38 Forum Posts by "MiSFiTT"
DUTY: (gravely) You caused the death of that man and his dog.
BENDYMAN looks up and smiles.
BENDYMAN: Yes, but I saved five people. The greatest happiness for the great number of people, right, Karl?
KARL: Me and you think very differently.
BENDYMAN: (thoughtfully) The dog made the choice much more difficult however. I came across a similar issue once before, but there was no dog, so it was clear to let the five people live and just have off with the other. But with the dog...
DUTY: And the sheep?
BENDYMAN: Oh, that was just at my pleasure. I could have easily avoided it.
This would be the pilot. Let me know if you think if it's any good and message me if you'd like to take it on.
Synopsis: Three superheroes, a Kantian, Marxist, and Utilitarian. Later on in the series a "Supermengsch" Existentialist will follow. They'd have funny disputes over issues of morality while fighting what they individually see as evil.
SUPERHEROES & SUPERVILLAINS
by MiSFiTT
The sky is dark and fogged with a gray haze. Rain and thunder.
WILL: My name is Will. Immanuel William. But you might know me as...
Lightning strikes and the camera zooms to the top of an industrial skyscraper. THE MAN OF DUTY stands heroically on top of it. Hands on hips. Chin up, daring the weather on. HeâEUTMs clad in a golden suit of armor with a majestic-looking breastplate ikonâEUTMd with a large glowing blue D. His hair is short and swept back, blowing in the wind, and his blue eyes pierce the stormy night. An aura of light glows around him and as perfect a sword as possible lies somewhere scabbardâEUTMd on his body.
WILL: (stoically) Man of Duty.
------------
A walk light turns red and begins itâEUTMs count as pedestrians bustle across the wet street with their umbrellas. Amidst the crowd is KARL, 35 years, a tall negro, about 6âEUTM10âEU, with a short fade-top and dark eyes that sometimes steal a glint of green. He wears European jeans with trills, heeled-boots, and a black sweater. He uncaringly has no umbrella. He looks up and seeâEUTMs a giant TV-screen telegraphing the newest updates on Edward SnowdenâEUTMs NSA leak. He looks back ahead of himself.
ThereâEUTMs a fight up ahead.
(Evil Arises Music Q)
MUTATED THUG: BLARGHAHAGHRGHAH!
The mutated thug has large, fleshy, pink, tubular-like roots sprouting out of him. To make matters worse, they flail around wildly and are covered in tiny white hairs which are quite sharp!
Shot of CIVILIAN 1 in a dead-end alleyway perpendicular to the street MUTATED THUG is rampaging in. He wears a very conventional suit and tie. He looks at the abomination of man, and then down at his suitcase full of papers, pens, and non-sequiturs all of which the audience is visible to. He focuses on it with a disgruntled expression. Suddenly some sort of God, Hand, Finger, or âEUoecurrent figureâEU comes down from the sky and shoots a lightning bolt at the manâEUTMs suitcase, filling it with checks. Civilian one is a little surprised itâEUTMs not cash, but nonetheless focuses, spotting a bank down the street. He becomes very serious and decides to cross past the monster to reach the bank and deposit his checks. The tension rises, focus in on CIVILIAN 1âEUTMs face, sweat drips and he darts out. His foot steps in a puddle. Panting, he steals a glance at the beast who becomes aware of him. The manâEUTMs pulse quickens and he tunnel visions on the bank. An entire family of people suddenly run up and scream in front of him. His eyes bulge out enormously.
CIVILIAN 1: Outta the Way!
He pushes past them and they fall beneath the grasps of the mutant. He reaches the bank but scrupulously turns back to look at the family, deciding whether or not to help. He decidedly turns away when his attention sparks. He looks down to see that his suitcase is partially open. Turning back around, he seeâEUTMs the checks lying among the people. He considers very hard.
Meanwhile MUTANT THUG is about to devour a child when suddenly...
(DutyâEUTMs Call music Q)
MAN OF DUTY appears and slices the tentacle which held the child. He aptly grabs the falling child, being sure to put him on the ground gently behind him. Then he turns back to the monster who regenerates his appendage and upon doing so a vicious, fleshy, red mouth bursts out of THE THINGâEUTMs chest. THE THING resembleâEUTMs a large flower with stubby human legs, only itâEUTMs petals are tentacles and itâEUTMs center is a fleshy man-eating mouth.
MAN OF DUTY: What breed of foulness art thou?
THE THING: (drooling) Foooooooooood
THE THING: (gnashingly) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
THE THING lurches as MAN OF DUTY prepares but suddenly...
