Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 12/3/09 11:58 PM, Rayth wrote: I DONT KNOW MAN FUCK THE BLAXXXXXXXXXXX

This is why I'm glad I'm no longer a mod.

At 12/4/09 06:33 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote: Two days ago there was a planned power outage while power lines were laid. The electric company dug up my phone line and it just got fixed. What did I miss?

EVERYTHING.

Also, I just found out SnV got booked for the New Daisy (largest non-arena venue in memphis) with a big fat bankroll.

Also, I hope to be scoring some of the proverbial LSD this weekend. Hopefully. Failing that, I'll be buying a lot of booze.

Also, I just cooked a chicken with potatosand string beans in my fire place. Goddamn I rock.

Furthermore... um... furthermore... uh....

Oh, right.

Apparently I'm the best topic creator on newgrounds, with my chief competition being Pox.

WOOHOO!!!

Silly Evark.

Don't you know science IS a faithbased religion?

You have to have faith in shit like universal constants and time continuity in order to science to make any sense at all.

At 12/4/09 04:27 PM, blazer133 wrote:
It isn't that amazing, I played it once then got bored of it.

I bet you you're the kind of guy that plays a 2000$ guitar for like, five minutes, then gets bored too, huh?

In america, those people would be considered athletes.

As in, pro football linemen.

to you brits, foot ball is game where hetero sexuals carry a ball in their hands and kick only when no other option represents itself. It is NOT a game where skinny queers frolic in a large open field trying not to knock each other over.

At 11/29/09 07:56 PM, camobch0 wrote: Thats seriously not funny. Can we just stop with the gay bashing? It's really old, and stopped being funny a long time ago. Now it's just pissing me off.

This is kind of my point.

Queers aren't gay.

Queer directly translates as a synonym for "Strange"

Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches are queer.

At 11/29/09 07:46 PM, Toukeman wrote:

But most of all fo use jack off every once in a while. So doesn't that make ALL of us queers?

And....?

I thought this was already known.

I feel, and rightfully so, that the age of queer should return.

You see, unlike fags, queers aren't necessarily homosexual. Jerking off incessantly to porn isn't gay, but it IS queer. Do you like footjobs? Then you're queer. Anal? Queer. Ooey Gooey facials? queer Queer QUEER.

You see kids, when I was a child, we didn't play football. We played a game called "smear the queer" where the queer was well, that should be obvious, and the people doing the smearing were... well, everyone else. Obviously who the queer was was a bit of a flavor of the week, sort of thing, for the purposes of variety (besides, they got fast from all the running, don't you know)

So queers, what do you say of this proposal?

At 11/29/09 06:46 PM, ImaSmartass2 wrote: Funk's alt, do you hate yourself?

I only hate the parts of me that aren't already made of pure hatred.

I don't think I have any more of those left, though.

At 11/28/09 05:18 PM, SteveGuzzi wrote: why hullo tharrr Chris.

i can understand not wanting to be a mod anymore but i take it you've gotten your old account back by now soooo... yeah. hhwwat?

I assure you, good sir, that I don't have my account back.

I haven't gotten any replies from headmod, and I've emailed from two different accounts.

I have no idea what's going on.

'A Modest Proposal'-type satire... it gets kinda old hat. just sayin.

NEVAR!!! Besides, old hats are comfortable.

you're a cool cat. weird as shit, but a cool cat nonetheless.

I come from a city where I'm strange just for being white. All white people in Memphis are crazy as ballz.

You've got me feeling EMOtions
Like I've never ever felt be-fore
Whoa oa oa, whoa oa oa!

See what happens when you leave the path of Hate?

At 11/28/09 12:52 PM, Ericho wrote: While I appreciate your work on trying to become a better person, I suggest that you really try to stop hating everything, as it is very difficult to become a better person as you do that. I mean, you honestly can't be that bad if you haven't been permanently banned, which I believe can happen to you on the forums.

Ooooh, contraire.

Hate is the source of all joy. His problem is that he's still confusing hate for ANGER, which is an emotion, and as such has no place in the life of a logical human being. Dogs have anger, sadness, etc, but people should aspire to something higher than that.

