This could be considered offensive.

"Target Practice", by Regret Type: Movie Rating: Ages 17+

Poozy is a real motherfucker

At 10/19/09 04:51 PM, poxpower wrote: - Ran a marathon
- Met Arnold Schwarzenegger and has dinner with him
- Visited 43 countries
- Had a comet named after me
- Lost my virginity 5 times
- Acquired 23 patents
- Made my first million
- Was nominated for a daytime Emmy
- Had risen to Sergeant in the US army

I say, that's quite something.

And best for last:
- Finished Zelda: The Ocarina of time 2 times in one month

Ahahaha, only 2 times? You pathetic cunt. I can beat it 2 times in a day. Beat that.

Loser

I read it, alright.

It was the shittiest book I've ever read. Bella is a whiny Mary Sue, it's fucking annoying to read about Edward's perfect perfectness every goddamn 5 minutes, it's sexist, it lacks a plot, it's boring, it breaks the rules of its own world, the author is a stupid bitch with the mentality of a six year old, who believes she created the best love story of all time, etc.

I can go on and on on how the series sucks balls, and the fact that the fans are batshit insane doesn't help much either.

Fuckin' dog!

At 10/1/09 12:45 AM, beautheschmo wrote: Not just because you don't get Lucas, but because you don't get money, PSI, an open-ended world to explore, or even a really interesting character at all. I bet the rest of the game rocks, though.

Actually, money and PSI are in the game, they're just introduced differently than in other Mother games.

Sounds like you need better friends.

I'm a dick irl. I love irritating or scaring people.

Maybe if they would make the game harder so it would be of use.

At 8/26/09 04:00 PM, SgtBrainDead wrote: give me strength newgrounds -____-

You're going to hell for commiting sins, you awful person

At 8/20/09 06:06 PM, AliveGirl wrote: I really wanted to know what runescape was, sounded interesting :(

When you find it, you'll run and escape.

Lololol original amirite

Which reminds me, I should play some more Conker later. Best game on the system, hands down. Everyone who disagrees did not play it.

Man, there are so many great games for it that I should buy...

According to Principal Robotnik, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Robotnik announced plans to quit the school system and become a prostitute. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.

... Is that so.

Hahaha, what.

''It was a very dumb day at school. First, I had to eat my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on snakes and Claus got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for shit class, and the teacher was stupid! Next I had to shitty write a report about puke, and it was so cold. I read it to the class and it made everybody fuck. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate shoes with abusive milk. In art class, Lucas spilled the planes all over my new puke and it turned all negative. Math class took forever, I just wanted to shit through it. I asked for a pass to go to the AIDs, and I saw Samantha and Mia kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new books. After school, I felt controlling as I rode the bus home.''

At 8/19/09 09:47 PM, agustana wrote:

At 8/19/09 08:52 PM, Porkchop wrote:

At 8/19/09 08:45 PM, agustana wrote: I'm stroking my cock right now.

Can I watch?

What are you, queer?

We're all a little queer inside.

At 8/19/09 09:22 PM, fastdrew wrote: Your doing it wrong.

Mehh.

Pretty much

At 8/19/09 09:00 PM, igott wrote: The sun burns you, doesn't it?

Conclusion: MadiiMonsterr is a vampire in disguise.

QUICK! GET BUFFY!

Real girls...

Cosplaying as hentai girls.

Awwwwwww yeah

I still don't know how to tie my shoes.

My brother learned it at... Age 16 or something.
Shoelaces are assholes anyway

Radical, dudes!

Let us mate with female turtles!

A school shooting, of course.

I am going to be the new Jeff Weise.

At 8/15/09 10:55 AM, Ptcfast wrote: We lost him...

No... NOOOO!!

That's perfectly normal.

The use of braces are to adjust the location of your teeth, right? So of course, that is going to end up hurting your gums. You'll probably be able to have solid foods after a week or so...

Thank god that when I get mine, I only have to use them for a small period of time.

Yay, the only day in the year that we can submit spam on NG and get away with it!

Everyone loves StrawberryClock

I'd smack that bitch and tell her to make me a goddamn sandwich.

Pretty much.

Runescape is pretty damn awesome.

/sarcasm

There was something, that if you stay in your bed for 10 minutes without moving, something happens similar to an out of body experience.

I forgot what it was named, through.

At 8/6/09 10:11 AM, Dew wrote: You signed up when you were ten?

I was on NG when I was about 7 or 8 years old.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: 23 November... 23 November... It was the night I lost my virginity.

That fateful night, I had to pick up my very attractive cousin from the airport. Both of my parents were out of town. The drive was a very long one, but I didn't mind. My cousin filled me in on what's been recently happening in her life and I listened and occasionally nodded.

When we got home she went to the bathroom to put something more comfortable on.
I was browsing through my movies. Most of them involved alot of violence and sex.
I wasn't very sure of what to watch. My cousin then got downstairs in a very lovely
pajama. She looked so cute, I would have seduced her right there, right then, if she wasn't my cousin.

She noticed the movie in was holding in my hand and said: ''You got that movie? I was trying to get a hold of it!'' So that movie was basically what we ended up watching. As I thought, it involved alot of violence and a bit of sex. After 2 hours, she fell asleep. I tried to turn the DVD off, but I didn't want to wake her up. Suddenly, I noticed her muttering my name over and over. It was very sexually exiting and I got a boner. I had to get out of there somehow. I dashed to the toilet and my cousing fell from the couch on the floor.

''Oww... Hey! What's wrong?'' ''Nothing,'' I said back, ''Uhh... I just had to pee.. and you... uh.. in your sleep...'' ''Oh crap... I didn't... Did I?'' ''My name... Yeah... Uh...'' I muttered.

''Fuck... Uhmm... Well... Can't you get out of the bathroom?'' I opened the door and looked in her eyes. They were as blue as the sea. ''This is wrong... I am your cousin...'' I said. ''How about we pretend we aren't for just this one night? Come on... I need this. Let's go upstairs. All I could do is follow her. How couldn't I?

After 5 hours of having sex with my cousin, I came in her ass only to discover something: ''Sam, that was freaking awesome!'' She then replied by saying: ''I'm not Sam!''
He then ripped her mask and revealed himself! ''I AM SEAN CONNERY!! DID YOU SEE ME IN 'FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE'?'' I was in shook. Sean then punched me in the balls and locked himself in the bathroom.

I knew I had to stop his evil powers! I called my good friend Patrick Stewart and informed him of the situation. He was at the door in less than 5 minutes!

''Sean! You can't keep fooling people forever! Get out of there!'' Patrick said, while knocking at the bathroom door. ''Okay, I had enough of this!'' WITH A FLASH OF LIGHT, PATRICK TRANSFORMED INTO THE USS ENTERPRISE-D! HE AIMED HIS LAZOR AT THE BATHROOM AND FIRED AWAY. SEAN GOT LAUNCHED INTO SCOTLAND, WHERE HE CAN NO LONGER HARM ANYONE AGAIN.

THE END
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And yes, I wrote that story. Lulz.