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Unable to buy Minecraft... Posted February 28th, 2013 in General

I was trying to buy Minecraft, and they kept asking for credit card information. It really annoyed me, but I kept going. Then they asked for a Security Code or something. I'm trying to use my Mom's credit card, and SHE doesn't even know what the **** this "Security Code" is. She thought it was the three numbers on the back, but that's something else.

After trying to get through the system so many times, they kicked me out and said I couldn't use the card. Now what am I supposed to do? Fuck you Notch.

Response to: How to tie a noose? Posted February 10th, 2013 in General

At 2/10/13 02:50 AM, Viper50 wrote: Why exactly do you need to know this? o.O

A school project.

Thank you, and goodbye.

How to tie a noose? Posted February 10th, 2013 in General

Hello everyone, I'm really bad at tying knots, and I need some basic help.

Can someone link to or explain basic directions to tying a noose, such as one that would be tied somewhere, and then come down in a typical noose fashion?

Thanks in advance.

Response to: I am a proud redneck. Posted December 27th, 2012 in General

At 8/22/12 05:53 PM, Wriggle wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A16byPNVE4&feature=youtu.be

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

There is nothing wrong with it either.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

:Tactical gear & guns are what I live for.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

:This right will not be infringed.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

How am I supposed to watch... Posted December 27th, 2012 in General

"The Wire"?

I mean sure, those airheads online can scream and shout about how f****** great the show is, but if you can't even watch the first episode for free anywhere, just to get a frickin taste of it, why the hell should I be expected to gamble on it? I mean, it's not even on Netflix for cryin' out loud. And oh, I've searched the internet high and low. I found ONE video, and it was in such terrible quality that I wanted to punch my computer in the hope that it would break the face of the person hosting the video and the people who made the show for making it impossible to find without slamming down ~$20 for a Season 1 DVD.

Good God, now you've turned a potential fan away. Good damn job.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted December 12th, 2012 in General

I don't know why I'm posting this, since most of you just read the first post and then go on your smug ways laughing about the fat guy who only worked out for two weeks, but it's been almost FOUR MONTHS now.

Why, yes, I have been in a gym class for the last three weeks, lifting and jumping and suffering even more.
Why, yes, I have cut down on eating.
Why, no, I have not lost any weight.
Why, yes, I have started to think about death a lot lately.

By the way, some guy from the army called me yesterday to try to get me to enlist, but when I told him my weight, he told me I was too fat, and I should EXERCISE and lose twenty pounds.

Ha ha! I'll get right on it!!!!

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted October 15th, 2012 in General

Hey, so I ran a 5K last Saturday.

I can't believe I've come so far. It's been 63 days of running, and my belly still looks the exact same, but I run 2 miles a day, and I start running as fast as I can for the last .2 miles, which I increase weekly.

Other things are still bad though. I have to crap really bad in the middle of runs, usually for no reason, and now I'm starting to get random spiky-pains in my dick. I guess it'll just pass, though...?

I haven't been drinking soda as much. It's depressing, but at least it's healthy, I guess...?

Whatever. The idea was that I'd start seeing fat improvement at three months. Just three more weeks...

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 29th, 2012 in General

At 9/26/12 11:15 AM, Amaranthus wrote: Stop bumping this thread, OP.

Uh...yeah. I'm updating. I wrote in the first post that I would be updating on the situation.

So as I was running today, some girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to join the Army, just because she saw me running. I guess she didn't see my massive fat.

I'm starting 2.5 Monday. I think I'll just combine the 1 and 1.5 run routes.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 25th, 2012 in General

So.

I actually decided to time myself, and I got 31 minutes for 2 miles.

I have work and studying to do, so I have to put a limit at 35 minutes. This means that 2.5 miles a day is probably going to end up being the maximum, unless I ever get faster.

It's not like I'm really losing any weight. Maybe I'll just save up for a liposuction. If I get more free time, I can start upping the miles again, and start getting (5 miles=)$11.5 a day. How much is a liposuction, anyway?

(BTW, no matter how much it is, I'm still gonna wait for the three month period to pass before I really start considering anything.)

(6 more weeks...)

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 20th, 2012 in General

So, my legs look a little better, but I'm still fat.

It's been over 5 weeks now, but someone said earlier that I should start to see results at around 3 months, so I'll equate that to 12 weeks. I guess 7 more weeks should be good...

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 18th, 2012 in General

My God, I think I had a religious experience today.

So, because of a mistake with directions yesterday, I only ran 1.5 miles. Today, I actually ran the 2 miles.

To stave off boredom, I decided to try something new. I started reciting prime numbers, and, I was soon distracted from the now minor pain of running.

And suddenly I was home. The whole run was extremely easy. I couldn't believe it.

I just had the easiest run I've ever had, and it was TWO MILES.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 16th, 2012 in General

At 9/16/12 03:24 PM, AnonymousOfCali wrote: you probably still eat shitty foods. either that or you gained muscle on your legs. the reason it feels so bad for you is because you are a giant lardass sack of shit, running actually feels great for people who can do it for more than 20 seconds without stopping.

...So you're saying you think I can run 1.5 miles in twenty seconds? Thanks, bud.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 16th, 2012 in General

Small Update....

