Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 11/12/10 09:43 AM, AccountableMasses wrote: Hey, had anyone thought of making a modern day parody of Dante's inferno?

Instead of a person Virgil being a person guiding him through Hell, it would be a GPS unit call Virgil.

Can't really think of anything else right now, but got the idea while riding in car last night...

I did something like that back in my senior year in high school (1999...)

I wrote a poem how Dante, falling back in hell and finds a demon. The demon then takes Dante to a future Hell and finds Monica Lewinsky. She's forever giving Satan a blowjob, neither one enjoying it since the Lucifer's cum is made out of volcanic lava. And Monica's teeth are 12 inches long and made of rusty knives.

The demon then tells how Monica Lewinsky ended up in the lowest part in hell. She planned the whole blow job thing, and that brought in a new president (who was the anti-christ)-- and the anti-christ ended the world in the apocalypse.

It got an A, though I don't know where that paper is anymore...

Wow, a friend was in that San Bruno neighborhood before it exploded...
I mean, he was there LITERALLY before everything disappeared in rubble.

Like, he got out, got into his car, and got back home in Half Moon Bay... turned on the TV, and saw the news.

Man... if he stayed there just a little longer...

Studied up on some of Saint Patrick's Battalion-- Irish who fought for the Mexicans cause they didn't want to fight against fellow catholics.

Okay, did some more research about how distant I'm with these white guys... apparently, I'm about 7 generations away from these white guys (2 of them with Irish last names.) That would probably be... 120 to 170 years (I think.) That's if I consider if a guy had a kid at 18 to 25 for each generation.

It maybe possible that one of those soldiers had a kid with a Mexican woman, and that lineage travelled all the way down to Mexico City... and then returned back to the United States when I was born.

But seriously, this is very interesting. I would highly recommend you guys to try it out just because you could get lost in reading all this stuff.

Plus, the possibility of finding a distant relative does fascinate me...

At 8/28/10 07:54 PM, SevenSeize wrote: fli, that is so neat! Are you having to pay for these tests or are you part of their study? and if you already posted that, I apologize, I've been busy with work.

My grandfather is pure Native American and a museum did similar DNA work on him and he showed up being more Asian which I suppose makes sense if you think about the land bridge theory.

Well, I was watching discovery (as usual)-- and I saw a program about the National Genographic, documenting human migration. And I thought, for 100 bucks, it would be cool to test one of my chromosomes out.

I'm doing my mitochondria to see what's my deepest maternal ancestor... 69 bucks, which is (to me at least) worth it...

It's something I can google up, study on, and read up for a while.

Apparently, my mutation occurs rather frequently in Ireland and parts in England... and I'm in contact with people who maybe my distant relatives from 7 generations ago. (So, maybe a distant grandpa from 100 to 200 years ago.)

And these are white guys for the most part with extremely english-y last names... just only one Spanish name I've seen, and he's from Columbia.

I'm trying to puzzle out how this is possible... I know that my grandpa's family, he had some French speaking relatives, and they were already mixed with Spanish.

I'm reading all about the Spanish-Irish legends, to see if perhaps this maybe the orgins of my paternal lineage.

In any case, this will be published in a paper cause I gave permission. And who knows when...

In any event, I love genealogy, anthropology and the likes.

Let us know how that ends up turning out.

At 8/27/10 05:23 PM, Imperator wrote:

GIRLS ARE FREAKING EVERYWHERE. If I wasn't such a nerd, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

But you're an awesome nerd. and that's what matters.

Got my results from the National Genographic Project, a project that looks for your deepest paternal and or maternal ancestor.

I belong to the R1b1b2 M269 clan--

I'm basically the decedent of the cro-magnuns, meaning... the first non-Black European... meaning... I'm not as Indian as I thought I am.

I was certain I would be some sort of Native American, since I got those traits (shovel teeth, lactose intolerance...)

And essentially-- through my deepest paternal grandpa, I'm part with the Irish, the English, and Spanish and Portuguese.

It's was an intersting read, I'm getting my mitachondria to find my deepest maternal grandmother... maybe she'll be the Native American...

At 8/18/10 09:50 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 8/18/10 09:09 PM, SevenSeize wrote: fli pwns facebook.

Ohhhhh....
It's me, Tony--

I'm Che Enrique, although I go by Henri too (Henri cause it's French and English... and means the same as Enrique.)

For some reason, I forgot what "PWN" and thought Funk was talking about a person named "Che PWN"-- and thought... hey, that can't be me... since I go by "Che EMR"-- but... meh--

Quick, we need to get him a beret! Why does no one ever have a beret ready for emergencies?

You know, I almost asked what's a beret, but then... I remembered I had google...

