Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I'll have more!

At 10/17/08 11:43 PM, KevnSevn wrote: If that girl was hit that much, she wouldn't be looking so sexy.

I love to play paintball too.

Maybe it was a low powered gun. Either way, I like dirty girls!

I for one, am a huge fan of paintball. I play it, and watch the pros. While playing, you get a feeling like no other. Its better than eating at Johnny Carino's, its better than getting a 100 on a test. It even rivals sex! Okay. Maybe not. But, its still really fun. The fact is, that its just as much a sport as football (American football, you British bastards!), soccer, baseball and whatever you can think of. You might say "All it is, is shooting! It takes no athletic skill. Well you'd be wrong. You don't know how fast you have to run when you break off the block. The adrenaline rushes through you when you play. Its amazing!
Its mostly for adrenaline junkies, and people who just like to shoot shit. But to other people its really fun too. It does hurt. It isn't anything unbearable though. You can choose to wear pads (i.e chest protector, elbo/knee pads, and mask/helmet) or not, but pads can make it more or less enjoyable, depending on what kind of player you are.
You might ask, how/where can I play? Well thats whats great about it. You can play anywhere, anytime. You can play at an arena or field in your city or town, or you could got to a ranch and play, or ask someone to play on there land. You can play during any season, but its more enjoyable during spring or fall. And, everybody can play! Mexicans, Cubans, Africans, Canadians, Spanish, Arabs, rednecks and simple white folk like me.
Let's talk about the pros. Right now the LA Ironmen are leading (my favorite team!). My second favorite team San Diego Dynasty, is in third right now. Thats just about it. I think the games come on Tuesdays on ESPNA. The thing is that there is a ton of leagues. Theres speedball leagues (the most played game type), sim and others. The main one is the NPPL (National Professional Paintball League). Thats about it.
You might also ask, "What are the rules?" Well thats really up to you. There is so many game types like elimination, capture the flag 1 and 2, superman, assualt, and many others. Look them up sometime. You can even make some. Thats great right!
Some of you might want more strategy. You can do that two. You can flank, snipe, and even use guerilla tactics. There is even positions. Most of the time, its really simple. You have your Fronts (small fast guy, and the main source of eliminations), your mids (there like the front subs, once one of them are out, mids move up), and your backs (the big guys, the fire far from the back, and need the most powerful guns). Sometimes you have flanks, or snakemen, sides, or whatever you call it. There like the fronts basically.
Now, how do you get started? Well do what I did. Save so money (mow a lawn lazy), and buy a starter kit. It should come with a paintball marker, a mask/helmet, CO2 tank, hopper, paintballs which is basically all that you need. Then, gets so buddies who did the same thing and set up a game. Its really simple. If you want rules look em' up. That simple. Remember, paintball is a sport for everyone. The legal age to play is 10 years old. You can buy lower powered guns for younger players, or really high powered ones. Remember you don't have to get the most expensive gun ever mad. They all work the same (unless its a really shitty gun).
Some of you may say "I ain't getting shot!" Well suck it up you poozys!!!! It doesn't hurt that much. Get started. You won't regret it. Also look at the picture below, and tell me with a straight face you won't give it a try.

"Your such a cumshot!"
"Thats what she said!"
oh and everytime a girl says "FUCK YOU!" to me I reply "Is that an offer?"

fucking bycycles.

I would pull off her pants and say "That it the same pussy!"

