And after what has been one of the better weeks in recent times, let the meh begin.
Another ten-second Explosm short which will no doubt scoop all three awards this week. I hope as an avid explosm fan that the title of the next short will spell out absolutely all of the plot details so there will be no surprises whatsoever to soothe any confusion that would otherwise arise in my dull and slow-reacting brain.
The reviews are even more depressing because there are literally only two things reviewers can say about the flash.
Am I going to use the o word?! Yes I think I might! Overrated.
Explosm is the next illwillpress but at least their animations are watchable.
Then we have a 'game' that lasts for about thirty seconds (with a pretty freaking ridiculous score), but to their credit they really did whip that one up very quickly but uh... yeah...
Then sitting in fifth we have a PSA, which features a symbol plonked in the middle and a couple of tweens.
And then the rest.
Also, are AdultSwim adult swim or is it just some guy who picked the name?!
Gigantic-ass week and a good week too.
-Everyone made a flash. EVERYONE that makes flashes made a flash.
-22 submissions got 4.2+?!
-Explosm lost and explosm never loses. Take that! (although this one deserved more credit than 'Pigeon' did, which scooped all three?!)
-There were no crappy sprite animations or slideshows that were featured and thank god.
-Heaps of front page switchups and stuff because of TOO MUCH AWESOME.
why am I making a list?!
I haven't seen a stellar-ass week like this for a looooong time. I enjoyed Wacky Game Jokes 4 Kids and JohnnyUtah's flash today.
Weekly 42nd!
Every week should be like this
At 2/14/10 07:55 PM, JonBro wrote: Recently it seems like all movies on Newgrounds have been getting high votes. I don't think it has a lot to do with the quality of the movies themselves, but I have no idea what's been going on. Take Edd's movie, for example. It has a score of 4.6 right now. Although I personally would say it's funny and well made, it probably would have gotten a score of more like 4.35 if it had been submitted, like, two months ago.
As a more regular B/P-er than you I'm going to have to disagree, I haven't seen eddsworld's flash yet but there was no recent sudden change in voting habits.
Ever since the redesign and the fact that people can get a voting power of 5 in 60 days there's no more balance of power held by regular depositers so ever since the redesign, scores have been going more and more through the roof.
Three/four years ago the top 50 was for submissions with about a 4.2 but now heaps of stuff gets a 4.2. But this inflation of every score happened quite a whiiiiiiile back.
At 2/14/10 05:10 AM, MasterAardvark wrote:We also have new submissions by the following popular artists:It's funny that they count as a popular artist. They've submitted 321 flashes in 3 years (32 of them being in 2010), most of which are exactly the same and probably only have 3 or so reviews. The only reason I know who they are is that every time I have a flash under judgement, so will they. Granted they're not actually aiming at newgrounds, but instead at their own website of reskinned mediocre games, which to be honest seems like an even more retarded excersise.
123bee
Haha, I think I bothered to play one of their games once and it was a crappy Kung Fu Panda fighting game... I'm pretty sure one of your opponents had laser eyes or something but it's one of the buggiest things I've ever played. I swear every 2nd or 3rd submission is some crappy game by one of these game sites.
These sites mine for newgrounds traffic so that people go to their websites and click on their google ads. Or something like that. Imagine if they made one decent, appealing game instead of those crappy games and maybe they'd actually have a popular game that people might come back to.
Why is there such a sudden rush of awesome stuff for valentines'? It's like there's more stuff this week than the entire Christmas period!1
At 2/14/10 03:41 AM, puddinN64 wrote: I'm sure that he'll surprise us and have another flash by Tuesday. :D
It will probably be a four-second clip of cannibalism and it will have a score of 4.92/5.00.
Wow, this is shaping up to be a veeeeeeery quality week.
take that, explosm!
Wow, what's this, a flash that might beat Explosm in the weeklies?!
And this looks to be a high scoring week for valentines?!
Nice flash sitting in 1st place, I tried playing score for a bit and I felt like a creeper afterwards.
At 2/12/10 08:57 PM, Skenvo wrote: I don't understand. How did firstperson tetris get blammed when it was one of the top 10. It actually sounded kinda cool...wtf
It was stolen... it's never nice when this happens... maybe my flash, or at least someone else's genuine flash could've sneaked into the runner-up spots. Too bad.
