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Whether she deserved it or not, I could never bring myself to something like that.

Either on the grounds of the fear of killing her with my punch, or because I am just a push over who can't hit a girl - even with all the fights I have been in in my lifetime.

Oy, on many occasion... for the both of them...

Can I say, weekly? No, that would be a lie. Daily!

At 10/20/05 01:44 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Its in the writing forum and is easily accessed and read.

Oh, I see. Well, I am fine with it. Sounds like it could help. : )

I read somewhere something about the collab (aside from Coop being sick) and TheDoctor said he didnt oppose, what was that about?

At 10/17/05 07:28 AM, Alkador wrote: I wish you were my English teacher...my one has permanent PMS and doesn't tell me what I need to improve on and such.

I hate roundabout teachers like that.

I was looking for past corrected essays and found some obvious (after seeing the mistakes) awkward sentences...maybe this might give you an idea as to where I muck up...

I will take a look-see, but keep in mind I am no editor… so if I am not much help, I apologize.

Essay Formats:
Letter to the Editor:
"Always coming back home late from work, my children are bombarded with advirtisements promoting them to eat foods that have caused our nation to fall into the epidemic of obesity."

I think the confusion is in promoting them… because even though the reader understands what you mean, and it does make sense… it isn’t necessarily right. The advertisements aren’t promoting the children, but promoting to the children.

Analytical Essay:
"When Bertrande suggested the idea of Arnaud's [her husband] false identity to Martin's younger sister, she was shamed upon."

Hmm, I don’t really see what is wrong with this. Maybe someone else will point it out. Maybe some sub-clauses explaining a little better who is who might avoid any confusion, but I don’t find it awkward.

Anayltical Essay:
"Oedipus was not at full fault of his downfall; his parents and gods had also taken by some of the blame."

This one is quite confusing. It may be correct, but it is awkward because it is not clear. To start, Oedipus was not at fault of his own faults, or for his own faults… make sure that is clear, and then depending on your choice, the second half will be different, whereas had also taken by some makes little to no sense. Maybe had also taken some. You can’t necessarily be taken by blame (literally, anyway), maybe you meant taken aback – I am not sure.

Apart from all that, how have you been as of late?

Busy. University is hectic. A lot of reading, writing, and drawing; social life is hectic too, but fun as hell, so I cant really complain. How about you?

At 10/20/05 08:13 AM, FBIpolux wrote: Oh well, Myst. I guess my story will wait a bit.
If you ask why, just click in my signature.

What the bloody hell happened? This can’t be!??! Explain.

Sorry for the lack of spacing. I should pay better attention next time. : P

At 10/11/05 04:05 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Hey Myst, Part 6 is finally out :)

It was good man. Keep at'r.

At 10/15/05 05:36 AM, Alkador wrote: Myst, my English exam is in two weeks and am preparing myself by studying my designated texts. I am also memorising quotes and formulating opinions which will help me in my essays.

Nice timing, I just got back today from holidays... : )

Throughout the year, I have typed and written a numerous number of essays, yet my English teacher continues to point out a particular flaw that continues to appear. You too, have seen some of these flaws, some of which were present in 'Tales of Alkador'. My biggest flaw in analytical essay writing is the presence of 'awkward sentences'. Despite a lot of proof reading my side, I do not notice these sorts of mistakes.

I too had a problem with teachers writing 'awk' all over my papers way back when. The thing is with awkward sentences, is that they are usually hard to specify. In the sense that they can be wrong because of very different reasons each time. Generally accepted, it means this (according to my understanding): the sentence is flawed in choice and arrangement of words to an extent to be incomplete, incoherent, or improper. Basically, the words you chose simply mislead the reader, don’t make sense, or don’t say what the writer is meaning to say (which can usually be told be the previous sentence). So it’s like a collision of grammar and style.

There are so many reasons why this can happen. I will name a few that I can think of, and maybe try some examples:

A lot of the time it is because the writer is not using an active voice, and is instead using a passive voice. Depending on the purpose of the piece, the two should be separate and not confused or intertwined.

Passive: The boy was bitten by the dog.
Active: The dog bit the boy.
There has been an increase in the number of parking tickets being issued on campus this year.
There isn’t anything wrong with the sentence above, but watch the change of voice, and simplicity of the slight awkwardness. It can easily be avoided.
Currently, more students are receiving parking tickets than last year.