(KARL Music Q)
KARL jumps between them with brass knuckles and super-punches the beast fearlessly in the mouth. The force of KARLâEUTMs punch blasts through THE THING. KARL ninja-rolls out from the other side of THE THING and pauses in a kneel as THE THING explodes behind him. KARL stands up and cleans the intestine off his brass knuckles which say âEUoeMARXâEU and âEUoeYOU!âEU Then he becomes aware of CIVILIAN 1 behind him at the bank. KARL turns around and glowers at the man, then shoots off of the ground with his rocket-propelled boots and grabs the man by the collar raising his fist to his face.
MAN OF DUTY: (patronizingly) Karl. Stop that.
KARL: (irritably) Stay out of this Duty. ItâEUTMs bound to happen anyway!
DUTY: Not while IâEUTMm around.
KARL: (laconic) Oh, youâEUTMre batman now? OK. âEUoeNot while IâEUTMm around.âEU âEUoeNot while IâEUTMm around.âEU
CIVILIAN 1: You Prole!
KARL turns around and punches CIVILIAN 1 in the face, blowing up his head which, upon exploding, unleashes rife amounts of oil and cash. DUTY places his thumb and middle-finger gently over the bridge of his nose as KARL crouches down and starts collecting bills.
DUTY: Karl...
KARL: IâEUTMm donating this to Sam Webb.
DUTY: Who is Sam Webb?
Karl is gets very upset and defensive from this remark.
KARL: Oh, so you donâEUTMt know who Sam Webb is? You just stick to the simple Republican and Democrat. Maybe the occasional Green Party Member who you only make fun of?
DUTY: Forget it. IâEUTMm sorry I asked. But either way, thatâEUTMs not your money to donate.
KARL: Oh? WhoâEUTMs is it? You store money in a dead manâEUTMs head?
DUTY: No, itâEUTMs not mine. ItâEUTMs...
KARL: Well whoâEUTMs is it? The dead manâEUTMs? Should I embalm him with his money like a Pharaoh?
Suddenly BENDYMAN comes bouncing into the scene. He unfolds into his chosen human form which at the moment is a tall slender man with pale skin, dark hair, and sunglasses, sporting a three-quarters of the way buttoned dark flannel shirt, red leather pants, and yellow suede shoes.
BENDYMAN: Oh, found this did you?
He bends down and starts to collect.
KARL: I know youâEUTMre not taking my money.
Bendyman smiles.
BENDYMAN: YouâEUTMre money? Come on now Karl. You of all people should agree that this money should go to where itâEUTMll be used best. In the hands of the people.
A scream. They all look in the direction it came from. A runaway train is racing ahead down a track. A track that splits two ways, one of which, has five people tied to it, all bound and gagged. The side-track has no one bound or gagged but there is a single person obliviously walking around on it with his dog.
DUTY: What the-
KARL: I canâEUTMt see what you guys see so I know thereâEUTMs no way weâEUTMll reach there in time.
BENDYMAN stretches out his arm. It zips through the air, around cars in traffic, through a sheep, and crashes through a window to grab a lever which he pulls. The train which was headed for the track with five people, shifts track right at the last minute and clobbers the individual and his dog.
DUTY is shocked and silent as KARL quietly continues to pick up money, unaware of whatâEUTMs going on. BENDYMANâEUTMS arm retracts, flying back through the sheep which falls down and dies to the stupor of the flock, through the traffic which has gotten worse, and snaps back into shape at his side.
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/517734?updated=1
Delay effects with piano!
At 1/4/13 10:58 PM, MiSFiTT wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/517715
If you have some spare time, I'd appreciate anyone willing to dedicate 2 minutes to listen to my song! :)
Another piece, if you have the time, give it a listen. It's very short.
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#1 At The Subway Station by MiSFiTTA piece to whisk you off to a transitory place of change.
- Score
- 0 / 5.00
- Type
- Loop
- Genre
- Classical
- Popularity
- 6 Views
If you have some spare time, I'd appreciate anyone willing to dedicate 2 minutes to listen to my song! :)
At 6/29/10 04:23 PM, RNNR wrote:+1 for getting the HL2 reference, hah.
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from the riser-pipe while talking stock prices; Gore then immediately engaged in crying for five years. Once he calmed down, there was a soothing roar from the bear, he roared, "Pineapples suck" to which the Korean committed Hara-kiri but failed, instead wounding Al Gore's young niece. So he pulled an anvil out, strapping it on.
Suddenly Steven Hawking stood up and proclaimed, "This is the end of class. But not for long!" Then he wormhole teleported them to Russel Crowe's liquor cabinet, located near Tom Fulp's summer home where he likes to sodomize penicorns. Then they electrocuted the penguin of moral destruction because they were busy screwing a bolt into a robot giraffe's rusty periscope and eating minty biscuits while singing, "America, Fuck The Llama!" Regardless, the president was banning all of the llamas to Disneyland, where Donald Duck was watching systematic genocide, pleasing many lesbian zombies that weren't frosted butts.
