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Well, I did it. I asked the girl to Homecoming. She said she's not into going to dances. She joked that shes "too cool" to go.

It was awful though. I've never been so terrified in my life. It was really the most pathetic experience that I've ever been through. As soon as I called her name my stomach sank and I could feel the blood circulating throughout my body. I lost thought. I asked her in the exact ways I told myself not to, I was such a little girl. I made myself believe the lie that if I simply asked her, she would say yes and I would have nothing to worry about. Well, she didn't. My sentences slurred together and I can't quite remember what I said. It was a real George McFly moment.

I know I'm making a big deal out of it, she "technically" didn't say no. But if she was interested in me, she would have went to a dance.

Well, it's been a while since I've asked for help here, but I knew this would be the best place to turn to.

As some other users have already mentioned, homecoming is around the corner. I'm in my senior year and really want to experience everything, and that means finally going to the dance, and finally getting a date. I have my eyes on one or two girls that I don't think have a date yet.

So, I have a couple of questions. First, does it matter if I don't know the girl personally at all? I've had them in past years classes but I never really had any discussions with them. We know each other by name only. I feel like it could be awkward if the girl accepted the date but we end up having nothing in common and just have an awkward silent night. Should we have a date before the dance?

Second, when should I ask? The dance is in two or three weeks. Should I ask a few days before, or as soon as possible?

Thats all I was wondering, I'm sure someone else probably had the same questions. Thanks for any replies.

At 9/12/09 11:33 PM, Dawnslayer wrote: Not to keep bumping a two week old topic, but just out of curiosity, how's it workin' for ya, OP? Any progress?

Yes this is a two week old topic. Please keep that in mind whoever posts.

Well, no real progress, but I've been getting a bunch of help from Vincoid of the Relationship Crew

The girl switched out of my Spanish class unfortunately, she had a schedule change. I don't see her much so I don't get to test anything. Honestly I'm trying to forget about her and try my moves on other girls, slowly, slowly, slowly, I've been building up my confidence. However, every time I pass her sitting with her girlfriends at lunch, I go back to my old self.

I've had a lot of good PM's with Vincoid and someday when I feel my therapy is complete I will post all that he has taught me. It's been going slow at the moment because of the class switch as I mentioned.

You can always PM me btw, I will respond quicker than to these threads simply because I don't expect someone to bump it after two weeks.

At 8/28/09 07:32 PM, Patton3 wrote: Hey grand? I'm no relationship guru, and I know that queasy/butterfly feeling all to well. But why don't you just chat with her a bit, get on a bit more of a friendly basis with her... then ask her out on a date. Preferably something you know she would enjoy.
BTW, all those elaborate plans really mean bupkis. Just talk to her, and ask her out to some place.
Well, that's my 2 cents anyway.

I don't understand but I feel that somehow in life I was traumatized by unknown forces, causing me to be extremely introverted and shy. I nearly failed drama in freshman year because I simply could not stand up in front of so many people. Its a shame, because I'm genuinely fun and loud with my circle of friends. I don't get it, I think before I can evolve to female relationships I need to gain some sort of major confidence. It's uncontrollable, and I don't think anyone would really be able to relate. Its pretty much like...phobia status.

I'll admit my self-esteem is pretty low. I'm not very fit, and don't see myself as the most visually appealing person in the world. Its not really low though. I have nice eyelashes, a girl in a distant universe once commented.

At 8/28/09 04:47 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 8/27/09 06:30 PM, GrandSpank wrote: ANYWAY ANYWAY, I'm an uber-virgin-fag that simply wants to talk to this girl, maybe get her to come to the movies with me or like...go bowling or something. I dont know anything about Lutherans and their code of dating, perhaps she wouldn't even be allowed a relationship. But in any case, I want to talk to her, what do I do?

Open your mouth and speak. Seriously, all she is is a girl, nothing special.

Of course, it's not as easy as that with fear running through you and your mind taking all sorts of possibilities in account ranging from the most disastrous to the most wonderful ones where you sweep her off her feet.
Reality is that taking possibilities in account is useless and all you really need is not things to say, but a better image of yourself. Fear is caused by a lack of confidence in one self. You have no prove of being able to talk to a girl and make her like you so you have no trust in your ability to do so.
What you need to know is that fear is your ally. Fear is to the mind what physical pain is to the body; a sign, a motivation. If you have pain somewhere in your body, it shows you something is wrong and then you are motivated to fix it by taking medicine, going to a doctor, the hospital, etc.
Fear is a sign of something being wrong with your mental health. In this case it's telling you you are inexperienced in the department of women and dating. Instead of running away from the fear (and thus living with it) you should fix the problem and take it head on, thus removing it by becoming familiar and comfortable with that what you do not know.

So, if you want to feel less fear when talking to girls, realize that the only way to do so is to have more trust in yourself and to actually do it. You can't get rid of fear by avoiding the problem.