Since I'm feeling nothing instead of intense pain when running, I'm going to start doing 2 miles a day, starting tomorrow.

Here are some Pros and Cons that I've discovered from exercising after 33 days:

Pros:
+It's slightly easier to get to sleep
+I'm able to run a little bit faster.

Cons:
-I have to crap more. Like four times a day instead of once. It's getting really annoying, especially when I suddenly need to go right in the middle of class.
-My legs ache all the time. Constantly. It's not that bad, and it doesn't really affect my run, though.
-I don't want to drink soda as much. Usually I'd have around 5 bottles a week, now it's more like 2.

BTW, everyone who's telling me not to run when fat:

I looked this up, and this whole thing with breaking my legs or whatever is a myth. Hopefully you're not the same people who don't read my posts.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 5th, 2012 in General

So, small update.

I'm now running 1.5 miles a day for $7.50. I would feel guilty about the amount, but I'm saving half of my profits for college (my parents are refusing to help directly.)

My legs ache all the time now, but the actual runs don't hurt as much. Oh, and after 24 days of running, I've finally lost four pounds! Yes, I am now a slim 236.

At this rate, it will take around ~516 days of running to reach a nice weight of 150. Sadly, I only have about a year of this left. Oh well.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted September 1st, 2012 in General

At 8/31/12 02:48 PM, DelornificatioN wrote: OP is full of shit. I've seen your type before in the gym. You people would do anything to avoid the truth about yourselves and what it takes to achieve anything. I'd help you if you'd listen, but I know you won't.

I've been playing the iron game for long enough to know a quitter when I see one. Training is paying dues, and you don't feel you owe anything.

I already said I wouldn't be quitting because of the money. If I wasn't getting money? Yeah, I wouldn't be running.

Thanks for not reading, and then saying that I don't read.

And thanks to everyone giving advice. I'm not ignoring you.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted August 31st, 2012 in General

At 8/28/12 03:14 PM, Travis wrote: Muscle weighs more than fat.

If you gain muscle then you will gain more weight.

You can't just run one mile a day and expect results.

You need a cool down. Run that mile and then walk a half or a full lap after that for a cool down.

When you get home, don't stuff your face. Drink some water, take a shower. After that, have a HEALTHY and BALANCED meal. A Caesar Salad for example, would be great for you.

Lol at people who think they will be healthier by running a mile, but still living a shit lifestyle.

And what would doing a "Cool Down" do for me?

BTW, my parents just offered to up the money if I run 1.5 miles. GodDAMN I hate myself. I'm actually going to do it.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted August 28th, 2012 in General

At 8/27/12 04:41 PM, saqwert wrote:
That's just bullshit too. If you want to lose weight all you need to do is eat less calories than you expend.

And that's the point where it's too fucking much. In order to get "proper" exercise:

1. Suffer great pains daily
2. Eat little amounts of crappy food
3. Drink little amounts of water

And even if I do all this, it's gonna take six months to lose maybe ten pounds. I don't even care if I die early, this is not fucking worth it. You're supposed to enjoy life. If I had to do this every day, life would just not be worth it. Once this money deal's over, I'm never doing this again.

Response to: An Honest Exercise Log Posted August 27th, 2012 in General

At 8/27/12 03:28 PM, Gramiscus wrote: Yeah, you should run more than a mile to lose weight. You need to get your heart beating for a minimum of 20 minutes in one go to get anything out of it. If you keep at it, you'll be able to run further.

Since you're fat, you shouldn't run. You'll hurt your knees in the long term and have chronic leg problems. It is painful to get out of bed or get up from sitting, which will make you want to move even less.

You should swim, or do low-impact exercises like bike riding.

also, stop whining. pussy.

I can barely breathe by the time I get home. I think I would collapse if I ran two miles. And I already ride bikes.

An Honest Exercise Log Posted August 27th, 2012 in General

You know what? Exercise sucks balls. It's goddamn awful, and I'm here to tell people who don't exercise on purpose the honest truth about it.

My Story:

I hate exercising, because it's painful and boring. Up until two weeks ago, I completely avoided it, except for physical jobs (my family works with woodwork). Because of this, I am 240 pounds, and 17. What a fatass, right? I really don't care, yeah, I'm a fatass. It doesn't matter to me. Anyway, two weeks ago, my parents offered me $5 a day to run one mile every day. Now, the only thing that outweighs (heh, get it) my laziness is my greed. I agreed, and I have been running one mile a day for the past two weeks, along with whatever other jobs I've had to do.

How It's Been:

People will tell you that exercise is "fun", and that it "feels good". If that was true, everybody would do it. But people don't, because it's a FUCKING LIE. Even before I begin my run every day, I feel that horrible dread coming...I am about to feel and immense pain. Every day, I feel the same when I run: like death. I feel no better every day, it just feels the same, or worse. When I get done, I become irritated and angry. When some ass asks how I felt when I get back, I ignore them...my head feels like it's about to explode. (Oh yeah, people say exercise is good for stress: HA HA HOLY SHIT THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL).

