Dear Mr. Wade Fulp,
To whom it may concern, I here by announce that I would make for an excellent addition to the moderator team. Three years overseas and 2 years under sea have been more then enough to make this fact clear to me. For during this time I spent most of my traveling penniless and without gills (Which if you are unaware, come in very handy while underwater). I believe these facts alone speak louder then anything else I could provide for you.
But if you are still not yet convinced, let me continue.
I am the treasurer for the Horse Riding club at the local JCC (Jewish Community Center). I have beaten Fallout 3 a ghrand total of Three times (Eat that Wallabee Barker you damned Commie) and have single handedly written my name on the sidewalk using nothing but my own sdaliva for the amazing prize of a dollar.
I also drink my Ovaltine every night before I go to bed, which I have done faithfully for the past 2 years. I believe such faith and dependability are two of the most necessary qualities to look for when choosing a Bulletin Board System Moderator. This, along with my overwhelming lust for toasters and other commonly found electronics in the average American kitchen can be yours, for the amazing price of FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT.
Prices may differ after mail and rebate blah blach blah
