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Dear Me,

If you don't stand up for yourself, then you deserve it when he treats you that way.

Really.

Smiles and Hugs,

Me

Fish and telephones.

Seriously.

Ask her if you two can meet somewhere, sit her down, have a serious talk about what's going on in your head, and then break it to her slowly.

Oh, and be ready for a possible shitstorm.

At 11/21/09 01:51 AM, SashaSexyFur wrote: I am the only female who thinks that Twilight is a terrible piece of shit?

Nope, nope.
I wouldn't waste my money or time on that piece of shit, even if my life depended on it.

I couldn't. I'm one of those pussies that hates contemplating the death of even one person. I don't think money is more valuable than a persons life.

You know, I've had my doubts about college also. I wonder the point of school in general, to be honest. The only thing I have to look forward to in college is the possibility that I will be able to take classes that pertain more to the interests that I have. Right now I'm stuck in classes that I have to have credits for in order to graduate... none of them having to do with what I want to go into for work. I'm better at English and foreign languages, yet I'm forced to take classes that I'm not only not interested, but I also rather suck at. So it kills my GPA and makes it harder for me to go to a college that I want. For me, at least, and I don't know if I'm alone in this, it's like an endless cycle of stress, and all to just go to some bloated university where I pay a shitload of money (enough to rent out an apartment for a really long time) to have some bloated, ego-centric Professor tell me the advanced ways to do things. I realize it's a necessity and I will go, but I still wonder the point of it.

That was an absolute abomination to the original piece.

Here.

Szomorú Vasárnap isn't exactly depressing enough to make me want to kill myself, but it's hauntingly beautiful on its own.

I hate women who let themselves go just because they're in a relationship with someone. "He'll love me, no matter how fat I get!" Bullshit - it's a two way effort, if you stayed attractive for her, she should follow suit.

It would be a good idea to diet and exercise with her. Make it a couples activity, a tradition to do every so days or whatever. Every Sat and Sun you go run a mile together and you two take turns at night to cook healthy, and possibly new, meals (I'm totally basing this on the assumption that you two are living together). It would be a really good bonding experience and she can get healthy at the same time. Problem solved.

But, you know, if she's not willing to do that because "you should love her the way she is," then I don't know what options you have beyond just leaving her. It sounds cruel, but just because you two are in love and deeply involved with each other doesn't mean she can just let herself become unattractive. Personality holds A LOT in a relationship but so does physical attraction. If you can't find yourself wanting to make love to her anymore then there's a problem that needs to be worked through.

I went and saw Paranormal Activity with a friend.

Don't really know what to say about it. :/

I'm only going for one kid... but, yeah, if I had a girl I'd name her Calliope Annabelle Ophelia (double middle name) and if I had a boy I'd name him Max, Jason, Adam, Andrew, or Dmitri.

At 10/30/09 11:29 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 10/29/09 01:43 PM, JohnnyWang wrote: Ed Gein, Dahmer and Gacy are the classics.

I believe that Ed Gein killed only about two people (of which there is irrefutable evidence) so if you wanted to define "serial killer" as someone who kills 3+ people (I think that's the minimum required, right?) but it's more of the stuff he did with the bodies than the actual acts of killing that make him notorious.

The FBI definition says 3 people must be killed, another official instituation that studies criminology says that there must be at least 2 people killed. Both definitions are accepted, so technically Gein was a serial killer. But he was more of a glorified, extremely disturbed grave-digger.

I don't care. If they goof off or text in class, they'll get their come-uppence. Frankly, those people can do whatever they please, just as long as they don't bother me for help for something they should have been paying attention for.

They're on their own for that.

At 10/29/09 11:44 PM, Athlas wrote:

At 10/29/09 11:40 PM, MissSkylark wrote:

At 10/29/09 11:30 PM, Athlas wrote:

At 10/29/09 11:13 PM, MissSkylark wrote:
It's not the pain that makes us do stupid things, it's the fear of pain.

I guess I could tell my psychiatrist, but more medication simply isn't a solution. I'm already at a very high dose of antipsychotics, which aren't the only meds I take.

I'm currently on abilify, seroquell, sypralexa, staurodorm, nozinan, lerivon, and dipiperon.

More medication isn't really an option, I believe...

Doesn't sound like it. Hmmm. How many milligrams are you taking for each dose of your medication? How many times have your psychiatrist already increased the dose?

I can't even remember the names of all the medication I've had to swallow the past few years, they just stuck with this cocktail because it worked well, without too many side-effects. I'm on the max dose for each one, except for the seroquell. Which is a good thing, 'cause it's also a sedative...

Have you been officially diagnosed with some form of schizophrenia? If so, you're basically doing all you can to contain the psychosis. There's nothing you can do beyond swallowing pills and working it through with therapy. I still really think that you should tell your psychiatrist about the voices, especially if you haven't been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Gah. This isn't a very happy situation. I wish I could be of more help, but it sounds like you're already doing all you can. All I can suggest is that you don't give up and keep trying to prevail in your endevours.