All emotions are merely chemicals in your brain. They're like drugs; they changes they make in your are only superficial and temporary. You have to kill your emotions and function purely on a logical level. Once you get to that point you can learn to control your emotions and use them to your advantage, like an athlete on steroids.

At 11/27/09 01:09 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote:

At 11/27/09 01:06 PM, Otto wrote: You take this shit too seriously, Funk

He is what Moses couldn't be: A good prophet.

And yes, I'm starting to take this seriously too

There's no such thing as a good prophet. A prophet is a man, and all living things are tainted, above all men. I am merely a prophet, of the only kind there is.

At 11/27/09 12:06 PM, MrFinland wrote: Why are you so gay?

He's not gay, silly, just queer. Gay means happy, but he's not happy, just... strange.

And by strange I mean he needs to shove a man up his ass.

At 11/27/09 03:07 AM, PinballWizard976 wrote: EVERY day? hmmm.....

Yes, EVERY DAY. Ever watch an episode of Cops? How about the Maury Povich show? Men and women, once with bright futures, now screaming "BUT I LOOOOOOOVE HIM!!!" at the top of their lungs while either being dragged off to jail or finding out they'll be raising a welfare baby for the next 18 years.

but anyways, when you're in a relationship, whether it's some illusion or hormones or whatever, it's still a good feeling. sure when it ends it sucks, but having a ton of good emotions, then some bad, then back to being mellow is certainly better then being mellow all the time. i'd rather hate and feel sad and stuff then feel nothing at all, but i'd definitely take the good emotions of the hate ones.

Hate isn't an emotion. Emotions are for animals. Hate is the logical, pervasive wish to destroy something. There's no feeling in it.
:: you talk about the benefits of killing nature, but what about the things that are detrimental to nature? walk by a powerplant that's giving off fumes everywhere and destroying the clean air you love. hard to breathe isn't it?

And now that electricity cooks my food, heats my home, runs all my marvelous technology. Without that power plant, I'd still be burning trees to cook and heat my home, which puts out MORE of that smoke. The destruction of the air, the destruction of the fuel for the power plant, these are the things that benefit me.

Or look at a valley that once was beautiful and bustiling with nature and flowers scarred and torn apart by condos. Destruction is never good.

Nature and flowers are disgusting. Plants are just sick forms of rot that fester in the sun, digesting the shit of countless animals to make their stems, roots and leaves. A condo, that has a purpose that benefits a man, but a flower, or a blade of grass? Just another patch of soil that could be producing crops, wasted.

destruction and hatred always end up fucking you over in the end.

Haha, you still think there's a way to not get fucked over. Even the greatest men die alone.

And besides, i have a really great spot down my street, where i can chill in the grass, surrounded by trees, and just lay down and relax. to just be completely at ease, and not worry about anything. why would i want to destroy something like that? It's one of my favorite things to do. i certainly don't hate it, and i want it to keep going, since it rejuvenates me.

And when you sit on that grass, you crush it and deprive it of life giving life. Your simple act of walking on that grass destroys it. That is where the joy in sitting on that patch comes from. You simply haven't been thinking about it.

No, it's taking the clean canvas and changing it into something better. would you walk around a museum and look at white canvases? it's improving something that once was nothing.

A white peice of canvas is pure. It doesn't NEED to be changed. It's fine the way it is. However, in YOU there is a sickness, a wish to change things, to taint them. All humanity shares this trait.

Is there something wrong with the moon, for being filled with craters and devoid of life? Of course not. But yet it was the sickness of man to mar that perfection with a lunar lander and an american flag. Before, it was perfect, now, just another thing mankind has spread it's filth on.

i actually did give a good bit of thought about what you are saying before i posted instead of just jumping to what i already believe in. just to clear that up.

Ah, there's your problem; you think humans are fundamentally good.
We're not.

At 11/27/09 03:47 AM, BlackClown wrote:

I hope I too die lonely and intelligent.