As for the dating, I read in the other topic that you already received some information on Lutherans, but if you need more info, I suggest you use something like Wikipedia.

As for the talking, I suggest you strike up a conversation with her outside of class. Just go up to her and ask her how she's doing. When she's answered, tell her you saw her walking by her self and thought she might use some friendly hangout. If she shows appreciation for that, start a conversation about the things she likes, her hobbies, her aspirations, etc.
You can do that as a start and then progress from there. If you need more info on that, you can ask me after you've done this or you can look through the pages of this crew as I've got loads of posts on the subject.

Hey.

I went to school today feeling enlightened and confidant (I read through the crew for hours listening to similar situations to mine). I got to Spanish, sat down, started feeling a little queasy. She walked in. "I can do this, I got this."

The class went by slowly. I was planning elaborate battle plans in my head as how to approach her when the bell rings. My plan was to rush ahead in front of her, and hold open the door (I know, very elaborate). I was then hoping that she would give me a smile or a simple "thanks", as to which I would reply, trembling, "Hey, you look familiar..."etc.

That was the plan

The bell rang, I rushed ahead, held open the door. She slowly approached...I was ready...she walked right past me. No thanks, no smile, no eye contact, nothing. I felt crushed...I felt useless that I couldn't man up and just say something anyway. I couldn't say anything. Crippled, I stumbled to my next class.

Now, keeping my failure out of mind, you mentioned that I should try to "tell her you saw her walking by her self and thought she might use some friendly hangout". That seems kind of like, rude or something, not that I would have experience. "Hey, I noticed you have no friends, want to talk to me?"

Anyway, thanks for the help, I'll try not to give up letting these feelings rot within me.

Well, I'll see what I can do within the next few weeks. If I get progress, I suppose I'll let you know.

I just recently posted this on General, and I was pointed here. So, Ill just copy pasta if you dont mind.

HI

So, the school year has started (I'm a junior) and theres a really cute girl in my Spanish class. She's really quiet in class and in the halls she doesn't seem to have too many friends, though she sometimes calls someone on her phone in between classes. I assume she is either a sophmore or even possibly a freshman.

ANYWAY, I've been trying to get the guts to walk up to her and say something, but my only class with her is spanish and its dead silent in there. We haven't said one word to each other by the way. So, since I'm a wreck of a person and break into tremors at the sight of females, I've been observing and finding out as much data about her as possible

She doesn't have a facebook or a myspace, which is wierd honestly, for a highschool girl. Today I suppose I found the reason why: She was wearing a Lutheran private school shirt. So, shes a lutheran and most likely has over-protective parents.

ANYWAY ANYWAY, I'm an uber-virgin-fag that simply wants to talk to this girl, maybe get her to come to the movies with me or like...go bowling or something. I dont know anything about Lutherans and their code of dating, perhaps she wouldn't even be allowed a relationship. But in any case, I want to talk to her, what do I do?

At 8/27/09 05:11 PM, GiantDouche wrote:

At 8/27/09 05:04 PM, GrandSpank wrote: Are you supossed to make it obvious to the person that you like them and want to get to know them?

No make them think that you are their friend immediately. So that they will use their telekinesis to read your mind and uncover that you want to date them. She seems to have a wonderful personality. I mean it's not like you just want to date her because you are a shallow 12 year old twat. One question, if you are clearly not at all prepared to be in a relationship, why are so enamored with dating this random person? It's not like you have to get a girlfriend.

I dont know, I suppose I worded it incorrectly.

Do I rush in like a train and ask them to the movies on the first encounter? OR, do I slowly spark a conversation and become like, acquantances or something and THEN pop a date?

At 8/27/09 04:57 PM, Dawnslayer wrote: Try this:

-See if you can catch her on the way out the door.
-Offer to carry her books, or something similar; you'll get the chance to talk to her for a couple minutes on the way to her next class. (If she declines the offer, she'll still appreciate the gesture and you'll have your foot in the door.)
-Ask her how she's liking Spanish so far. If she's having trouble, offer to help as her study partner; if she's doing well, ask her if she might be able to help you. If she accepts, you can start meeting with her after school; if not, she'll still take note that you're a nice guy, and you'll still have your foot in the door.

About the religion thing: there are two kinds of Lutherans - those who are normal, and those who have a stick up their ass. (This is coming from a Lutheran friend of mine.) Denomination does not necessarily dictate persona or belief; indeed, she might not like being a Lutheran, but feels she has no choice in the matter because of her family. The quiet attitude and lack of friends could be a reflection of this - or it could be a reflection of her devotion to being a Lutheran. There's no way to know until you get to know her; and really, the best way to understand the Lutheran way would be to ask her about it.

So long story short, ignore the religion bit, and just try to ease your way in...

Or alternatively, buy her some flowers and just come straight out with it. Sometimes the best course of action is to force yourself into action.

I wish you luck.

