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I would punch the bat, splinter it, and stab you in the face with the splinters

At 10/20/10 05:33 PM, MisterWonderful wrote:

At 10/20/10 11:13 AM, HayBayBee wrote:

No you see i've always been a woman i was just having fun the two times then i wanted to be myself so then i said i killed myself so that someone on this forum would get sad that i know in real life and he didn't he was just like whatever i'm still not giving you a baby so then now i am myself and now i don't know i'll have a baby with muyburrito or some shit he lives near me.

if this is the truth, then post a picture of yourself with a sign that says "I am Mr wonderful" and post it here

WHO FUCKING KILLED THE RIENDEER?

Banned? He didn't get banned for it. We just locked his first topic, that's all.

we know what you really did...

we know.

I was sleeping on the couch, and woke up to screaming around the room when i saw on the TV a plane crash into one of the towers. I told my family to STFU and that it was just a movie, but then I saw it was a news channel and i shat a brick

since then, i wont touch a plane

bah you will be fine most likley

12 year old freind of mine had 3 tumors in his brain, they operated on him, hes a midgeot with skin cancer, but his head is fine. Hes expected to live to 60.

In California, its illigal to put a baby up for adoption. For women who are raped, live alone or belive in a childs right to live, it seems that the only way for them to keep a living breathing baby alive is to hurt the child in someway, so it goes into custody and the woman goes to jail. This is the case for most situations. They do something to get themselves pute in jail so they can get rid of the child, usualy destroying their entire life.

Well, I will just ignore the part about you talking about the terrorist bullshit and the fucking internet service and say none of this was there.

I would bring, exactly in this order from my house

my 20 kit box of matches.
1 canned spagetios
1 utility knife
My jacket.
My school backpack.
A lightwheight shirt
A light pair of pants, probably my cargo pants (Pre-made camo, factory made)
A flashlight with 2 spare sets of batteries

Thats all I would take. Travel light so you can cover more ground in a night. If you need supplies, raid shops or ask others for food or money or items. Carrying a weapon is dangerous, others might percive you as a threat. If you carry small food, you will lose nothing if they deside to rob you. If your in desperate need of supplies, raid next door neighbors houses. Try to find a radio. A radio will allow you to listen in for help signals, distress calls and goverment aid facilities. Most likely others will not go batshit insane (If there are any other survivors, chances are you will be one in a thousand, not much luck finding other people) If you find a working car, take it. It will be usefull for a while. If you cant find the keys, look inside nearby houses. There is a chance you will find dead corpses (As unsanitary it would be) and dig through there clothes to find the keys, though, from the heat, it is doubtfull any keys would survive the blast.

Depending how close you are to the center of the explosion, it may be wise to stay inside for a few days untill the radioactivity dies down. That means close windows and doors, build a small fort inside your room with supplies and stay down. If you have a radio, use it. Most likely the EMP will have destroyed it, but its worth a shot. Phone lines will probably be down, so I would doubt you could call freinds or family.

After the days are up, leave your pillow fort with minimal supplies, dont wear yourself down with camping equipment. If you need somewere to sleep, sleep inside of a house or a hotel. Watch out for rabid dogs. If you find a rabid animal, you are best off backing away slowly. Dont panic. Running in fear causes most animals to chase after you. Chances are, tehy might be scared, If the dog is smaller then you, stomp your foot at it and yell to make it run away.

Also, never doubt other survivors. If they are insane, stay away. You can tell if a man is insane by there spiraling eyes and funny walking patterns, usual signs of drunkness. If they yell out to you irationaly, its best not to talk to them. If you find a survivor hideout, which is unlikley, as human nature tends to have us, when disorganized and lost, walk around and explore alot, be freindly as possible. Offer your food, supplies, or just help around. Look for signs of sickness. There are no doctors in this future world, or rare that there are, so be verry fit on higene. Place a bucket below you, get inside the bucket, and poor water over yourself. Then, re-bottle the used water, for emergency supplies. Better to be sick then to dehydrate. Eat soft foods that can easly get through your stomach. Hard foods are more likley to cause sickness, as you will have minor raditiation poisoning no matter what you do. Remeber, whatever happens, dont give up hope. The future of your survival depends on what you do.