Everyone dies alone. It's part of the subjective nature of life.

I guess you've never held someone in your arms, and still felt alone. Those who have know exactly what I'm talking about.

At 11/27/09 03:50 AM, LBRocker wrote: FUNK, I'm sorry for asking about Iron fist. I thought it was a joke. I had no idea that it was a real thing.

Yeah, that's a bit fucking late, isn't it?

Well, at least I'm off tour now. You have no IDEA the stuff I wasn't allowed to talk about before now.

Punch her in the eye and say "I'm the only man for you! You'll never do better than me!"

At 11/27/09 11:08 AM, GoodfellaLFC wrote: I'm not a troll if I was, I'd do a much better job. My OP was genuine, if you'd had seen the person I was on about you'd be mind fucked as well. My second post was meant as a joke, when the fuck did Newgrounds get this tetchy?

When it became filled with uppity queers that give a shit about THE FUCKING INTERENT.

At 11/27/09 01:50 AM, PinballWizard976 wrote: well if you enjoy it so much, then why the hell are you so 'life sucks,'

I never say that.

fuck love, hate, bullshit' type stuff man?

Love is a lie. It's as simple as that. It's merely a fancy way of saying greed. Admit it it's a conquest or don't, I don't care, but don't for one instant think love is more than an extension of the chemical high of heroin.

sounds to me like you have a good time, why bother making this tough exterior. sounds pretty lame man. and i just don't care about your personal life. so, yeah, i don't know you. and you don't know me. so this whole argument is pretty stupid.

I see love destroy lives every day. Love is the antithesis of joy. The sooner you stop believing in love and embrace the path of hate, the happier you will be.

how does 'hating' stuff bring joy? that's like saying sadness brings happiness. they're opposites. i might be able to get what you're saying. like 'i love to hate i dunno courtney love or something' but that's just something that's odd to live your life by. and stupid.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't make it stupid.

Every thing in this world would profit from your death, right down to the tiny bacteria living on your skin that would begin to flourish and devour you the second your immune system ceases to keep them in check. You exist purely in how you destroy and acquire your environment. Mankind flourishes by the destruction of nature, and hate facilitates that destruction.

Burn a tree, burn it because you hate it, burn it because you want to see it destroyed. Now the fire warms you, protects you from the cold. Kill a wild animal, sear its flesh with fire, devour it. Is is not delicious? Wear it's skin as a trophy to the victory of hate. Even vegans wear leather shoes.

Nature doesn't love you. It wishes to destroy you, its animals seek to devour you, its diseases seek to make you rot where you stand. Hate nature, hate this world, and you have made the first step to dominance, power, victory, and joy.

it. whether i'm high, or just getting really into a painting, it's really a fun experience (life i mean).

Isn't painting just a way of destroying a perfectly clean and pure canvas, tainting it with your pigments to fulfill your own whimsy?

it's just you've been saying the same stuff forever. and then there's another hundred assholes who will say the same thing. what the fuck, stop stuffing it down my throat.

I'm only trying to make your life better. When I was a child, I believed in lies. Now I am a man. I believe in hate.

At 11/27/09 12:49 AM, PinballWizard976 wrote: Seriously, just read or paint or walk or do SOMETHING that makes you happy. enjoy life. that's what the purpose of life is. to enjoy it.

You must not know me.

I play bad ass metal shows on a pretty regular basis. I'm one of the best drummers in Memphis. I don't even have to advertise shows anymore because people just generally talk about what I'm doing when I'm not around anyway.

I basically know hard to party harder than any man on the fucking PLANET. Don't tell me I don't fucking enjoy life. Joy through conquest, conquest through hate. Hate is the source of all joy.

not to question every last little detail and think about shit on a global scale. fuck that. just love life, and have a good time.

Love is a lie. Only hate brings the joy. Maybe if you'd spent more time paying attention to what makes you happy, you'd know that.

Also, shut the fuck up with your apathy. it's really annoying.

Bitter much, bitch?