Luckily it didn't get an award, I think it used to be that if a submission that got an award was removed the awards would update themselves... but it doesn't appear to happen anymore. Someone should fix up p-bot so that nobody is deprived of exposure because of stolen stuff.
Also check out this one guys1
Click to view.
: </shameless plug>
Good bunch of flashes today, I liked Larkmart and didn't mind genie.
Barely anything's beaten Explosm this year... in fact, they've gotten four weekly prizes in a row, taking out 3 of the last 1sts and would have had a clean sweep if it weren't for 'The Scale of the universe'.
Adam Phillips, where are you when we need you?! Stamper?!
Male, EXPERIENCED voice over/voice actor needed now for within-hours turnover for flash animation that's a temporary distraction from my main project.
If you are a FEMALE voice actor, please PM me because I have some work for someone to do.
REQUIREMENTS
This role will be given on a first-come, first-serve basis to the first actor who fits the role.
You must have previous VA experience, you must have a reel or enough stuff that I can hear.
You will send the test line.
You will be able to record all of the lines within 24 hours, preferably as soon as possible.
You will be the announcer/voice over in a fake/parody ad, sound enthusiastic, sound like you're selling something.
TEST LINE
Announcer (enthusiastically): Hey ugly girls, here's an opportunity to temporarily hide your physical insecurities!
Send the test line with your NG username to:
hoogiman <a t> gmail <dort> com
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. >:C
Also proving my point that the mass majority of NG are uncultured dumbfucks.
Uh... where did you say that? What point? I'm sorry, I don't think you said that anywhere in this thread. I know that's your stance but what 'point'? Generally when you say someone proved your point, you had to state a point to begin with.
Okay, you said
GAH NEWGROUNDS SCORES DETERMINE VIDEO QUALITY!!!!
and I'm saying yes it does... to an extent. I'm commenting on Pokemonpoeguygcn talking about the scores each day, because it's a general indicator of flash quality.
Yes, there's always crap that gets overly recognised but to say that the voting population never gets anything right is just absurd. There is a balance of power held by maybe the 30-40 percent of people that judge the merits of the construction of the flash, and that usually holds unless it gets a popularity rush and gets the 5's in a large number of lesser-powered voters.
There's plenty of video game parodies that get awards on low scoring days but they have lower scores because they're just not that well done - usually it's poorly animated or just unfunny (comparatively less funny).
And like I say, if someone who's almost in the realm of overratedness, Weebl (but not to the extent of people like illwillpress, explosm, alvinearthworm) submits something that's unusually crap and the voters give a comparatively crap score, then surely something's being done right.
So there's not enough 12 years faping to sonic hentai on those days??? (What does the verb 'fape' mean? Is 'claping' a derivative of 'clap'?)
I'm referring to that flashes that get low scores because they're not funny enough, not overly well animated, conceived with poor direction or are buggy games. That's a big chunk of what gets awards on low scoring days. And it's low scoring day because it's technically decent, but not overly interesting.
There are interesting flashes on these days, but they usually lack somewhere - either not particularly well animated or poorly VA'd etc. Or sometimes just confusing.
When I say mass appeal, people want to see a couple-long-minute flash that follows the conventions of a typical short or whatever. That's why I'd almost expect anything that blurts out 'fuck you' like Bug's to the user not to get a particuuuularly high score.
Am I saying the Newgrounds system is 100 percent fair? Hell no, but I'm definitely not saying that they're wrong enough to cause the voting system to not reflect the general quality (referring to award winners, of course) of flashes.
Low scoring days generally have lower quality than high scoring days. If you actually watch the submissions instead of exaggerating the voting system as one of total anarchy, from the exception of the 'overratedness' of a few popular submissions.
Can you honestly say the daily top three with a range of 3.60-3.75 will have the exact same quality as a top three with a range of 4.1-4.25? No!
Believe it or not Mexifry, not every day's top 5 is filled with hentai and crappy video game parodies, and this out-of-proportion exaggeration you seem to exhibit day in and day out seems to indicate a general lack of observational skills on your part.
In fact, guess what? People have been talking about high/low scoring days since the advent of P-Bot because it's A GOOD INDICATOR. It's not perfect but Tom gave this site a scoring system so people can rate in terms of quality. To deny this is absurd.
