Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

i've been on newgrounds since 1999 (I was 9 years old). I loved assassin and all that jazz but I wasn't really a follower of newgrounds because I was on stickdeath.com all the time. I used to love stickdeath games and toons and when I wasn't on there I was playing Neopets...

Monopoly is for rapists of Africa.

I beat my dick and now I'm up on federal assault charges....

Yes.. I just unlocked number 6 only to find out I need to be level 53 for the final secret. I have searched the vast internet only to find out the name of secret 7 and what it contains. I cannot find any pictures of secret 7 and my curiosity is literally killing me, HOW COULD YOU NOT BE CURIOUS!!!?

So I beg you Newgrounds, I heard there was one picture leaked on the BBS but I can't find it. Can somebody at least link me to that one picture if not the whole thing. PLEASE!!!

I had a dream that someone was going to make yet another stupid dream post. I might just be psychic with that, watchamacallit... ESPN.

Well, I woke up and did 100 pushups and situps while eating a steak and 12 raw eggs and I also shaved. I went to work at the steel mill and won the bodybuilding competition on my lunch break. After work I went to a bar and drank 30 beers without getting buzzed and then I started a fight with 12 men. I beat the living hell out of every single one of them using only uppercuts. After the fight I quickly grew a mustache and road a motorcycle I stole from a big biker. I went and judged a women's bikini competition while eating a washtub of pork and beans. I brought 20 women back to my log cabin on top of mount everest and had sex with them all night. That was the manliest day I ever had.

I'm 20 years old, 6'6"/230 pounds. I have short brown hair, brown eyes, large build semi-muscular and I like to party. Also I'm white.

My penis is made of a poly-resin adhesive covered in rubber and cake.

Character Sheet:

Name: FMA
Class: Level 20 Security Guard

STR: 20
DEX: 18
INT: 20
WIL: 16
CON: 22

Helmet: None
Weapon R Hand: Baton Weapon L Hand: None

Armor: +2 Cloth Uniform of Security

Boots: Size 15 Leather work boot Hands: Leather Gloves of binding.

Abilities:

Giant Stature- +5 attack vs. regular beings, +10 vs. small beings.
Blunt Weapon Proficiency- +5 damage with blunt weapons.
Security Training- +6 Perception when near hostile creatures.
Battle Drunk- +5 Strength while intoxicated, -5 Intelligence while intoxicated.

Damage: 30-45 Damage vs. unarmored foes.
Attack: 97- 8% chance to crit.
Defense: 68- 14% chance to dodge.
Armor: 40

This is me at the county fair, am I attractive?

I wouldn't press the button if there were no changes to the situation. No amount of money is worth a persons life so I would still wouldn't push it on any of the options involving money. Being incarcerated for 9 month and being injected with hormones is a different story. I could die from that and I think I would take the 1% chance to save my own life.

You're pathetic tom, asking a community to vote for you so you can win. Do you think the developers who made Scott Pilgrim are begging the internet for votes? If you were confident in your game you would just let it play out but apparently you don't believe in it. Scott Pilgrim and Castle Crashers are both good games and you should respect that instead of whining like a bitch on your website. I was glad to see some people are not mindless sheep and still voted for scott pilgrim.

I'm having trouble sifting through all the bullshit of the internet and I figured a forum full of hip young gangsters might be able to help me out. Because you are all so gangster...

At 2/21/11 08:01 PM, Cootie wrote:

At 2/21/11 07:07 PM, CharltonChinchilla wrote:

I'm not denying our little island has a lot of fat fucks but dont try and cover up your amount of obese people by pointing the finger at other countries when the U.S is the fattest nation on earth that's all I was getting at.

That simply isn't true at all. 85% of all Samoan people are obese. Look some facts up and stop pulling them out of your ass.

dude, there are many websites that will disagree 85% of Samoan people are obese. Some will say it's higher, even as much as 93% and some will say it's lower as low as 60%. The internet fails when it comes to surveys.

At 2/21/11 07:52 PM, EddyFromEEnE wrote:

At 2/21/11 07:39 PM, full-metal-albatross wrote:

My PE classes were three times a week and we had about five hours of that a week. And it consisted of sports, running, and stuff like that you know. I think that's kinda decent.

At my school they sell somewhat healthy foods. Nothing horrible for you, but nothing great though. None of it really tastes great anyways.

Only 3 times a week? that's odd, we have 5 days a week with 1 per day. Why only 3 days?

Because we have BLOCK periods at my school dude. Just like we have English every 3 days. How do you know Canada's school system for periods and all that is the same too?

Why does everyone get all defensive about their school schedules DAMN! Lay down your arms keyboard warriors and be peaceful, there will be no more bloodshed today.

