My life hasn't necessarily been easy for the past few months (and I won't go into details since I know newgrounders don't give a shit) but something fucked up happened in the past few days. In fact, two fucked up things.
I've got letters in the mail from people I don't know... and apparently the internet does either. Now, they're not innocent letters from people saying "Oh, I know what you're going through" "I like what you've done with the community" or anything close to that. Well, I suppose the best way to explain it is to show you...
Letter 1:
"You're Invited
For a long chat
Date anytime day or night
Time I already said any
Place phone or face-to-face at 175 East main, Chicago
Pattie"
Now why is this fucked up? well, for one, I live all the way over in washington state... so, for you retards, no where close to Chicago. You can even check on google "Patricia Carlson" and you won't get shit...
So I get a letter following the day... in fact, today.
Letter 2:
"Ben,
you listen, and listen good. This card is black for a reason. Danger! you cut your ties to that Pattie Carlson right now. You lose your head over her, you'll lose much else besides. She's beautiful but bad - in fact she's the cannibal high priestess of the notorious Prime Rib Cult. A maneater, and we don't mean metaphorically. We had the best men in the world, our dear quadruplets Brad, Chad, Thad, and Vlad. But now, only memories, all because of that evil Pattie.
Your protectors,
Hervey and Carmella Andersen"
Now this person lives in California... a decent length away from chicago as well.
I really have no fucking clue what's going on. I didn't sign up to any porn sites, and I sure as hell didn't give it to anyone who lives in Chicago; the problem is, my parent's think I have.
So I have to ask. What the fuck is going on???
