At 11/7/09 06:30 PM, OneGunn wrote: I use bunny fur. Never encountered that problem.

TELL ME YOUR SECRET.

Gather 'round, children, as I tell you the chilling tale of human kind's worst bathroom nightmare: The Curse of the Never-Ending Wipe!

It all begins when you sit down on the ceramic throne. You never know when it's going to strike. It could happen when you are at home, at school, at your job, at the fast food restaurant you just ate at, at the airport, or for those unfortunate souls, in a Porta-potty. You sit there, minding your own business, and just as you are about to finish your business, you accidentally jump the gun and cut off your waste too early! It's too small to continue to push out, and you are running late to whatever you need to do. So, you ready to wipe. And wipe. And wipe. Before you know it, you've wasted an entire roll of toilet paper, the toilet is clogged, and your rear still is not clean! However, not wanting a brown smear on the back of your underwear, you continue wiping. It's all over your hands, there's toilet water flowing onto the floor, and still crap in the crack. You start to go insane. You need to get going, but your butt still is dirty! Seconds turn into minutes as you repetitively wipe your anus. By the time you are done, two rolls of heavy-duty toilet paper are gone, stacked in the bowl and over the lip of the seat. The toilet water leaks everywhere, flowing into adjacent rooms to the one you are in. You are exhausted, your rear aches. You begin to question the morals of your life. At last, the toilet paper comes out clean when wiped. You sigh with relief as you pull up your pants and leave the toilet. Five minutes after leaving the bathroom, however, you get strange stares from the people around you. Strange, agonized, disgusted stares. You realize that although you spent a good portion of time cleaning to prevent such an occurrence from happening, it still happened; your underwear, soiled. And now, you must suffer with streaked underwear for the rest of the day. This is the curse of the Never Ending Wipe.

Remember, the Never Ending Wipe can strike anywhere. The lucky ones have it occur at home, where toilet paper is plentiful, and there is nice clean underwear in the next room over. But for the rest of us, the ones who are trapped in a public place for hours on end, it truly is horrifying. If this should happen to you, may God save you. May God save us all from this Curse.

It's like a hear attack on a bun.

But with out the bun, and two slices of heart attack.

It's like a heart attack on a heart attack!

Sweet mother of God, I can't imagine the pain he'd probably go through once he comes around from unconsciousness. D:

If you really wanted it, I'd get the 360 Elite, and get some used games. You can get older, but still popular games for cheap when used.

However, I'd buy a refurbished 360 Elite. Mine's refurbished, cost half as much, still works great. Then, you could grab some used games AND clothes.

At 7/26/09 03:33 PM, robotking98 wrote: Who in their fucking mind gives a five year old a four-wheeler.

It was a Power Wheels four wheeler. You know, like one of these.

At 7/26/09 03:31 PM, CamerontheConqueror wrote: Give it a mud cake!

Good idea! Should I stray away from fruit-flavored fillings? I want to make sure this cake will be the best cake ever, so I can finally sleep in peace.

At 7/24/09 12:24 AM, lawlmaster wrote: You should go and apologize for snapping it in half, then give it a cake.

Excellent idea! It's been raining all weekend, so I suppose it would be in a good mood and will willingly accept my peace offering.

Just one question, what flavor of cake does a tree eat? I don't want to give it something it doesn't like, because I'm guessing one false move with this madman-I mean tree and it's off with my head. Suggestions?

At 7/23/09 04:10 PM, KeepYourDistance wrote: Take out any flammable liquid that can be sprayed (cologne, deodorant etc.) and spray whilst the lighter is lit. I also recommend that you pray for the best.

Sadly, fire is out of the question. It is pouring out, and will be for quite a while to come. I can only imagine that the damned tree will absorb all that water, and will then pull it's own roots out using it's newfound power!

Or maybe that's just crazy talk. Yeah, that's it. Crazy talk. Heh. Heh, heh, heh. Crazy insanity talking.

Anyway, I need to act! Need to strike first, before it gets a chance to get the first blow. Quick, someone get Macgyver. I have a bubblegum wrapper, two spoons, a rubber band, and a gas stove. What do I DO?!

Sweet lord. It's been two days since I last left my desk. I just looked outside, and I swear to GOD, the tree from Hell freakin' moved.

Someone send a lumberjack, HURRY! I need an adult!