If you just cherry-pick my post again making wild, ungrounded accusations then well, you're an idiot.
At 2/3/10 01:05 AM, Mexifry wrote: GAH NEWGROUNDS SCORES DETERMINE VIDEO QUALITY!!!! AHJKAHDKJADGHKLAJGH
Scores are actually a decent indicator of how much something appeals to the masses on Newgrounds (hence, scores). When there's a 3.6-below day, usually there's nothing overly appealing to NG's target audience. As in there's probably no flash by a well-known artist and everything's not funny or awesome enough to get a 5 bandwagon going for it.
A lower score can also mean that it lacks in a department, either if it fails at being overly funny or exciting or it's not animated all that well or the voice acting sucks, so you have more 0's (WTF that joke maeks no sens/omg i'm so confused 0!!!).
And quite honestly, a lot of the stuff on low scoring days doesn't get particularly popular after because a lot of them lack an edge or are missing something in their package. There are of course exceptions to everything I've said.
But an artist we can sorta standardise and observe is Weebl, whose cat face cartoons or his regarded-as-funnier stuff will get a 4.3 plus. Guaranteed. His latest submission is just plain unfunny and of quite poor quality coming from him, and the NG voters actually reflected that, giving him his submission less than 4, which is a significantly low score for one of the site's most popumular artists.
So in summary, there's probably a pretty good reason why some days are higher scoring than others, and that's to do with quality. And quite honestly, low scoring days are usually pretty rubbish.
this is all generally speaking.
After 20 replies, has the BBS finally found a thread where no-one will disagree about something?!
Out of 600,000 threads is this the 0.00001 percent outlier?!
I personally agree but there are plenty and plenty and plently of male comedians who are simply unfunny except to a couple of douchebag 60 IQ viewers.
At 1/29/10 01:28 AM, Mexifry wrote: You've been on Newgrounds for 6 years and you JUST realized this?
I really hope you didn't just realize this.
Hnggggg
Oh yeah, I forgot that everyone within two days of joining realises explosm could probably get a daily award for animating someone (a stick olol) hitting themselves with a bottle until their skull broke and they died, whilst Oney could probably draw a crude caricature of a celebrity who started to talk/dance/sing and after about four seconds, somebody vomits on them and he'd probably get weekly 3rd, because it's so talked about on the BBS.
your bro mexifro is way cooler than you
Four 'funnies' taking out spots 1, 2, 3 and 5.
2nd was well animated, a bit different in some of its jokes and a brief ending?! Still good and I haven't seen anything by this guy? I think it was a bit rushed and the script seemed to lack jokes near the start, and seemed just a bit weird. Liked it though.
Explosm and Oney are like the two biggest 10-second-flash-daily-award-winning repeat offenders. Explosm could probably get a daily award for animating someone (a stick olol) hitting themselves with a bottle until their skull broke and they died, whilst Oney could probably draw a crude caricature of a celebrity who started to talk/dance/sing and after about four seconds, somebody vomits on them and he'd probably get weekly 3rd. (YES, this is a challenge.)
I enjoyed both, but I mean, COME ON voters, what's wrong with you?
Weebl just didn't really hit the mark with this one, maybe it was the annoying singing at the start or a general absence of humor/good ideas in this parody, maybe it was the predictable Susan Boyle gag. I mean, it shows because his flashes are always getting supertabulour 4.3+ ratings but this is like his lowest rating one for a while.
At 1/28/10 09:01 PM, HahaISuckMoreThanYou wrote:At 1/28/10 08:20 PM, Kajenx wrote: Also, try to avoid things like "he bought our souls, never laments." It sounds forced, and thus corny, especially since you used both soul and lament in the same line, and those are standard for crappy goth poetry. :3Lol, that's one line irritated me the most too because as you said it does sound forced as if the author was grasping straws for it to rhyme with the second line.
As for the author, he seems pretty disheartened by the comments. Don't take it personal I'm not saying it's shit, I'm just pointing out what I felt was wrong with it.
I think Trevor's been the only one of help because he has an understanding of the mechanics of poetry, and he was willing to re-read the poem and take what I said into some consideration.