Actually, I'm having difficulty with FaceBook since all this people from high school are trying to locate me, and I'm like, "Gahhh---"

I just want to forget high school, and disassociate from the people of that time.
(Those were bad years I don't want to remember...)
And these are people who basically ripped on me for my Mexi-fro hair and nerdy glasses...

And then I'm finding family from Mexico who I love when they're kids, and they're posting racey pics of their teenage bodies. (Cleavage shots...) It makes me want to tell them, please, take them down-- but I'm sure I'll embarrass them by letting them know that I'm on FaceBook... so I've basically ignored their pages and stick to simple e-mail correspondence...

Anyways...
Add, anyone?

A "free market" can't even know fathom what's a free market, even in the days of the Industrial Revolution when there was no government intervention.

There is always the problem of monopolies, which totally defeats the purpose of a "free market."

A free market is an idealic concept on par with communism.

Works just only on paper... works supposedly in theory...

At 8/16/10 07:11 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: I just found out Che PWNs facebook.

I'm impressed, and a little intimidated.

I'm sorry-- but do you mean me?
Or... the other Che, the one Capitalists are making tons of money with his iconic image?

At 8/15/10 03:18 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote: Besides, there's no point to a ban since all any parent who wants to buy a Happy Meal has to do is leave the county for a nearby McDonald's that does sell the toys. This means that the McDonald's restaurants in and around San Francisco will lose business.

I really doubt this could have a huge impact on the economy since parents are buying McDonald's, for the most part, it's food-- the toy is the perk a lot of kids just look forward to.

Other restaurants have kids meals without toys, and they do good.

Some places sells the kids toy if the parent wants one.

I can't see much of a problem--
They can still sell a happy meal sans toy.

It's not the end of the world.

After years of rather extensive and very intensive writing on this subject, I think today just makes me realize that I'm like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. And it's always the same things... incest, necrophelia, polygamy, sexual abuse, animalphilia, love with inanimate objects.

So, really--
I'm going to make the most intelligent argument. Ever.

Here we go.

Bleruapf.

And... that's it. Yes, that's it.

Incest?
Bleruapf...

Pedophelia???
Bleruapf...

But today was nice nonetheless... What wonderful weather for political discord with the LGBT and friends cheering and the opponents plotting their next evil plan...

Bleruapf...

At 8/2/10 10:14 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 8/2/10 09:44 PM, Malachy wrote: Penis

^ this

Have you guys ever had a Monte Cristo???? I had one today!

Aside the fries, I'm not sure what I'm seeing--
but very cute nails...

At 8/1/10 07:35 PM, Malachy wrote: fun fat about law school. you get a doctorate out of it without a dissertation or having to defend a thesis.

But you have to pass the bar, and sometimes people spent years doing that (like JFK Jr.)

At 7/31/10 04:39 PM, Christopherr wrote: It isn't so much libertarian as it is old-school Republican. Remember, the small-government, lower spending Republicans have been dead since Goldwater.

But the thing is, Republicans are just using the guise of "Small Government."
Because when they want to codify their moral values (gay marriage, abortion, immigration)-- that's invasive.

On top of that, they want to use tax money the fund them.

So the question really is...
How do you want your money spent?

Democratic versus Republican...
almost the same.

Except, you could expect a democrate to try to push for ways to keep your schools open, and the Republican to bitch at you for wanting to be jobless.

At 7/26/10 03:07 AM, chi-master08 wrote:

At 7/23/10 03:45 PM, fli wrote: And then, there's NICARAGUA and the weapons he bought illegally with OUR tax money (and the money, in turn bought more weapons from other countries-- even probably a few that may have killed some of our soldiers.)

I think you may have that confused, but I'm not sure. What I read about the Iran-Contra affair was that Reagan sold weapons to Iran and then used that money to fund the Contra faction in Nicaragua, which was completely illegal due to the law Congress had passed right before it all came out.

No, you're right... That has slipped out of my mind, but the controversy exists nonetheless. Although, I knew what I was thinking as evident in the second sentence. (I just lapsed on the first...)

At 7/23/10 10:25 AM, Ericho wrote: The whole thing about Ronald Reagan is weird, because at first I kept hearing about how he kept doing all these great things and was one of the best presidents in the past 25 years, but then everybody started saying he did terrible things. I think this article does a good job of illustrating that both people have good points on either side of the argument about his competancy. I am quite surprised that Clinton's was lower, as he did a lot of good with the economy.

Well, yeah-- he did do terrible things.
And if you think about it... who is the one who raves Reagonmics? The middle upper and the upper classes... because in the 80s, there used to be half way houses in the country. After Reagan, the crazies were left to roam the street.

(There's a reference to this in King of the Hill, when Hank tries to teach Bobby not to panhandle.)

