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DUDE ma GF is just like that and more!

She can run 60 mph, shits gold bricks, and has 4 vaginas! Yippi kaye muther fucker!

At 1/17/09 08:17 PM, C-Dizzle44 wrote: really, i thought it wasn't going to be a waste of my time.

but as i progressed i decided to skip past the bullshit and go to the end.

i noticed he said "he broke his hand over my head" and "i slapped him across the face with the back of my hand."

two things.

-i didnt finish the story because it WAS the biggest waste of my time.

-the only people you should backhand are woman.

[shamelessly rubbing hands on face] dont make guys look stupid next time.

You can't be fucking serious. Read the shit for real, read your post, and then fucking kill yourself.

At 1/16/09 11:28 PM, Parlux wrote: This has to be the best Parody "I got in a fight today" thread. I tip my hat to you sir.

Epic win

Wow. Someone got it.

Animated Clerks is fucking stupid.

At 1/17/09 08:48 AM, Branflakes890 wrote:

At 1/17/09 08:47 AM, Monkey-Boy wrote: It's called OCD

Wat do you mean?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The name speaks for its self.

They're not your friends. I have friends who smoke but they only offer it to me. They don't try to convince me to try it.

If you're scared of these people, then stay the fuck away from them. Trust your gut.

At 1/16/09 10:17 PM, ErnieVoid wrote: Great story. I should have read it.

You weren't supposed to. It was a lame ass fight thread post.

Ok so I got in a fight today: This is 100% not made up.

Ok right, so there's this asshole kid (I'll call him Jackass) at ma school who's always making fun of me because of my hoody. I look gangster in it and it's fashionably sensible so I don't see what the big freaking deal is.

So today he kept flipping it over my head from the desk behind me. I played it cool like I always do and just ignored the idiot. So he finally gets bored of that and starts putting his pencils and stuff in it. That's when I flip it away from him and steal all his crap. So then he gets all mad telling me "Give me my stuff back" and I just calmly replied "Sorry, takers keepers". This set him off big time.

He just got all red faced and I thought "no big deal". So later out during break period/lunch I was just chilling with my friends when a huge herd of assholes being led by Jackass show up. EVERYONE starts yelling for a fight and a huge crowd swells up out of nowhere. He demanded his stuff back and I explained to him I didn't have it anymore. That's because I threw that shit away.

So he's starts shouting about beating my ass and stomping around. I don't flinch any. He's big as fuck and boxes but what this fucker doesn't know is that I'm a fucking black belt in Kung-Fu. Not Karate -- Kung fucking Fu. I know styles and strikes that can kill a man. He gets all done shouting and winds up for the first swing.

BAM! I break that bitch in the face with the back of my hand. I slapped that bitch into the fucking dirt. Everyone starts yelling "OOOOOOHHHH JACKASS GOT BITCH SLAPPED". I watch his pitiful ass get up and walk away trying not to cry. Some of the hot chicks watching (including his GF lol) walk up to me afterwards, shamelessly asking for my number and even offering to beat my dick off in the bathroom! No joke. So I thinks it's over but as it turns out.. it's not.

Near the last half of last period, my one good friend is running from classroom to classroom shouting about a fucking rematch in the parking lot across from the school. I was shocked and a little pissed off. I thought it was over! Now I have to fight again??

So I get out there a little late (cashed in a reign check for one of those hand jobs) and Jackass gets the whole crowd to start calling me scared. Everyone's fucking laughing at me so I just start to get real fucking pissed off. Jackass gets right up in my face and is all like "Try and slap me again! Do it bitch"
He then immediately (thinking he's fast or something) tries to hook me with a left. I let him hit me, just to teach his ass a lesson.

HE BREAKS HIS HAND off the side of my head! He starts crying trying like a bitch and I start laughing and kicking his ass. I lay a solid one in his gut so he's hunched over then I bring my foot down right on top of his head, breaking his face into the pavement. He's out cold and there's a POOL of blood forming around his head. The whole crowd goes silent and then I hear the school resource officer yelling for everything to stop.

3 of these fucking pigs show up, pushing through the crowd to get to me. Pig#1 sees the blood and Jackass and pulls his stun gun on me. No fucking joke, a fucking tazer. Before I can even let off a "don't taze me, bro" he fucking shoots that shit right at me. No one seems to have caught on to me being a fucking kung fu black belt. I CATCH THE WIRE IN MID AIR. It was already headed towards my fist so all I had to do is close em. The cop then FREAKS out and the other cops start moving towards me with mace.

This is the part where I'm fucking awesome. Still holding the tazer wire, I wrap it around my fist as fast I can and just punch Pig#2 right in the throat. HIS ass gets shocked and the whole crowd starts freaking out. It was sooo crazy. More cops just come out of nowhere and start macing everybody. This is where I get even more pissed off.