I wrote this poem with a clear intent and if you actually read any of the discussion on the page, you might get some idea of what it's about. Nitpicking stuff you didn't like is barely constructive and I deeply hope that you understand that poetry is not just about stating the obvious and stating the literal.
I'll state it again because it seems many people aren't capable of reading a thread. This said line describes the dealer as cold and emotionless. I'd like to think this along with the rest of the descriptions in the first stanza, along with the other descriptions in the poem implies, or suggests perhaps there is a personification.
If your understanding of poetry is superficial, that's fine, but I wouldn't be accusing anyone of 'grasping straws'... there's many incomplete rhymes throughout.
At 1/28/10 08:52 PM, TrevorW wrote: I feel that the actual addiction is moot. Let this be interpreted in the form of any addiction. For me I can figure roughly 8 ways this poem could go in meaning, all similar but all varying.
Again, meter :P
With any poetic analysis though, you have to take into account every single word. There was a poem about a burst water pipe that would otherwise be about rain (as one person commented) if it wasn't for a couple of words that referred to a pipe in the middle of the poem.
I feel that the words 'cathode visions' and 'fans and motors' strongly hints something to do with the mechanics of a computer. How would you take into account these words to create a different interpretation? Sometimes few words mean a lot in the scheme of poetry.
If you've ever done a commentary on poetry and make an interpretation you can't ignore contrary words in the poem itself.
At 1/28/10 08:20 PM, Kajenx wrote: Come on guys, this is clearly a poem about someone addicted to furry yaoi porn. I mean his inner dog wants "meat."
The code has been unlocked! I'd like you to read some of the discussion in the thread, because I think I've answered quite a few things about your comments above.
LOL, srsly though, I like the abstracted nature of it, it's good not to be too literal. However, the meter only seemed to work halfway, so I had to stumble through it a bit. If you're gonna follow a beat, try to do it more clearly/assertively so I don't have to try to make stuff fit as I'm reading it.
Okay, well the meter breaks intentionally with "The agitated dog within me, who's had no meat"... to emphasise the agitation and the craving. This difference really emphasises this line. I realise there was a mistake on the fourth line of the third stanza because it lacks a syllable but if you treat it as an anacrusis then the stresses are still fine.
Also, try to avoid things like "he bought our souls, never laments." It sounds forced, and thus corny, especially since you used both soul and lament in the same line, and those are standard for crappy goth poetry. :3
There's a clear reason for this line and this is to distance this dealer as a person, but rather a personification. This comment smells of a superficial, skimmy sort of reading which is fine but I wouldn't be so quick to jump to an allegation.
I tried to craft this poem with intent and an allusion and if you can't try to appreciate the devices or what I was trying to achieve, the criticism is not at all helpful.
To reply to that and the rest of your comment, I say read the rest of the discussion (I don't want to repeat myself). Thanks.
Hi, it certainly seems you have ambition with this story and you have a heap of ideas to convey. But I think as opposed to people with writer's block, I felt sometimes like it was just a mass of too much information. I can guess you were really really excited to get the ball rolling with this story because there was definite direction in the prologue.
Like I always do, I'll just point out a few things and ask a few questions.
In the darkest depths of space, where even the light fails I live.
Not bad, I think if you're going to open with the setting, you should really focus on how isolated and how alone this character feels. What's around him? You don't necessarily have to say space, can you use other terms to describe this setting?
Especially showing your work in a forum of falling threads, and also maybe in general (if anyone clicks on a story or picks up a book), try and captivate the audience.
Even try opening with something like: 'Regret. Why have I been tortured so?' ...something short and snappy like that makes the reader ponder.
No being has lived as long as I and none ever will,
This description of what this very powerful character is, in this prologue is never quite clear. Is this your intent? Do we get to see any physical features of this character? Although you might want to reveal this later, a lot of people like to imagine the character... ...I'm a bit confused, is he a physical entity? Sometimes clarity, or emphasising those little details can go a long way. These are all suggestions of course.
I Tauros was the only being that had ever escaped the deepest bowels of the universe and was back for my revenge!
The only name-drop in the prologue? Why is it important to put it here, and only here? Could we familiarise ourselves with the name, even in some other way? Could we have heard a thought resonating in his head from the court, does he remember something someone said?