At 2/21/11 07:43 PM, Mo-ni wrote:

At 2/21/11 07:39 PM, full-metal-albatross wrote: Only 3 times a week? that's odd, we have 5 days a week with 1 per day. Why only 3 days?

Every school is different. It goes by periods 1-6 in some. Generally you do not get the same period every day. It alternates, monday 1-3-5, tuesday 2-4-6. It use to be every day but things change. You also have the option to JOIN SPORTS, exercise on your own time or don't do shit. You can be in p.e. and still not exercise. Every system isn't like Canada

lol you're a blackout, in Canada it's the same 5 periods every day for 1 semester and only 2 semesters in a year. Also, no one was talking to you so shut your mouth.

My PE classes were three times a week and we had about five hours of that a week. And it consisted of sports, running, and stuff like that you know. I think that's kinda decent.

At my school they sell somewhat healthy foods. Nothing horrible for you, but nothing great though. None of it really tastes great anyways.

Only 3 times a week? that's odd, we have 5 days a week with 1 per day. Why only 3 days?

Last, about the school exercise thing you talked about, i'm pretty sure that's the equivalent of P.E class in America, which is a mandatory class up until like high school. If you opted out you'd have to have proof that you get exercise outside of school.

yes we have Phys-ed the same as you do but I'm talking about specific 30 minutes of exercise per day is required. So you have to do it all year, not just the semester you have P.E. and apparently, they're going to be putting health food in the vending machines too.

The fact that your country had to go as far as ban foods that aren't healthy is pathetic. all that says to me is that you guys were to fucking stupid to eat your food in moderation or don't know how to properly balance a meal.

Lol, so what you just said applies to America and other countries because they are trying to do the same thing. Also, since when are people as a majority smart? Ifthe people are told to jump they say, "how high?"

At 2/21/11 07:03 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote:

That was awesome and hilarious, and did you notice they weren't obese? The beard guy was kind of chunky but if you can make a 100k calorie burger and still be normal then go right ahead.

Your ignorance shows again. Eating like that has more than just external effects on your body,

And with that, I hit the post cap for the next 30 minutes.

Oh come on! Of course you can look good on the outside and be dying on the inside but they obviously don't do that all the time. They look like they regularly exercise so I'm sure they can sweat the grease out in no time

At 2/21/11 06:52 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote:

made up facts about my country... look up Canada junk food bans and other things related. Also, look up Canada fast-food bans, we are currently trying to get fast-food chains banned altogether and it looks promising. Talk about being egotistical, you've only eaten fast food 5 times in your life, grats you're a hero. Just because you are american and you've eaten fast food 5 times does not mean the rest of america does the same. Likewise, just because some americas eat like gluttons does not mean the rest do, however, I was talking from my own personal experience and from what I have seen with my OWN EYES. Learn to read.

I never said I was a hero, i'm trying to tell you that just because you saw some fat people doesn't mean that all of America eats that way, which you actually just said yourself. I'm not really sure what you were trying to prove, you opposed your own view point. I guess you read my post wrong and somehow thought I said all other Americans are fat. Maybe you're the one who needs to learn to read. Anyways, i'm positive you're exaggerating about all the fat people at Disney world because there's never a lot of them there. This makes sense because only relatively small people can even fit on the rides. And last but not least, just because your country is banning fast food doesn't make you better than everyone else. It's not like junk food is the only thing that can get you fat.

first, how did I say that all of america eats that way? I was recounting my experience in Disney and what I saw in that one part of America. Second, didn't really oppose my own viewpoint in anyway dumbass. I don't know what the hell you're talking about but Disney always has lots of fat people, even Disneyland was pretty bad.

Relatively small people can fit on the rides! Wtf are you talking about. The really fat people has to squeeze in or take up 2 spots but they fit. I myself, am 6'6" and I fit into the rides okay, except Aerosmith's rockin roller coaster which was a tight squeeze for my legs. Banning fast-food doesn't make us better than everyone else and yes not only junk food can get you fat. But can't you agree that getting rid of fast-food and most junk food would get rid of a large chunk of the reason people are so fat these days?

I also forgot to mention the in-school exercise programs being adopted all over Canada and I believe you are getting them in some parts of America. So stop trying to rag on me because of my opinion and my personal experiences.

At 2/21/11 06:52 PM, InDuStRiEl wrote:

At 2/21/11 06:41 PM, full-metal-albatross wrote:

made up facts about my country... look up Canada junk food bans and other things related. Also, look up Canada fast-food bans, we are currently trying to get fast-food chains banned altogether and it looks promising. Talk about being egotistical, you've only eaten fast food 5 times in your life, grats you're a hero. Just because you are american and you've eaten fast food 5 times does not mean the rest of america does the same. Likewise, just because some americas eat like gluttons does not mean the rest do, however, I was talking from my own personal experience and from what I have seen with my OWN EYES. Learn to read.

