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Response to: Parents having sex Posted June 28th, 2009 in General

How do you know that's your mother moaning? Have you heard her before?

Response to: Billy Mays DEAD! Posted June 28th, 2009 in General

No! Fuck! Damn it!

Another entertainer - gone!

Yes, I considered Billy Mays an entertainer - his commercials were always enjoyable to watch.
Response to: What makes newgrounders cry Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

Castration - especially if it happens to the NGer.

Response to: Summer T.V. Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

At 6/23/09 10:24 PM, Saen wrote: Why can't there be more thoughtful programs? "The Mentalist", "Law and Order", "CSI", shows that focus on ideas and events, rather than people and their supposed talents.

That's why we watch reruns.

Response to: You can now make fun of me... Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

Well, that was surely anti-climactic.

I hope your subsequent contributions to NG are twice as great as they would have been if you remained a moderator.

Response to: I've Caught Swine Flu. Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

At 6/23/09 06:47 PM, Lorkas wrote: Lemme guess.

While having anal sex with two hot babes?

I seriously had to re-read this post before getting the joke.

Response to: Rap Fail Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

All musicians eventually find their niche audience.

Response to: I brusied my buds ribs Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

At 6/23/09 08:59 PM, elace wrote: playing football i picked him up and threw him. He landed wrong and bruised 2 ribs. It hurts when he breaths and i feel bad. He is my best friend and i wanna do something to make it up to him. What should i do ??

If you were his best friend, you would take him to the hospital and pay for any medical treatment he receives.

Response to: We all knew it had to happen... Posted June 23rd, 2009 in General

At 6/23/09 08:58 PM, GearShifter wrote: Was this was done by random players or by the creators of the game?

This was done by some fans, not the original creators.

Response to: It is now December 19th 2012 8pm Posted June 22nd, 2009 in General

I'll still be doing homework - after all, it's a school night.

Response to: Korn Sucks Posted June 22nd, 2009 in General

This thread has convinced me to start listening to Korn again.

1st track: "Make Me Bad"

Response to: Best prank to do on a friend? Posted June 22nd, 2009 in General

Whoopee cushions are timeless tools for these types of situations.

Best prank to do on a friend?

Response to: If your mom found your ng account.. Posted June 22nd, 2009 in General

"I told you that you didn't know everything about me."

Response to: Letterman VS. Palin Posted June 22nd, 2009 in General

I can understand why Palin is upset, as I would be just as offended if someone was making jokes like that about my kid. Still, she can't do anything about it - so, tough shit on her and her family. Also, I will add that Letterman's, Leno's, and O'Brien's humor sucks.

Response to: Most Annoying ways to wake someone! Posted June 21st, 2009 in General

Tip over the couch until they fall on the floor.

Response to: My Friend Is Being Brainwashed Posted June 21st, 2009 in General

Well, sit down with your friend and ask him to list her contributions to their relationship. If he can't think of anything more substantial than "sex," then maybe he should leave her.

Response to: English = Posh / Americans = Fat! Posted June 21st, 2009 in General

At 6/21/09 10:45 AM, ParadoxSaint wrote:
At 6/21/09 10:37 AM, Lizzardis wrote: And why is it that American people are always subjected to being fat? Not all Americans are fat, in fact they are not even in the top 5.
Hahah, all aboard- Chubster Island!
1. Nauru -- 94.5% overweight

I took one look at that map, and I immediately thought of adipose tissue (tissue composed of fat cells).

Coincidence?

English = Posh / Americans = Fat!

Response to: What gender is your brain? Posted June 17th, 2009 in General

53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

That sounds about right to me, especially the last two lines.

Response to: My mom-a pedophile? Posted June 17th, 2009 in General

My mother has the same general attitude, but it's just her way of nagging me; simply put, she just wants me to look good so I can one day go out and fuck a woman, so she can get some grandkids.

Response to: Puppy Survives Being Flushed Posted June 15th, 2009 in General

It breaks my heart to imagine a puppy whimpering from inside of a sewage pipe. I'm glad that he survived the ordeal.

Response to: I'm gonna be a freshman at Harvard. Posted June 15th, 2009 in General

At 6/15/09 08:41 PM, KrazyKool wrote: Except I hadn't even graduated HS when I made that earlier post. I'm 18 now :) ....and it wasn't exactly so far fetched, because in the end I got in to Harvard, Dartmouth, Penn, and UVA anyway.

So, you admit that you were lying when you made that post that absent pointed out.

Response to: How did you learn how to cuss? Posted June 14th, 2009 in General

I learned most of my curse words from my parents. However, a few of them, namely "cock," "cunt," and variation of those words are words that I discovered elsewhere.

Response to: True Blood Posted June 14th, 2009 in General

From the few episodes that I've seen, I can say that I like it so far.

SPOILER ALERT: I left off at the part when one of the vampires thought that he strangled a woman during sex, so he was being investigated by the local police. But, the same video that initiate incriminated him later showed that she was still alive even after he left.

Response to: Age of Porn Posted June 14th, 2009 in General

Age: 11 1/2
First porn site: Playboy
First masturbation: same day

Response to: My friends a thief Posted June 14th, 2009 in General

He doesn't seem like a friend to me.

I'd try to distance myself from him as much as possible.

Response to: My grandfather a Nazi? Posted June 14th, 2009 in General

This topic is remarkably similar to another one that I remember reading last month. Why don't you read some of the posts in there?

Response to: I Just Cut Myself On Purpose Posted June 13th, 2009 in General

Is it a coincidence that I just started listening to The Cure right before viewing this topic?

The connection that I made between cutting and The Cure was purely for the sake of humor.
Response to: I Saw My Teacher In A Porno! Twice! Posted June 13th, 2009 in General

Holy shit, dude, you should totally send that to all of your friends and ruin her career as a teacher!

Response to: How could people not like chocolate Posted June 13th, 2009 in General

Oh gee, thanks, Brick-top. Now I'm experiencing a massive chocolate craving. Because of you, I'm going to have to buy some chocolate ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery, you jackass. Here's a picture of what I'm ordering, so others can suffer like I am:

How could people not like chocolate

Response to: pre 9/11 WTC ads Posted June 13th, 2009 in General

Wow...damn...

Those pictures might not have seemed out-of-the-ordinary back then. But, after living through the attacks, each of the ads manages to appear like it's foreshadowing the attacks. In a way, it's a form of dramatic irony.