Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

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The stork, thats for sure, but the stork does'nt bring the baby, nope, the stork comes over and makes the baby, with your mother.

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At 4/17/06 08:23 AM, fetusdoctor wrote: I got a riddle:

It's green like the sun;
and red like the trees;
It sings and it dances;
and buzzes like the bees;

What is it?

An acid trip?

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Ron White

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He is male... END OF STORY!!!

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I was pretty bored so I made this thread so I could see what kind of people there are on NG's.

Rules:

- No racist comments.

- No negative remarks.

I guess I will start this off...

I am 25% Italian, 25% Russian, 25% Irish, 25% German.

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Malaysian, eh? Nope never seen it...

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I would pick Wisdom so I could figure out a way to pick Power and Courage also!!!

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Here's the Evil Easter Bunny...

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At 4/16/06 05:20 PM, GSgt_Liberal wrote:

At 4/16/06 01:56 AM, master_of_madness wrote: This kick-ass gun...

That's an anti-tank rifle, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, thanks : )
But do you know what it's called though, like it's model name or somthing?

Ex: 45mm, Desert Eagel, AK-47, etc...

Off Subject- R.P.G. = Rooster Powered Gun

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We interupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin-----

"Atomic Betty Sucks Major ass!!!"

That is all...

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At 4/16/06 04:29 PM, -Hierophant- wrote:

At 4/16/06 04:13 PM, Dumbass_Dude wrote: Was virgin mary one tight bitch?

Aww hell naw floozie johnson, she popped a swerve on yo' ass ev'ry other fuckin' day, then you choked the bitch wit' yo' donkey dick.

Donkey Punch!!! I just had to say that...

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Dr. Phil you up.

(Feel you up)

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A fight scene between Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, Jackie Chan, and Samuel Jackson!!!

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Thanks for the help!

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At 4/16/06 01:56 AM, master_of_madness wrote: This kick-ass gun...

Oh yeah I forgot to add somthing; Does anyone know if that gun is real and if so what is it called?

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I usualy dont go to Church but since today was Easter I did and I have a few questions being respectful in Church...

1. Is it ok to draw during Church?

2. Is it disrespectful to accidently "Doze Off" durring Church? (Near the end)

3. Is it bad to NOT stand up, sing, clap, or pray?

4. And finaly, is it rong to not dress up in a fancy attire when going to Church and just wear what you normaly would wear like it was any other day?

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This kick-ass gun...

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Ready, Aim...

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
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Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
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Broken Bones

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."

The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."

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Great News

My wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about."

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic!

We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to Have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"

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Just Mustard

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

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At 4/13/06 11:48 PM, _Matt_ wrote: The BBS is like a box of chocolates.

So true.

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Light or the sun

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AHHHHH!!!!!

Its a BLUR... Run in fear!!!

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At 4/13/06 06:23 PM, kill343guiltyspark wrote: whats this? it popped up on the stairs and dissapeared?

Oh noes, not a lump!!!

Were all doomed!!!

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It looks like a garden gnome dressed as a ninja to me...

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My fat ninja will beat all of you in one swift attack!!!

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I dont look at hentai and dont look at real porn (anymore), I have sex with the women that I love...

Plain and simple.