Al Gore, weighed down, let the Korean stick a curtain up his neighbor's lamp shade. Suddenly, a gigantic teacup crashed onto Tom's home and a massive Spanish retard! The shards ripped a hole into China. A Chinese astrology junkie strapped on his suspenders and waltzed 500 sheep into a gigantic apple that had done Al a huge favor by spraying saliva down his urethra. The trouble was that 2 cute kittens had been puking rainbows. Hippies descended from rainbows to bring him sexy fish and shallow lemons. Al refused to make impregnated gnomes beg for kinky sex. He instead gave it chlamydia and a sticky bun of extreme pleasure. Meanwhile, at Batman's house... Batman raped Al Gore's niece as Bangkok relocated into Robin's smelly underpants.
Due to unforeseen consequences all of City 17 residents' streetlights massively exploded and killed seven Mongols. Gordon Freeman masturbated furiously with sandpaper, unaware of his dicklessness
At 6/10/10 08:09 PM, TheSubject666 wrote: what's so wrong with a tie Misfit? huh?
Though I do think voting ended alot earlier, he was being liberal when he allowed those last ones in.
But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they shoulddn't be counted. I don't wanna win on one vote, and I much more prefer a 2-2 tie. and losing on 3-2 isn't bad either, as long as people enjoyed my writing. You good Misfit, and Im fine being a little worse then you.
I'm not complaining; I was just asking. I didn't know that poetry battles could end with a tie so I was confused.
At 6/10/10 12:00 AM, TrevorW wrote: Although these votes are late I am going to allow them. Battle ended.
Are you counting SteakandKidneyPie's vote? If you don't it's a tie between subject and me with 2 votes a piece...
We don't need ideas. We need people who actually accomplish something and do it right. We also don't need a bunch of crappy forum games and such. Formulate real stimulates. More topics does not equal better topics/forum.
But isn't that what this whole discussion is about? Conceiving ideas or "real stimulates" and then actualizing them; or at least shaping some higher order to uphold?
At 6/6/10 02:38 PM, TrevorW wrote:At 6/6/10 01:59 PM, RNNR wrote:I could open up a separate thread where we can discuss how to make this forum more awesome and keep it that way.Just do that here. No sense in having 16 topics on the matter.
I like the idea and we'd only need one topic ;)
The flow of the discussion could be disrupted here with people posting random tidbits of whatever they want; it is the writing forum lounge after all.
A new topic would also create a more focused environment that would centralize what we need to accomplish; not to mention the header would attract more users to collaborate ideas.
At 6/6/10 03:12 PM, TrevorW wrote: A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from the riser-pipe while talking stock prices
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from the riser-pipe while talking stock prices, Gore was
At 6/4/10 03:54 PM, Jinxerz wrote: A day at the DMV
________________________________________
_______
My feet rest on the tiled floor
As I stare on, this day a bore
In hand I hold the form, complete
This, my 67th sheet.
Stamped and signed, all markings due
Triplicate marked, through and through.
I've spoke with Sally, Jim AND Sue
Through tape of red and faces blue.
The line, it inches, as I yawn
Evening comes; here since dawn
I've stood and stand still, waiting long
To strike the note that ends the song
At last, my turn! So glad to see
An end to this eternity
My tired eyes see withered face,
The death stroke to this dull disgrace.
My tired arm hands her the sheet
My precious labor now complete
She reads my form, upturns her nose
"I'm sorry sir, but we just closed."
This was my favorite howbeit I predicted the punchline early on so it was a bit predictable.
One of my criticisms is that it's a very stream of conscience piece which is fine, but some of the lines seem thoughtless.
A real quick grammar note is
This, my 67th sheet
was a bit unclear. Instead "This: my 67th sheet" would have been easier to understand.
The capitalization of "and" in line 7 was an interesting but honestly an unnecessary syntax change. For me it disrupted the flow of the piece and that was all it accomplished.
To strike the note that ends the song
This is some great imagery on it's own but because it serves as a metaphor for the whole piece it doesn't fit. It just seems out of place with the rest of the poem; it's too melodic next to the rest of the blunt and simple lines. Using a "song" as a metaphor doesn't make sense to me since you haven't used any auditory imagery throughout the poem.
Despite it's predictability (for me), the last stanza was really well put together and the rhyme scheme was near flawless. The strongest point of your poem was undoubtedly the end.
Fun poem. I wonder if it's based off of real events? ;)
I approved you, but keep in mind we have alot of work to do.
