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At 10/24/04 08:23 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote: Anyway this is kind of weird. I was going through a a stage of readin loads of terry pratchett books so i had a go at imitatiing his kind of comedic style of writing.

Despite the obvious editing problems, it is very interesting.
It is a little confusing at times, i can tell it was one of your earlier works simply because you lacked description and explaination at times. There were quite a few grammatical errors, however, no real serious comma spilces (which is good... i have a hard time with that).
I like how you told the story from nothing and a gave a sense of the place before getting into the choirboy character. You should really consider re-writing it (edited) and continue it further. It is a solid idea, because, to me, it seems very unique and original. Plus, the subtle humour is entertaining and keeps me interested and reading.
Overall, it is quite goodconcept/idea wise. However, it being an older peice, the punctuation, editing, and actual writing technique could be improved.
I enjoyed it though. I will post one of my chapters later this weeks, but for now i am curious about where you were planning on taking this story? Can you explain to me the broader view of what the story was/is going to be about?
Talk to ya later tonight, prolly.

Its a new day, Day 3 of the NG Critic Team. This is a reminder for all those interested in a position.
I need a review, link, and what position you are applying for by Oct 30 (this saturday).

Thanks again and i will see you all tonight.

I guess i am madd late, but hey, how do i join? Do i have to be personally accepted b ythe Godfather_Ghost? If so, i'll whack anybody escept my family... the mafia is my family. Or just tell me what i have to do Godfather to join.

Lates

I am the Creator of three clubs/groups/threads:

The Ng Critic Team
We help authors improve with their flash skills by giving comprehensive reviews to exploit the weaknesses and thrive o ntheir strengths. We also give Weekly Top 5s by reviewers, game/movie reviews (noon-flash), monthly top 5s as well as 5 genre reviews by our team members.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=188351

The Writer's Guild
A place where writer's post their works and receive contructive critisizm, praise and are criticed. It is also a place for writers to brainstorm concepts and/or ideas. As well as a place for animators to gain wirter's for their flash endeavors.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=188745

The Great White North
The newest canadian club to discuss canadian topics, films, tv shows, flash movies, events, news etc etc etc. If your canadian, join! If you are not, your stil lwelcome to joi nour discussion.
If you need good canadian comedy for a flash movie come to us, we are the experts. If you have a canadian experience you want to share, we want to hear it.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=188929

Now that i posted all that.. what else is to this club?

Join The Great White North
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=188929

The other two Canadian Clubs(that i kno of) seemed to have died off easy. So i am starting a new one. You do not have to be canadian to join the thread. If you think canadian humour is funny and would like to add it to your flash animation, discuss it here with us and we will throw out some ideas.
All canadians should join and discuss, well, canadian events, topics, flash movies... err... hockey's current 'position'. Whatever is canadian is on topic and part of this club.
So Canadians post a repy and show your canadian pride. Lets re-birth the other sad canadian clubs.
If you are already a member at another canadian club, then get everyone over here. If you started one of the other canadian clubs, then say so so ppl know your status. Everyone is equal here, and those who have created other canadian clubs are officially co-creators of this club. I want all the canadian clubs to join togethor and start a really busy, not-dead, thread. lol.

If you have visited canada(and are not canadian) and have a story you want to share, i wanna hear it.

I think we need to start a new Canadian Club Thread, with a point or something.
I am going to go do thatnow... maybe we can start something better up.

At 10/24/04 07:35 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote: Id really like to read some more of your work. If you mange to work out your notes and wrtie it out properly I can give you feedback on that but poetry really isnt my strong point.

Fair enough, i will scavange up an insert. It will either be from my current novel.. or a short story. Either way, i will get it all togethor sometime this week.

I am out for tonight, thanks for your support. I cannot wait to read your stuff. The Writer's Guild had made some real progress in only 2 days.

All those interested in a position, please post your request and review and link to the movie you reviewed by Sunday October 30... i have decided to make that the deadline for request a position and then i will post my decision by the 31.
If for some reason we have not enough candidates by that time i maye decide to extend the deadline or jus ttake up the remaining roles myself until other joi nthe NG Critic Team

Put NG Critic Review at the top of your reviews if you are a member. THis will both showcase our team as wel las gain us more respect and authority in reviewing on NG. This helps everyone, exspecially the authors who we should all support. Supporting one another is what NG is about (seeing that the flash is good lol).

