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Not knowing your terms doesn't make us ignorant, it just means we don't give a fuck about your culture or what you crooked toothed people call things.

If you come to America and say that chips and fishy crisp fried tits shit I won't just snicker at my table like you pussy english (doesn't even deserve to be capitalized) I'll get up and piledrive your ass!

You couldn't even keep control of us with 4x as many troops and more efficient weaponry during the revolutionary war. You're like the grandma of America that is in a nursing home lying in bed all day that just needs to be shot.

acting like the stereotypical american portrayal is fun

Seeing as how I got top notch immune system, strength, agility, and mental genetics I'd probably take role as the breeder. On off time I'd help doing jobs that take heavier lifting than all the weaklings around me can do and I'd probably lead the looting raids.

At 12/31/09 01:06 AM, slayer1029 wrote: I took a freaky shit today. I looked into the bowl and I swear it looked like Jesus on the cross.

You should sell it on ebay.

At 12/25/09 04:26 PM, Leo625 wrote: However if I could modify it anyway I wanted I'd give myself spitting snake venom that'll burn someones eyes and melt their face, the legs of a kangaroo, the arms of a Silverback gorilla, bat-like webbings between my arms and legs allowing me to fly, the back and neck muscles of a bull, and the penis of a whale. I'd be so badass.

Could one of you fine young gentlemen photoshop what this might look like if I provide you with a face shot.

I have a great metabolism and workout almost everyday so I'm not too concerned about my body or the shape I'm in. However if I could modify it anyway I wanted I'd give myself spitting snake venom that'll burn someones eyes and melt their face, the legs of a kangaroo, the arms of a Silverback gorilla, bat-like webbings between my arms and legs allowing me to fly, the back and neck muscles of a bull, and the penis of a whale. I'd be so badass.

Go to a rock concert and walk all the way through the moshpit and back, you'll not only technically lose your virginity but also have have every orifice of your body repeatedly violated.

I think Aquarius sounds fitting is kinda catchy. Scientific version can be Aquarius Orgondas.

At 12/18/09 10:47 AM, physicsman09 wrote:

At 12/18/09 10:45 AM, esko-man wrote: We don't have snow here in the US..

Freaking Southerners.

I live in the far south (SC) and we usually get atleast one good snow every year. Last year we had such a heavy snow we made an 8 foot snowman just from the snow on my porch.

I can say from experience this is very true. For the first several attempts at sex I had alot of trouble getting it up at all then if I kinda did the friction was so much less than with my hand it just didn't give me much feeling. I was attracted as hell to the girl though and through foreplay I'd be hard the whole time but once it got time to start penetrating I lost it pretty quick. We were both virgins though and she was pretty understanding about it and bore with me.
But I stopped masturbating all together and I found after you held out from it for awhile it increases pleasure, sensitivity, and ability to keep it up whilst bumping uglies. Now whenever I'm with a girl and were about to go at it I get it up almost immediately and keep it up for a loong time. However the only problem it gives you is making you cum alot faster.

You should be a drug dealer that sounds like the perfect market strategy drug. To get your younger customer base you use the coating of pop rocks to reel them in, the creamy heroin center to keep them coming back, and the acid to keep them from asking questions.

At 12/15/09 01:23 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 12/15/09 01:16 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:

believe it or not there are good people in the world who you lift you up and help you.

If I'd of been there I'd of pretended to be helping you up but pick pocketed everything you had on you then when I was lifting you up I'd cop a few feels. If no one else was around there might be rape somewhere in that mix too.

i keed.... or does i

These stories so far are a little too long for our blazed readers to be able to make it through so I'm gonna keep mine short and sweet.

Me, brother, and some of his friends go outside to smoke a joint and decide to smoke it on this street through some fields and woods. In this area there's basically no street lights whatsoever and the moon wasn't out so it was pretty much pitch dark outside. We're smokin and a cop drives by and slams on his brakes and we scatter. Four of us are way the hell out of there almost immediately and eventually meet back up at my house thanks to us all being in shape and knowing the area well. But we realized our fat friend was missing. After that we're just watching from my windows (through the 1-way blinds) as the cop spotlights all the woods and yards around that area, funnily enough he pulled into the driveways of my neighbors on both sides of me but never my house. He never actually got out of his car though. After about 2 hours the cops gone and we're all freaking out thinkin he caught our other friend, who had alot of pills on him which can be some pretty serious charges.
About 4 hours from when we first ran our fat friend finally shows up completely covered in leaves and other shit. He said he just couldn't run anymore and thought he was gonna die so in the confusion jumped in a ditch deep in the woods and tried to cover himself as best he could.
Ok that wasn't that short but fuck it I'm blazed

Never tried it sounds good though. But I think I'd rather stick with my egg, bacon, cheese, and maple syrup (inbetween every layer of ingredient) inbetween two pancakes. Just like the Mcgriddle except kinda good for you because it's not just a bunch of artificial synthetic shit.