So in Honors English we're learning about Greek Mythology. And let's be frank... some of that shit.. stupid as hell. You see the Titan lord Cronus talked to his parents Gaia and Uranus and they told him that he was destined for his children to overcome him. And of course they didn't have condoms or birth control back then and Cronus was a horny bastard. So him and some mortal Rhea got it on all the time and had kids. Here comes the stupid part. Every kid he had, instead of abortion of course ate them. Thats right ate them. Thats great. I think I'll knock-up some chick and eat our kids. Then check this. When him and Rhea fucked again they had a kid named Zeus. And she was sick of that bastard eating there kids and not paying child support. So, she sent him to some island and switched him out with some rocks. Now Cronus like a dumbass eats the rocks. Zeus trains and eventually comes back to save his siblings. Zeus cuts open Cronus and saves his brothers in sisters, who somehow stayed alive all those years. Stupid right. Damn Greek's.
Then these siblings called gods cut Cronus into a million peices and put him in the pits of Tartarus in the Underworld along with most of the Titans. Now these gods Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Here, and Hestia. These gods were supposed to be the cause for weather, and plants and shit. Leave it to the damn greeks to mess everything up and come up with there own way of explaining things. Now of course these god couldn't keep their toga's on and had alot of kids. Especially Zeus. Like father like son. They were sex beasts! He had a ton of kids! He was actually married to Hera his sister (let me guess a ton of redneck jokes just popped into your head right?). But he cheated like a dog. He had several affairs. Heres a list of his kids Ares, Athena, Appolo, Artemis, Hermes, Persephone, Dionysus, Perseus, Heracles (hercules), Helen, Minos, Muses, Hebe, and Hephaestus. Damn thats a long list. I think I'm gonna have that many kids.
Now Zeus wasn't the only star of the show, even though he was top dog around Olympus. His brother Poseidon, was the Sea God. He had some kids to like Triton. He was the father of many cyclops. I mean theres some Cyclops lookin girls at my school and I wouldn't go anywhere near them much less have kids with them. Also, some how he invented the horse. I didn't know that horses even liked water besides to drink. Maybe it meant seahorses. Anyway I don't see how you invent an animal, but you know those Greek's right?
Now, lets talk about Athena and Ares. Ares is the god of war and Athena is the god of battle and wisdom. They should work together and be one badass fighting duo right? Thats what I though. But instead Athena had to get PMS and Ares had to be a little pune tang, so they fought. Athena was, I guess the smart one and Ares was the hotheaded ass hat, who went by on strength. He was an asshole who went around starting wars between people. He controlled their anger. Kinda like a kid with magnefieing glass over an antpile. The Ares I knew was killed by the ultimate mortal badass Kratos but.....
Anyway Hades was basically the Satan of the Bible. He was a sadistic bastard who ran hell and had a big three-headed dog Cerberus. I bet feeding that dog must have been a bitch! Anyway he decided your punishment if you were a sonofabitch when you were alive or if you go to a nicer part of the underworld. Anyway he fell in love with Aphrodite his neice. What a pedophile right? Anyway she ate something in hell which made it impossible to leave. Zeus, Hades and Demeter her mother eventually decided to let them marry and let Aprhodite return during the summer. Talk about long distance relationships.
Demeter was basically mother earth. When she was sad crops died and farmers got pissed. When she was happy the plants florished. She was really peeved when Aphrodite was kidnapped by Hades that plants died and whatnot. Read above for that story. And she also caused the seasons. So thats how weather worked. Damn greeks have to have a explanation, besides God or science.
So basically Greeks either had great imaginations or were potheads that came up with some really crazy shit. Getting high helps your creativity by the way. For now I think I'll stick with one God and the Savior Messiah Jesus Christ. Mount Olympus must have been one fucked up place for all this shit to happen....... Anything you want to add?

Also read my news everyday. Every good blog post will be put in the forums!

Sharp enough to kill a vampire.

At 10/8/08 10:25 PM, Aci6 wrote: There was a girl newgrounds user who had a Myspace page, anyway, on this page she had a Youtube movie of herself saying she loved geeks (hence the newgrounds account).
All I'm saying is that some people just may like it and other may not.

WHATS HER NAME??? I WANT TO GET TO KNOW HER!!!

At 10/8/08 10:21 PM, RedDreadSky wrote:

At 10/8/08 10:19 PM, HWDog35 wrote: Sure its okay. I'm kinda geeky, I like games and all. But I also play sports and guitar so I balance it out well.

I play sports and guitar but no one will put their mouth on my penis....

Its alright. You'll get your day sometime.

Afterwards, they'll ask you if you're still "doing Flash, or whatever."
Say yes.
They will then say, "OOH RAPE ME PLEASE! I PROMISE I WON'T SCREAM!"

"NO RAPE ME FIRST!" "NO ME!"

I LIKE IT WHEN THEY SCREAM!!!!

At 10/8/08 10:09 PM, Emanhattan wrote: You wouldnt believe the attention I get from hot broads thanks to all the flash shit that I make.

Once again. Im in it for the ladies!!!!!

Its okay to be geeky, right? as long as you are happy being so!

Sure its okay. I'm kinda geeky, I like games and all. But I also play sports and guitar so I balance it out well.

Also read my blog everday for new posts. All important posts will be put in the forums!

Censorship is the blocking or hinderance of expressing something in a public form of media. I believe its a violation of the First Amendment. With the upcoming election soon, we the people (atleast the ones old enough to vote...old bastards!) have to choose our next president. This could dramatically change this country. And possibly our media.
In 1992 Mortal Kombat was released. Weeks after release, several weeks later some liberal congressman worried that the game and other games with extreme gore, was poisoning the youth of the US. They tried to make a big petition to ban the game, but ultimately failed. They thought that the extreme gore and brutal "fatalities" were horrible and a disgrace. I thought it built character.
Now with games like Gears of War, Resident Evil, and God of War, who knows if a congressman will get a stick up his ass and complain. With Barrack Obama's extremely liberal views, could we see the end of gore and nudity in games? I certainly hope not. I know this isn't priority with the economy and war and all, but a gamer can worry right?
I believe this would violate the constitution and the First Amendment. I like our esrb ratings fine. Same for movies or books. I certainly wouldn't won't to be the guy that voted for someone who censored media would you?

At 10/8/08 08:31 PM, ghyfty wrote: How do we keep sending it to you? Pm or......

pm and comment my news.

I'm sick and fucking tired of those asshats sending that picture of that girl with a dick. Damn you guys are faggots. I don't see why you keep sending that to people you sick sonsofbitches!