I am currently re-vamping the program so if you would like the NG Critic Program, still email me, it jus tmay take longer to get, because istill have some work to do on it.

I do not want anyone to worry, the newer version will most likey not change in size. If it does i will post its new size. However, i do not see it changing by much.

Thanks again, see you tommorrow.

In Fact i am naming my tribe Kronus
So i am Beowulf of Kronus

In cae anyone cared. lol.

Im out for the night, later guys.

At 10/24/04 01:39 PM, CoachDante wrote:

At 10/24/04 12:58 PM, Tankith wrote: Hey whats City of Zeroes about? Im Curious to hear.

It's a comic me an' my buddy Tom have been writing since about July, we've been doing comix for years, like our parody of the Osbournes, and we created a Canadian indy-press label...

Wow, you got some intriguing ideas. Have you made any flash movies yet? Or do you have an insert of your writing?

At 10/24/04 07:14 PM, Diet_V_Coke_Clock wrote: Yeah.Just make up a were wolf and join a tribe.Since we only have one you can make yor own.

I will be Beowulf, which you may all be familier with. I'l ldecide on a tribe later or i may just join the existing one.

At 10/24/04 07:07 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote: Im curious to see yourts aswell and to know what you think of mine.

All my short stories are all confused and joted down etc, but i do have these two poems that you can read.
The first is entitled Life-Like which portrays life in a series if metaphorical ways it is a Descriptive Poem.
The second is called Portrait and is a Sonetto (aka Partrachien Sonnet) If you are unsure wha tthat it is. It is similar to shakespearean poetry but is more strict and harder to write. There are man ything it mus have, but the main things are 10 beats per line and the obvious rhyme scheme.

Tell me what you think and critic them. If you enjoyed them and wanna see more, i would be more then happy to share them with you.

LIFE-LIKE
In the midst of change to spring
The petals unfold and tear;
Nature begins to sing
Bodies calm and still
First breath begins to fill
The sun pokes fun at the horizon
First light, burns first vision

When the waters flow
Darkness shows and moonlight grows
With every swallow
Courage fades and light decays
Drowning, purpose is made
Dismayed, you have your fears
But do your fears have you?

Life is like the runes, historic and old,
But frail with the ground always cold

Flowing images within a stream
A ripple, a rock; not all is at it seems
Time stills, a thrill, a nightmarish fiend
Your nose begins to bleed
Your heart begins to seize
Your life begins to need, satisfactory

The clouds above mold and shape
Imagination roars in late
The height, the light, and the beautiful sights
Dreams do conquer, but wishes only fight
Replenish your soul; replenish your mind
All in all, you’ll be pleased with what you find

Life is like the heart, working hard and fast,
But in the end, the benefits last

Fresh eyes in new blue skies
Look deep in embrace
As the mutual wind leaves a sigh
First kiss has a knowing taste
Clouds above pure and white
Daylight, you love the one
And the one loves you

Past the dawn and back to dusk
The sun wilts, and the sky begins to adjust
Waters cool to an evening chill
Day feels flush, time back to nil
The arms of trees rest alongside
The end, subtle, life before one’s eyes
Flowers turn-in until another season’s tide

Life in a line is hard to explain,
Even for a poets tongue
Right or wrong, happy or upset,
Life is God’s poem for love

Name one thing in life that does not involve love… Love is Life-Like, Love Life.

PORTRAIT
Look upon her beautiful face
Her dawn bright smile; contagious and warming
Her grasping presence and aura calming
Her deep lake eyes and capturing embrace
Her gorgeous curves, body, and flowing grace
Her song-like voice so gentle and soothing
Her light touch soft, but heavy and moving
Any one moment, still; enjoy her taste
An impression: kind, capturing and bold
Tightening chest, feeling of unrest, I-too
A focus: hazy, motionless, but told
A rising heat, a diving leap, I-flew
The meaning: heartfelt, loving, and controlled
An open mouth, but yet a sound, I-you

Painting Love… everyday.

An example may intrigue me

I Know im a bit late, but never too late for canadian pride.

Mind if i join?

At 10/24/04 06:44 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote:

At 10/24/04 06:39 PM, Myst_Williams wrote:

very nice. Ill dig through the crap on my pc and see if I can dig up some stuff that I wrote a while back.

Hey and thanks for putting that link i nyour sig. Your support means alot. Later this week we can look at each other writing. I am very curious to see some of your work.

Do you like poetry at all.. or just shorts?