At 10/29/09 11:30 PM, Athlas wrote:

At 10/29/09 11:13 PM, MissSkylark wrote:
It's not the pain that makes us do stupid things, it's the fear of pain.

I guess I could tell my psychiatrist, but more medication simply isn't a solution. I'm already at a very high dose of antipsychotics, which aren't the only meds I take.

I'm currently on abilify, seroquell, sypralexa, staurodorm, nozinan, lerivon, and dipiperon.

More medication isn't really an option, I believe...

Doesn't sound like it. Hmmm. How many milligrams are you taking for each dose of your medication? How many times have your psychiatrist already increased the dose?

At 10/29/09 11:13 PM, MissSkylark wrote: I don't know enough about your assumption.

Situation* gah.

Stupid typos.

At 10/29/09 11:02 PM, Athlas wrote:

At 10/29/09 10:49 PM, MissSkylark wrote: As much as you're going to hate this answer and say, "It just won't work," it's probably your best chance:

You're gonna have to get a psychiatrist and get back on your meds. You're going to have to take those medications as directed and go through therapy to deal with your psychosis and create strategies that can help you fit in with 'normal' society as close as possible. One thing you're going to want to discuss are the voices you've been recently hearing. Do you have a violent history?

It's possible to lead somewhat of a normal life if you do all you can and exhaust all possibilities.

Beyond this, I don't know what you should do. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

Decent advice, the problem is I'm already doing all of those things and they just aren't working out...

I haven't mentioned the voices though, I'm afraid they'll force me back into a hospital if I do.

They can't really help you if you don't tell them everything. Treatment isn't always 100% either; but, as cheesy and as ridiculous as it sounds, if you don't really think it's going to it won't. If you're set to believe nothing will help, then it won't. I'm not trying to say that before you weren't 100% into getting better and trying your hardest to follow the procedures and all that... I can't make assumptions like that. I don't know enough about your assumption.

And as scary as going back to the hospital sounds, and I am NOT going to say I understand that fear, that would just be a huge insult to you because there is no absolute way I can understand what you're going through, don't let it keep you from telling your doctors about the voices. Depending on what those voices are saying, it can end up causing a lot of trouble for you and possibly other people. But you sound lucid enough to keep yourself in control. I strongly suggest that you tell your doctors about these voices and what they say.

There was a saying I heard once:
It's not the pain that makes us do stupid things, it's the fear of pain.

As much as you're going to hate this answer and say, "It just won't work," it's probably your best chance:

You're gonna have to get a psychiatrist and get back on your meds. You're going to have to take those medications as directed and go through therapy to deal with your psychosis and create strategies that can help you fit in with 'normal' society as close as possible. One thing you're going to want to discuss are the voices you've been recently hearing. Do you have a violent history?

It's possible to lead somewhat of a normal life if you do all you can and exhaust all possibilities.

Beyond this, I don't know what you should do. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

At 10/29/09 01:35 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: Why don't I see Albert Fish's name mentioned anywhere? He has been my personal favorite serial killer for years. You'll see why pretty quickly.

This. The letter he sent to Grace Budd's parents years after he had cannibalized her was absolutely horrid.

It's hard to answer the question over who was the craziest, though. All of them were pretty fucked. Herbert Mullin, Dahmer, Gary Ridgway, Gacy, Henry Lee Lucas, Charles Ng and Leonard Lake, the Vampire of Haandover...

It's kind of a question of quality vs quantity. Some of these fuckers killed lots of people, but some of the serial killers killed very little and did the most depraved things.

But I have to say that Albert Fish was one sick mother fucker.

If you think of death as something you aren't consciously aware of when it's happening, it's comforting. Like, when you die, everything dies with you, so you wouldn't even know it happened. It's like sleeping, but forever.

You don't exist anymore, so you can't comprehend if you aren't existing.

Maybe that just comforts *me*.

It's the little things for me.
I like the sounds he makes, the way he holds me, how sweet his lips are, the heat of it, the feel of his breath on me. :D

But I especially love pleasuring him orally. It always makes me feel good to make him feel good.

Plus it's really fun to tease and try to make him last a while before he cums. :D

Oh god no. How dare they! That's the worst thing that could possibly happen!

People are starving, dying of diseases, being needlessly murdered in war, suffering in poverty - but fuck that! I'll be damned if they take UNDER GOD out of our wonderful pledge!

Seriously. It was added in the fifties. We just grew attached to it now. Get off your high horse. We survived for years without it.

At 10/27/09 11:15 PM, Sizzlebuzz wrote:

At 10/27/09 11:11 PM, MissSkylark wrote: I would have tried to fight them. No doubt I would have gotten my ass kicked, but I would have tried.

Two have been booked so far. One 19, and the other 15. The 19 year old will probably get a ton of time. They updated the page. 800,000 dollar bail. Doesn't look like anyone he knows has the means to pay that either. The 15 year old will probably get a few years and have the rest of his life fucked up because it was a sexual assault. I just hope the 15 year old talks and rats on some of the other people.

