Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

If the sun ever does die, I demand that within 3 hours our governments destroy all civilization with nuclear firearms.

I would like the ability to spawn comfy arm, computer, and lawn chairs; I would also like to be able to repair old chairs, and change colour of any chair I so please.

This power would please me.

My Grandfather put nuts in dog shit, wrapped it up in a candy wrapper, and tricked my Uncle Bob into eating it.

Beat that!

To this day, Bob will not touch a Payday.

Your friend's initial reaction to the situation was pretty bad; but the guy's reaction to his was ridiculous. It's a fucking finger. It doesn't mean you have to bash their skull in.

At 12/11/08 05:00 PM, DerekDoom wrote:

How would you look gay if you have a vagina like thing on your page?

Contrary to what /b/ believes, there actually are girls on the internet. Freaky, isn't it?

At 12/11/08 03:18 PM, FC-Thun-Fan wrote: I personally have no respect for anyone born after the 90s. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yes, but only because I have no respect for children. Once it's '15, (barring some cataclysmic event in '12, of course;) I will gradually start to have more and more respect until the last of them are 18. By 2025 everyone will be at least 15, which is the minimum age I would consider them people.

At 12/10/08 03:38 PM, rome-lherison wrote: and being emo is just gay now.

I thought it always was. . . ?

This wouldn't be the first time the police have shown up at my door asking for me because of something I did on the internet, so I'm opting to not speak on the subject.

Pretty interesting, nonetheless.

This is marvelous.

At 12/9/08 04:41 PM, Matt2k8 wrote: Oj? Orange juice?

I was hoping someone would make that joke, so I didn't have to.

No, I don't feel bad for the fucker.

I am very un-social. Whenever I do talk though, it's completely honest.

I have no social life. I hang out with you, on the internet.

At 12/9/08 04:15 PM, Jenou wrote: Question. Does banta claus wield a banstick or a bancandycane?

It is rumoured that he wields a bancock.

At 12/9/08 04:02 PM, KitsuneNoir wrote: How do I defrag?

OK, first you have to make sure nobody is home, right?

Then shout really loud "GO FASTER PLZ!"

That's my secret to making my windows 95 work as good as any of these new machines. Useless. All they need is some encouragement, and you bastards toss them out. . . you never even gave them a chance. :(

My first name would be Meikitata; my username would be Tokumeizutakurikukirinkushi. That's great.

Deep water, insects, heights. I fear many things. I am a pansy.

Always aim, sometimes music.

Mencia got canceled!??!?!?! YES!!!!!!!!!

The ability to make penises grow out of people's foreheads of all sizes. You get to choose flaccid or erect.

I either open my mouth and drool on my self, manage to stammer "hello," or say nothing at all.

At 12/7/08 12:31 PM, Strength wrote: so yeah that's my thread about shit.

Normally I'm a very cynical person, and I don't believe that; you're just being retarded.

Does she have a dick? If not, night with her.

If so: I demand $250 and a night with him.

At 12/7/08 11:42 AM, Idiot-Finder wrote:

Until you blow up with emotion.

A mild breakdown now-and-then is a better alternative to doing so at an extraordinarily inconvenient and inappropriate time. Srsly, this person is right.

At 12/6/08 05:10 AM, Smileyfaceman wrote:

At 12/6/08 04:53 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: does your dad use that computer?

No it's my computer. It's the fastest in the house so my bro uses it a lot.

If it's your computer don't let the shit use it. From your post you've implied that there are others in the house he can use for his wanking needs.

At 12/7/08 05:41 AM, SoulPiker wrote: OMG, I must alert PETA.

*Activates beacon*

OMG, I just alert the slaughter house.

*Activates Bacon.*

At 12/4/08 05:55 PM, BananaBreadMuffin wrote:

At 12/4/08 05:51 PM, knightsofthecircle wrote: Racecar is Racecar spelled backwards.

Able was I, ere I saw Elba.

A car, a man, a maraca.

At 12/7/08 11:08 AM, Dr-Nefarious wrote: Me and my friend Harold wanted to go to White Castle, and then? the White Castle was gone, and then we met freakshow, and then my dad got mad at me , and then fucking Neil Patrick Harris stole our car, and then we got to White Castle

And then?

I'm usually online for 1-3 hours daily; sometimes more, sometimes less.

I'm the weirdo in my school.

If any of you fucks go to Lamphere High School, you had better post, so I can see my name on the internet.

For a while now, I've been getting random pop-ups (albeit very infrequently) telling me that firefox needs to close. It's version 3, and probably not the most recent update. It's not much of an inconvenience, though; it's just a mild-nuisance.