At 11/26/09 09:11 PM, SevenSeize wrote: Tell us about the strippers

They're all freinds with Jessica, who's G from Torn Apart's girlfriend. Zane, the ex drummer with the broken hand (hopefully he'll be back) has a stripper girlfriend too, but I don't know her personally.

Anyways, Doc, the 3 time Viet Vet had installed a brass pole in The House of Thor, and I was opening a show there with Endless Nameless. Massacre Machine was playing, that's Big Daddy Shred's band, and this SUPER hot black stripper with the music video ass starts testing the pole, seeing if it will take all her weight and be stable.

I mean this chick was doing some Matrix shit, holding her body out perpindicular to the pole with only her arms and swinging her ass a good three feet out from the top of the pole, her stillettoed heels jutting out over the heads of at least 20 people or so.

Then she started taking her clothes off.

She starts breaking a sweat with the routine, flipping her body completely upside down while holding herself onto the pole with only one leg, her pert coathanger nipples peeking playfully over her red Victoria's Secret bra.

She smells like peppermint.

Then Doc grabs the mic, and drunkenly yells out "Hell the fuck yeah! Fucking Massacre Machine!" and the bulldyke vocalist of MM responds "What, this your first time going to a Massacre Machine show?" and Doc hands ME the mic, because he knows I do commentary for the oil wrestling matches for SnV.

And do you know what I say?

No, seriously, do you know what I said? I was fucking HAMMERED; I pounded a whole pitcher, 3 shots of yager, and a crapload of tequila.

At 11/26/09 11:45 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote: Also:
Fucking post that shit NOW!!

The note I sent Sensationalism is fucking PRICELESS.

I wrote every last letter in my own blood.

And it's not a short letter.

At 11/26/09 07:03 PM, Grizzli wrote:

Hate. In all its natural beauty.

It took a lot of blood to write the letter in there, too.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to write something like that before the blood starts clotting in the stylus? You have to squeeze it all fresh with a torniquette, then have a SPECIAL fucking stylus with extra wide tines (I custom made my own.... I do this a lot). And no, before you ask, I DON'T use animal blood.

That's just cheating.

At 11/26/09 07:08 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote: Yay! FUNK's back! And he doesn't have to be a pansy about not pissing everyone off with the relentless hatred anymore! :D

(Not that he gave a fuck beforehand, but anyway...)

Lawlz. You have no IDEA how many times I deleted huge posts because they were too fucking evil. At least one a day on a day I was online. As a mod, I had to not cross certain lines.

I'm not dead, I'm just bigboned.

Wait, if I was bigboned, I'd be taller, wouldn't I?

Oh, right. Fuck.

At 11/26/09 12:32 AM, Sensationalism wrote: I got your package!!!

Fucking A. I was getting worried about that shit; I sent you one of the ORIGINAL Phoenixes in that one, as well as a bloody dragon. Not even Poozy has a Phoenix, and his dragon is blood free.

Did you make a thread? I don't actually have any pictures of the Phoenix of my own, just the real thing.

At 11/26/09 12:22 AM, EpicFail wrote: If you're actually FunkBRS you can post what we were PMing eachother about a few weeks ago.

What, the whole philosophical issues thing?

Where you have to learn to be emotionally dead inside so people can't manipulate you?

I was unaware I was going to be quizzed on it, but I couldn't possibly be more actually me.

I mean, who the fuck posts like this?

At 11/25/09 10:54 PM, Tykwa wrote:
One thing, Earfetish, Where is he now? Thats right, He's gone too.
Also, I'd like to say, I visit Radiogrounds still, If only the DJ's actually followed the schedule.

We had dreams, We had things in our grasps, We were not prepared, They are all but crumbles, But it can be shaped.

Dude, seriously, and the infamous Earfetish sigs? That shit was fucking priceless!

Back when we had fucking ANIMATED sigs, goddamnit.

At 11/25/09 10:31 PM, Tykwa wrote:

The outcasts are strong, Those who oppose the society, opposing those who wish all the same, The same ideas, The power not to follow stereotypes, Not being afraid of not fitting in, We may wish to fit in and be accepted, But we are who we are, We stand as ourselves, We are the few and the mighty, We let society crumble while we still stand, Watching alone as we can do nothing, But not affected either.

