Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 9/30/05 05:08 PM, fedges wrote:

Strippers are lame but you get yoself some bling and all the bitches be up in yo grill

Go die.

Yea heroin is so early 90's but crunk is out its all about the chamillionare

Still waiting for you to die.

A corvette IS an expensive car wow no shit! and leopard print spandex is also way too early 90's dude you sound like youv been in a coma sine 1992

Did I say it had to be in good condition? Fuck no. Buy one that doesn't even fucking run.

Yea thats how the pimps roll these days they dont throw parties they just go clubbin and do just about everything you just said. For real go ask the ying yang twinz

You mean, "they go to clubs that only they can get into."

Your being sarcastic right?

You wish.

Gold fronts are by far the coolest thing EVER!!!!

Wrong. Break some teeth playing hockey, then you can call yourself cool.

Also when was the last time you saw a playa like lil John or Mike johns in an addidas track suit? sounds like your still harkin back to your day of 1992

That's all those motherfuckers wear you twat. Besides, I'm blacker than Lil' John.

represent playa

Represent what?

At 9/30/05 03:45 PM, HOLLYWOOD310 wrote: hey fuck you rocker piece of shit

This is a compliment.

that is why the hip hop game is still making more money than all you fucking k rockers, so obviously this makes ppl really care about pimps

People don't care about shit. They don't care about the music, they don't care about the life, and they don't give a fuck about you. They live for that fucking money, I know that. But don't think they give two bricks about anything but themselves. All you do is give them more of what they want. And what do you get? You get fucked out of $25 dollars.

The "passing stranger shuffle?" Yeah, I know that dance well. It's a great opportunity to cop a feel off hotties.

At 9/30/05 03:33 PM, Evil-Geisha-Woman wrote:

rgggh! WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW! My rent was due tommorrow!

You need to chill the fuck out, that's what. Relax. As soon as the new 'lord comes in, just casually give him/her the rent that was missed. No problems.

Shit happens. You just have to hope the new landlord isn't a douche.

I own a $360 pair of jeans that I bought for $70.

That's right. No one cares about how much money you make, how many flatscreens you have in the headrests of your Bentley, or how many carats of diamonds you have on your fucking teeth. No one wants to hear about your bodyguards, bitches, and your $4,000 haircuts/blowjobs that you don't even need because you've got your hair cut to 1/8 of an inch anyway. Fuck you and your money, your lifestyle, and fuck everyone who tries to imitate it. Honestly trying to act like a filthy douche makes you the lowest form of life on the face of the fucking earth. I hope you get run over by a bus.

I can hear it right now...

"Whoa! Chill out MADDOX. Why all the hatin'? Jealous? If being a pimp isn't all that anymore, what is?"

I'll tell you what is gnar-core these days beeyotch. We need to start throwin' way back to the days when people drank, smoked, and fucked anything. The 70's, 80's, hell even the early 90's were more fun than the bullshit that's going on these days.

Out: Showing off your money with gaudy jewlery and cars.
In: Showing off your money to strippers, then shoving it in their asses.

Out: Crunk juice, crunk, getting crunk. So. Fucking. Lame.
In: Heroin, and lots of it. OD'd on heroin? Only one cure for that. MORE HEROIN.

Out: Expensive cars.
In: One word: Corvette. Get a bright red Stingray and have a girl in a bra and leopard-print spandex to roll around on the hood. Fucking win.

Out: House parties with Cristal, and stipper poles.
In: Taking the party outside to the clubs and bars. See how many beers you can drink, people you can fight, and titties you can get in your face. Moderation doesn't exist.

Out: Being black. I'm not being a racist, just stop acting black no matter what colour you are.
In: Being as white as humanly possible. And then trying to be whiter than that. You know what I mean. Mullets are no longer taboo. Car in pieces on the lawn? Fuck yeah. Gun collections? Right on. Pro wrestling? Only if you participate.

Adidas tracksuits are for joggers. False teeth, no matter how jewel-encrusted, are for OLD PEOPLE. You want to wear $50,000 dollars around your neck? Fine. If I find you dead I'm taking it and making a beeline for the pawn shop. Trash all that shit and get back to what really matters. Being a drunken, drug-addled, oversexed white-trash bastard that all the kids in the trailer park look up to.

At 9/30/05 11:39 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: Please give some constructive criticism. I've done a lot of work on this in the past, so its likely I will do some more in the future... Completly reversed a character.

Fan-fuckin'-tastic. Infintely better than the earlier version. This would make an excellent entry into a short-story contest or publication. I enjoyed reading that much more this time around because there was more substance. The characters seemed much more dimensional, as well as the settings and situations. I noticed a spelling error ("see you latter") as well as a missed contraction that would have kept then flow of the story going ("What is wrong?). It's little things like that you really need to keep a close eye out for, because they sometimes bring the reader's mind to a grinding halt thinking "that should be something else." But I won't hold it against you. It's only the Internet.

