Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I would stab a bowl of Cheerios.

With a spoon.

So, you've actually talked to a girl? In real life?

You've accomplished more than any of us already, with just that.

At 11/7/08 06:57 PM, B4gle wrote: Does anyone know if I can obtain a gun somehow?

Legally or illegally? I'm pretty sure your local gang will supply you with illegal firearms.

If they don't kill you. After raping you. With your gun.

At 11/7/08 08:14 PM, Killing-joke wrote:

At 11/7/08 08:12 PM, NewbleHeimer wrote: The barrel contains the desecrated remains of the life I once had; torn to shreds, burnt, and pissed on.

bleak

No, quite funny. Because nothing is better than a miserable fatass like me.

At 11/7/08 08:15 PM, Funny-Man wrote: It's the kind of weekend where a person doesn't do anything,

That sounds rather like my life. All 16 years of it, thus far.

At least he didn't whip it out and shoot him with his cock.

The barrel contains the desecrated remains of the life I once had; torn to shreds, burnt, and pissed on.

Ooh, please.

Every last one of us has slaughtered a. . . well. . . you win.

At 11/7/08 03:49 PM, ClickToPlay wrote:

How about you Newgrounds?

Some retarded little thing that would classify me as either:
A) Obsessive Compulsive;
or
B) Retarded.

At 11/6/08 07:08 PM, mohe3439 wrote: I am really ticked off because I really hate that people are against gay marriage.

Honestly, nobody cares. Whining on an internet forum to a bunch of kiddies isn't going to re-legalize gay marriage in California; it's not going to persuade other states to legalize it, either.

I liked Pretty Woman by Rush orbison.

I mean, Rush.

I would call for a press conference and kill a few secret service men on live, nationally broadcast television.

Let them do it their selves.

Just have it so the doctors won't intervene.

They can be just a bit excessive.

I'm trying not to sound like a gigantic faggot, but I prefer normal sized breasts.

At 11/4/08 08:07 PM, ChickenGod wrote: well, My name is TJ, and i got fired for eating some guys fries that i served him...

Did you cry?

I am one, and being forced to go to school with these fucks is scary.

No, actually; they're not that bad.
They're just a bit annoying. Also, everything's a lot more sex oriented than it once was.

At 11/4/08 07:57 PM, dkfan123 wrote: we waited in line for 2 hours at olive garden then got our food free

I would not wait for 2 hours for some damn food.

I've not had any really weird experiences at fast food restaurants.

Considering I'll probably get a job in one next year I'll soon be able to change that.

At 11/4/08 07:44 PM, pigzlord wrote: I really don't give a shit as long as your not obnoxious and conceited like most of them.

Is it just me or does every fat bitch obtain the ability to cackle in a way that makes everyone cringe?

Is there a communist party anymore?

At 11/4/08 05:33 PM, MonkeyV wrote: Oh, come on.
That actually sounds pretty neat.

might try it some time.

It actually does. My luck I wouldn't find my way back until 3 days later, when I return stark naked and sobbing.

At 11/4/08 05:35 PM, megakill wrote: nah dude just kill yourself now. no use prolonging the inevitable.
you'll never be happy again, its like me learning to spell, its just not gonna happen

I said I'm depressed not retarded. Wasting life is just terrible.

At 11/4/08 05:29 PM, MrVideogame wrote:

To the OP: to cheer you up at least its only fear keeping you from talking to people. That you can fix with medical or self help (depending on what you have, it could be anxiety or depression or both). I find it hard to talk to people because I just generally don't like them. Its easier on here because you can filter out the idiots. :3

I once made an attempt to talk to someone anonymously via aim. I knew them in real life, but they did not know it was me talking to them.

I could barely even do that.

At 11/4/08 05:28 PM, Somepurson wrote:

At 11/4/08 05:15 PM, EviLDoG wrote: Heat up a banana skin in a microwave the fuck it, but i can't actually see how fucking a microwave works.

Well, if you have a REALLY fat dick.

Or if you have a REALLY fat cunt. It would be painful, but I'm sure someone has thought of jamming a microwave inside their cooter.

At 11/4/08 05:25 PM, atompluspackage wrote: Do you have anxiety? Do you feel yourself constantly worrying about trivial things such as social events? Do you have an "imaginary audience" everywhere you go?

or do you just feel like a zombie with no drive to talk to another human being?

Depressed for years, beat that shit into submission. Here to help

The former, for the most part.

Some times it seems like slightly the latter.

At 11/4/08 05:17 PM, PinballWizard976 wrote: Indeed. Bush was one craaaazy dude...

I think with that, bush secured the Chinese vote.

At 11/4/08 05:18 PM, EviLDoG wrote: I like him.

Can't wait for Obama to be assassinated though.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i went there. Seriously though, how many nutters are there in america, its bound to happen.

This really is a funny election. One candidate is robbing the casket, and the other is riling up Klansmen. I can foresee a funny outcome.

And possibly all black people in America bitching at white people.

At 11/4/08 04:47 PM, Smokinggun64 wrote: You sound alot like Holden Caulfiled. Its just angst, get over it and it will be fine.

Not entirely.

I'm too much of a pussy to talk to anyone. I've always been this way, and it's just getting worse. It's not angst. Or not entirely.

At 11/4/08 04:38 PM, Chavic wrote: I'm pretty sure 5 3/4 inches is average.

Then I'm 3 below average. . .

Ooh well. I don't really give a damn.

Recently I've just been very depressed. I feel as if everything is completely without reason. I feel that there is no point in waking up in the morning. I find myself completely unable to initiate or carry out a conversation with another living person. I have trouble doing so online if it's someone I know from real life. I'm thoroughly convinced that not a person on this planet would want to associate with me, anyways. I've pretty much lost faith in humanity.

I could bore you with the details, but I've got a much simpler solution for those who lack attention spans:

Should I give up on myself and humanity and live on top of some desolate mountain in a shitty little wooden shack 1,000 miles away from another living person?

I love it. You're all so optimistic.

Puberty has yet to claim another person's happiness and tear your ambition to shreds.

Personally, I doubt I'll ever do much above minimum wage. I don't expect it.

My usual password is 16 characters of length; I had no problem acclimating myself to this minor, insignificant difference.

Make a new password.

Can't go wrong with the iPod.