You say he's tormented by memories... can he share even one or two of them in the prologue? A lot of your sentences start with the I, and although it's a first-person narration, this doesn't mean every sentence has to start with an 'I'.
This also varies it up and mixes it up a little bit, from being just a long stream of thoughts, to maybe some thoughts, to a memory, to his reactions to that memory (emotions) and back to more events.
"Tauros, You have betrayed us!" the constant scream resonates in my head.
Secondly, you provided a description for some of the events going on. I think you need to make it clear to the reader when he first sees it, because I was a bit confused with passing references to the Dominus Domino and etc.
I think this is very important that you describe the organisations/unique things that are exclusive to your universe with some detail, because what you want to achieve ultimately as a writer is to get the reader to get your entire picture.
Those are just a few suggestions, there's a lot going for this, and it's quite interesting, but there's a lot that could be said constructively, but of course not all of it can be said in a short-ish post.
If this helps at all, I'll read more after if you'd like.
At 1/28/10 07:37 PM, TrevorW wrote: Triple post.
Could I see more of your work. With the thought put into this I would like to see what you can do.
To answer that, this is the first work that I've actually written (in a prose/poem format, I've written scripts) since completing my IB English (2 year literary analysis course) course, but I've got a half-completed extra-short story in the works. I can't say I wrote much during the last two years, so anything before that is going to be a bit rubbish.
I can say after completing a course like that, I didn't have any perspective on, or appreciation of why authors write in particular ways, and why they choose particular words.
I'll keep you posted though, and I'll respond to your poetry some time later today. I had a look and it seems like you have a good writing style, good vocabulary and a good appreciation of ze classics, but there's a couple of suggestions I might have.
Okay, thanks for putting in the time because I need to get some perspective to see how others interpret my poetry. All can be well with the author's intent, but his intent is never final nor definite. The meaning is what the reader takes out of it, but of course there is such thing as a wrong interpretation (like calling 'Poem' by Ernest Hemingway a discussion on whaling).
I've done a lot of study of poems which have underlying metaphors or allusions to historical events or well-known, everyday processes, to name a few. The beauty of the poetic greats is that they can discuss so many things within such a short space, I might only be able to discuss two things. But some are very clear in how their words allude to different things, where some are absolutely, completely ambiguous.
This is also my first real attempt after studying all of that, so anything deeper I attempt construct will probably come off amateurish.
I'll put my intent below, if you want to keep on guessing I guess don't read the rest of the post:
I was trying to describe the symptoms of a computer addict by comparing his addiction to a drug addiction, and personifying this entity of the computer, the one who provides 'the goods', as a drug dealer.
I tried to strike an element of mystery in the 1st stanza by describing a dealer who 'never asks for cash payment', 'needs no money' but instead, 'bought our souls'. This might be a philosophical position, but I believe technological enslavement and addiction detracts something from the human's individuality or detracts from the many other freedoms we have in our lives. I've heard and read lots of anti-technology-addiction stances and this is a general reason against addiction, we don't want to become dependent on technology.
However, this theme may not be overly clear. The only real references are, 1, the 'cathode visions', where the cathode refers to the cathode ray tubes of old computer monitors. I decided to use the word visions because upon looking up descriptions of internet addiction, staring at a 60fps flashing monitor entices us into a kind of hypnotic trance. The word 'vision' also neatly parallels with the hallucinogenic themes of drug use.
'All day I crave' describes withdrawal symptoms, which applies to any kind of addiction, but this and the animal-like descriptions of dependence in the 3rd stanza, strengthens the drug imagery a lot. I thought what might've given away this theme is 'fans and motors'... if you've ever had a crappy laptop you've heard the annoying fan noises it makes after a while.
I think if you take a drug interpretation for this poem, the 2nd stanza makes this look like a confused mess (maybe this describes the hallucination process?), but perhaps I need to explore the themes of technology, addiction and enslavement further. This is not a final copy and this will be subject to change.
If you're still with me, any thoughts on the intent and how it was conveyed?