This is us.

For a while, I had an entire dogma written out about how people should attempt to use different viewpoints, to willingly think of themselves as outcasts, so that they could honestly look at their own political and philosophical stand points. I called it "DAGism" meaning it was the philosophy of the DAG, or Devil's Advocate's Group. We were based out of New Zealand and the site was run by Judge Dredd.

Me, Judge Dredd, Shih, FatherVenom, Gnarly Car, Cannibal7878, Nirvana13666, JusticeofSarcasm (I named him that; he later retired from the mod staff), and at one point former PC's like Shrike and Jonas, (who are both still somewhat active mods, although I had nothing to do with that), and so many others along the way, we fucking RAN this place. There was a time when Severed Heads was really big, with the REALLY old school mods in that clique. Back when people fucking LISTENED to Radiogrounds, run by Captain Bob.

I mean, there's NOTHING like that now. Even NGdrunks, the bastards, where are they now?

I bet not even ONE of you knows who -altr- fucking IS.

Back when DirtySyko "was your friend" and shit, goddamnit, even though really he hated you and kind of thought you were stupid, but not on purpose.

And yes, back when BigBadRon really DID ban you for fucked up insulting ass reasons.

Well, at least Poxpower is still here. I don't think he should count, though.

He's Canadian.

At 11/25/09 10:21 PM, kanon1 wrote: But yeah, there are times when i want to go on a "child murdering rampage" but that will never happen with me, because it takes so much effort to piss me off.

Then do it when you're not pissed off.

Someone needs to.

Babies, they really DO breed, you know.

At 11/25/09 09:51 PM, Tykwa wrote: It's all my fucking fault.

Pretty much, yeah.

I'd been considering making this move ever since the site redesign, though.

The best times of Newgrounds for me were all back when I was an outsider, back when everyone thought I was an alt. I got SO FUCKING TIRED of everyone always going "you wouldn't get away with this if you weren't a MOD!!!" OMFG I'M THIRTEEN AND MY MOM IS LIKE, SO MEAN!!!"

Back then I had my own little organization called the Devil's Advocates Group. I eventually got most of the core members modded, but these days all that stuff has kind of fallen off into antiquity. Noone remembers the old DAG/PC war in the politics forum; most of the people I got modded don't even use the site anymore.

Back then, there was a spirit of COMRADERIE and we just don't have anymore, and I blame that a lot on a culture shift in the site itself from being a site for reclusive gorefreaks that fantasize about killing celebrities and has beastiality porn ads to a site with with whole "all inclusive" bullshit and kids games everywhere.

I don't want to go into it too hardcore for obvious reasons, one being I love this site and hate badmouthing it on any level, but yeah. I stopped giving a fuck a LOOOOONG time ago. Everything you fucking know is so fucking overrated.

I can't fucking say that enough.

Videogames, TV, fantasy card games, it's all a bunch of bullshit to keep your mind off of the fact that there are 7 billion or so people on this planet, and 99% of them aren't worth fucking SHIT.

No matter what, no matter how good everyone told you a moment would be, you'll still be stuck in your own head watching the whole thing from the inside. You'll still be YOU. That will never, ever change. Women, dope, rock and roll, money, wisdom, children, the lie that is know as "love," all of it, all you've ever been taught to strive for...

DOESN'T
MEAN
SHIT.

The only thing we have that's worth a fuck is individuals. Every dollar in the world only has as much value as we the people give it. There's only one problem: THERE'S TOO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. The ignorance of the masses drives everything now; we all agree on things with our feet and our money, not with our minds and our mouths.

Being born, having a child, none of that means a fuck. You're not special because you didn't fucking pull out, she's not special because she didn't have the balls to get an abortion, the two of you aren't special for being too in denial about your pathetic fucking lives to DO SOMETHING about your downward spiral into the welfare, child services, and prison systems.

What makes you special is the originality that you create, and these days...

Well, these days I see more of that in person than I do online.