If faced with a dangerous person, aka, someone with a weapon traversing the streets, first give off a warning call, like a bird sound of a horn. If he raises his gun, hes a dangerous person and shouldnt be trusted. If he looks around with his gun down, he may be freindly. Taking the risk is fine, as cannabilism is not likley, and just shooting survivors is usualy against human nature as well.

Follow these tips and you should be able to survive :)

Hope you enjoyed!
-killinkyle

At 10/17/10 11:39 PM, narf wrote: Camping's a legit strategy. The military calls it "not being a dumb ass".

irl soldiers dont apear in front of the enemys gun. in war, you cant hide behind someones base and expect them to just walk around like normal with bullets going off.

Calling that a legit stratagy is fucking retarded.

Civ 4 was much better IMO, the only thing I liked about 5 was more units per squad, but that can be looked over because of the fucking terrible gameplay

They took away everything that made 4 complicated and fun, and replaced it with mind numbing "kill kill kill" or "durp hurp durp" quests. City states are a fucking joke, and the other countrys just sit like rotten eggs all day.

I call in round two as well!

Wait... fucking post counts...

Alright, obviously, you make some very good points. I did go overboard there, but im just very angry and confused about there decsioson to move Crysis 2 onto the Xbox360.

If you want an example of a bad console port, play... Halo 2. Again, I bring up a halo game, but its so hard to get through a conversation without mentioning the history behind this series. Its gone through so many rips and terrors that the game has just turned to shit. The controles were litterly ported, and you could still see the A and B, Y and Z buttons on the screen.

And my graphics point is that, the reason Crysis 2 was popular, besides it great physics engine, was its graphics. A turning point in the world for graphics, it was revolutionary. I fear that the Xbox 360, which cant handle the kind of graphics played on a PC, will downgrade Crysis 2 into another MW2 clone (In terms of graphics). If you want a thought into this, the games graphics are the same as most shooters this age, More light. Yes, thats right, they spam there games with huge light and reflection effects, because somehow, making it look like your charrechter is a living light bulb will make the game better. A prime example of this, once again, is halo 3. This game over did it with lighting effects. You couldnt go two feet without running into an eye blinding sun reflection. It was rediculous.

Crysis two was a great game because its graphics were realistic. Not to bright, but not to dark either. The atmosphere really gave you the feeling of jungle, and the gameplay really added to this.

I fear that in the future, the game will be downgraded from the last to fit the xbox.

At 10/14/10 05:52 PM, KeroKeroMario wrote:

At 10/14/10 02:08 PM, Killinkyle wrote: Gaylo

Living proof that all of your credibility went down the drain. You obviously never touched a console and are a PC fanboy who doesn't appreciate console games. Guess what? Both PC games and console games have exclusives and fun games that you can't have vice versa, so stop being a stuck-up prick and play games over all platforms. You aren't a true gamer. You're just acting like a lousy fanboy who will never appreciate gaming because you're too uptight to play games on consoles.

I've played on PC and consoles, and I have to say that both are extremely fun to play and both have their ups and downs about them. But criticizing consoles because you're butthurt since Crysis is going multiplatform is stupidity at best. Same goes for console idiots who think PC is asinine. But go ahead, call me a console fanboy (even though I play PC), call me whatever you want. Unless you appreciate and enjoy all games despite platform, you will never be a real gamer.

