At 8/1/03 05:20 PM, Lurker_X wrote:

At 8/1/03 05:13 PM, Blademasta wrote: How the fuck did this thread get revived....

I'm going to revive it in two years just to piss people off. OMG I SHOULD BE BANXORED!!!! WADE!! WAAADE!

You didn't think I'd do it. Booyah.

I'm going to vote Batman. Jesus is a hippie, and less likely to cheat.

This -girl- is right, nobody is nice on the BBS anymore. Myself included. Here's a good joke:

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car?
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She was a woman.

I've been slapped so many times. If you've heared it before, and feel like bitching about it:

At 8/1/03 07:12 PM, lucky_stryke wrote: dude, wth are u talking about???

Another useless topic hein?

I agree.

An "interstate" highway is funded with federal money. They also have those crazy little reflector things running down the middle of the road, for some reason.

At 8/1/03 01:42 PM, rook_man wrote: tim burtons not exactly someone you'd associate with a movie like Willy Wonka...

Neither is Dahl. The book is about SATAN.

At 8/1/03 05:13 PM, Blademasta wrote: How the fuck did this thread get revived....

I'm going to revive it in two years just to piss people off. OMG I SHOULD BE BANXORED!!!! WADE!! WAAADE!

At 8/1/03 04:10 PM, _miles_ wrote:

At 8/1/03 03:36 PM, Cheeseypeas12000 wrote: What is the worst ever food?

USE PROPER ENGLISH! its what is the worst food ever! for christ sakes!

How about

"Use proper English! It's 'What is the worst food, ever?', for Christ's sake!"

At 8/1/03 12:28 PM, wismty wrote:

Watch the date of the first post, don't bring topics that old back to life with out a point

Okay, how about this. . .when the hell did the clocks become cool???

Let me change that to "popular".

Some of those were made up by dudes with websites, but most were real quotes. At any rate, that dude needs to come to America, surrender, be pardoned, and get his own sitcom and/or game show.

At 7/27/03 02:21 PM, Ozcar wrote: And why no one has talked about John Bolton? He's a good or a bad guy for you?

You think he's evil because he wants to stop nuclear weapons? I gather that you're foriegn, and I hope that I'm just mis-reading your post.

Michael Moore is a failed comedian who thinks he's a politician now. His TV show was cancelled on more than one network. He did win an oscar, but that will probably be revoked, since he won for the Documentary catagory, and his movie was mostly fiction. He then proceeded to make a speech about how he loves the truth, and how anyone who lies is horrible. But his movie is mostly lies. I don't think he's a hypocrite, I think he's joking. Everyone hated Andy Kaufman for a long time, because they didn't get the joke. Andy did it better than Michael Moore is doing it, if that is indeed what he's doing. If he's not joking, then he -is- a hypocrite, which makes him. . .well. . .red blooded American, baby!!!
Here in America, we like red meat, we like football (REAL football, not gay-ass David Beckham football), we like porno, and we like to blow shit up. Call us fat, lazy, stupid, ignorant. . .whatever. We still own more of the world than England did at the height of it's empire, we still control who buys what from whom, and we still have the military power to blow the shit out of anybody who tries to mess with us. Or anybody we FEEL like. Woo HOO! We invented cowboys. We -are- cowboys. And you know what? At the end of the day, chicks still dig cowboys, even the ones who pretend they're intellectual, so EAT IT forigners. We stole this country fair and square, and that makes us BETTER THAN YOU.

There, do you get it now, with the hypocricy and the humor? It's only funny if people beleive it, and really, it's only funny to those who don't. Michael Moore is probably laughing his ass off every time he sees people making a big fuss over him.

On a lighter note, turns out that France, Russia, and Jordan all violated the UN Weapons embargo by selling rockets, guns, and other military equipment to Iraq after 1991. Some people might be pissed about this, but we break all kinds of laws, too. We still won, so no harm, no foul, eh? Eh there, pooty poot?