And then there's the AIDS crisis, which he totally ignored because it was affecting gay people and not the "regular" or the "normal" people. Heck, his best friend Rock Hudson even DIED of it, and he didn't open his mouth until it was too late... it became an epidemic. And all he had to do was go infront of a camera, and tell people to use condoms. (But, hey-- better get AIDS than to go against deeply seeded Christian fundamentals... such as talking about sex and condoms...)

But money talks, and let's put it like this...
There was a chance the Reagan could had made lessen the financial impact of AIDS. Because today, we dish out tons in AIDS medicine in United States. (And there's no mention to Africa either.)

And then, there's NICARAGUA and the weapons he bought illegally with OUR tax money (and the money, in turn bought more weapons from other countries-- even probably a few that may have killed some of our soldiers.)

And guess what... all that conflict and wasted money to keep a country from becoming a communist didn't work.

And again, what did this do?

WELL... since America hates illegal immigration we'll talk about this first. Many Nicaraguan famiies illegally immigrated to the US. (And if we're using Republican-process-of-thinking... that means, they're leaches who are draining tons of money from Joe the Plumber.)

And, in the end, Nicaragua still elected Daniel Ortega-- after Reagan spent all that money from not getting him elected.

So, there... here are some reasons why people consider Reagan bad (while some consider him the best.)

At 7/15/10 11:02 PM, Yorik wrote: And soooooooo.....?

Polygamy contradicts with the notion of 1 man and 1 woman, as it is an example that marriage has "always been" just one man and just one woman.

Heck... if we talked polyandry, that would rock notions of what marriage has "always been" even further.

At 7/15/10 07:15 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: And he was Pagan. Caesar had a wife, he was Pagan as well. Greeks married as well, long before Christianity.

So, marriage was always about the union of two people DudditsC

There were polygamous marriages-- Jacob had Rachel and Leah, and their sons had several wives... King Soloman, for example...

At 7/15/10 09:19 AM, Elfer wrote:

At 7/12/10 03:34 PM, fli wrote: Well, if you want to earn money-- invest in green energy technologies, which may be the Microsoft and Apple stock in 10 to 20 years from now.

Well, wind power is pretty likely to grow a lot in the shorter term, like 10-15 years, but green technology in general isn't going to blow up to the same extent that Microsoft and Apple did. That was a very unique situation that I doubt we'll see again for some time.

San Jose is the tech valley--
I've read that businesses and a few big names are buying green technologies.

If I was smart, I would try it... but I'm not one will to risk money.

But if you are... you may want to google up on the green boom that supposedly going to happen.

At 6/5/10 08:24 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: the King James Version? So the other versions don't count cause they don't have that particular verse?

They all have the version, but the point is that translations will sometimes create different meanings because 1.) things are often lost in translation, and 2.) people change, but texts don't, and 3.) People use texts to their advantage. It's like what Shakespeare said... Even the Devil cite scripture for his own purpose.

And, in general, Bible isn't a single book but several-- and often times it contradicts itself (first you can marry your family, then you can't... first you can eat anything... then you can only eat kosher stuff... The world was made in 7 days... or it existed until God said Let there be light...)

At 7/12/10 11:19 AM, Elfer wrote: Would I be evil if I invested in BP? Their stock has dropped 50% since the spill, but the financial fundamentals of the company haven't really changed. I think it's an opportunity to make a few bucks in the short term.

Well, if you want to earn money-- invest in green energy technologies, which may be the Microsoft and Apple stock in 10 to 20 years from now.

At 7/11/10 10:48 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: well everbody my sister started having contractions but she isn't due till the end of the month I don't know if I am ready to be a uncle..

What's so difficult about your part of the bargain? A human being isn't coming out of your vag-ga-gee...

Heck, you may be ambivalent to your niece or nephew and nonexistent (if you wanted to.)

Otherwise, it's really simple.
Play with dolls with your niece...
Toss the ball to the nephew.
And talk to them every so often.

My favorite thing with my niece is to bake, while watching chick flicks. It's been a wonderful experience, and I just got to know her barely maybe... 5 years ago? Still... we stuck now.

I got great news this summer...
A theatre is interested in my play... And if I get really, really, REALLY lucky-- they will perform it on stage professionally. And it won't be a 10 minute play, but a feature length one.

My play is about a father whose son finds out that he's castrated, and the mystery is... how can a castrated man father a son. It's a friggin emotional roller coaster of a story.

And a Pulitizer winner came (Doug Wright) came from About Face Theatre (or at least, his winning entry.)

Here's what they emailed:

Mr. Ramirez,

Good day. Thanks so much for your letter of interest and the information about your play, Sparks Fly Upward. The play sounds exciting. With its subject matter and challenging theatricality, it seems to be a good fit for our mission here at About Face Theatre. Could you email a copy of the script to us so that I or another member of the team might give it a read?

