fuck to do, on a toilet, shitting blood like a fucking volcano. Minutes seemed like seconds, I think I'm going to die, and it stops. I wipe again, stand up and look in the toilet. I can't fucking believe my eyes.

Theres a fucking dick in the toilet.

Jesus christ I can't even fucking think right now, I just threw the dick in the bag shown in the pic below, still haven't been able to clean up.
I just shit a fucking dick. How. The. Fuck.

At 2/4/08 01:09 AM, TheNossinator wrote:

At 2/4/08 01:07 AM, Overlord-Master wrote:

At 2/4/08 01:06 AM, Thomas wrote: That sucks.Does it itch terribly?

^ this guy diddn't read the whole thing.

That's because it's a wall of text. Make seperate paragraphs and people will read.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ss-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks.

It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair.

My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class.

After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack.

Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring dramather torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

At 2/4/08 01:06 AM, Thomas wrote: That sucks.Does it itch terribly?

^ this guy diddn't read the whole thing.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ss-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring dramather torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

At 1/13/08 07:10 PM, bicostp wrote:

At 1/13/08 06:55 PM, TheAmateurAnimator wrote: iTunes Music Store = fail. You're better off just buying CDs and saving yourself from having to deal with computer authorization and DRM.

But that's what CD-RWs are for!

Burn & Rip. Hey, it's not like you wouldn't do that if you bought the CD, right?

FUCK! I totally forgot about that! Burning it to a CD and then Ripping it does get rid of the DRM, doesn't it?

At 1/13/08 06:53 PM, psycho-squirrel wrote: Limewire or Frostwire

You already bought them. So it isn't stealing if you don't want to steal.

yeah, but don't you get loads of spyware and shit from there?

I've got some songs that I've transferred to my computer through a LAN, but now whenever I try to play them in itunes, it says "This computer is not authorized to play '<song name>'. Would you like to authorize it?" and then there's a thing to sign into itunes.

here's the problem, though, I can't remember my login information for itunes, and I can't reset the password because I made up some random email for that account.

is there something I can do to fix this, other than just buying them all over again from itunes?

it's CATURDAY!

At 10/22/07 10:41 PM, Reserved-Username wrote:

At 10/22/07 10:39 PM, Overlord-Master wrote: yeah, yeah, I'm moar homosexual than dumbledore.

but really, can anyone else get on 4chan?

THIS IS NOT FUCKING 4CHAN. LEAVE 4CHAN TO 4CHAN, AND NG TO NG.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE FAGGOTS CAUSING ALL THIS 4CHAN-NG HATRED, AS WELL AS SHITTING UP BOTH OF THE BOARDS.

</caps>

yeah, okay, for reals. I'm not here trying to cause a bunch of hate or whatever, I just wanna know if anyone else can get on there, or if it's just me.

and if you're talking about the gay thing, I really AM gay, alright? so fuck off.

yeah, yeah, I'm moar homosexual than dumbledore.

but really, can anyone else get on 4chan?

I can't get on 4chan for some reason. D:

is this happening to everyone or does god just hate me?

okay then.

but what if I stick it up my bum?

okay, well what if I stick it up my bum and then turn it on?

At 10/15/07 06:07 PM, Straight-Edge wrote: Nothing, I've seen one of them break before. There's a hugh pop )(ost likley because the sphere is a vaccum), and that's it

I'm talking about turning it on after it's broken.

What happens if an electrostorm ball breaks? If I turn it on will it kill me dead?

At 10/10/07 10:50 PM, Hellraiser wrote:

At 10/10/07 10:50 PM, SirSloth wrote: take the time to really discover how little we know about eachother?

im not gay.

I am gay.

link

Is this the same guy that did NGforumLIVE a while back?

fapping, peanut butter, and WoW