Again, far and above better than before. Do these kinds of revisions on all your stories.

At 9/29/05 03:36 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote: Pfft, you know how bread always lands butter side down?
And how cats always land on their feet?
If you glue a slice of buttered toast to a cat's back then it will float in perpetual indecision.

I thought is was just two cats taped back-to-back.

Either way I suppose.

Pretty funny, until you used "slappers." Use terms that everyone finds amusing, and don't just pander to you funny-talkers.

At 9/29/05 03:03 PM, Britkid wrote: Much thought went into this thread.

It's for your own good...

It was a fluke. Your methods aren't scientific enough to blind anyone.

Why would you go anywhere near this? Who cares? Some people eat meat, some don't. o people think it's wrong, others think it's okay. So only eat fish, eggs, chicken, or break some other non-existant rules. As long as you don't try and tell me that my way is wrong, you can eat or not eat whatever the fuck you want.

Newgrounds is committed to quality and safety (or degeneracy and sinning, I forget). It has been determined that some users require re-education in order to bring the Newgrounds BBS up to its previous level of excellence. The following will allow you to identify these users, club them with a stick, and remove them from the Internet until they are all fixed up in their head. This quality inspection program comes at no cost to you, the responsible user. Everyone else, invest in a helmet because we're going to bash you.

Some users conceived during the years 1989-2005 may cause unnecessary arguments and flame wars, the end result being bans and looking like an all-around douche. To prevent this, all users falling into this category will, again, be beaten with sticks until they get it. To save labour costs, wild monkeys will be administering the beating. Rabies is not covered in this recall.

Some users may also feel a slight burning or stinging behind their eyes while reading posts of a controvertial or opinionated nature. These users are classed as "taking this way to seriously." Beatings will be delivered, but by people in clown suits and mascot costumes. In the case that these kinds of outfits are a sexual turn-on for the beatee, the monkeys will be substituted.

Other users in need of fixing can be identified as follows: wearing a t-shirt with either a common "Internet-ism" like "ROFL" or similar acronyms, using the Internet while under the use of drugs (namely weed, because weed is for losers), advertising their own school-project forum in the hopes that it will become the next NGBBS, quoting persons you don't know, naming events you weren't alive for, talking smack about an album or movie you've never actually listened to or watched, using emoticons with annoying regularity (more than twice a day), having intimate relations (either real or imagined) with another user, or just driving other users to the point where they fall into one of the above categories and need to be fixed as well.

Once you have identified a user in need of recall, there are two courses of action. 1. Take it upon yourself to find and administer the proper procedure to get the user in working order again. Or 2. Notify myself or someone of like-minded authority, and beatings will be administered.

In extreme cirumstances, the defective user must be mailed to a special camp in eastern Tibet. The packing and shipping of these users is paid for by the government, and could hypothetically be done to anyone we damn well please.

In extremely sexy circumstances, the defective user will be mailed to my house, offered a candle-lit dinner, dessert, and a roll in the sack. If that doesn't fix them, nothing will, and they will be put to sleep (and by this, I mean beat to death by stick-wielding monkeys).

Thank you for taking the time to see if you know a user in need of a serious recall, and thank you for being a responsible user. Unless you aren't. Then get ready for the monkeys.

It's been so long since I've posted here. I don't even really have the energy to look up just how long. Screw it. I've been busy with work, girls, and other beautiful annoyances. It's been a tough...however long it's been.

(American Idiot is still the worst album of all time though.)

I hope I can drag myself back into this, although I'll have to make it much, much less frequent than I'd like. Oh well. I don't have to apologize to you jerks for anything.

Runaway Train People

We know who we are, and what we stand for. But standing still is just too much of a chore. We give new meaning to wanting. A new meaning to wanting something more.
All the time running, but never getting tired. Full of steam and power simply pointed nowhere.

END. CUT.

Sorry. I've got to stop this shit right here before I ruin it. The idea is fucking brilliant (in my head at least). I can't bear to watch myself destroy it like this with this shit writing. I must be too tired from work. Fuck. I'm leaving itup and making a note to myself to come back to it in a couple of days, and mold it into something half-decent. Until then, I'm either just going to post more nonsense on the General board, or just fuck all of it for today and go to bed. I'll try and catch up with you guys again later, finish this piece, as well as add some side notes on how I came around to it.

Uh. I need to start drinking again.

It's not a game. Just an amusement for simple folk. Either that or something to scare the shit out of people who have their speakers turned up too loud. People would just cheat at your "game" anyway by taping down the mouse button and the tab key, then walking away for a few hours.

Youngsters eh? Fifteen isn't that old you know. Fuck, nineteen isn't either! And if you're lying about your real age, that's just as bad. You'd have some serious Peter Pan syndrome going on.