Thank you, the most heart full advice yet. I may want to try something along the lines of the whole spanish tutoring etc, but I dont know.

I mean, I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP. <period. Are you supossed to make it obvious to the person that you like them and want to get to know them? Asking to carry her books just seems so out of line that she would catch on right away, and might feel akward about it. Anyways, these days everyone fits books into their backpacks.

At 8/27/09 04:50 PM, Makeshift wrote: You're 31, you fucking PEDOPHILE!
Also, "your mom" isn't funny.... I'm guessing your age is backwards

Sorry, using little brothers account to post

At 8/27/09 04:26 PM, Zack wrote: walk up and fucking talk to her, stop being a bitch.

Well, theres many ways to approach that. Maybe I worry too much simply because I know if I fuck up I wont have another chance with a girl nearly as attractive.

How do you start a conversation with a complete stranger who barely talks in the first place?

At 8/27/09 04:15 PM, Wtfpwn wrote: i'm sorry for your lack of balls. im afraid that the only way you will ever get over your anxiety is if you stop your pathetic ways.

no but seriously you're not going to get anywhere with anxiety like that. start small, stretch your comfort zone gradually until you can at least say hello to a girl without feeling so scared. start by smiling at girls or something, making eye contact, then gradually move to saying hello and then to convorsations. you'll be setting yourself up to failure if you just try to jump right into the dating scene at your current state. heart failure that is.

I mean, its not quite as bad as I said it was. I can talk to girls, just not too well with ones I find attractive. I dont why. However, when I feel that its a girl that I actually have a chance with, I freeze in place anywhere within their sight. This is one of those cases

At 8/27/09 04:12 PM, mastershake141 wrote:

At 8/27/09 04:08 PM, GrandSpank wrote: I've been observing and finding out as much data about her as possible

That doesn't sound stalkerish at all.

Yeah I know, I'll admit its very close to stalking, but it usually consists of finding their facebook, seeing if they have a relationship status etc.

However, she lacks a facebook.

At 8/27/09 04:10 PM, DarthRacoon wrote: Doy, sit next to her and talk to her.

That's a start.

Oh, forgot to mention, we have assigned seating and shes in the opposite side of the room.

HI

So, the school year has started (I'm a junior) and theres a really cute girl in my Spanish class. She's really quiet in class and in the halls she doesn't seem to have too many friends, though she sometimes calls someone on her phone in between classes. I assume she is either a sophmore or even possibly a freshman.

ANYWAY, I've been trying to get the guts to walk up to her and say something, but my only class with her is spanish and its dead silent in there. We haven't said one word to each other by the way. So, since I'm a wreck of a person and break into tremors at the sight of females, I've been observing and finding out as much data about her as possible

She doesn't have a facebook or a myspace, which is wierd honestly, for a highschool girl. Today I suppose I found the reason why: She was wearing a Lutheran private school shirt. So, shes a lutheran and most likely has over-protective parents.

ANYWAY ANYWAY, I'm an uber-virgin-fag that simply wants to talk to this girl, maybe get her to come to the movies with me or like...go bowling or something. I dont know anything about Lutherans and their code of dating, perhaps she wouldn't even be allowed a relationship. But in any case, I want to talk to her, what do I do?

you should do the new star craft2 game because its strategy so theres mant stucky partrs

At 4/2/09 08:22 PM, ThePeasant wrote:

At 4/2/09 07:40 PM, Lantay77 wrote:

At 4/2/09 07:33 PM, GrandSpank wrote:
Coder

noun

a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs [syn: programmer]

Hmm, well "coder" just doesn't sound right to me.

are you on crack..?

possibly

At 4/2/09 07:26 PM, Lantay77 wrote: PLEASE, PLEASE if you are going to ask for a programmer.

PLEASE say the proper term.

It is "programmer" not "coder".

PLEASE, and thanks.

Coder

noun

a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs [syn: programmer]

At 3/6/09 08:15 PM, PastryMan wrote: Another from iScribble. I drew the mustached man.

wtf is in the corner?

i think you have to do like a test n stuff like a newgrounds test n essay and stuff

fap lolol

what is this

At 8/10/08 04:31 AM, hijackreaper wrote: Pm's? What? I was simply congratulating you on your reward.

Now let's take this somewhere else.

ya like the back of your trailer

At 8/10/08 04:28 AM, hijackreaper wrote:

At 8/10/08 04:26 AM, GrandSpank wrote: i know a lot about naruto so if you need help i can tell you about characters and all the informarion and things like that

Congratulations, You have bumped a year old thread! You really are the most retarded BBS user in the current world.

stop following me you are a stalker you send me pms and harass me. its not funny

i know a lot about naruto so if you need help i can tell you about characters and all the informarion and things like that

i dont get what does it have to do with it

this will get loked lol

if we make a icon will it be oficcial and go into the newgrounds level up?

ive played battlefield befor and its not so mature

but tadpoles do evolve they get the legs and they lose the tail turn into frogs