Actually it's impossible to die by just holding your breath, you'll just pass out and start breathing normally again.

Probably the free prostate exam I got, for some reason though before he told me the results he just ran out of the alleyway, hope I don't got cancer .

At 12/11/09 10:02 PM, XxRobJohnsonxX wrote: MsPaint + www.iaza.com
The only image editing tools you will ever need.

That's a pretty nifty little site.

In my opinion, anyone who keeps claiming its a rocket, producing that perfect spiral, vivid colours, hundreds if not thousands of witnesses who aren't crazy, and our intellect to compare to other failed rockets and comparing and realizing this must be the most epic of epicest rocket failures - is out of his mind, and lives in unconscious denial.

I'm not saying it's a stargate, I'm not sayin it's anything, but I'm WAY more inclined to believe its something other than a friggin failed out of control rocket the Russians denied immediately, then later conveniently took blame for.

It'll be funny if he get's a huge fine since the mother will be the one left having to pay it, also I hope she realizes that doing this to his record could eliminate his chance of getting certain jobs in the future.

Here's another video of the exact same phenomenon occurring like 3 years ago. If you watch the videos of the one just sighted then watch this one you'll know they're the same deal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV08q4SCa BQ

It almost looks like a projection due to the blue spiral appearing to come down to a single concentrated point on the ground, perhaps it's a test run of project blue beam technology? Also here's a really good link with alot of pics , videos, and more info.

At 12/9/09 03:06 AM, Usernamemyarse wrote: same thing from NRK, the leading news-channel in norway: http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/nordl and/1.6902336

How about a source that isn't in freaky deeky dutch!

That's definitely shopped, nice try though.

Stars are just atoms that compose a much larger being we call god. Think about it, atoms are composed of the same elements as stars and like stars are suspended in vastly bigger open spaces.

Just fill it in with sharpie and people will never even notice!

Happy BIrthday!! Doubt Shitonastick will be seeing this though seeing as how she choked on some old crusted poutine and died about a month or so ago.

At 11/29/09 06:08 PM, Lemmiwinks91 wrote:

At 11/29/09 06:01 PM, Leo625 wrote:

Lol are you joking?!? seriously!?!?

cats run around streets all the time not even supervised by people, let alone a child!

Should be more like, you need to keep better control of your car. it's not hard, two hands on the steering heel, and two eyes on the road.

I Still had my peripherals on the road and was staying in my lane so I had control of my car. Bottom line is, is if you don't control your pets and allow them to go in the road then there's a good chance theyre gonna get hit.

Well today me and my cousin were on the way home from eating and I decided to go the backroad way through some neighborhoods. At one point I decided to start looking for something on the radio when my cousin looks up from texting and screams " Watch out"! Before I can react I hear a loud thud followed by a loud shriek. For a split second I thought I hit a little kid or something but my cousin starts yelling I hit a cat. When I look in my rear view mirror I see a little girl running to a corpse in the middle of the road while screaming with her heads above her head.
I wasn't about to stop or anything since I knew the cat was done for and I couldn't help change that but I felt like shit after wards. It didn't help that the little girl had to watch the whole thing. But she needs to learn to keep better control of her pets.
Any similar experiences?

Wll test results are in... I got Critical Reading- 530, Math-510, Writing- 500 ... So 1540. Enough To get into the college I wanted and get the life scholarship :-D

I still felt like i could of done alot better though so I'm gonna retake it. Not bad for a 5-year stoner who was partially high and hung over when taking the test though right?

Well I'm getting my SAT score at midnight and I'm pretty nervous. I got alot riding on it, it's gotta be above like a 1300 to get to the college my friends are at so I can move in with them. However I felt like shit the morning I took it, took no preparations, ended up running out of time on the math sections causing me to have to fill in alot of random bubbles, and am pretty sure I did pretty horrible.

So NG how shitty did you score on the SAT and what preparations did you take?

Lube, so she can use her flute for what it was intended for.