Or just do a Final Fantasy parody with the clocks as characters. SBC can find out he's just a clone, and the evil Turnip Clock will be his. . .BROTHER! Oh no! It's time to cast METEO. . .

. . .-clock!

At 7/23/03 10:19 PM, Some_G wrote: That'd be fun to have a threesome with 2 bisexual girls. That way, everyone would do everyone and have fun. Then I could dress up as a woman and we'd start a whole new cycle of fun.

If you think "ruining a relationship" is fun, then go ahead. Otherwise, it'll just screw everything up. Only do it if you're A: drunk, and you B: don't care that you'll be breaking up with your girlfriend soon, and won't sleep with either of them ever again.

At 7/22/03 11:15 PM, Freakapotimus wrote: I believe I was the first girl to come out as bi on the BBS, but since then every other girl that's posted has said they were bi as well, so it's really not a big deal anymore. I hate it, actually, because it leads other people to the "OMG U WANT ATENTOIN!!!1!" theory.

No, I won't be in a threesome with you and your "curious" girlfriend.
No, I don't want to fuck everything that breathes.
No, I'm not a fence-sitter, I understand my sexuality, thank you.
No, I'm not bi just to be "cool".

Gah, I hate stereotypes. I hate people who live up to them. They make the rest of us look bad.

All chicks are bi, which makes sense, unless you think about it. At first, it seems only logical, since chicks are much better looking than guys. And they smell better, too. But then I started to actually think, and that theory came crashing down around me.

Myself, I am not gay. I do envy gay dudes, however. I would totally be gay, and I bet I'd give great BJ's, too. Only problem is, I have this horrible aversion to putting a wang in my mouth. I say this, that I envy gay dudes, because I've known a lot of women. I've grown up with a lot of women. So I know that they are all insane. Now, why would a woman, who -knows- what she and the rest of her gender are like, want to be with another woman? It just confuses me.
I'm asexual. Out and proud. Not straight, and not gay, like this guy here.

Barnyard Shenanigans, hands down.

At 7/22/03 04:28 PM, WadeFulp wrote: Canadians are Americans. Do you mean USA vs. Canada?

Wade, your hammer of Knowledge and Justice humbles me. But c'mon. . .do you really think these people have that much knowledge of geography? I just speak in TV language, and they understand.

And of course, other readers, I'm not talking about -you- when I say those things. Only about people you don't like.

At 7/22/03 03:35 PM, TheAnarchyPenguin wrote:

Lurker was here a year before you.

Someone missed the satire class in Sophmore English.

I'm glad someone around here pays attention.

No. Annoying Americans who don't know anything about Canada vs. Annoying Canadians who don't know anything about America. Shut the fuck up and smell the maple nut crunch.

FINAL ANSWER

That was the cartoon where their arch nemesis was a masturbating banana, right?

Whatever happened to Lurker X? He sucked, anyway.

At 7/22/03 01:55 PM, TheAnarchyPenguin wrote: Since when did people with a bit of sense start comming to NG? Big Rich and Thor Falcon must be in bizarro world.

The end is nigh! ALL HAIL BIG RICH!

Don't tease.

I only like canned corn when it's got some butter mixed in, and the water has been drained. But if it -has-. . .yummah in mah tummah! I like Corn on the Cob just fine and dandy, as well.

I also like a grit now and again. But creamed corn is out, my friends.

Yay, more dead people.

Seriously, the world needs a good sweeping. Anyone who wants to kill people based on their beleifs gets killed. I guess that means me, too, since I want to kill people who beleive we should kill people based on their beleifs. But it's my idea, so fuckit.

Also, Good Charolette can go at any time. I don't want them to die. . .but planes crash all the time. . .why can't they die?

Why, Big Rich, why!?!?