On another note, awkward sentences can arise when the use of the words that, where, and which are confused. Here is a more extreme example to help you grasp the point easier:

I read in a magazine where scientists believe they have discovered a new subatomic particle.
The where should say that.
This is a confusion of combining phrases and clauses, which can seem ambiguous to find. Notice that when you read that sentence, you obviously noticed the awkwardness. However, to the writer, it doesn’t seem so apparent, because of their individual style of writing. My second tip (both tips at the bottom of this post) would have easily solved this problem.
Hmm… I am not sure of anything else off the top of my head. If you have any specific questions or examples I may be able to help further, so do not hesitate to ask.

Suggestions for getting out of bad habits of writing would be appreciated. If nothing can be really suggested, thanks for reading this anyway. I'll come back to check this in a few days.

Suggestions: when editing, read your entire piece backwards. Yup. Strange, eh? Read the last sentence first, and then the second last and so forth. Why? Simple. It is because each sentence is connected, and when caught in the flow of a piece, your own errors, that seem to flow to you, are harder to not overlook. Reading the piece backwards simply has you edit each sentence on its own – which makes it easier to catch mistakes because of the lack of flow. Plus, it is like each sentence is being analyzed and not read through for the one-hundredth time by your eyes. I am not sure if any teacher would suggest this method, but it works well enough for me. You won’t catch all your mistakes (editing personal work is difficult), but you’ll do a better job tenfold.

The next best tip: read aloud. If you have some privacy to recite your work aloud… do it! It works wonders, maybe even better than my first tip. Both are great ways to edit such errors – I guess it depends on the writer and what is preferred.

Shit, I forgot to tell everyone... I am away until Oct 16th... I have a reading week, and I am back at my folks place for the week. I will be doing a lot of homework, and I don't have readily access to a computer. I might check in and read some posts, but I wont have time to post myself.

Just so ppl dont think, "where the fuck did Myst go?" ...

If it comes my turn (which I don't think it will)... just waity for me. I'd rather not miss my turn. If I pass the three day mark then skip me, but let me take the next position or something so I at least get in the loop.

Thanks guys. See you in a week's time.

P.S. Anything related to my site (the one I mentioned I was creating)... just email me and I will get back to you when I finish my slight, homerwork-ridden holiday.

P.P.S I am currently writing a novella. Let's hope its good.

P.P... uh... S.S.... It is going to be good!

At 10/4/05 01:50 PM, chaos_mage wrote: in fact, he's sending me his current progress on the movie tomorrow, im making a topic about it showing the new footage, the last topic i made got good replies...

Link us so we dont miss it. : )

At 10/4/05 04:23 AM, chaos_mage wrote: hey i write scripts for movies and i was wondering if i could join ^^

Everyone is welcome.
So of course you can join.

At 10/3/05 10:31 PM, RedCircle wrote: hahaha, two pics in one topic.

Ya, but I won!

Next time direct a question to the Where is/How to? Section of the forum...

As for experience... check the pic below, or the help...

At 10/3/05 04:25 PM, Coop83 wrote: Were you keeping a track of all the entries and copy / pasting it into a file?

Yes.

If so, could you email it to me...

And. Yes.

... done. I might be missing the last couple. I usually paste them all in once it is my turn to write. I think I am missing TNTs.

Maybe someone should email Scribbler... maybe he doesnt realize its his turn... I havnt seen him i nthe thread lately. Or did he go somewhere and I just forget?

At 10/3/05 02:01 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: God God...youyr teachers must hate you myst. That's the only logical reaosn that they would give you so much work.

Well, I should note that the 5 chapters are my fault... I have fallen a bit behind in Science... which I only took because to get my degree I need 6 credits in science... lol... I am an art and english major for godsakes. Science?!?! : P Bah.

At 10/3/05 01:18 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: Part of me wants to take contorl ofthe idea that Um came up with. I think its a good idea...but sadly logic and commonsense says its a very bad idea for me totake control :-( Schoolwork is being a bitch (Have 3 essays to do for this week <breaks down crying>).

Don't feel so bad, I have 8 sketches to do, 5 chapters to read of a text book, 2 essays to do, 2 novels to read, and multiple sheets to fill out and answer... all in the next two weeks. Though, next week I have off, so that is probably why my profs piled it all on. : P

Thank God for NG for a quick break and a post here or there. : )

Congrats Auz. You seem to deserve it. Great work.

At 10/2/05 03:09 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Like I said just an idea, I'm not totally thrilled with it, but I'd like to know what you guys think

Sounds like decent idea, but I doubt it will pan out. Who knows though.

