Posts by NEWTANKER

Response to: Jesus and the Cross Posted March 28th, 2012 in General

At 3/28/12 06:06 PM, Rapacity wrote: If Jesus was the Son of God, why didn't he escape from the cross just before he died, thus allowing him to suffer crucifixion but not his bodily death?

Any opinions on this, it seems odd is all.

Ummm.........Jesus was the son of God. God told him he needed to die to save humanity(don't really understand it myself) Jesus accepted it freely, and prooved himself to the people by ressurrecting and conveying a message to an apostle(I believe John, but I'm unsure)of the end of the world, also to give Isrealites the Holy Spirit, and begin Christianity.

Response to: Randy Solem, 1975-2012 Posted March 21st, 2012 in NG News

RIP to a guy who created many great sprite flashes.

Response to: Titans, Gods and Heracles Posted March 9th, 2012 in General

And Gaia and Cronos weren't gods, they were Titans who birthed the gods. Oceanus and Uranus were titans, along with Prometheus.

And God of War rules

Response to: Titans, Gods and Heracles Posted March 9th, 2012 in General

Greek Myth is a soap opera with supernatural beings

Response to: Best Conspiracy Theory? Posted March 8th, 2012 in General

At 5 hours ago, Tobi wrote: So after reading a little bit about David Icke, I've been kind of interested in Conspiracy theories. not because I agree with them by any means, because most of them are absolute lunacy. But that's why I love them. Do you guys know any conspiracy theorists who write well-thought out, unrealistic, or just downright funny theories?

The illuminati killed Tupac

The Halocaust was a lie to get money and movies

Hitler's alive

Tupac's alive

There's a never ending war between Assassins and Templars for the pieces of Eden(Assassin's Creed :3)

Jimmy cracked corn :0

Obama's a Muslim not born in this country

2012(uh-oh)

Response to: Getting a Priest or Nun to hate you Posted March 8th, 2012 in General

At 2 hours ago, Wegra wrote: Full Topic:

How do you get a Priest and/or a Nun to hate you?

Lets keep it creative folks :3

Have a threesome in their bed when the priest/nun comes home :3

Response to: When is it Not Okay to Laugh? Posted March 8th, 2012 in General

At 2 hours ago, Rapacity wrote: When do you noot laugh at a joke, say about terrorism, abortion, etc. Is there a line in the sand, a line which can be crossed into the anti-laugh? By the anti-laugh I mean a joke which disproportionately attacks others.

At what point do you consider a joke not funny? Are all jokes harmless owing to the fact that they attempt to bring light to situations of difficulty?

Mass rascism jokes...
Jokes involving an event causing death, one-infinite
If a person is an emo(not sure about this in opinion)
Other things in this general direction

Response to: Newt Gingrich is a fool. Posted March 7th, 2012 in Politics

At 2 weeks ago, streetbob wrote: Friday afternoon I found out that Newt was going to give a speech at a local college, ORU, in my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. The speech was going to take place today at two, so I made plans and got ready.

When I arrived, I walked into the Mabee center and took a seat. I was impressed by the number of people who were there, it was like a women's basketball game, but more interesting. First, the president of the college republicans spoke, then the head of Oklahoma's Republicans party or something, then finally Newt himself came out and began to give his speech.

At first he told a few jokes, some were even funny, and then he got on to the bullshit. It didn't take him five minutes to blame everything on Obama and his administration, even stuff like gas prices, which anyone with ANY sense knows that oil COMPANIES control the prices, not any form of government. Then, he gave HIMSELF credit for things that happened while he was speaker of the house. Such as unemployment being 4% and the federal Reserve being stable for four years, none of which is solely his doing. He even contradicted himself once, when he spoke about Israel not having the right to exist, then bitching about Obama trying to cut money going to Israel. Then he said something about tracking illegal aliens using FedEx. All in all, I hope he drops out of the race.

P.S. I'm not a Democrat or Republican, I'm an Independent.

You're right to be an independant, Democrats bend over when ever republicans tell them to, and Republicans genrally fuck everything up. Think about that part, Democrats give into Republican demands without batting an eyelash and Repblicans make total fucking douchebags of themselves live. Remember Rick Perry, that old dude(I think that was Ron Paul, but idk), Backhman, Palin(oh God -.-), Bush&Chenney(-_-), Herman Cain, Limbaugh(He's the slut), and let's not forget that Neo-Nazi who said that the Halocaust was a lie(yeah, that's fucking someone we need as a mayor or whatever. And don't forget Newt...And bundle all Republicans together+fox, they blame Obama and the Democrats for shit out of their control, like gas prices, more of a government/mayoral issue.