Thanks again
At 1/28/10 06:55 PM, TrevorW wrote: This poem is about the struggle man feels to fit in, and how this can seemingly be achieved through drug usage/ abuse/ giving in to the whims of others. Yet still, only the dealer (or the person the character is either most interacting with in a positive manor -- minority -- or the person trying to be pleased) understands the character. There is a breakdown and the character just can't find a way to be accepted. But at least one person gets the character -- he or she can cling to that. This probably denotes a downward spiral that will only continue.
Okay, that's a decent interpretation, I can see where you can pick up something like that from, but if he struggles to fit in then why does he have 'loving friends'?
See, I thought I was personifying some kind of entity that we use in our daily lives. The first stanza seems to describe this dealer, strongly as a human character. But perhaps the nature of this dealer implies some personification? I don't think the narrator can be interpreted as a first or second timer (if you take the drug addiction line), the words 'never asks' implies a long experience with this 'dealer'. Did you ever ponder why this dealer 'needs no money' or 'asks for cash payment?' Isn't that what being a drug dealer is about? The profits of (usually) illegal trade?
Now maybe the underlying theme/meaning is not clear because a lot of this poem focuses on the process of addiction itself. 'He bought our souls' is kind of a prelude to the third stanza, which describes the narrator as a horribly dependent *animal* who needs his fix.
But I thought perhaps the second stanza implies to what extent the addiction is about. Think 'cathode visions'. Think 'fans and motors'. What could this possibly allude to?
The last line 'I just got high to come ask you' doesn't follow literary convention in the sense that is poses the reader a question, but I was well aware of what very specific audience this was written for. The very, very specific audience. I might reason that 'i just got high' summarises: succumbing to the sounds of fans and motors and subjecting one's self to cathode visions, as taking drugs because of its addictive nature.
Does that clear anything up? This was not written so much to convey the underlying meaning with great obviousness but to describe the addictive nature, of what this poem describes.
Thanks for the feedback.
I must firstly say my comments after the poem weren't very inspired or anything.
At 1/28/10 01:23 PM, TrevorW wrote: The meaning is pretty much bare boned too.) Poetry has so much more then meter to it. Try focusing on imagery, as this is one of Frost's strongest abilities.
I couldn't say much insightful at 2 AM but I wasn't trying to allude that the only thing special about this poem was meter. It was just a comment.
I thought the second stanza alluded to something. I wouldn't say this poem is about drugs. I thought I dropped hints about meaning throughout the piece, and I tried to tone down the imagery, because I personally don't like to just blurt out the literal.
I was trying to construct a metaphor and compare something to drug addiction/withdrawal symptoms, and personify something as a dealer, but obviously for you guys that wasn't conveyed too well.
Maybe it would help for you guys if you did more then skim it, because personally the type of feedback that I want to get is not to the extent of 'try more than making it rhyme' or 'this is too simple', but rather how I develop the ideas of the poem. A criticism of any devices I used and to what extent it worked.
I feel like everything so far has been a big conclusion after a vague, dismissive skim, and maybe that was because of the lack of intellect in the proceeding commentary.
At 1/28/10 10:15 AM, HahaISuckMoreThanYou wrote: I don't know, it doesn't inspire much imagery when I read it. You should focus on that
I thought maybe I hinted things somewhere but doesn't the second stanza allude to anything?!
(I think everyone's doing an into so...)
Hi I'm Hoogiman and I've been writing for a long time (as has everyone in some form or another).
I just wrote a poem that I thought I'd share.
I did the IB so (hopefully) I have some kind of appreciation of prose/poetry at the end of it. That was actually my first attempt at writing some kind of stand-alone work after the course so hopefully my writing has improved.
I also have a FanFiction.net account which is for my completely unintelligent, ignoring-literary-convention scrawlings. I also spent way too much time there.
I also animate, and I write scripts so creative writing skills really do help there, or I'd like to think so anyway.
(I'll also post the question I did before): Has anyone else here done some kinda extended literary analysis? Like are you doing an English major, taking lit subjects, doing creative writing??!
I'd like to apologise if none of the above made any sense, it's 1:34 AM here.
It seems my dealer knows me well
He never asks for cash payment
He needs no money. I can tell
he bought our souls, never laments.
My loving friends can't steer me from
Those cathode visions bright and clear
All day I crave the beating drum
Of fans and motors in my ear
And when time comes to get my fix
The agitated dog within me, who's had no meat
For weeks on end, will be transfixed
On this fleshy, scrumptious treat
It seems my dealer knows me well
He knows us all as I can tell.
