263 Forum Posts by "JimmysCool"
At 2/26/08 08:16 AM, 2good2b4goten wrote: What if you're gay?
My boyfriend, Luke Norman.
Then this would apply to you. But you still learn some female anatomy...
P.S. The best Gynos are gay.
At 2/26/08 08:21 AM, physco-pickle wrote: The last part of the post implies that you are a chubby chaser.
Or, someone really tired? If your saying that fat girls don't need love too then i suggest you pput down the Gayboy and we take this out side and let strangers watch as i strike a child.
P.S. P8ickles suck...Pickle boy.
At 2/26/08 08:15 AM, MENTOSandPEPSI wrote: Well at least your real name isn't Jimmy.
Actually technically my real name is James, but for some reason everyone started calling me Jimmy. I never figured that one out. And yes, my real "called" name is Jimmy...
I told you all about this in a earlier Post, but maybe because i'm not good as wording stuff like this site did, that might have something to do with it.
Also the site claims that girls have A female Prostate. It's apparently located right above(NORHT) of the vaginal entrance. Which kinda makes sense and maybe guys who like it up the butt not so odd...
Oh well, Here's the part i wanted from the website.(Link to website below, a photo of more on the location of the female prostate.) (DOnt worry, the pics is only a "scientific 3D model.)
During early fetal development both male and female fetuses start out being physically female. This does not change until a male fetus begins to produce its own hormones around the eighth week of gestation. Only then does the physical development of the male and female bodies diverge, and then less than many may presume. This necessitates that female fetuses initially have structures that could develop into either "male" or "female" reproductive and sexual organs.
Female Ejaculation, the Female Prostate, and the G-spot. (if you must ask. I like to learn. And indeed i do. *wink* *wink*) (I'm a guy by the way.)
Why bring this up?
Well, To prove indeed women is the master sex. And indeed ruler of the world.(Seriously I'm a guy!)
Plus I also wanted you to realize you girlfriend is as close to your Brother(or vice-versa, if you don't got a bro then use your dad.), parts wise... there just flipped around and used slighlty differntly. Give you your daily and maybe gaily bit of shock and rock.
Also, if you never had thought about it. DO. It's said that women get most of their "pleasure"(I don't know why i put quotes on it...) from their clitoris. In the fact that the clit gets hard, protrudes and are born with "hoods" wrapped on it. (Also note that it certain countrys. Female Circumcision is practice and the "right".) That, to even the most retarded retard is a strong definition of a Penis(Dick). Also know that "I" learn that these women have a prostate basicly making hole number one(Vaginal Orifice) basicly hole number two without the shit. THough you may agree some nasty shit does come out of number one. (Go Youtube Child Birth). And also that these women can ejaculate(though they can't make sprem. Only allowed to make one sex cell.(God's rule not mine.))
And after all my ranting and some more basic the basic diagrams on the site above and others. All the plumbing that guy's have, girls have too. just some of it is smaller. and the rest is moved around.
Also if you take note at the last 3d model on that page or any pencil drawing in a health book or encyclopedia. You will have found out where there balls are.(Give you a hint, they make Ovums(eggs) a sex cell, the other being SPERM!
So if you read through this and you understand my un organized rant. You will see that if your girlfriend didn't have boobs. you'd pretty much be doing a guy with a really small dick that's plumbing is shift downwars, who had two holes and balls that never descended...
I'm not trying to turn anyone gay (or Vice-Versa) or for girls to be repulsed by their bodies even more. Just like to point out stuff. It's actually kind of awesome.
Also, Nipples are a genetic oppsie that never went away. (I'm guessing the guys that came out with no nipples were few and the other guys had nipples and the girls thought the guys without were wierd and so therefore the nippless never got laid and now guys got undeveloped breast and pointy nipples.)
Hear of the guys that end up growing boobs? (Not talking about fat guys with fat boobs.) It's a so called disorder. That we probly made and fucked them my never knowing what hit us.
THEE END.
Feel free to leave comments, and donations are accept. Enjoy your evening.
:(Real Note To All Girls: IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE MANY WHO FINDS THEMESELVES UNATRACTIVE AND TEND TO COVER UP MORE. NOTE THAT GUYS DO LIKE BIG DOUBLE D'S AND BIG PERKY TIGHT BUTT GIRLS. BUT THE GUYS WHO GET THEM ARE LUCKY BASTARDS WHO DIE CRUEL FATES. ANY GUY, AND I'M BEING SERIOUS, ANY GUY WOULD BE LUCKY TO KNOW A GIRL WHO EVERYONE AINT NOR HASN'T BEEN ALL OVER AND EVEN MAYBE A LONG TERM LAY. NOT SAYING THAT IF YOU ARE BUTT UGLY THAT SEX IS ALL A GUY WILL GIVE. THERE ARE LITERALLY MILLIONS OF MEN OUT THERE WHO WOULD FIND <<<YOU>>> ATTRACTIVE AND WOULD LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU EVER THOUGHT FOR YOURSELF. So quit being downers, and love for the fact that you have a vagina that your can use like a leash on any guy you are with. (Hince if said guy doesn't do a chore then know "treat" for him...))
Before you all start telling me to "stop being f***ing lazy and draw the s*** yourself. "Or You might say "Sorry fag, i don't draw for noobs or for free" or "Who the f*** are you? Go cut yourself and suck your moms tit." I would like to explain a bit.
I want/would like someone to draw five people. A easy description of these five are below. If you are already waiting to get drawing then scroll down.
For the people to draw them my own. Well, i can't draw. Not anyway near as good as the people on here. And i thought some of you might be just bored enough to draw five decent people. All very easy to someone who knows how to and can draw well.
If there is anyone willing to give it a shot then thank you. And i apperciate it.
Incase anyone says anything about the last two people, let me explain.
Robby is almost a spitting image(or should almsot be) Of Kevin Smith's character, Silent Bob (Robby<->Bob) And Ray is not such a identical knockoff of Jay (Jay<->Ray). Those Identites and the fact the characters have the last name of the real guys who play Jay and SIlent Bob. That is where the ripoffs/knockoffs end. The last name would only appear in the credits and the way they think and talk is in no way indentical to Jay nor Silent Bob. Also, Robby Talks.
Now, I suggest you read all five descriptions before starting any character, for i did not give no height or wieght other then who said person is taller or shorter then and who is bigger and smaller. Steve is said to be the average at about 5'9".