Progress with Weight:

Progress? What progress? Despite drinking mostly water, and a soda one day the entire week, my weight and appearance is the exact same-no, scratch that. I've GAINED TWO POUNDS from when I started. That's right, two weeks of running, and I'm now 242 pounds. As for my outward appearance, I look no different. I am still fat.

Conclusion: (Read this if you don't want to read the rest)

Exercise is a waste of time. It only causes pain, and after two weeks of it, I have not lost any weight. I am going to continue this regiment until I leave for college, so if anything changes (If I get worse, or better) I will tell you. I'm sure a bunch of people are going to come in here calling me a liar, but all of this is honestly true. It seems that there is a point where you can become too fat...and can't recover from it.

Just woke up...a few questions... Posted June 24th, 2012 in General

I just woke up, and I really need some questions answered:

1. How did One Piece end?
2. Was there ever a M-rated Mario game?

tia

Fetish Question Posted April 13th, 2012 in General

What's it called when you have a fetish for things eating other things? Like, you get off to it? Any help? I'm really "bored", if you know what I mean.

Funny Ponies Fact Posted March 25th, 2012 in General

If you rearrange ponies it spells an inappropriate word!

Response to: Life decision...help me out Posted February 20th, 2012 in General

I'm leaving for the party now. What happens happens. I'm glad some of you understand.

Response to: Life decision...help me out Posted February 20th, 2012 in General

At 9 minutes ago, MultiCanimefan wrote:

Oh so that's how you justify it being a rapist? I'm glad you're own pleasure trumps violating her while drunk.

It's not about pleasure. Every human being must reproduce. I am not going to be left out because of snobby women.

Response to: Life decision...help me out Posted February 20th, 2012 in General

At 15 hours ago, BrockManson wrote: So let me get this straight - you're so unpopular that the only way you'll get to go to this kid's party is via an exchange student's +1?

Up until that point I thought that's a shame, no-one should be left out like that...that is until you continued on to say you were weighing up whether to rape a girl or not.

I say Jonas should go on his own and you stay at home.

Why don't you tell him that? He's been practically fighting people just to allow me to come. I'd like to see you take him. And everyone calling me a rapist: shut up. You don't know what it's like to be eternally ignored. Go back to your jock sports and suck a football. I'm going to get laid.

Response to: Life decision...help me out Posted February 20th, 2012 in General

At 1 hour ago, Braiton wrote: No offense but you sound like a potential rapist.

It's not rape, I'm not knocking her out. I'm just gonna get her to say yes with a few drinks. We'll both be drunk. It's not that big of a deal.

Life decision...help me out Posted February 20th, 2012 in General

The story is pretty simple. My exchange student Jonas has been invited to a huge party hosted by the most popular guy in school. Jonas is going to bring me along, and ignore any protests that may or may not happen at the party. Thing is, I've never been to a real party, ever. I'm a high school junior, and the last time I went to a party of someone my own age was when I was six. So here's the deal:

There is going to be alcohol at this party. Should I try to "convince" a girl with alcohol to have sex with me? I am never going to get this chance again, and no one will ever love me, so this is it. Should I go through with this? Is it possible I could give her too much alcohol? How much alcohol would be accurate? The party is tomorrow at 8:00, so I need answers fast. Thanks.

Internet Necromancy -- help others Posted February 4th, 2012 in General

The internet is old enough now that there are times when, even if I google a lot or use archive.org, I can't find some piece of junk I used to love.

For instance, I'm looking for a really stupid old mp3 that was an X-Files techno remix. I don't remember much from it, except that at one point the "composer" cut together audio from scully saying: "MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.) MULDER! MULDER! (We are not alone.)" If anyone has this mp3, I'd love a copy.

What other random internet crap have you lost? It's gotta be out there somewhere. I'll try to help locate stuff too, although the most obscure thing I have is TAOC TEH WODNER DOUGH's noonecouldgetin.mp3 -- which everyone here probably has.

Civil War code needs breaking Posted February 3rd, 2012 in General

A friend of mine is a PhD student in history at UC Berkeley and came across a Civil War diary with encrypted entries. She made a blog here asking for help in decoding the entries and identifying the cipher type: https://diarycodebreak.wordpress.com/

Code breaking and Civil War diaries both seem right up BBS' alley - anyone want to take a stab at the code? Yes, I know the pictures are relatively small and cropped, so I've asked if she'd upload full-page quality scans, but until she gets around to that, the challenge is just that much greater! I will update with additional details and better scans if and when they become available.

There seems to be some mix of mathematical symbols and Greek letters.

Crazies in Elementary School Posted February 2nd, 2012 in General

This is a thread where people share stories about the batshit insane kids they went to elementary school with.

In kindergarten, this irritating little girl who was always in trouble decided it'd be a good idea to get a giant mouthful of water from the fountain and spit it all down the teacher's back. She tried to claim she'd just thrown up or something dumb like that.

There was also this kid in 5th grade named David who decided a younger kid was being a douche and proceeded to drag him around by his ear for the entirety of recess one day. I think he went away for a few days after that. We also did this week-long field trip at a camp and David spent most of the week singing the semi-annoying "ow, owoooo" part from this Our Lady Peace song.

Have at it!