The list right now is getting pretty big, and alot of the mods are really busy at this time. A week ago isn't that old right now.
I see -- I appreciate you going out of your way to approve it for me. Good luck with the rest!
I submitted a short piece (under 30 seconds) a week ago and it has still not been approved. I have never submitted to the audio portal before so I know i'm not banned and it's clearly my own work because I recorded it myself; all it is is some simple electric guitar.
I'd appreciate if one of the audio moderators could check this out for me.
Thanks.
At 6/5/10 10:17 PM, TrevorW wrote: I would like to propose an amendment to this threat. When posting your picture add a 4 sentence tale of what just might be happening ;)
I will post mine later
Great idea! I'll do the same but i'm too busy right now.
"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances" -Oscar Wilde
Haha!
Here's a weird picture that my girlfriend took of me when we were in the botanic gardens of D.C.
Apparently, I was in quite a mood! :P
Is this the Writing Forum Lounge or the "SAVE THE WRITING FORUM" thread?
I need to loosen my tie.
Come on guys!!!
Rather than transforming a lounge thread into an intense discussion board and clogging it with worthlessness, you guys should start taking action!
Create exciting new threads that inspire and influence others! Bring this forum to life! Mulling over what to do accomplishes nothing; the fact that the topic of discussion lies within the forum lounge is where the problem begins!
If you complain about receiving generic or amateur reviews (if any at all) don't complain about it; how many TRULY thoughtful reviews have you put out there? Lead by example and others will follow suit.
If you write some incredibly long and complex poem or some boring and drawn-out, dragged-through-the-mud story, don't expect people to take the time to read AND review it. Whether you are looking for advice to improve, or attention to build your ego, that's not the way to get it! Be kind to people and make them WANT to read and review your work by keeping them at a reasonable length. There's no artistic limit here; if you want to write a 5,000 word short story (or a 500 word archaic poem), by all means do so! But don't whine about want of critique afterward.
We are the heart of this forum and we have the choice of pumping blood through it's veins or remaining idle while it dies.
Participate in contests! Post in threads! If none interest you, create your own!
Forums are not so different than relationships: They thrive on passion and acceptance; they are destroyed by complications and severity.
At 6/5/10 06:23 PM, Imapixle-ated wrote: A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick.
Instead of just posting two words add them on to the last sentence guys. Just copy + paste; this will make everything much easier.
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore and dancing
Note: "and dancing" is incorrect grammar... can we please fix this? I won't add anything on since it doesn't make sense but how's this for an adjustment of the sentence:
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing
At 6/5/10 03:51 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: it's be nice to get this rolling once again.
I'll get involved.
At 6/5/10 03:34 PM, Makeshift wrote: (how often can we add to it in one page or day or... what?)
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with
At 6/5/10 01:30 PM, RNNR wrote: A man stepped out onto his porch, watching
A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked
At 6/5/10 03:04 PM, MiSFiTT wrote: To Be A Rose Analysis/Explanation:
If anyone doesn't understand how the poem fits into the theme of forbidden love
Forbidden Passion***
To Be A Rose Analysis/Explanation:
If anyone doesn't understand how the poem fits into the theme of forbidden love ask before you judge. I don't want to say anything here because I want everyone who reads the poem to interpret it in their own way but before I get a plethora of comments on how I didn't follow the theme of the battle PM me and i'll explain to you how I did.
To Be A Rose
by MiSFiTT (A.Anderson)
To be a rose,
unpetalled and sore,
dripping and humid,
the Garden Whore.
Would I rather be,
than the milky sweet flower,
that although content,
has not lived an hour.
Neither are a finished product... I'm not sure which I like better though. The lyrical alliteration of Wisping and Whispering is nice as well as their obvious hononymity (yes I made that word up) but they may be TOO similar... not sure.
homonymity*
sorry, that just REALLY annoyed me.
Wind
Wisping past my ears
Whispering secrets of life
I hear none at all
Wind (2)
Blowing past my ears
Whispering secrets of life
I hear none at all
Neither are a finished product... I'm not sure which I like better though. The lyrical alliteration of Wisping and Whispering is nice as well as their obvious hononymity (yes I made that word up) but they may be TOO similar... not sure.
Haiku's have always been one of my favorite forms of poetry. Feel free to share and come up with as many Haikus as you want in this topic.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a Haiku is:
1) An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment. Nature is combined with human nature. It usually consists of three lines of 5/7/5 (5 kana in the first line, 7 kana in the second line, and 5 kana in the third line) totaling seventeen kana.
2) A foreign adaptation of 1, usually written in three lines totaling 17 syllables or LESS.
(The above is an excerpt from www.shadowpoetry.com)
And remember, break rules out of experience, not inexperience!!!