Response to: Adulthood is in sight Posted March 7th, 2012 in General

Here's shit you should learn:
"[to a bikini girl who has slapped him] BITCH! LESBIAN!"
"I didn't come to the United States to break my fucking back."
"Who the fuck you calling a spick, mang? You white piece of bread. Get outta the way of the television."
"Is this it? That's what it's all about, Manny? Eating, drinking, fucking, sucking? Snorting? Then what? You're 50. You got a bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra. They got hair on them. You got a liver, they got spots on it, and you're eating this fuckin' shit, looking like these rich fucking mummies in here... Look at that. A junkie. I got a fuckin' junkie for a wife. She don't eat nothing. Sleeps all day with them black shades on. Wakes up with a Quaalude, and who won't fuck me 'cause she's in a coma. I can't even have a kid with her, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fuckin' little baby with her!"
"Here pelican, pelican, pelican... "
"This is paradise, I'm tellin' ya. This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked."
"Immigration Officer #1: What about homosexuality, Tony? You like men, huh? You like to dress up like a woman?
Tony Montana: What the fuck is wrong with this guy, man? He kidding me or what?
Immigration Officer #2: Just answer the questions, Tony!
Tony Montana: Okay. No. Okay? Fuck no! "
"You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked!"
"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."
"What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!"

Also watch Scarface

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086250/quotes
Crediting the website :)

Response to: Adulthood is in sight Posted March 7th, 2012 in General

Smoke, Drink, drive(not neccessarily in that order)
Watch Project X
Have sex with a 16-17 year old
eat some pot brownies
give "special" brownies to a teacher ;) (come on, you know you want to)
Dougie

Response to: Know what I hate!!! Posted March 6th, 2012 in General

At 4 hours ago, dlxrevolution wrote: Why is it that all the little kids can eat all the carrots they want, but as soon as the Rabbit tries to get him some Trix, they say "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!" This is an OUTRAGE! This is obviously unfair the rabbit and it needs to be taken care of before it gets seriously uncontrollable!

It's like this, you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want milk...The world blows up.
You give a rabbit trix, it'll want some more. You give a rabbit more, it drinks the milk. When it drinks the milk, it becomes lactose intolerant and dies. When it dies, a rabbit army kills all farmers and cows. When all farmers and cows are dead, they'll ride tanks into the White House. When there are tanks in the White House, the rabbits take over. When the rabbits take over, Sarah Palin becomes their leader(rabbits are DIEHARD tea party extremist republicans)When Sarah Palin becomes their leader, she starts World War III. When she starts WWIII, nuclear rockets blow up the earth.
DON'T GIVE RABBITS YOUR TRIX!!!

Response to: The Over-Usage of "Awkward" Posted February 22nd, 2012 in General

I wanna hear someone say "That awkward moment when you shit your pants in public and then the bully pulls them down while you are wearing white underwear." That's awkward, not that other bullshit.

Response to: your favorite game villian and why Posted February 18th, 2012 in Video Games

Zeus from God of War II & III
He's bad-ass and King of Olympus. Hardest enemy to kill with his clones, and the very elusive, plotting, final boss you want to kill for stabbbing you in God of War II.

Response to: The Two-Word Story Posted October 22nd, 2011 in Writing

A man stepped out onto his lawn, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from his rectum while stalking stock prices; Gore then immediately engaged in crying for five years. Once he calmed down, there was a soothing roar from the bear, he roared, "Pineapples suck" to which the Korean committed Hara-kiri but failed, instead wounding Al Gore's young niece. So he pulled an anvil out, strapping it on.

Al Gore, weighed down, let the Korean stick a curtain up his neighbor's lamp shade. Suddenly, a gigantic teacup crashed onto Tom's home and a massive Spanish retard! The shards ripped a hole into China. A Chinese astrology monkey strapped on his suspenders and waltzed 500 sheep into a gigantic apple that had done Al a huge favor by spraying salt down his urethra. The trouble was that 2 cute immigrants had been puking rainbows. Hippies descended from rainbows to bring him sexy fish and shallow lemons. Al refused to make impregnated gnomes beg for kinky sex. He instead gave it chlamydia and a dick bun of extreme pleasure. Meanwhile, at Batman's house... Batman raped Al Gore's niece as Bangkok relocated into Robin's smelly underpants.

Due to unforeseen consequences all of City 17 residents' streetlights massively exploded and killed seven Mongoloids. Gordon Freeman masturbated furiously with sandpaper, unaware of his dicklessness effecting the entire human being over at Walmart's marijuana parade. So large, yet so insignificant was the marijuana's sea level. Gordon came on Alyx's sweaty and surprisingly swollen clitoris. "Fuck!" Exclaimed Gordon, because preggers stole his bike. So, Say Bike, the Indian chopper rider named Rig. Yet, nothing had happened. Naming Rig Fella Tio wasn't his telephone's breakdown but stabbing Chris Hansen pleased predators. Pedophiles rejoiced as Gary Brolsma randomly stopped typing love letters to his man-bitch called Steve.