We are in the process of office reorganization, so please forgive any delay in correspondence with you. We also receive a number of script submissions each month and do our best to show the ones in which are interested the proper time and care they deserve.

Feel free to email me with any questions you may have. In the meantime, I look forward to receiving a copy of Sparks Fly Upward and having a chance to read your work. Thanks again for your submission!

All best,
Jack Dugan Carpenter
Artistic Intern
About Face Theatre

At 7/5/10 10:24 PM, Rockyusa wrote: Probably the ending to Dumplings from three extremes...
***SPOILERS!!!***

In the end, the old bitch finds out she was eating aborted babies, gets pregnant, gives herself an abortion in a bathtub, and eats her aborted embryo which is sliced up into dumplings...

What the fuck...

That sounds something similar to what I have written, Devil's Food Cake--
Although-- no aborted fetuses...

But yes on cannibalism...

At 7/1/10 08:16 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: Being gay is genetic because if it's passed down from gay parents to gay children.

Er, with the exceptions of sperm donors, how can gay people procreate? Somebody skipped Sex Ed.

Gay people CAN procreate. It's a matter of WILL they procreate. (And many do.)
And as far as genetics... it's not a well explored subject, and just difficult to handle.

But from I can tell you, here are a list of my friends and their families (I'll provide pseudonyms for the sake of anonymity.)

"Felix" = straight, but with 9 brothers and sisters... all of them gay (one is transgendered.)
"John" = Gay, was married and had a son. His son, now grown up, lives with him. The son is gay.
"Sydney" = Grandpa. He has a daughter who is lesbian.
"Megan" = Lesbian. Has a twin sister who is also lesbian.
"Rui" = Gay. Had a son at a very young age before knowing completely he is gay. He has a gay cousin.

I suspect there are several gay men in my mom's side of family. And I suspect that my very butch aunt, my mom's sister, is a butch dyke (though she has a daughter and is married.) But-- there has been Brokeback sorta situations... perhaps since forever ever since gays existed.

At 6/29/10 03:08 AM, fli wrote:

But his voting record shows that, though he doesn't vote reforms that I would personally vote for-- he at least try to pass the crap stuff that he would have voted for in the past.

My bad...

"He at least tried to pass OVER the crap stuff that he would have voted in the past."

Wow-- it's amazing what a single word can do to a sentence.

At 6/28/10 02:27 PM, Memorize wrote: *post*

Wait a sec, I don't even know this guy that well, and I didn't get to know about him until he died. It's not like I overlooked his history as a Klan's member, and racist bull shit.

But he's since renounced it, saying it was a HUGE mistake.
That's a good starting point--

But his voting record shows that, though he doesn't vote reforms that I would personally vote for-- he at least try to pass the crap stuff that he would have voted for in the past.

So, in so far as how exactly he voted-- it's still sketchy.
But at least he avoided the shit when it should be avoided.

Perhaps not the best, but good enough.

At 6/28/10 11:22 AM, TDwizBang wrote: ummm, lets not forget he was part of the opposition to the equal rights movement trying to keep minorities as second class citizens...

Yeah, he had a "colorful" history-- but he's since regretted it and did stuff to make up for it. (Not sure exactly, but-- good enough for me.)

At least he's not like that asshole Strom Thurmond.

At 6/26/10 11:42 AM, Proteas wrote: I've been sitting on this for a few days, and I'm just going to go ahead and say it; I think the fact that Obama chose to replace his personally vetted choice to run the fight in Afghanistan with someone like General Petreaus is FUCKING HILARIOUS. They're replacing McChrystal with the guy whom just a few years ago they blasted for his failings in Iraq? General "Betray Us?!" BWA HA HA HA!!!

I had the same thought and found it funny, however-- Obama wasn't the one in charge of that thing.

It seemed to me that McChrystal had done what most employees do when they want to quite... act out, bad mouth, and then quit.

It's not that much different what I've experienced and seen in others.

I don´t really see a problem, Proteas-- I mean, perhaps you may want to be a bachelor forever. But it's nice to have someone there, for you.

Right before my grandma died, he told me that my true family is whoever I'm married to. (Although, I being readily different from my family because of the homo thing that I got going on-- that's slightly a more complex issue. None the less, I understand the sentiment behind her words...)

And it true. When my grandpa died-- she was the only one left in her home. All her children grew up and had their own families.

Consider the options that your family are giving. You're very shy and reserved, and they want you to meet with girls and fall in love. I sense that you may not be giving yourself credit either, and are avoiding girls. If you're not liking their options, I dunno-- go to places that you like and engage with the girls there.

Go to a shooting range... find a gal that strikes your fancy... and say, "hi." Proceed from there, and maybe-- she be the one.