How do we kick this habit soon?
I just got high to come ask you.
---------------------------
Yeah just a poem that... I sat down and wrote. Because I felt that it was necessary to... (okay, sorry about that corny reference)
This is like the first draft/first edit of a poem that I wrote just then. Basically, it can be fixed up or whatever.
Do you guys like it? Any comments/criticism about it? Does it make any sense? The meter sounds very Robert-Frosty but he doesn't own any of it so baaah.
Written from: 12:42 AM-1:20 AM (if that gives you a clue)
My initials are DS-LC in case I ever enter this somewhere/sections of this page comes up so i didn't really steal it.
And yeah my first submitty-thingy to the writing forum.
Click to listen.
I found it too hard to not get excited whilst reading this script, so I just had to read it out loud. This is the result.
Can I get the parts if you make this into a flash?
Fun Tip: Doing a read-through is actually a very good way to see how your script flows and to pick up any spelling/grammar mistakes.
At 1/26/10 09:03 PM, Laughingbox wrote: Well, I (tried) reading Plath's stuff, and man she has a good amount of poetry on her. Sadly, I find it all too confusing. I haven't read much "pro" literature, so I guess this strikes me as unfamiliar. Thank you for helping, even if I can't seem to make sense of it. Hopefully I will, someday.
Got your note by the way and your inbox is full so uh yeah... yer welcome!
A lot of these poets, they seem too abstract to begin with. But if you can start to dissect the meaning behind some of them, even reading what other people say about it, a whole new world will open up.
It's a very daunting thing to start and I didn't get poetry until I was forced to analyse it in class repeatedly for a couple of months. Try finding simple ones and getting help if that's possible, but otherwise just write!
Sylvia Plath is always a good one for dark sort of poems. Some of them are a bit of a hard read, or hard to understand. I'd suggest trying to find an online analysis.
I didn't know this until five minutes ago, but she was part of this movement called 'confessional poetry'.
Confessional poetry emphasizes the intimate, and sometimes unflattering, information about details of the poet's personal life, such as in poems about illness, sexuality, and despondence. Wikipedia
One feature of authors such as her is that she conveys emotions without actually spelling them out through metaphor and simile, using certain images or words to allude to something else.
Try reading her (Sylvia Plath's) poem 'Daddy' because it portrays emotions in a real different sense than how many of us budding poets would right.
</ramble>
Hope that helps! I haven't written a poem after my 2 year literary course study thing but I might try.
I think this might turn out to be a pleasant forum.
Has anyone else here done some kinda extended literary analysis? Either lit major or IB (what I did baby stuff haha) or something?
Okay, my first review/posty thingy in the Writing forum.
Just a couple of questions/comments:
1. You use a motif of light and dark throughout, with imagery of different lights i.e. 'burning' alluding to your emotions. Did you ever think of perhaps using a word to do with light in the closing to emphasise your agony?
2. Is this poem supposed to feel like a stream-of-consciousness, a flow of raging thoughts? Have you thought about dividing the poem into stanzas as it progresses from figurative to a bit more literal? The final two lines seem so different from the rest. Have you thought of dividing that from the rest?
3. Sometimes I think maybe there are too many lines describing the narrator's emotional state... whilst it conveys a clear emotional message I'm wondering if it really needs to take such a length. Sometimes less words can impact more. Could there be a contrast in there? Could there be a happier time before the climax of the poem?
Read a bit wider, even look at non-angsty poems. The way that the pro poets (real technical language there yeah) express emotions are varied. They can simply state it, they might describe something else to allude to it, they might even use an extended metaphor to refer to something.
Also, I think this would be more effective if there was some kind of progression or revelation because I felt a deathy-sorta thing throughout.
That's just my ramblings. Hurrah!
I clicked on a flash just as the change was made and then I was like AAAAAHHHHHH MY EYES
oh god
At 1/26/10 12:05 AM, GiantDouche wrote: Does this shit seem like 90% oranger than it previously was? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BOB?!?!?!?!?!
Bob has actually inserted UV light into the page's code, much like the sun's rays. This means that we will all be blind by the end of March and then will have to buy Newgrounds-branded eye surgery.
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