If you would like to know. These are just visual for me to better get into the heads of these characters who are the five main characters of my script. If you have any questions please ask in here. PLEASE DO NOT FLAME OR BE CRUEL AND UNUSEFUL. If you have useful information for me. (USEFUL INFORMATION IS NOT CALLING ME A FAG OR TELLING ME TO JUMP OF A CLIFF.) Then lets hear it. If you wish not to take part in this and have nothing to say other then stupid rants to make your little prepubescent genitals seem even larger. THEN PLEASE DONT REPLY.
Descriptions:
Couch Man:
*Couch is a cross between the Brawny Tissues guy and Conan O'Brien. He has a strong chin, round eyes, a slightly bulbous nose, and thin lips.
*Couch is at the least two inches taller then everyone except Ray,
who would be equal or taller then Couch.
*Couch has dark brown hair. His hair stops just below his ears and is completely straight. He also has a thick stubble beard.
*Couch wears loose corduroy brown pants, a loose white t shirt under a vest the same color of his pants and a dress robe that is the same shade of brown with silver vertical piping. He also has large black army boots, a gold pocket watch with chain connected and dangling from his vest's left pocket, a bent gold cross necklace and a stainless steel watch.
Misty Lilac:
*Misty has soft features and very attractive. A small button nose, between almond and round eyes, full lips and a weak chin.
*Misty is not the shortest but thinnest out of everyone.
*Misty has pink or more strawberry then blonde hair that stops just pass her shoulder blades, her hair is straight and really clean/shiny.
*Misty has a slightly large perky chest.
*Misty wears snug tight low rise dark blue jeans with slight acid wash near her knees and on the bask of her thighs. Misty wears a sky blue shirt with transparent clouds and a very cute cartoon sun with a big tooth grin and chubby round cheeks. Misty also has a brown snake print belt, white sneakers with pink lace, a pentagram necklace and different color rubber bracelets.
Steve Thunderbird:
*Steve basically looks like someone who could have been in a boy band. "Guy Pretty" would be the right saying. With a Affleck chin and soft features.
*Steve is in the middle of height and weight. He is at least two inches taller then Misty and way shorter the Couch.
*Steve has dirty blonde hair with blonder tips. His hair is short and spiky
*Steve wears a green button up shirt with white plaid. Baggy normal blue jeans held up by a steal diamond printed belt. Whiter skate shoes and has a U-Pod (I-Pod) in his right pants pocket and ear buds sticking out of his shirts neck.
Robby Smith:
*Robby has a round fat head, large nose, full lips, and a sleepy look to him.
*Robby is about the same height as Steve and is large.
*Robby has black hair slightly shorter then Couch's but it's held back by his cap. He has a bread which is great contrast between his black beard a pale white skin.
*Robby has a Leather candy red cap that he wears back wards, black sweat pants and a black t-shirt under a matching candy red leather trench coat that stops just short of his shoes, which are white sneakers.
Ray Mewes:
*Ray has a slightly long face, a narrow pointy chin, normal features.
*Ray is the tallest if not tied with Couch. He is a tall twig, very thin.
*Rays hair is light brown, straight and stops short of his belly button.
*Ray wears black jeans, a thin jacket over a white Adidus (Adidas) shirt. Ray wears brown shoes.
Background and such is up to you. I'd like it if you'd post one with the character on a white background
if you want to do a greate background then submit both. I'd really like a white background one.
Before you all start telling me to "stop being f***ing lazy and draw the s*** yourself. "Or You might say "Sorry fag, i don't draw for noobs or for free" or "Who the f*** are you? Go cut yourself and suck your moms tit." I would like to explain a bit.
I want/would like someone to draw five people. A easy description of these five are below. If you are already waiting to get drawing then scroll down.
For the people to draw them my own. Well, i can't draw. Not anyway near as good as the people on here. And i thought some of you might be just bored enough to draw five decent people. All very easy to someone who knows how to and can draw well.
If there is anyone willing to give it a shot then thank you. And i apperciate it.
Incase anyone says anything about the last two people, let me explain.
Robby is almost a spitting image(or should almsot be) Of Kevin Smith's character, Silent Bob (Robby<->Bob) And Ray is not such a identical knockoff of Jay (Jay<->Ray). Those Identites and the fact the characters have the last name of the real guys who play Jay and SIlent Bob. That is where the ripoffs/knockoffs start. THe last name would only appear in the credits and the way they think and talk is in no way indentical to Jay nor Silent Bob. Also, Robby Talks.
Now, I suggest you read all five descriptions before starting any character, for i did not give no height or wieght other then who said person is taller or shorter then and who is bigger and smaller. Steve is said to be the average at about 5'9".
If you would like to know. These are just visual for me to better get into the heads of these characters who are the five main characters of my script. If you have any questions please ask in here. PLEASE DO NOT FLAME OR BE CRUEL AND UNUSEFUL. If you have useful information for me. (USEFUL INFORMATION IS NOT CALLING ME A FAG OR TELLING ME TO JUMP OF A CLIFF.) Then lets hear it. If you wish not to take part in this and have nothing to say other then stupid rants to make your little prepubescent genitals seem even larger. THEN PLEASE DONT REPLY.
Descriptions:
Couch Man:
*Couch is a cross between the Brawny Tissues guy and Conan O'Brien. He has a strong chin, round eyes, a slightly bulbous nose, and thin lips.
*Couch is at the least two inches taller then everyone except Ray,
who would be equal or taller then Couch.
*Couch has dark brown hair. His hair stops just below his ears and is completely straight. He also has a thick stubble beard.
*Couch wears loose corduroy brown pants, a loose white t shirt under a vest the same color of his pants and a dress robe that is the same shade of brown with silver vertical piping. He also has large black army boots, a gold pocket watch with chain connected and dangling from his vest's left pocket, a bent gold cross necklace and a stainless steel watch.
Misty Lilac:
*Misty has soft features and very attractive. A small button nose, between almond and round eyes, full lips and a weak chin.
*Misty is not the shortest but thinnest out of everyone.
*Misty has pink or more strawberry then blonde hair that stops just pass her shoulder blades, her hair is straight and really clean/shiny.
*Misty has a slightly large perky chest.