Everyone starts rioting and I get pushed a few times so I decide to just end this shit. I REACH MY HAND INTO THE FUCKING AIR, LET OUT A ROAR AND FIRE A BEAM OF ENERGY FROM MY FUCKING EYES STRAIGHT INTO THE GROUND BELOW ME. I PUNCHED A HOLE THROUGH THE FUCKING PLANET WITH FUCKING LASER EYES.

EVERYONE IS DEAD.
I AM GOD COMPARED TO YOU.
THERE IS NO FIGHT THAT YOU WILL EVER BE IN THAT COULD COMPARE TO THIS.
THERE IS NO FIGHT THAT YOU COULD EVER PROVE MORE POSSIBLE THAN THIS.

THIS IS THE FIGHT THREAD TO

END
ALL
FIGHT
THREADS

seriously.

When I go to the beach, I don't actually go in the water. I still manage to shit and piss in it though.

At 1/16/09 02:33 PM, EpicFail wrote:

At 1/16/09 02:32 PM, carbonwater wrote: Too much Matrix for you.

Go to bed.

No... I am not interested at all in Matrix, in fact, I sat through five minutes of that movie, about 3 - 4 years ago, before I wanted to kill myself, 5 minutes was too much. That movie is horrible...

And I just woke up.

Fuck you, asshole. That movie fucking kicked your ass up and down the fucking school yard. Oh, next time you wanna get all in depth and philosophical about some shit, try narrowing down the fucking topic. Life in general? Really? Are you some kind of retard?

This has got to be the most retarded fucking thing I've ever read. You just keep blabbing on and on about some bullshit from 4 years ago, some bitch you're "involved with", and how she can't love you because you kissed some other bitch and turned yourself in? You try to get all philosophical and preachy, and then you ask if all men are cheaters? How the fuck would they be? Not everyone is a fuck-off like you.

The more I think about it, the more fucking stupid it gets. It's beyond retarded. Reading this shit probably kills brain cells quicker than drinking gasoline. I feel a gurgling in my stomach now and I know that feeling: bloody diarrhea. This piece of shit is so god-awful and stupid that my body is ejecting dead brain matter through my ass. My fucking ass!

Fuck this story and fuck you, OP!

I don't mean to sound like a prude but you're a fuck-off. As it turns out, that bitch is an actual person, not a piece of meat. Grow the fuck up.

At 1/12/09 09:20 PM, selena18 wrote: I'm kind of flat.. yipee!

Shut up, freak.

At 1/12/09 07:55 PM, Crusher117 wrote: 10 and a half.

The half, I fell asleep due to sex-coma

Can't go into a sex-coma unless there's actual sex involved, retard.

Yo stop being a bitch. There's an assload of zombie games out there and your telling me your tired of em all? What's one more drop in the bucket? Asswipe.

What really pisses me off are fuckoffs who, in the middle of a discussion, just throw their 'actual' penis size out there. Even if your dick really is as big as you claim, it has nothing to do with the point your trying to make. Having a big one doesn't make you some kind of fucking expert on average sized dick psychology either. Fuck you through the drive through, shithead.

Seriously? You shitheads are actually discussing this stupid shit? Fuck.

You have to go into details on how this would happen. I don't believe there is a nation of Vampires with a powerful enough military to make any sort of take over. Plus, isn't their weakness fucking SUN LIGHT? Yah, this invasion is totally possible.

If I was watching AS and that shit came on, I'd throw my cat right through my tv screen.

At 1/10/09 09:57 PM, RKThrilla wrote: Smacking your children should be legal...

how about MANDATORY?

It's fucking cream cheese. Like on a bagel? Except sweetened with bullshit on top. THERE

It's enormous! Magnificent! I christen thee - the TEXTANIC.

My dick feels great the way it is. The best part? It can't get caught on sharp corners or clothes hangers.

Believe it or not, a lot of people really suck at video games. Most just have their own ways of enjoying them, which might exclude the enjoyment of a particular aspect that you personally value. It's hard to see something you like get discarded carelessly and that's probably where the anger comes from.

Try to keep an open mind to your friend's ways. That or make fun of him. I rip on my friend all the time for being a shithead when it comes to some games - It helps.

Try nicotine gum. I heard you don't even need to light it. Just unwrap and chew -- YUM!

At 1/5/09 08:31 PM, Onizero wrote: I am still in the middle school *sigh* so my peers do immature stuff like pretending to jack off and damn near almost hump the teacher when they're turned around.

Back in my middle school, kids jacked off in class for real. There were also some rapes too.

You gotta do what you gotta do -- don't be too hard on yourself. You're a kind person for the mercy you gave the puppy and for the concerns afterward. And as for the mother, she's a dog so she'll forget the incident soon enough.

Christmas is a powerful current. It's ability to irritate is very understandable.

Mine has always been Kimbo Slice.

Man, you're obviously mentally handicapped. There should be a BBS rule that prevents your types from posting.