In essence, you just lost respect for yourself. Better make it all better by jumping in front of a delivery truck headed to your local Hot Topic, or something equally "youngster" oriented.

At 9/24/05 10:59 PM, seyton1 wrote:

Wait a minute. Your 19. are you in college or still in high school? if your in college then how did she get in? if your in highschool then what are you doing still there? if your that old and in high school i'd be scared to ask her age.

I only took a year of college. That's where I met her. We were both in the same Physics class together. It's not like she incredibly dumb. She just can't keep up with me, or stay on the same page that I am.

At 9/24/05 10:49 PM, mastermd wrote: heh good man ,manman good man indead if you cant love them for being killer good looking then what love will they get right?

Probably lots. You don't sound old enough to be in on this. I'm not some kind of chauvinist or something. I'm just getting some hot fun while the getting's good. We both know it can't last forever, so it's mutual hot fun/

every one else chillout shes most likely only atracted to him too

Everyone seems pretty calm so far. Are you high?

Is there even a right way to respond to this? I hope so. Skynyrd does rule, and getting loaded like a freight train... well I guess that's okay too. Stay loose Funk. Stay loose.

At 9/24/05 10:41 PM, NOIR_ wrote: yo alt of girs are like this u just gota takewat u can or else it ant fukin worth taklin to them in te firs place .

Are your fingers broken?

At 9/24/05 10:40 PM, Pilot-Doofy wrote: Well, you're 19 so I'd say go for it. You only live once and you'll never be young again. Go for the hottie, but don't think about marrying her.

Wouldn't dream of it bro. Just in it to win it. And by "it," you know I mean pussy.

You'd have to ask the immortal consciousness that spawned layer by layer in your country's government.

At 9/24/05 10:36 PM, Pilot-Doofy wrote: You'll find out later in your maturity stages that intelligence comes at a much higher notch when you're looking for a wife than looks.

I don't doubt that for a second. I rank intelligence higher than looks right now anyway. The fact of the matter is now I know why someone would put boobies over brains.

At 9/24/05 10:27 PM, Evark wrote: Plus, it's a great way to meet the people in your residence hall on your floor that you still haven't laid eyes on despite being here for 3+ weeks.

When they assault you with brooms for making such a god-damn racket? Sounds interesting enough, but I have neither the halls nor the frisbees to try it with. Both must be obtained, but how?

It sounds like bowling with the bumpers up. Fun because you can intentionally suck and still hit something. But lame because you look like a 'tard doing it.

At 9/24/05 10:02 PM, seyton1 wrote:

At 9/24/05 09:58 PM, Shrapnel wrote:

Show us pictures of her and tell us how you bang her every which way.

= ( I can't believe a mod said that...

...what Shrapnel said...

Believe it monkey boy.

As for the picture, I don't got one. Sketchy, I know. Am I telling the truth? Is she real, did I make her up? No. Are you going to be skeptical anyway? Probably. I would too. That's why I wish I had a picture of her. Oh well.

And as for the banging. Yeah, there's banging.

At 9/24/05 08:58 PM, -Buddhist- wrote:

At 9/24/05 08:46 PM, -Manman- wrote: Is my neck red yet?

That isn't a redneck song. It's about the deaths of Richie Valens, Buddly Holly, and The Big Bopper.

I don't get your "point." What makes it a redneck song is the primary audience. Namely, rednecks. It doesn't matter what it was originally written about. It's who's ears it actually hits.

At 9/24/05 09:26 PM, That-Is-Bull wrote: People like that are used for porn. Just break up with her and hope one day you see her on the intarweb. But until then get a girl that has a brain, it's good to be able to talk to them without their heads exploding when they hear the word "intellegent."

I've had that. But girls like that move too fast for me. They have all these great aspirations of going to college and moving away to another country, and I just can't follow them. The girl I was with before is now taking a two-year class in another province, and then she's going to open her own ranch/riding arena. I could go with her because I wasn't ready. Now she's got someone else, and I'm still busting my ass at a warehouse.

I like a girl that can be on the same page as I am when we talk. With this one, we're never on the same page, ever.

Unless you're an idiot too. Then it all works out.

I hope I'm not.

At 9/24/05 09:26 PM, -Painkiller- wrote: Is she blonde?

I don't like blondes. That would be strike three, and I wouldn't even consider her. Even if she was, it wouldn't explain the dumbness.

At 9/24/05 09:18 PM, Grim-Reaper999 wrote: That's very low of you, only sticking around her and making her think you love her, yet you only care for her looks. Very shallow of you.

I've never even thought about using the word "love" around her, ever. I take that word way too seriously to even consider it. I know I don't love her. I know I never will, and so does she. We're just having fun, and that's as far as our relationship will go.

It's just that of all the knives in the drawer, she a spoon.