*Misty wears snug tight low rise dark blue jeans with slight acid wash near her knees and on the bask of her thighs. Misty wears a sky blue shirt with transparent clouds and a very cute cartoon sun with a big tooth grin and chubby round cheeks. Misty also has a brown snake print belt, white sneakers with pink lace, a pentagram necklace and different color rubber bracelets.
Steve Thunderbird:
*Steve basically looks like someone who could have been in a boy band. "Guy Pretty" would be the right saying. With a Affleck chin and soft features.
*Steve is in the middle of height and weight. He is at least two inches taller then Misty and way shorter the Couch.
*Steve has dirty blonde hair with blonder tips. His hair is short and spiky
*Steve wears a green button up shirt with white plaid. Baggy normal blue jeans held up by a steal diamond printed belt. Whiter skate shoes and has a U-Pod (I-Pod) in his right pants pocket and ear buds sticking out of his shirts neck.
Robby Smith:
*Robby fast a round fat head, large nose, full lips, and a sleepy look to him.
*Robby is about the same height as Steve and is large.
*Robby has black hair slightly shorter then Couch's but it's held back by his cap. He has a bread which is great contrast between his black beard a pale white skin.
*Robby has a Leather candy red cap that he wears back wards, black sweat pants and a black t-shirt under a matching candy red leather trench coat that stops just short of his shoes, which are white sneakers.
Ray Mewes:
*Ray has a slightly long face, a narrow pointy chin, normal features.
*Ray is the tallest if not tied with Couch. He is a tall twig, very thin.
*Rays hair is light brown, straight and stops short of his belly button.
*Ray wears black jeans, a thin jacket over a white Adidus (Adidas) shirt. Ray wears brown shoes.
Background and such is up to you. I'd like it if you'd post one with the character on a white background
if you want to do a greate background then submit both. I'd really like a white background one.
So I'm thinking of starting my Film Studio. a indie one. I figure at the moment i need maybe a couple hundred bucks for a cheap camcorder and try to when a big prize with that. or save up my checks. So basicly figuring out the start up money and a cheap place for to shoot and do the movie magic in.
Thats not your job. This is-vvv-
I want a logo made and since most y'all on here have Flash I thought who better to ask. It's a little job so i think no need for payment. It be simple to do in Paint but wouldn't be up to par to Flash made, never is.
I want it to look like the THX logo, yeah its totally gonna look like a rip off but who better to rip off then Lucas?
Description: THX is to be Changed to JWD On top of it will be replaced with, Lascivio Vicis which is latin for play time. and Studio under JWD
Example:
Lascivio Vicis
JWD
Studio
And if possible to make the background red violet instead of the blue.
Here's you example. It shouldn't be hard. Basic flash really. id do it but im sure my trials ran out awhile ago.
Example:
Okay, idea for episode. Guy blows a hole in Mr. L's ship and almost sinks it. so Mr. L moves him and his incredibly bigoted parrot into the Cappa House. The guys get tired of him and his crazy bird and decied to rebuild his boat. They dont have no money for it so the decided to try and rob Mr. Escrow. They get away with it after giving Mr. Escrow the retarded kid they had to let in the house, and fix the ship. thats basicly the back bone to it. Details not worked out put pop out a mile a second, so...yeah.
Here's the shark statue Mr. L gone out and caught and stuffed...or something. Idk, just wanted to show it.
At 11/18/07 07:48 PM, Errormatix wrote: I do not believe it is a song.
Also,what the hell are you doing watching Titanic?
UH, its a good movie and a horrible disaster. yeah. its awesome and i havnt seen it for awhile just because i cant sit thru it. not for it sucks but i dont wanna see that awful clip where the poor lady is putting here kids to slepp so they will die sleeping. that is horrible! Fucking brits, see if i ever by a boat from you! nope, its chinese or nothing!!!
found out from youtube its Nearer My God To Thee, it the song playing right when the ship totall starts to go down. thanks if any of you knew that. thanks more if you told me, and thank youtube, for beinmga reliable reaserch tool.)
Not the Celine Deon's "My Heart will go on" song.
Its not real/ly i song cause it dosnt have lyrics.
Okay, theres a bunch of guy stnading on the deck playing nice music to try a calm the people getting on the boats because, well you know. And it aint working and their like "Fuck it" so they get in like a circle and start playing that tune. thats the one i want. the one they play.
Hell if i know why i might find someone on here who knows. but meh. give it a shot. somew of you fuckers are smart.
I'll search but if i come up blank from google and youtube. then ill see what you guys have for me.
here's another one, slightly better. but a lil less.
Okay, i just want to show this off and its has to do with Cappa House.
Here is the entire campus. I warn you that the campus is big so no good angle to get a shot of all of it in. its in there just far enough way to see it all...
OKay, here's the school flag, i got lots of pics of the whole campus, and MSN and Yahoo messneger incase you'd like to see them all. the ship is awesome. might put the next. then the Shark statue.
Cappa House, a local Fraternity of Tartan University. Cappa is a house full of people that should not be put together in a house, let alone a house with a electricity. Cappa dude's are known to date the sisters of Mu House, Mu's enimie is Sigma House, for they took Mu's idea of turning there house into the simpson's house. IN which Sigma did.
Mr. Lester, the old salty pirate that lives in the ship bolted to the coast next to Cappa house is the campus's Buisness Teacher, thouhg he mostly teaches them how to find treasure and takes them on treasure hunts in his unbolted other ship. Whihc of course he only does after the regular shit is done and test are took, then its off to sail the pacific(throw Styx's Come Sail Away, here.)
Jimmy Escrow the 3rd, the rich dude who runs the place(Guess that makes him Dean) he's the homosexual pervy guy who oddly ends up in awful and slightly painful situations.
And Danny Fischer, The All Time everything. The co president of Cappa House,
His fellow Co Prez would be Ryan Phillip, the man who was known one campus to build a rocket that almsot sank Mr. Lesters ship. Calling Ryan Mr. Fixit would be a high gamble, Mr Half ass would be a little closer.
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WHat do yah think, i gave you three character and the the basic of whats going on, i made the map of the campus, and i really think this would work as a Flash of some proportion. Since i do not have flash/750-ish bucks, i figure what the hell, throw me on as Executivve Producer and you can have it. Map included...
I know Cappa is Kappa, but not till after the map. And its named after my Favorite Captain. Captain Lester. No he's not a fmaous cap, just osme crazy guy who slices watermelons with his cutlass on newbie's heads. He dosn't miss. and he dosn't hit the second melon. both better then i can do.