People don't hop onto little home-made rafts that will probably sink and say "Man, I've got to get away from America!". People come -to- America. They don't go to Canada, because the only country near Canada is. . .America. They'd be fine with Canada, though. As far as they're concerned, the only difference between America and Canada, is that Canada is colder than a witch's tit most of the year. They don't give a crap about free health care (since Bush gives them free health care while neglecting the needs of the legal citizens, and keeping Canadian immigrants out, but hey, he's not pandering to the Canadian vote).

As for Terrorists, they attack places like the WTC, the White House, the Pentagon. The odds of them saying "lets kill all the NG forum users" are pretty low. What, are they going to hijack another plane? That doesn't work anymore. Last time it was tried, the dude was almost beaten to death before the plane landed.

Candaians (and I spend a good deal of time there myself) have a strange thing going, and most Americans don't understand it. . .Canadians are looking for their IDENTITY. It pisses them off, because basically they're the "colder, slightly cleaner America", and they want to be something -different-. But if they -really- wanted to be different, they would, so instead they go on and on about how America is stupid, and Americans are lazy and arrogant, while they buy our stuff, go to our movies, watch our TV shows, and otherwise innundate themselves with "our" culture. But it's not "our" culture, really. It's a shared culture, because a whole lot of it comes from Canada to begin with. They don't seem to bother to think about that, though. I spent my childhood watching SCTV and The Kids in The Hall. Canadian. I'm sure a lot of the kids on this forum just LOVE Jim Carey, and he's definately a part of our culture. Canadian. Basically, Canada gives us Funny. We give them fast food. Then they make fun of us for eating a lot of fast food, go to the A&W for a burger, and shop at Wal-Mart for a lot of American made goods.

Americans, on the other hand, don't give a shit about Canada until they start to knock -us-. But Canada shouldn't feel bad about that, because we don't really give a shit about -anyone-. We just want to do our thing, drink our beer (Canada has better beer, BTW, and the drunken Americans among us would do good by realizing that fact), and relax. I live in Florida. You think I give a fuck about Georgia? You think people in Georgia give a fuck about people in South Carolina? I don't even care about my next-door neighbor, except when he calls me at two in the morning because someone stole his heroin and he wants to know if I saw anyone snooping around his house. Meh.

Americans: Chill out
Canadians: Lighten up

Of course, none of this applies to Quebec, which hates both Americans AND Canadians.

No.

At 7/22/03 01:17 PM, Feelfree wrote:

1-1 = 1-1
1x(1-1)ZERO = 1²-1² ZERO
1x(1-1)ZERO = (1-1)ZERO.(1+1)ONE
1 = 1+1 No. 0 = 0 x 1
0 = 0

If I'm wrong, please let me know..

Letting you know.

I'd do her. Now give me that fucking lollipop!

At 7/22/03 01:06 PM, NECOCLOCK wrote: actually if u saw the commercial canada has the best childern's education in the world

AH HA HA HA! That's GREAT! You misspelled "children's", didn't capitalize the sentence, and didn't use the commas or the period required to punctuize the sentence properly. I love it. Education. Heh. If TV says it, then it MUST BE TRUE!

Canada is great, but you're still an idiot.

Weed is legal in one Canadian city. In most of the rest of the country, it's been decriminized. You get caught with it, you get a fine. You get caught with it enough, you go to jail. This keeps stupid stoner kids out of jail and in their parents' basement, where they belong, and it keeps pot dealers selling pot. Unlike in Amsterdam, where the pot dealers have moved on to selling kids exstacy and heroin. The Lawmakers in Amsterdam are kicking themselves pretty hard right now, but there's no way they can ever fix it. Prohibition didn't work here, either. Once people have whatever drug they like, they're keeping it.

The Canadian police hate weed because the people who grow it sell it to Americans. Only thing is, American guns are worth more than American money, so they trade the weed for guns, and then sell the guns to people in Canada. So, indirectly, weed is killing Canadians. Hah, eat it, stoners.

At 7/21/03 07:43 PM, Aragorn_Elessar wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/search.php?kind=b&terms=desktop come on now, its not that hard to find.

It is when you don't try.

My old desktop.