At 10/8/08 08:16 PM, ghyfty wrote: Damn. This has to be the longest sentence ever. He doesn't really have bad grammar, he just needs to add more periods in his sentences.

The jocks are more worst? bullshit he doesn't have bad grammar. Read it again. If you don't see anything wrong with it than your a huge dumbass!

Anything you can add?

I've posted something like this on my old profile before. In ancient Rome and Greece, tournaments were held much like a modern sporting event. This competition was a battle to the death against other warriors or gladiators. If you've ever seen the movie The Gladiator, you know what I'm talking about.
The movie The Running Man featured a man whose wife had a deadly disease. He decided to join in on a deadly game show to earn enough money to pay for a cure. He was supposed to survive thirty days by being chased by mercenaries. Battle Royale was a great movie about highschool kids being captured by japanese soldiers. They are forced to kill each other for sadistic entertainment.
Another great movie (atleast I think), is Death Race. It revolves around an ex-pro racer that was put in jail. The prisoners of this jail must compete in race. The cars in this race are outfitted with bad ass machine guns and rockets and shit. This "death race" (hence the name), is broadcasted on National Television for entertainment. The fact was it was a great movie. Seeing it yet?? Okay, I'll keep going for all you slow bastards.
The book The Hunger Games had arena fighting, futurist weapons, spectators, and live tv. Unreal (a great fps from Epic Games), was released in 1998. In 1999 Unreal Tournament was released. Although not scary like the original, people loved it. It featured tournament style combat for Galactic supremacy. It was broadcasted on a holovid to the entire galaxy. The franchise has continued with the tournament style. A similiar game was Ratchet: Deadlocked in the Ratchet and Clank universe. It was about a game show in the "shadow sector". Heroes have been disapearing all over the galaxy. The truth was that a media mogul was capturing them and pitting them against each other in the game show Dreadzone. Ratchet was included among them. Dreadzone was a tournament style blood-sport. The Club was a game that included men fighting for the highest score in a tournament.
Even today people hold illegal dog fights for sadistic entertainment. Japanese people hold beetle fights, and beta fighting fish tournaments. Bull fights even. Get what I'm saying? Ever watch USC, boxing, or one of the very few real wrestling leagues (not the fake theatrical shit like the WWE)? Thats some crazy stuff man. They go at it. One on one combat sports. In fact theres a ton of mma leagues. Those guys fight extremely hard and you know its gotta be painful. That is an example of modern gladiator combat. Paintball and airsoft can be compared to. People go around shooting each other. Imagine it with real guns!
Imagine these circumstances. During one of the events listed above, a competitor gets hit in the temple and dies.Ratings would soar! People would search youtube and google for videos of the tragedy. Toys of the athelete sell out. And you know what? The media would notice. Our country the United States of America is already at a dark time. People are sick. Some would love death on tv. There could possibly be legal gladiatorial, arena, tournament style, blood sport. I do doubt this anytime soon, if it even is possible. I have my doubts. But in the future could we see events like this? Just something to think about when you try to catch the Dallas Cowboys Vs. Washington Redskins.
People today dream of one day being a NFL, NBA, or MLB star. But imagine the future where your kids might want to grow up and kill people for fame? I'm not sure humanity would sink that low again. I hope you found this analysis interesting.

At 10/8/08 07:46 PM, SneakyGameBoy wrote: Really these guys always think they are better than you they think they are the only best kids in school I just think they are overrated snobby punks! Preps think they they are the only best people on earth I know this girl in my class a long time ago she was DUMB prep She stutters alot when the teacher asks a times table question and she always look at people and say that they are ugly and today shes addicted to ciggerites (Who knows she might become a junky). The jocks are more worse in my school some jocks get paid to beat up random people WTF!? Jocks just beat up people and act like they own the school its really stupid of them to do that. This is a rant by SneakyGameBoy. GOOD NIGHT!

Maybe you should learn some grammar and punctuation first, before you start talking about people being dumb. What are you like 10 years old? Time table? I did that in fourth fucking grade!

All of those guys are faggots. That douchebag Zac Fuckron can go suck his own dick. I hope he dies on set! My fucking teachers play that fucking disgrace of the silver screen ever fucking year. Each year its faggier than the last. FUCK HSM! (i would tap that blonde or the brunnet bitch though).

P.S- Specially the brunnet.

I fucked your mom to hard!!!!!!!!

At 10/7/08 10:40 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: Swearing in general. People think that swearing every three words makes them sound tough or something. And when they get mad at you for calling them out, it's every TWO words.

Just SHUT. UP. you guys...

Yeah! Those fuckers need to wacht that fucking ass language. DAMN!

Did she moan alot? Did she talk during? Did you do it up the ass? How about oral? I NEED DETAILS!!!!!!

That gets uber old. And uber gay. FUCK WHOEVER SAYS UBER!!! That was uber loud. WAIT!! FUCK!!!

I'll take anything along the lines of this!awwwww............