Uh, Cappa(which im including a picture of)House, is a Art Deco Building. Tartan is mostly a Art college, but does have science and buisness as well as a Football team. THe Tartan Sharks I'll include the flag for the scholl i the next post. And yes, i thouhgt of posting this in the FLASH SECTION, and i will. but just seeing if another college flash would be good.
My humor, which i would assume would be in this, is more of Wyle E Coyote with the crazy traps and just randomness. Nothing important just fun and humor. By randomness i mean on topic randomness, not like Family Guy where they just go totally off subjet in those lil cips.
Dont judge it yet. Im not totally done with Cappa Campus, missing the stadium, and the Buisness building but the rest is basicly there.. minus small stuff like trees and what not.
Okay, so here's the Cappa House.(Newgrounds thing made it smaller so might not be as godd as original.)
At 11/16/07 08:56 PM, Thimbles wrote: Maybe you should start workin' on that novel you've been workin' on
IM not a one trick pony, i do about five things or so at a time. And by the way. it's about 3/4 so im doing good. oh and 3/4 is 247-ish pages.
OKay, this is the Tartan U Flag.
Was not easy to make, took time. so not too much from the critics
Cappa House, a local Fraternity of Tartan University. Cappa is a house full of people that should not be put together in a house, let alone a house with a electricity. Cappa dude's are known to date the sisters of Mu House, Mu's enimie is Sigma House, for they took Mu's idea of turning there house into the simpson's house. IN which Sigma did.
Mr. Lester, the old salty pirate that lives in the ship bolted to the coast next to Cappa house is the campus's Buisness Teacher, thouhg he mostly teaches them how to find treasure and takes them on treasure hunts in his unbolted other ship. Whihc of course he only does after the regular shit is done and test are took, then its off to sail the pacific(throw Styx's Come Sail Away, here.)
Jimmy Escrow the 3rd, the rich dude who runs the place(Guess that makes him Dean) he's the homosexual pervy guy who oddly ends up in awful and slightly painful situations.
And Danny Fischer, The All Time everything. The co president of Cappa House,
His fellow Co Prez would be Ryan Phillip, the man who was known one campus to build a rocket that almsot sank Mr. Lesters ship. Calling Ryan Mr. Fixit would be a high gamble, Mr Half ass would be a little closer.
----------------------------------------
---------------
WHat do yah think, i gave you three character and the the basic of whats going on, i made the map of the campus, and i really think this would work as a Flash of some proportion. Since i do not have flash/750-ish bucks, i figure what the hell, throw me on as Executivve Producer and you can have it. Map included...
I know Cappa is Kappa, but not till after the map. And its named after my Favorite Captain. Captain Lester. No he's not a fmaous cap, just osme crazy guy who slices watermelons with his cutlass on newbie's heads. He dosn't miss. and he dosn't hit the second melon. both better then i can do.
Uh, Cappa(which im including a picture of)House, is a Art Deco Building. Tartan is mostly a Art college, but does have science and buisness as well as a Football team. THe Tartan Sharks I'll include the flag for the scholl i the next post. And yes, i thouhgt of posting this in the FLASH SECTION, and i will. but just seeing if another college flash would be good.
My humor, which i would assume would be in this, is more of Wyle E Coyote with the crazy traps and just randomness. Nothing important just fun and humor. By randomness i mean on topic randomness, not like Family Guy where they just go totally off subjet in those lil cips.
Dont judge it yet. Im not totally done with Cappa Campus, missing the stadium, and the Buisness building but the rest is basicly there.. minus small stuff like trees and what not.
Okay, so here's the Cappa House.(Newgrounds thing made it smaller so might not be as godd as original.)
At 11/9/07 09:11 PM, Wyattfilms wrote: You know i've been trying to find out which collection had all the old organle titles like: sonic, sonic 2, sonic 3 and ect...
They have severail collections out there and i realy whant the one with all the organle games on it, since i only liked those old ones... I do own the origanle's on my sega genesis.. but lets just say, someone step on the sega.. Now i cant play them. so now what.
There's a system which you can find at Gamestop or other places which order weird stuff. THe system can play both Genesis and Regular Nintendo. its about 35 bucks.
I've benn asking this one user here about it, but they ignored me (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!).
Now please help me out here
And yes i am aware of the music changes in sonic 3 (due to something involving micheal jackson)
Let's see what i can find for you, buddy.
THey are all the same, they say they have 11 sonic games on them. Most from Genesis era. And they are all under 20 bucks.
I heard that smoe Xbox games cant work on XBOX 360 so idk bout that. Playstation games all except the PSP work on all systems after them.
And im sure the PC one will at least work as far as 98 but you'll have to look.
At 11/9/07 08:58 PM, Swany wrote: www.dictionary.com
Theres one for you^^
Nobody cares about stuff that is not the "best". that's why.
So Newgroundians, It is my pleaseure to tell you all somethign very important. Your all pretty cool.
YOu've concord more then many can. YOU killed the dragons many times. THe king has not yet became aware of you porking his daughters. And, the jock each has went away. Good job my fellow men. And women of whihc lerk in the back without facing the war. I bid you all that chance of a lifetime. In my hand here i have a Elixur. One drop of this here on your tongue will make you immortal. SO come forward my men. As it is time to show this crule world who the real gods are. And don't forget to tip a waitress.
SO, here i was sitting at my puter. playing with my peter. getting warmed and loose from the heater. I went to a chat of most irritating of sorts. For this guy was being a ass, didn't come up with nothing original and im pretty sure he was gay. THen i went to Ignore him and the worst was to happen.
OKay, i decided to write more descripted of this and to explain more how the dog died...so yeah. Work in Prog gruss.... :)
A little song i wrote about...well, a dog with big balls. Enjoy. Its actually a poem i guess but it works both way...
The Little Dachshund with bowling ball size balls.
Here's a little story.
About a Weiner dog named, Corey.
He had a problem with his anatomy.
It's a sad story, you will see.
For he was a dog. Just a little short legged dog.
And he Had Bowling ball size balls.
His feet didn't touch the floor at all.
He was in pain for every move he made.
He tried to empty but couldn't get laid.
This is the story about a little dog
who has bowling ball size balls.
Wa ooh...bam!