Its funny how i was interested in joining this club and Snerd and Coke are already here.
Underworld i really liked. Very good. Van Helsing was very good but fell just short of my expectations when it came to the ending.
Underworld: Blood Enemy is coming out soon. I cannot wait.

So can i join?

Hey i am interested in this club...

My favourite film is Face Off Directed By, John Woo and my fav genre is actually Thriller not Action.
I wanna say the The MEaning Of Life By, Monty Python is up there too!

At 10/24/04 06:24 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote:

At 10/24/04 06:21 PM, Myst_Williams wrote:

Please do join, the more support the better.

cool. Do we have to wait for an animator to come along and request a storyline/script or dowe just post one when weve finished writing one?

Either or. It does not matter. If an animator requests your services and says they have an idea, then please go and work o nthat script or story that what we are all about.

However, if no animators are currently looking we can post our own ideas and discuss them togethor. Critic each other and give positive critisizm. And maybe an animator wil lsee you idea and want to discuss it further with you.

Later in the week i will posting some of my ideas. I just have not the time to gather all my thoughts and notes today.

If your looking for a discussion or critic on your writing, please feel free to post it.

P.S. I would like to not that any writing/concepts/ideas are welcome. That includes Poetry, script, short story, novelry etc.

Also, if we by chance we come up with an idea togethor as group and no one person can claim it as their own, i will make a request to any animator who wants to use it that the Writer's Guild gets posted in their credits and commentary as a BBS club so that more animators can see this and visit our thread to see everyones personal ideas and comments.

I am also currently working on my own flash that is coming along quite nicely, i will be giving credit to the Guild to help advertise our club so that others can visit and see our work. I hope you would all do the same. The more publicity and support the better for all of us.

I must say i am quite happy with the amount of posts and replys for only a couple days.

I am currently looking for five people to be designated jobs as apart of the NG Critic Team.

I will post weekly top 5. As well as the Monthly top 5 reviewed submissions.

The other positions i need are:
Weekly Review: Emotional
Weekly Review: Comedy
Weekly Review: Action or Suspense
Weekly Review: Game
Weekly Review: UnderDog

Your job is to simply pick the best movie under your topic that you reviewed and post it in the thread. The requirments are for you to post the title, the author, a link to its portal presence, your review and grade, as well as, any added comments.

For the Underdog selection, it must be a movie with an overal score lower than 3.00 that you feel was under rated. Since this position is the most difficult, i may end up taking it up myself.

Please post what position you are interested in, as well as, post a review you have done recently(does not have to be under the same category you are applying for) so that i can decide who would do the best job.

I will posting the positions and who received them October 31.

Thanks again for all your support.

At 10/24/04 06:13 PM, Frozen_Fox wrote: Im pretty good at writing stories and scripts and the like. You mind if I join and help out?

Please do join, the more support the better.

**************************************************************************

I have officially elected Snerd as my co-creator, because of his experience as well as the work he put forth for thr writing community on NG.

**FOR ALL TO READ**
We are looking for candidates for a third position as co-creator of the group in which we will make decisions togethor and mantain the thread togethor so that Snerd and myself do not have to be on all the time. I do work and school etc, so its hard.

If you are interested in this position, please post any ideas you have for the thread as well as why you want to be part of our 'Writer's Guild Council'.

Anyone interested will be considered.

Recruiting is important guys, we want writers and animators to join to start creating better flash with better stories.
Any style of writing or animating is welcome.

At 10/24/04 04:49 PM, Snerd wrote: I know what he's trying to do. I, too, had to explain this. He wants to make films, showcasing not only his writing talent but the writing talent of others. Making films is just the only way to meet a large audience and get your name out there. This is why clubs such as these are dependent on animators. Animators also get recognition because the audience will say something like, "Oh, -Joe-? Yeah. He did 'Hang 'em High'. He's great." Good films take more than a great writer. Without a great animator, the movie'll just suck. Answer your questions? I hope so. Oh and if that's not what this place is about that's what Writers Crew and the recently failed Writer's Den were about. They only failed because I neglected them. If you can team up with me and another guy we could take care of this place in shifts. That should make it last longer.

I fully agree with you. And you have some great ideas.
I do want to point out, that although i am a writer first, i also am an animator. I just have been practicing and havnt created anything that i thought, graphically, was good enough for 3.5 or higher for the Portal.
Yes, you need a good animator, but i do stress writing is important. You have to intrigue the viewer and grasp his interest in the first few minutes while mantaining an interesting plot until you reach an ehilerating and satisfying ending.
It takes two some might say.lol. I just hope that this thread will help both writer's and animators create even better flash's with a collaberation of skills.