Individuals here need to take more initiative if they are looking to make flash. I only say this because little animators even know this thread exists. So maybe some spread of word might help. I am not sure. At the current moment, I am personally not worried about it, I have so damn much on my plate. But if someone else wants to take it under their wing, by all means... please do.

I like to think of this thread as more of a community of democracy, than guild of hierchy.

At 10/1/05 04:55 PM, Coop83 wrote: Great stuff... I've only got one small problem, which is all the stuff I've been writing on my OLD comp is stuck on there (for now) I'm trying to find a way of extracting those files, but it could take a while.

No problem man. The site won't be ready for a couple months. Probably be up before christmas, or just after. Depends if I go on a trip this winter season. You never know though, I could finish in Novemeber if ym course load isnt too heafty this semester.

As of now, it is just a template. 5 or 6 pages all layed out, but without any content... just the design. Quikfox is helping me by making a logo as we speak. As soon as I get that going, I can start filling in the pages and what not. Then I have to catch up on my own novel writing. : )

At 10/1/05 06:03 AM, Coop83 wrote: Cool, is anyone else going to get their own little 'library' within your collection page?

So basically... I'd glady host your novel Coop. lol. : )

At 10/1/05 06:03 AM, Coop83 wrote: Cool, is anyone else going to get their own little 'library' within your collection page?

If others would like one. I don't mind making a few extra pages. I just dont to host a bunch of people's poetry... if it is long prose then just email me, and I will ask for a few details as a litte description of the author or something.

At 9/30/05 03:11 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Bah, as long as you don't forget that my first language is french ;)

I know man. : )

I never reveal information in an other way than in the story. Be patient, he he.

I will try...

By the way, the website idea is really good. I'm in. :)

Awesome. It is still under construction, but I will gladly host your story on my site along with my own work. I'll make a special little section for it. : D

Most ppl just take a picture of something they like and crop it using a photo editing program.

I made mine, and I used Photoshop CS, you can get that and play around with it to learn the different functions. That is how I learned... like, 4 years ago on PS 6 or something.

At 9/29/05 08:48 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Hey Myst, like the story so far?

Ya, I am really enjoying the story. Some of yuor translation is mixed up, but when I go over it, I can easily fix your mix ups of tense et cetera.

I am still wondering if I am going to be in it.. and if I am, how awesome is my character going to be lol. XD

I'm such a comment whore.

lol, we all are.

Anyone who has not seen or voted on Grace, please do. I could always use support, comments, critique, et cetera. Even if you want to post your thought here o nthe message board. I am striving to improve, but the ppl on RG only review if they like a piece it seems... I am not sure... I have received little positive critisizm. Just positive comments.

Thanks guys.

At 9/29/05 03:06 PM, Coop83 wrote: No problem. My knowledge of England isn't spectacular, but I know enough to get by.

Sent.

Anything you know may help. Thanks.

At 9/29/05 02:42 PM, Coop83 wrote: Email me the stuff you want to know, myst and I'll help you to the best of my abilities.

Okay great... I will email you after my class. I have a tutorial in 15 mins. : )

I appreciate it.

Is anyone here from Bedfordshire (or nearby) and know anything about Luton University?

Aside fro mthat, does anyone know anything about Sunderland University (im assuming in Sunderland) ?

Thanks.

At 9/28/05 12:15 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: I'm nt going to back out of it,so don't worry about that. I've not got much homework today so I should be able to do my part.

Good, because I didnt want to have to kill you.

At 9/27/05 06:10 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote:

As I so frequently do.

lol! I love the little subnotes. ^_^

At 9/27/05 11:50 AM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: am I right in thinking its my go for the collab story next? If it is I may not be able to actually do it. School is being a bitch and I Don't have much time at the moment...however if 'm lucky I might be able to write my piece tommorow...so yeah...just giving you a warning just in case.

Just do what you can. No one expects a full post or more... if it is only a paragraph or two, it is still significant, even if it doesnt seem it. So even like doing a couple sentences in between studying until you get a paragraph would suffice. : ) Just dont back out, man. Please. ^_^

At 9/27/05 12:08 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: It always seems when myst writes that everything clears up for a bit.

Thanks!

I have an idea now for the story, to resolve all of the crap, but it probably won't work when it gets to me... and if read wrong would throw the plot off that much further. This is truly a chalenge.

It seems to be the way, which really makes it so much more interesting to write. We have to mold and shape our ideas according to the enviroment the writer before places us in.

And yes I am staying if you havn't figured it out, no need to skip me.

Awesome!