When he went down the road.
He got road rash on his sack.
And his feet never touched the street.
No that street never touched his feet.
One day when he was sleeping in his home.
His owner picked him up and put him in the Volvo.
Woah woah, woah woah. No no, no no.
He arrrived at his doctors and knew this wasn't good.
The Doc grab a scalpel and put him under.
And cut him open and removed his manhood.
And his thunder.
THe little dog cried everyday.
Finding away to make his owner pay.
So he looked and looked. And looked and looked.
And now he knows he gotta take what he took.
And bite his owner in his balls.
In his average plump walnut size balls.
And he ripped those balls right the fuck off.
And that was the day the Weiner dog died.
ANd this is where the story ends.
About a dog who had Bowling Ball size balls.
For those who dont know what a Dachshund or a Weiner dog is...I included a picture. i might use it for print...
Okay, um i hanv't done a Post in like five or so dys and that's like forever to me...so here is 7 completey random and seperated posts all in this one. Hince i gave it the Subject: 7 Things To Bitch About... Enjoy!
111111__one__1111111
This is a song im sorta writng and its raw ish. About the land of Dreams...i tilte it DreamLand. Also note, i was high on a really strong pain pill(yeah, they get you(me)high.)Dont worry i'm not a druggy, just sprained my back halling a giant santa and eight light up reindeers all across the fucking lawn cause my retarded bro cant make up his fucking mind! Or he's a asshole...probly both.
WHen your King of your Land.
When someone needs your helping hand.
Need you to take a stand.
And fight the evil Octopus.
Fight it with a fire breathing bus.
I just have one thing to say.
To you on this special day...
Welcome to DreamLand.
Give me your sleeping hand.
I'll bring you to this special land.
With a little Pinch of my Snoozing Sand.
Hoo Ray Hoo Ray. Welcome to this special Place.
Where you win every impossible race.
Without one drop of sweat on your face.
Hoo Ray Hoo Ray. This place sure is the best.
Nothing like the rest. Nothing like the rest.
When your on top of the moutain finding the old Treasure Chest.
Or having a blind date with Jessica Simpson's left breast.
Or your flying threw the sky on a big ole pillow.
Flying threw the bright sky when a candycane says, Hello.
And you think nothing can be better.
Well I Just have one thing to say.
On this Special day.
Welcome to DreamLand.
Give me your sleeping hand.
I'll bring you to this special land.
With a little Pinch of my Snoozing Sand.
Hoo Ray Hoo Ray.Welcome to this special Place.
Where you win every impossible race.
Without one drop of sweat on your face.
Hoo Ray Hoo Ray. This place sure is the best.
Nothing like the rest. Nothing like the rest.
I havn't written the next parts because my high ran out... but ill find something to figure it out...
22222-----II-----22222
Okay this is a kinda awesome story about a guy who got caught and it's like if you were there you would of never saw this coming... Knote: This is a story of incidents whcih happened in RLC(RedLightCenter) and is of a story of a close friend of mine. Names have been change or altered. Also note this is after the guy has been caught just Fisty(the other Women sorta) telling Cheeze about it.
Fisty Kissy: GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!
CHEEZE: morning Fisty =) you feeling better after a sleep?
Fisty Kissy: ummmmmmmmmmm.........
Fisty Kissy: so so
CHEEZE: ohhhh... anything in particular wrong, or just general bleeuuurrgghh?
Fisty Kissy: oh you havent heard
CHEEZE: no
Fisty Kissy:you got a few minutes?
CHEEZE: go on
Fisty Kissy:k, so you knew me and HB were together right?
CHEEZE: um no
CHEEZE: lol
Fisty Kissy: lol
Fisty Kissy: um
Fisty Kissy: ok
Fisty Kissy: we were
Fisty Kissy: lol
CHEEZE: ok
Fisty Kissy: geez cheeze
Fisty Kissy: lol
Fisty Kissy: ok
Fisty Kissy: so
CHEEZE: hahaha
Fisty Kissy: him and i were together for quite some time
CHEEZE: right
Fisty Kissy: and when we first met i told him, rlc only dont be gettin all real on me
CHEEZE: oh,that one...
CHEEZE: lol
CHEEZE: yes
Fisty Kissy: lol
Fisty Kissy: anyways we became pretty close, it happens when you spend lots of time together
Fisty Kissy: so
CHEEZE: yes....
Fisty Kissy: he works all over us, in his job, does lots of traveling , so to save on having a mortgage, thats not necessary he lives with his sister when he's home as well as his two yr old daughter who's mom left her..........
CHEEZE: ok
Fisty Kissy: i would call, he would call, we would talk on the phone, just BS, no biggie, even sometimes his sis would answer and give him the phone
Fisty Kissy: things were becoming odd, he would "crash" on yahoo alot
Fisty Kissy: and suddenly have to leave on "rlc"
CHEEZE: right
Fisty Kissy: i thought nothin of it at first
Fisty Kissy:: then i started getting hate mail on rlc from an rlc member stating........
Fisty Kissy: stay away from my bf bitch, find someone elses to steal, im like WTF?
CHEEZE: wtf??
Fisty Kissy: then got two emails day before yesterday saying leave him alone, he is mine, you are tearing us apart, we fight everynight cuz of you, he is all i have other than our daughter, leave him alone bitch, im like huh?
Fisty Kissy: so i call one of my rlc BestFriends
Fisty Kissy: who knows him well
Fisty Kissy: asked has he told you he has a gf, or wife? she said no
Fisty Kissy: i said and who does he live with
Fisty Kissy: she said
Fisty Kissy: sister
Fisty Kissy: i was like ok
Fisty Kissy: then called a few others
CHEEZE: right
Fisty Kissy: everyone said he lives with sister
Fisty Kissy: no gf, no wife
Fisty Kissy: so i called his house, which mind you he is out of town for work, and his "sister' answers
CHEEZE: ok..
Fisty Kissy: I said, is this "so and so" and she hangs up on me
Fisty Kissy: im like WTF is goin on?
Fisty Kissy: so i call back my rlc Bestbud
Fisty Kissy: she talks with him on phone too, so i ask her to call
Fisty Kissy: she does and the "sister" talks with her
CHEZE: right
Fisty Kissy: she tells her, she is his FIANCE!!!
Fisty Kissy: WTF?