"Who farted?", monotoned Mr. Moseby, as scriptures revealed the startling drop-bear plans tried to kill the foreigners doing absolutely nothing. "WHY MUST FRENCH PEOPLE DO NOTHING?!" Napoleon appeared bewildered and disgusted by his tortoise's Ichigo impression and proceeded to blow Charlie Sheen's huge, hot bloody wound. "Son of dicks!" cried Torterra realizing he cut his dick off depressingly. The stench of Chuck throwing monkey hairs into acid caused a violent stomach ulser in Electric Toothbrush, a woman who doesn't frequently stab gay zombie penicorns but decided to do horrible yoga in a kitchen cabinet. Babies were freaked, but they recovered as the condoms took over the world for Stalin, Josef Stalin. Now only Tom Fulp could 'enter' Sarah Palin's moist, warm microwave dick. Cooking babies and savory fried chicken as Mcain slapped hoes, Palin bit Charlie's knob, the door made of Cheetos and cheap plastic blow-up dolls and than danced wildly on Russia's homeless women.

"Hobos attacked her vagina" screamed Obama as he ran from his wife who was, silver dildo in hand, a bit horny of obsessive tickling. Unwarranted investigation and careful smuggling caused the Taliban to reassess penguin efficiency.

Then Dr. Fetus, along with his erect golf club, proceeded to go out to kill Michael Jackson and regurgitate old copies of naked fulp photos and then boil their nut-sack in oil so the Earth can never rotate around the giant package of crying babies causing the horrible apocalypse of bunnies and convenient chocolate-covered World War Seventeen. Unexpectedly, Phil Collins sucked Dick Van Dyke's Dirty Dishes. Weird monkeys were eating atop those crazy, zany, incarborated incubation pancakes which turd people didn't know how push pussy cats were diving from planes.

"9/11 is a big conspiracy", said Al Gore, while he PlatinumFalcon sucks Gordon Rhamsey's spatula with cum stained stick while he took a bath in Glenn Beck's mouth. The next day a toenail escaped prison and destroyed a whole galaxy with an erect tomato. Now our beloved hero is going home, with anal lube securely locked in a queef's soft embrace. When he opened the door of his home he saw 3,908 Explosions of crap and went upstairs. Who is this masked man? He gives a rock to Obama and says: "Your mother". How crass, I quipped. Surprise Buttsex destroyed the United States of America. Just then a giant non-American avocado filled the doorway half full of cat soiled litter, then left. It headed to Cuntiva IIV while violating my ass, which created several contagious anal zombies. They vigorously started masturbating and killing.

"Why must Paris Hilton continue to date shitty mexican robots?" Obama rhetorically answered,

"Chimps cause the infamous swelling of Jews' small yet nubile formica on Tuesdays. But only when they throw shit at the sleeping pandas and Taiwanese teenage brats."

"What does a robot eat for its birthday?" asked Al. Obama cringed yet stared shitting a midget because adolf hitler's butt was crawling with Jewish syphilis. And suddenly lesbians appeared!
"Fire the cannons, bitches!"
Adolf played with his pale wrinkly affidavit as Asian businessmen filed reports on Zen-Buddhism.
"You are a moron." said Bob, right after a vigorous morning swim in a shark-filled Iranian bank that's frozen.

"Whatever man I'm just keepin' it realer than a cake in a dirty hospital."

Bob smirked. "Silly lady, tricks are for my sock puppets!"

With diabetes, comes great ass cancer and cake filled with human hands and responsibility.

"Yo, Bobby," spurted an Asian businessman, "I gotta shit now."

Feces exploded while he reminisced about last night, and its stench lingered for hours. Clogged toilet made him only madder. The plunger was stuck tightly inside Al's round gauged ear. Hundreds of flies were exploding with pus-filled boners shooting democratic jews. The flies were unaware that they were really desperate for some attention. He wiped Andrew Jackson with the toilet paper soaked in hot water.

Meanwhile, in Austria, there were mutants, employed by Rush Limbaugh, Hitler's favourite Jewish gentile. Hitler became a god, then died.

Hitler banged Martha Stewart without protection in hell. "But they bumped uglies while bursting cum bubbles."

"Oh really?"
"Yeah really."
"Oh, okay."

The arguing lovers continued until they ran out of wine and cheap pastry brushes. Then the pulsing, veiny MIDGET EXPLODED into pasty bone pudding.

Then Satan contemplated eternity to dougie on the silver goat. Limbaugh incantated the fresh new virgins. But suddenly, Jesus sprung and hugged his favorite kitten named Aloha Hawaii who wasn't on drugs, except methaheroin that always made walking very difficult.

"Hey!" said Mary Juana, while jumping over a happy cow-poo. "Why ain't drugs leagl, because of Nixon and his long hard hate manifesto?"

Suddenly, dinosaurs and muskrats emerged from Hitler's ass

Response to: The Two-Word Story Posted October 11th, 2011 in Writing