What I read from that post: "Hurp durp I play console so obviously i know everything about gaming your not true gamer till you buy 500 dollar block of shit to play games, HALO REWLS"

Let me tell you something buddy, halo went down the shithole after halo 2. Xbox 360 is a load of shit, and I wouldnt waste 10 bucks on that peice of crap because frankly, its the saddest excuse for a peice of technology I have ever seen in my life. I mean, cmon, its a fucking box that can play games. My PC can play games and it was half that much, and will last 10 years+ compared to an Xbox which will last 2-3 years untill the next inflated console comes out (hurp durp 1000 dollar gaming machine is gewd) Microsoft milks people for as much money as they can and now their buying out one of my favorite games.

Now, I dont have a hatred against console gamers, im just saying you a bunch of dumbasses for buying a console that will be replaced in a couple years time with an even MORE expencive peice of junk.

Oh yes, and half the games for the xbox are shit too, and are placed twards 12 year old boys who like to "shoot up badguys and have 1337 skills!!"

If crysis 2 gets a seperate ultra version for the pc (Better graphics), then ill be fine. But if we get some cheap ass console-port, im going to be fucking pissed.

At 10/12/10 11:53 AM, Aigis wrote: Dude, why are you so racist towards console gamers?

Console gamers are just like anyone else, man. Console gamers are just as smart as PC gamers. Console gamers can understand the sophistication that is Crysis.

Bloomin' racists.

Because usualy, once a game goes console, it never comes back. Microsoft buys it out and makes all the new sequals only for the console, degrades the graphics and gameplay so that the little tikes can play it, and pretty soon you will see a commercial for crysis three saying "XBOX ONLY"
We are also racist because you waste money on some shitty console that will be replaced in a few years time. Im sick and tired of PC gamers getting the shit end of the stick, crysis was OUR game and should have stayed that way, you guys can keep your fucking MW2 and Gaylo

At 10/3/10 02:20 PM, Anti-pie wrote:

At 10/2/10 04:07 PM, RobotTaco wrote: Man, this whole game is a creepy level. I love it though.

What game is it? post the fucking name of the game.

Yume Nikki.

Its a game about a young girl who is locked in her room for unknown reasons, with a TV with no broadcasts, a balcony and a crappy 8 bit game system next ot the TV. She goes to bed and dreams of horrish nightmares, were you explore a dreamworld about her thoughs and memories, collecting items on the way. There are no enemys, only the creepy music and the thought of what made her think of these sick dreams. The whole game your making suspicions about what happened in her life, for instance, in one scene, your in a rocket ship with a person. The person is using a keyboard. Then you go to sleep and wake up and the ship is crashing. You hear a train crash, go outside, and find a train wreck and a mutilated thing floating. It has an eye thats crying, and moaning. By this suspicion, you can tell that maby this person was the girls piano teacher, and was in a train with him when the train wrecked, killing the man.

Theres more like that, like maby she got raped, maby she saw dead things, maby her freinds were murdered, but one thing is for sure, by the end of the game (There is an end) You will relize this girl is really fucked up.

Yume Nikki, Fear aint got nuthin' on it.

At 10/13/10 01:00 AM, Dogmeat wrote:

At 10/13/10 12:41 AM, Killinkyle wrote: ITT: Homophobics

ITT: OP doesn't deny homosexuality

ITT: Incoming Flamewar.

ITT: Homophobics

Yes, thats right, today I went to tommarows recording of the Ellen show! It was great.

First, we waited in line to get our ticket. Since were back-up, we only get to go in the actual studio if one of the V.I.Ps or Regulars dont show up. The rest of us have to sit in the rafters and watch a recording of it which SUCKS BALLS.

We got our ticket and sat in an 90 degree parking garage for about 4 hours with a bunch of sweaty old women sitting around. There was a lunch cart that had 1.00$ Ellen water bottles, which were the same as regular water but they had... ellen on the front. They also had burittos and such, which i gouged into, and regretted later.

The upside to being in this room was that besides the old women, there were a BUNCH of hot women.

The downside was that most of them were lesbians.