Fisty Kissy: So this whole time he is lying to all of us about her, and telling her, that we know of her
CHEZE: and she's been answering the phone and passing it to him?
Fisty Kissy: and my friend says, umm nobody has even heard of you, and FIsty was told you were his sister
Fisty Kissy: yes
Fisty Kissy: wierd
CHEEZE: wtf???
Fisty Kissy: who knows, other issues there i guess
Fisty Kissy: so anyways
Fisty Kissy: i call her back after she finds out i knew nothing of her
Fisty Kissy: she apologizes for hate mail, said she thought i knew
Fisty Kissy: i was like hell no, and besides i was only havin RLC fun he was wanting more, i was like, im married and not gonna risk that, see my hubby is deployed to war, so i use RLC as my social outlet, anyways.......
CHEEZE: omg
CHEEZE: ok
Fisty Kissy:she says i dont mind him havin an RLC gf, but when he is lying and not givin me credit for being his, thats not good
Fisty Kissy: so last night him and i are on rlc talkin bout whole thing
CHEEZE: she hs a point
Fisty Kissy: and she shows up and tries to talk to him, he wont talk to her, so she calls him at his hotel and is like WTF?.......
Fisty Kissy: Then OMG
Fisty Kissy:he breaks up with her, saying he LOVES ME???? and wants to be with me not her. OMG
CHEEZE: OMFG
Fisty Kissy: I said oh hell FUCK NO
CHEEZE: serious??
Fisty Kissy: SO SERIOUS CHEEZE
Fisty Kissy: so
CHEEZE: shit
Fisty Kissy: i'm on the phone and he's telling me this
CHEEZE: right
Fisty Kissy: and she is beeping on my other line, he's like dont answer it, so i dont, i wait, then my rlc best bud beeps in, cuz fiance has called her, i hang up with hotbody and i have a voicemail from fiance saying......."go ahead and be with him, do whatever, we are through" I was like OMFG
Fisty Kissy:so i call best bud back
Fisty Kissy:she tells me same story, and im like noway am i getting caught up in this shit...
Fisty Kissy: i hang up with her and call FIANCE
Fisty Kissy:i was like oh my God, i am soooo sorry. Just want you to know, I am done with him. He is a liar and I refuse to be a part of the pain he is causing you. I am so sorry, she says , dont be sorry, its all him... but i still felt bad, i was crying Cheeze
CHEEZE: i can imagine
CHEEZE: geez..
Fisty Kissy: so then her and I decide to do a threeway call with him, but cant figure that shit out. so i hang up with her and call him back....
Fisty Kissy: I was like, im done , see ya, been real
Fisty Kissy: he is fuckin in tears
Fisty Kissy: omg
CHEEZE: oh shit.
Fisty Kissy: i said i have a husband, a family, im not gonna lose them for you, so why would you be such and idiot to lose yours for some fuckin toon with chatter
CHEEZE: it's more than that, but i know what you mean
Fisty Kissy: well i know, but i was tryin to make a point to him
Fisty Kissy: it is a ton more than that i know
Fisty Kissy: so anyways there you have it
Uh, i was working on a beginning just fucking around a putting ideas together, well i'll show you this bit, and you comment and what ever and help me with the story, at first in this they screw with the movies idea, but it gets started right after this part... i still have to make it in script format, and add the detail stuff...
So love it or kinda like it.....whatever.
Cherry Pie
"Congrates Class of 2008!" Principle.
"Woot! Freedom!" Girl.
"Endless Summer!"Guy.
Ricky, Stace, Prike, and Yelder walk towards spot.
"We finally did it guys. Were free." Stace.
"yep, two years till law school." Yelder.
"But in the mean time, partys till we die."Stace.
"Fuck yeah, Fuckers. were gonna party our fucking asses off!" Prike.
"You know what we need?" Ricky.
"What?" All.
""Summerlove,
all we need is a little of
the hot summer love.
Ocean brezze and ice cold
beers an-""
"Stop that Shit!" Prike.
"Whut?" Ricky.
"No singing, we aint singing in this!" Prike.
"Alright..."Ricky.
"Dude! my bro. left his beach house and said we could use it." Stace.
"Uh, dude? Hasn't that already been done?" Yelder.
"Whut?" Stace.
"That's been, you know what lets go to Cancun!" Yelder.
"Why? it's not spring break." Ricky.
"Yeah but they got, fine where does Mtv do summer?" Yelder.
"California?" Ricky.
"Lets fucking go there then!" Prike.
"Dude, were in Claifornia!"Ricky.
"Then where's the fucking parties?" Prike
"At the beach." Ricky.
"What beach?" Yelder.
"The one by my Bros. beach house." Stace.
"Fuck! Fine but your mom can't fucking come visit."Prike
"My mom?" Stace.
"Wait, who has the hot mom here?" Prike.
(ricky raises hand)
"Fine, then your mom can't fucking come." Prike.
UH, i need to tune it maybe... but it works how i hear it. Just let me know what you think...
Serioulsy its fucking raw. SO dont be too harsh...
OKay, this last part for now.
I dont want Photoshop cause its too big. And i just dont like it.
ANd wondering if and when i get this done(since it will technally contain some flash) if i could possibly put in on Newgrounds? I'll try to add a preloader to that. SOmeone please find me a preloader tutorial... thank you.
I need lots of help and i am serious. I know someone is gonna think through this i should look for myself and fuck off. Well im gonna say that is very rude. ANd if i were in front of you, you'd be eating a bar of DAWN.
Okay, im making THE SIMPSON'S intro. WIth a great adult game/myspace thing called RLC(this isn't a promo) and i need some super stuff to help me acomplish what i need done.
FIrst off I need three things.
1. Video Capturing Software
2. Video Editing Software
3.Music/sound editing (i.e. something to chop some of the song off)
And this may put the Noob sticker on me big time. ANd wich technally i still am. As long as i got something to learn i will be, so will you. But what my problem is i was offline and without a computer for only a year and i totally forgot everything i knew about FLASH. And it wasn't much, but i did know how to make a tween, create a Movie Clip, and do little Script writting. Nothing, I swear that was the first thing i wanted to do. I went to Adobe. downloaded the trial, got into it and i just noticed i was fucked.
So long story short. I need a really good Flash tutorial if possible maybe a website out of Newgrounds. Or even if you can find me the page that has the tutorials... i need good ones. There was some that were on the site for Strip Arcade, but i guess it went south. The ones on there taught me everything.