Aren't these guys from Canada? You should get their show shut down.

fillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfiller

That was awesome and hilarious, and did you notice they weren't obese? The beard guy was kind of chunky but if you can make a 100k calorie burger and still be normal then go right ahead.

At 2/21/11 06:34 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote:

You know that Canada is only #35 for the fattest countries in the world and we have outlawed most junk food. You can't get Count Chocula or any other really sugary cereals. Most of the menu's for fast-food restaurants have a fraction of the stuff available in the states. Almost all food in Canada has at least SOME nutritional value and we are working to get more junk out of here. yes, there are fat people here in Canada but I hardly ever see anyone past overweight. I have yet to see a disgustingly blob person here, maybe I'll take a video camera and walk around the city for a bit to show you most people here are average weight.

You're obviously one of those people who thinks all Americans are fatter and less significant than themselves and says made up facts about his country to defend himself when challenged. Quit being so damn egotistical. It's not about where you're from, it's about how you live your life. I'm American and I've only eaten fast food 5 times in my life, all of which were during a road trip where everyone was starving and we were out of food. I hate it, too, all that grease makes me feel sick.

made up facts about my country... look up Canada junk food bans and other things related. Also, look up Canada fast-food bans, we are currently trying to get fast-food chains banned altogether and it looks promising. Talk about being egotistical, you've only eaten fast food 5 times in your life, grats you're a hero. Just because you are american and you've eaten fast food 5 times does not mean the rest of america does the same. Likewise, just because some americas eat like gluttons does not mean the rest do, however, I was talking from my own personal experience and from what I have seen with my OWN EYES. Learn to read.

Oh come on dude, Canada is catching up with the obesity rate too you know. The obesity is bad in the US but it's bad in China and other countries as well. I don't know that a really large amount of people that eat like pigs. And also you were in Disneyworld, which is in the south (well, kind of). The south has a worse obesity rate than other states.

You know that Canada is only #35 for the fattest countries in the world and we have outlawed most junk food. You can't get Count Chocula or any other really sugary cereals. Most of the menu's for fast-food restaurants have a fraction of the stuff available in the states. Almost all food in Canada has at least SOME nutritional value and we are working to get more junk out of here. yes, there are fat people here in Canada but I hardly ever see anyone past overweight. I have yet to see a disgustingly blob person here, maybe I'll take a video camera and walk around the city for a bit to show you most people here are average weight.

I live in Canada and every time I take a trip to the states I find it hard to eat with others around. From my own personal experience, I find most of you to eat like pigs with little to no table manners. Your story just brings back painful memories of going to a subway and seeing people ordering the most unhealthy things you could possibly get (some even ordered 2 foot longs for themselves!)

My most recent trip was last October when I went to Disney World and my god was I disgusted. EVERYBODY WAS DRINKING FUCKING POP! It's hot out and instead of carrying around water which is smarter and healthier for you, everybody was fucking drinking pop. Not to mention all those people on scooters not because they were crippled, injured, handicapped or anything reasonable. No, they were on scooters because they were too god damn fat to walk. Some people could barely fit in the seats for the rides and standing next to them in line was a living hell. They breathe heavily and sound gross and are constantly emitting sounds from their body, it was a horrible experience and ruined my vacation.

At 2/20/11 11:15 PM, Cootie wrote:

At 2/20/11 11:09 PM, Rallard wrote: Anyone who has an icon with a fist will kick his ass.

Brock Lesnar can't take a punch worth shit.

I would love to see you fight him.

I'd fight him, My reach is a little bit more than his and I have 3 inches of height on him. What is he now, 265 still? So he has 30 pounds on me and superior fighting ability because I only know Hap-ki-do and that won't help much against him. However, I get to use a weapon against him to make it fair, yup I think I could take him.

well, I have this hammer which already has blood on it, so I assume it's Brock's blood and I already killed him with little to no effort. Huzzah.

I am so tired.... I am going to sleep, goodnight Newgrounders and have the most sexually scary and weird dreams you have ever had.

To make this topic worth anything, Describe the scariest, most sexual or weirdest dream you've ever had. Or maybe a combination of all three, you sick bastards.

At 2/20/11 02:55 AM, SteelChair wrote: Black People Highfive! Anyone?

you... stole my joke.

-insert hilarious sad face picture-

Black people are black! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL DARK JOKE LOLOLOLOL