Anyways, finaly we got into rows and stood around for a half an hour for us to be led into the studio area like cows to a slaughter house, and each of the V.I.Ps were seated. We got lucky. Me, my mother and my friend, plus 2 other fellows, got in because two the V.I.Ps had an accident. We got back-row seats, but it was great because the lights were flashing everywere and the camera was always heading at us.

After the show (Which I wont spoil, watch it tommarow around 3 a clock ;3) we all left empty handed because ellen decided to be a cheapskate and not give out any free goodies >:( I bought a pack of cards though, so all in all it was a win.

Got home and the dog pissed on my leg. Fucking dogs.

The human race, Despite what you may or may not think, is infact at the top of the evolutionary food chain. But, we are what we are for a reason. Our entire lives were born to eat away at our planets, like parasites feeding off there hosts, and slowly kill off the life on this planet. Then we shall move on to other planets, slowly eating them away untill they are dry balls of dirt. In this way, we are too intelligent for our own good. In the past 100 years we have gone from horses and candles to Space shuttles and Jet engines, dont you think that in the next, say, 1000 years, we will be so far into the future that we will be impossible to defeat? Of course, with our inelegance, there is also our need to destroy. Our nature. Curious and Destructive. We are a warlike race who perfers to hurt, torture, destroy and steal rather then trade, love, and be freinds. This, mixed with our extremely fast rate of evolution, will cause us to either destroy ourselves, or destroy others all together.

We are also a growing community. Like a virus, we attach to planets, spawn more of us, corrupt our cell and work together to corrupt more into building more viruses. We are, in some ways, the virus of the universe itself. A virus that only destroys, never builds, for there own selfish good. I wouldn't be surprised if when aliens did find us, they would kill us on sight. I dont blame them. Who wants to be corrupted by the warmongering, planet eating humans?

I blasted a hole through the window, and probably lashed my knee with the knockback of my gun.

At 10/10/10 05:41 AM, AllReligiousDrunk wrote: I do not believe this is something common - go to a doctor as soon as possible.

Its just extremely embaressing, but I suppose I must. Ill go in the morning.

I have a huge problem thats been bugging me for months now and I came here for help. Warning, NSFW. There is no Pictures but i will be describing in detail what these are.

So next to my testicals, in the crease between my balls and my upper thigh, I have begun to develop small purple marks. They seem to go inwards, as if gouges or bruises. But they hurt like hell, and dont feel like bruises. Its like the skin has been torn off.

Thats not the worst of it. Just recently they have developed outwards into sores, or blood filled sacks about 3-6 CM long. These hurt like hell and touching them or closing my legs causes them to feel like being stabbed. I thought they were puss-filled sacks, so I tried popping them (This takes away the virus) But instead of puss, blood came out. Now im scared shitless, 2 in the morning with huge red warts growing inbetween the crease of my nuts and my leg. And it hurts like fucking hell.

(Notes: I have a minor form of mouth-herpes, but its so rare and isolated it would be considered more of a minor virus then something major)

Please help me!

Zombies- Dawn Never Comes

At 10/6/10 03:22 AM, billgoldblum wrote: I dont know what make me tired,I feel not so good, I lose interests in everything,I dont know what happened with me!Oh,who can help me ???

Your sick maby

At 10/5/10 10:49 PM, blazer133 wrote:

At 10/5/10 10:25 PM, Killinkyle wrote: oh fuck. UFO sighting today in the news.

Were. Screwed.

pics/ link or it aint true

i heard it on the news about 10 minsago, huge UFO flying over some city, 2 injured, 5 dead

this just came in half an hour ago, scary shit

oh fuck. UFO sighting today in the news.

Were. Screwed.

Show your parents your A+ report card and explain to them about why you wont turn into a murder for seeing colored boxes shaped as hoomans get blown up.

And tell them that halo is pro american, anti-terrorist

Post it here. Everything. Even if theres porn tabs open.

At 10/4/10 06:11 AM, LoliTastic wrote: His Homework and textbooks should be ripped up on the floor.

It would be a pretty cool addition

added that+some changes

typical newgrounder