So a shorter long story. Need Flash help. so please help.
And i need something like Photoshop(not photoshop) that i can use to make me some clothes/skins for RLC.
Uh, i think that's it. THanks to who help. I wont check this till either later tongiht, or tomorrow. Im going to bed....
SO in short...
1.need software above.^
2.need to relearn flash
3. Need a non photoshop photoshop.
I know i should have this stuff because I'm a Newgroundian( I am So! I got a acount don't I?) But again, new computer. And im not really a FIlmmaker yet( to be called one you need a film you have made) which i don;t this will/would be my first.
Thanks a bunch to those who dont call me gay and tel me to shoot myself.
Yes i been around. and odds 9 out of 10 topics has those. Swear to E-God.
Im gonna look later on Download.com and if anywhere else you guys might tell me. If you got a good download site then post it here or PM me if you think you'll get in trouble of lock this post(fucking better not!). Okay, bye guys. Hope you help :) (Yes i use smileys! Bite me!)
Okay, this was gonna be called, COUCH MAN.
I know its a bunch of shit, but whatelse do you got to do?
Part-2
Jimmy Davenport: okay now this might not work, but how bout when they figure out what they must do or something, they break into song?
Lucky Irish: depends on what type of song
Jimmy Davenport: idk...
Lucky Irish: like jay and s.bob silly stuff?
Jimmy Davenport: Yes...
Lucky Irish: k, that'll work
Jimmy Davenport: Okay how should it start?
Jimmy Davenport: and whats there goal?...hmm
Jimmy Davenport: there gotta be like five goals... two big, three small maybe...
Jimmy Davenport: maybe one is for one of the guys to make it big, or figure out how to better his dealing...or something
Jimmy Davenport: that would be a small one.
Lucky Irish: one of them is for one of the guys to score
Lucky Irish: cuz he's still a V
Jimmy Davenport: yes, that is one
Jimmy Davenport: That's in it, not tooken out...
Lucky Irish: what would be the big one tho?
Jimmy Davenport: Maybe we come up with a phony celeb
Jimmy Davenport: Uhh...
Jimmy Davenport: To keep the record store going and beat the one across the street?
Lucky Irish: yea
Lucky Irish: they can have a sort of war
Lucky Irish: trying to close the other place down
Lucky Irish: doing all sorts of things
Jimmy Davenport: of course.
Lucky Irish: to keep people from going oin the other
Jimmy Davenport: wacky shananigins
Jimmy Davenport: like Wyle E. stuff ...
Lucky Irish: exactly..
Jimmy Davenport: yes
Jimmy Davenport: ANd maybe the other big one is...
Jimmy Davenport: dang it.
Lucky Irish: yes?
Jimmy Davenport: This is hard...but if we get this, then we will so fucking score.
Jimmy Davenport: i don't know... gotting let the pool fill up,
THEE END.
That'll be 5.50 at the next window, enjoy your stay...
Okay, i tried at this, and it failed. Guess maybe wrong guy or wrong story.... it dosnt start till a little down, but what ever...(I'm Jimmy.)
Jimmy Davenport: HEY BUDDY!
Lucky Irish: hey mang, sssssssssssup
Jimmy Davenport: NUTHING MUCH, BRO, JUST CRACKING AT MY SCREENPLAY AND EATING PIXIE STICKS
Jimmy Davenport: AND I MEAN EAT,
Lucky Irish: mmmmmmm pixie sticks
Lucky Irish: are the shit
Lucky Irish: fucccc cyes
Jimmy Davenport: I EAT IT ALL, I DONT JUST EAT THE DUST.
Lucky Irish: hahahah
Lucky Irish: paper and all
Lucky Irish: fuck opening it
Jimmy Davenport: YAH
Jimmy Davenport: PUPRPLE IS GOOD
Lucky Irish: i'll eat em all
Jimmy Davenport: THERE'S ONYL THE ORANGE ONES LEFT...
Jimmy Davenport: I SAVE THEM FOR LAST...
Jimmy Davenport: PUT THEM IN WATER AND ITS LIKE TANG
Jimmy Davenport: WHAT YOU UP TO?
Lucky Irish: bullshitting
Lucky Irish: mmm orange
Lucky Irish: is
Lucky Irish: bad
Lucky Irish: ass
Jimmy Davenport: HELL YEAH
Jimmy Davenport: OKAY BRO, I LEAVE YOU ALONE, NICE TALK ABOUT PIXIE STIXS AND SHIT...
Jimmy Davenport: LATERS
Lucky Irish: where you fuckin goin
Lucky Irish: shit
Lucky Irish: in and out like a hooker
Lucky Irish: shit.
Jimmy Davenport: WHAT YOU WANNA CHAT MORE?
Jimmy Davenport: FINE I CAN STAY...
Lucky Irish: lol..
Jimmy Davenport: I SLEEP ON THE COUCH IF YOU WANT...
Jimmy Davenport: ITS GETTING DARK
Lucky Irish: have you ever seen Half Baked
Jimmy Davenport: UH YEAH...
Lucky Irish: you can be the dude on the couch
Lucky Irish: no one knows who he is
Lucky Irish: but he sleeps there
Jimmy Davenport: Yah, I'll be that guy.
Lucky Irish: good.
Lucky Irish: ill be Sampson
Jimmy Davenport: OKAY MAN.
Lucky Irish: no wait..
Lucky Irish: he was impotent
Lucky Irish: scratch that
Jimmy Davenport: HAHA...
Lucky Irish: can't be nasty nate
Lucky Irish: im the wrong color..
Jimmy Davenport: I'LL MY ROBERT DUHL, THE JANITOR WHO WENT CRASY DOWN AT THE OLD ELK ELEMENTARY, NOT MANY BODYS WERE FOUND AFTERWARDS, JUST A BUNCH OF RED PAINT...
Lucky Irish: lmao
Jimmy Davenport: AFTER YEARS OF UNEMPLOYMENT, ROBERT MEET A GUY WHO WAS IN A BOUNTY BUISNESS. SO ROBBY GOT A JOB AT THIS HERE BAIL BONDS IN WHICH THE OTHER GUY WORKED, BUT HE GOT FIRED SOON AFTER THEY FIGURED HE HAD ABOUT A DOZEN BROKEN BONDS ON HIMSELF...