I hope they found that it was worth it.

Good. The people that participated in violating that poor girl need to be put away for a very long time.

God I can't even imagine what that girl is going through right now. It must be horrible.

I would have tried to fight them. No doubt I would have gotten my ass kicked, but I would have tried.

At 10/23/09 10:14 PM, DarkSytze wrote:

At 10/23/09 10:03 PM, MissSkylark wrote:

also, the story just sounds like a flick. why do you know in detail where she took the gun, and whose gun it was? i've shot a gun before, and it kicks pretty hard. i don't see an eleven year old girl shooting herself with a gun that quickly..

I knew about where her uncle kept her gun and it was the only gun in the house. It was registered to him, too. And, I don't know about you, but when someone pulls a gun out you get pretty fucking scared. We thought she was going to kill us. But then she pointed it to her head and pulled the trigger. I know I could have pushed her down or something like that, but I was too much of a fucking pussy and I was frozen where I was and didn't do shit. I was a little girl and didn't know what the fuck to do.

And I understand why she did it NOW. When I was younger I didn't get it. But through therapy and years of reflecting on it, I realize that SHE thought she had nothing else to live for. If I could rewind time and make things go along differently, I would do it in a heartbeat. I would have looked for the signs. I would have tried harder to get her help. But I didn't. So I guess that my shortcomings just make another step on the ladder. I wish she didn't do it. It was selfish. But I understand where she was coming from.

I'm gonna come at this from personal experience.

I used to have a friend that killed herself because of a lot of trauma she went through, and was already suffering through a lot of mental issues (PTSD, manic depression, etc). She basically started out her life in an abusive home to a mother that didn't want her and would use her to bring men into he house. Then when money got short the Mom attempted to kill her but failed and my friend got away. Her mother was sent away to jail and she was left in the care of her aunt and uncle. They didn't want her either. The aunt was her mother's sister and had basically renounced all relations. So, both she and her husband didn't want anything to do with my friend, because they thought she was going to be just like her mother. So they were basically neglectful. She was alreadys suffering from some educational disabilities and was having a hard time fitting in at school. One problem she had was wetting her pants whenever she was nervous. In fact, this is how I met her. She had wet her pants and was sitting far away from everyone on the playground. I saw her, sat next to her, offered my hand to her and I took her to the office to get some help. From then we were inseparable. Things didn't get a lot better for her. In the few years that I knew her, her aunt and uncle were still neglectful, she wasn't getting help for her mental problems and there was more tragedy coming her way. The straw that broke the camel's back was when a friend of her aunt and uncle began molesting and raping her for over a period of two years (she was 9 when it began) and when she attempted to tell her aunt and uncle, they didn't believe her. (My friend's mother was known to be a pathological liar, so they basically thought that my friend had inherited the trait).

So, when my friend was 11, she decided to end it. I and two of my other friends were in the house when it happened. She went up to her uncle's room, took his handgun from the side table, hid it away in her pants, and came downstairs. She told us to follow her and then she said to us that she didn't want anyone to forget her. Then she committed suicide.

Do I blame her for doing it? Hell no. She was suffering almost every day and no one was helping her along the way. I did as much as I could and for a while I thought that she died because I hadn't done enough. I didn't want her to die, but I can understand why she did. Suicide isn't a solitary thing. It affects a lot of people. It hurt me a lot. But I understand why she did it.

TL;DR Version: My friend committed suicide, I understand why; but, I don't think suicide is generally a good thing even if the person suffering has nothing to live for. When the deed is done, the pieces are left behind for the loved ones to pick up.

"This chick likes Kratos WAY too much."

And quoted One Hour Photo for some reason.

I'm going to play devil's advocate.

As a girl, I do have guy friends I only like in a friendly way and I'm personally not attracted to them. I guess that means they're in the "friend zone."

But, I have to ask. Don't guys reject girls that they aren't attracted to? What if your best girl friend had a huge crush on you and you rejected her on the basis that there was no real attraction? Wouldn't you be putting them in the friend zone too? I mean, I understand that it sucks really hard to be on the end of unreciprocated love, but not everyone you are attracted to is going to like you back... That's kind of how life works.

Still giggling over the fact that "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too" is a funny Presidential slogan.

Also I'm on my fifth kid.

A copy editor for fictional novels. <3

Fuck, a lot of people on this site act like they haven't heard of transgendered people before.

From my own experience:
I have a friend who got a sex change when she was 13. She was a he for a long time but always felt trapped in her body. She hated being a male, and felt confused, isolated and disgusted with who she was. After she got that sex change, started taking hormonal therapy, and grew through her teenage years as a girl (she is now 20) she's very happy that she made that decision.

Frankly, it's no one's business whether or not this kid wanted a sex change. If he realizes he made a mistake some time in the future, oh well. It's not our problem, but his. And if he ends up being happy as a girl, then wonderful. I hope she likes being a girl. People worry about other people's issues way too freaking much sometimes.