Pirating. It's true. We're already one step ahead of the curve, considering we just copied the Japanese with the ARES 1 rocket. Our future shall be that of wicked awesome space pirates plundering space stations and ransacking the Chinese ships that are full of Space booty on the Space trade lanes. Kennedy once said that we should not allow evil war bound forces into space, and that while we should not be afraid to protect ourselves with weapons in great beyond, we should never allow war to dominate a place of peace and research.
Fuck that shit. We need to loot, we need to plunder, and we need to dominate. If you think about it, this is a totally untapped market. Why allow some foreign nation or corporation take over a role that will clearly be the most profitable in space? We allow people to develop, we watch them launch it, we congratulate them, then we rip it from their cold fucking dead hands like the sheep they are.
Now, I'm not advocating murder, I'm just saying that there's plenty of Chinese and Japanese people. Their families probably won't even miss them. Besides, what good is human life if America can't have something? Through this new program I'm proposing, America would once again be the leading cause of piracy in the world, a label we lost thanks to the stupid British and their 'rules' and 'regulations'.
'So why, Jezuz, would this be any different than before?'
Oh silly boy. This would be different because we are awesome now. We aren't some stupid poor people plundering Spanish Galleons. We're awesome Space Marines with robots and nuclear weapons. We already have these things, which means the research and development costs of our nation would be drastically reduced, allowing for the development of more Space Marines, Robots and nukes. Or better yet, nuke shooting Robot Space Marines.
America, let us stand united in this venture. This venture that fits our nature more perfectly than any other. This venture that will shoot us into the 17th century, and show that America is a leader among something once again!
In honor of our new national profession, I have stolen this picture off of Google to illustrate how awesome we could be one day, but only with your help, America. Write your congressman, protest in the streets, and make online petitions. This shit has just become real.