Either way, i will continue to post almost daily to keep this thread as high up on the first page as i can. The more people see it, the more respect it will receive and the more members we will gain.

I like your shift idea and obviously you have more experience running a thread than i do. So i would like it if you elaberated on the topic a little more and be more specific.

If we can gain three Guild Leaders to mantain the place on a regular bases then ithink we will do fine, and with time, succeed in our common goals.

At 10/24/04 03:06 PM, Diet_V_Coke_Clock wrote: I do like reveiwing flash so ill join.I love hearing what the author say about my reviews .So sure i will join.

I am glad to hear you wanna join.
For only being up for two days, we have been progressing well. With a few more members we can start some real discussions.

Keep an eye out for my Weekly top 5 etc. If you have a flash movie you really enjoyed, post the link and your review here and al lthe members can take a look and comment on your review.

I would just like to say one last time, for those who are interested i nthe Rating Program i have created. It is only 50KB and is simple and effective and is the official trademark of the NG Critic Team. So far i have sent out only two, but i would like to send out more.
So contact me if you want to help authors improve their works and careers.

Thanks again for al lyour support.

At 10/24/04 01:09 PM, blazin_holy_knight wrote: Will, a good idea would be telling the flash users by making another thread, i think you might find this a good idea and might help you find more flash users that are scared from the word "writers", this meaning there flash users and were writes

I'd like to see first if we can get everyone togethor and discuss things as a group. If are spitting out really good ideas, flash users may come to us. If there were to be another thread, it would be to proud of a club. Flash animator clubs are almost every club. Unless i misunderstood what you meant?

At 10/24/04 01:21 PM, Snerd wrote: Yes. If you can get support the club will do fine. I think Writers Crew had 538 posts before I killed it (It was basically me posting and no one acknowledging). Thank you for letting me join. When we make films I can supply some actors if you'd like.

Well so far, i feel we are off to a good start. Its only day one and we got quite a few posts. So i think we are doing okay. And since both of us are serious enough to create these type of clubs, the two of us can run this place fine. I am glad to have your support and enthusiasm.

At 10/24/04 01:00 PM, Tankith wrote: I wanna Join.
Helping out my fellow flash makers is a good idea.

P.S. To Myst:

I watched the movies you suggested and read your reviews. Good job and very good choices. I enjoyed them all, although some of the movies did confuse me a little.

You again, enjoying my choices, again.
Thanks for your support. And did the porgram work well?

At 10/24/04 01:00 PM, Snerd wrote: It's been done. I know because I've done it... twice. So yeah, it's a good idea, but there's just not enough people to support it. But! I will join if you will have me.

Ya, well, i figure, if i post everyday with updates people will gradually see we are a busy club and gradually decide to join. I Hope. And of course your welcome. I did not realize this had been attempted before, but with enough effort i think we can gain some support.

Thanks for your input though.

To Tankith:
Thanks for your comments and support. I appreciate it. And i am glad you liked my choices, they are great underdogs that deserve top 50 spots for sure.

At 10/24/04 11:58 AM, ConspiracyTheory wrote:

At 10/24/04 11:26 AM, Myst_Williams wrote: If you are interested, click 'Contact Author' at the top of my posts and i will email you the program.

umm. no thank you. If I get any more large programs my computer will crash

Well it is not big, It is about 48KB lol and it is an .exe file obviously.
It has a very small file size and alot of potential for use on NG. It makes rating easier as well as help authors point out their weaknesses and strengths.

So think it over. It may come in handy.

*FOR THOSE WHO ARE CURIOUS*
The program is approx. 50KB... so it is a very small file size and it should run perfectly on most computers. The read me file is another 4KB if you are worried about file space etc.

At 10/24/04 11:26 AM, -Diddy- wrote: I do creative writing sometimes. Can I join?

Of course. Anyone who is involved with flash or literacy in any way can join. So Everyone on NG anyways. lol

If you want to discuss or post any of your ideas here or even post inserts of some of your writing. You are more than welcome to.
The members, including myself, will be more than happy to critic your work, make suggestions and discuss your writing. You may even have a flash animator approach you who wants to turn your writing into a movie.

So welcome to the Writer's Guild.