Jimmy Davenport: AND NOW I LIVE ON THIS COUCH
Lucky Irish: you are now "couch guy"
Jimmy Davenport: i am now couch guy, the duelist of the night, i fight simple foes, and get the respect of local hoes....
Lucky Irish: and yet shares nothing of which he knows...
Lucky Irish: in silence he consumes the kitchens plunder....
Lucky Irish: amist our amazement and wonder..
Jimmy Davenport: he makes a sandwich out of barely nothing.
Jimmy Davenport: But it is the best dang sandwich they had.
Jimmy Davenport: for he is, Couch Man.
Lucky Irish: lol..
Jimmy Davenport: TO be the ruler of his shag carpet coverd land.
Lucky Irish: He rules the shagginess of this smokey land..
Jimmy Davenport: with his bruning wand, within his hand.
Jimmy Davenport: burning*
Lucky Irish: and with the flick of his wrist....
Lucky Irish: he whips out a bong...
Lucky Irish: and hits and hits, until he bursts out into song...
Jimmy Davenport: a song of ironic tunes he sings, as he notice he ate all the wings
Lucky Irish: he steps on his soapbox, and begins to rant...
Lucky Irish: when suddenly realizes
Lucky Irish: he's pissin in the plant!
Jimmy Davenport: his chorus erupts into plees and grunts. When he realizes he smoked his last blunt...
Lucky Irish: you would have thought he was in the forest, lookin for a tiger to poach...
Lucky Irish: when he jumps on the table, and grabs a leftover roach...
Jimmy Davenport: he enjoys his prey as a knock of wood is heard.
Jimmy Davenport: For it is his Antagonist, Mr. Bird.
Jimmy Davenport: He came for the rent, and to smell out the smell...
Jimmy Davenport: Couch man was doomed he felt like in hell...
Lucky Irish: when to his surprise and wonderous joy
Lucky Irish: mr bird had brought his own glass of joy!
Lucky Irish: with a bubble of the bong, and flick of the torch
Lucky Irish: mr couch and mr bird, were sparkin on the porch!
Jimmy Davenport: Bird and Couch were enjoying their joy. When they were interupted by a chubby little boy.
Jimmy Davenport: He ask the time and if he could barrom a dime.
Jimmy Davenport: barrow*
Jimmy Davenport: And when the boy got his deisre. Couch's buddy Fred rowed up. Saying there was a Record store down town, looking for hire.
Lucky Irish: lol
Jimmy Davenport: YAH
Jimmy Davenport: I CANT SPELL
Jimmy Davenport: I THROW THIS IN WORD, LET IT FIGURE IT OUT.
Jimmy Davenport: I'LL*
Jimmy Davenport: An unfinsihed story this well intentionally be, as it tangles and tangles it is hard to breath...
Lucky Irish: hahahaha
Jimmy Davenport: If it were to finsih it would take a good brain...
Jimmy Davenport: for since it barely had half, i see it never being
Lucky Irish: definitely
Jimmy Davenport: seriously, im gonna blog this, that's why im doing the last parts...
Lucky Irish: oh, this will be continued...trust me
Jimmy Davenport: I BET IT WILL...
Jimmy Davenport: We should write a story...and we are, so good job.
Lucky Irish: score!
Jimmy Davenport: Score for a victorius bore....
Jimmy Davenport: hahaha
Jimmy Davenport: nah...
Lucky Irish: score for us victorious whores
Jimmy Davenport: yes it is
Jimmy Davenport: OKay, got main guys i guess... need a plot...
Jimmy Davenport: and starting from where this is...
Lucky Irish: hmm...a plot
Jimmy Davenport: yes...hmm
Jimmy Davenport: ...
Lucky Irish: well
Lucky Irish: could have an rlc theme
Jimmy Davenport: yes...
Lucky Irish: maybe do some jay and silent bob roles..
Jimmy Davenport: Right...
Jimmy Davenport: J&SB always god
Lucky Irish: good and god
Jimmy Davenport: yes yes
Jimmy Davenport: okay, we got Fred, who we dont know yet, Mr .Bird the landlord, and Couch Man
Jimmy Davenport: need a antagonist now, the bad guy/guys.
Lucky Irish: thinkinin..
Lucky Irish: thinking even..
Jimmy Davenport: yes....
Lucky Irish: the guy from office space
Jimmy Davenport: wouldn't it be awesome if they worked at this record store?
Lucky Irish: that asks about the TPS reports all the time
Jimmy Davenport: okay...
Jimmy Davenport: and how bout, they just goof off at this record store, and this other record store is opened across the street, and its way better...
Jimmy Davenport: so.... fuck im bored....
Jimmy Davenport: lets burn the fucker and say we spent all day figuring taxes...
Lucky Irish: excellent!
Lucky Irish: lets make it sorta like the movie Empire Records..
Jimmy Davenport: alright
Jimmy Davenport: fuck
Jimmy Davenport: alright... before this can be written, we should just go crazy with characters and shit that should happen in it...
Lucky Irish: well, jay and silent bob of course
Lucky Irish: add some Pulp Fiction to it...
Lucky Irish: have some violence...
Jimmy Davenport: violence...kay, we can do that.
Lucky Irish: someone canadian
Lucky Irish: that cannot stop saying "aye"
Lucky Irish: wait,
Lucky Irish: a mexican/canadian
Lucky Irish: taht says "aye" all the time
Jimmy Davenport: haha, okay.
Jimmy Davenport: how bout some strange guy who comes in at strange places, and gives them some very deep advice, in which helps to there better...
Jimmy Davenport: maybe they get kidnapped, and thrown in a Phony BK freezer or something
Lucky Irish: he pops up at the most bizarre times tho
Lucky Irish: like when they are pissin in the bathroom
Lucky Irish: he's in teh next stall
Lucky Irish: and just starts talking
Lucky Irish: out of no where
Jimmy Davenport: yah, and maybe out of the fridge and just grabs a beer, and sits beside them like nothing happened...
Lucky Irish: good good...
Lucky Irish: the fridge has no back tho
Lucky Irish: when you open it
Lucky Irish: you can walk through it
Lucky Irish: takes you somewhere else..
Jimmy Davenport: yes... like a bunker or the strange dudes room...or maybe the next appartment over...
Lucky Irish: hmm..
2-Parter...