At 7/21/09 03:24 PM, tukyuk wrote: I'm afriad my friend that your time is up. After a few months the tree will break out of its earthy shackles and not rest till you are bloodied and splintered under the cold dark mud. On the other hand you could get out from under your desk and appologise... or just kill the thing. Your choice!

I can't go outside! It's a thunderstorm out there!

I heard thunder only increases their power!

At 7/21/09 03:01 PM, RandomExploit wrote: What's it going to do? Grow its way towards you year after year, inch after inch into your room and strangle you with its branches?

IT CAN DO THAT?!

grabs a blanket and proceeds to cover self with it

So, the other day, I came to the conclusion that a tree in my front yard is trying to kill me. I'm scared for my life, under my desk with a teddy bear in one hand and a lighter in the other, in case it comes after me. But, before I can tell you what happened recently, I have to tell you what happened in the past!

Come, reminisce with me.

When I was about five years old, my dad gave me a Power Wheels four-wheeler for my birthday. I had so much fun with it, driving around like a madman. It was all fun and games, until I lost control, and ran right into a new pear tree my dad had just planted. The tree survived, but it was snapped in half. I remember this memory fondly, because after it happened, my dad was really angry with me, and beat me with a lead pipe. But I digress.

A week ago, I noticed that the same tree bore it's first fruit of the season. Hungry after mowing the lawn all day, I brought a few of them in the house. Each member of my family had one, and we all enjoyed them. Out of the four of us, I was the only one to get explosive diarrhea as a result from food poisoning. After one of my late night trips to the crapper that night, I looked out the window, and I could have sworn that the tree turned towards the window and glared at me. A glare that could only come from the devil. I ran under my desk with a lighter and Teddy, which brings us to the current day.

Can a tree possibly have the memory to remember such a traumatic event, and can it hold a grudge against me? If so, can it kill? Please, this is a life or death situation here, and I don't know how long I can hold on much longer.

I'm afraid.

I beat myself up every night, in a desperate attempt to cause serious harm to myself, caused by self hate of by my ever-expanding fat.

Does that count?

I just came back from going to see it.

MY EYES. THEY BURN.

It was still funny, but GAWD. MEATSPIN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

Just let his game download; it's not a big deal.

Play Half-Life 2 Smod while you wait. By the time you're bored of that, his download will be done, and you will be able to play CSS hassle free

:3

Damn, I grew up with Uno. Me, my sister, and my grandmother spent hours on end playing that game, and we loved it when hands seemed to go on forever. We still get into fun games once in a while.

I just bought Uno on XBLA, and I can't stop playing it. I love that game. :3

Oh, hay. I is making a suggestion thread. Go me.

Anyway, I was thinking about something. Probably someone has suggested the idea before me, but I'd still like to submit it anyway.

I love listening to random songs on the Audio Portal, but it gets tedious to go back to the main Audio Portal page, and click one again and again. Why not have a shuffle feature right in the Audio Portal window? This way, for people like me who like listening to music from the Audio Portal while working on other things, it could be much more accessible than having to through the monotomous process of clicking on a new song.

Now, of course, my suggestion is just that, a suggestion. I'd love to hear thoughts about it, although I'd doubt it would really make a difference. Just wanted to get my word out there.

:3

At 4/29/09 06:48 PM, JKMonkey wrote: What version of "I Am Legend" were you watching?

as far as I know, "I Am Legend" had no vampires

The recent movie, yeah, that had no mention on what exactly the infected were. However, in the book from 1954, Matheson makes it clear that they are vampires. So, yeah. The movie is really, really different from the book.

At 4/29/09 04:46 PM, ShmenonPie wrote: I Am Legend? Is it the same as the film?

It's actually radically different from the movie. You actually learn that the infected civilization actually have symptoms that compare to vampirism, unlike the movie where you can basically call them zombies, and the ending is completely different. And, the book has no Will Smith.

At 4/29/09 09:06 AM, Dogbert581 wrote:

At 4/28/09 04:38 PM, Bryangamedude wrote: twilight?

We have conclusive proof that the majority of Newgrounders just read the thread title before hitting reply

Excellent, the test has been successful! I shall now use this here information to TAKE OVER THE INTERNET.

At 4/28/09 03:27 PM, Draxonicar wrote:
The actor who played Edward said it was like reading her sexual fantasies, and I think he's right.. A werewolf "imprinting" on his friends baby daughter so he can love her when she grows up and turn into a werewolf? anyone else think pedophilia

Twilight Sucks

I Am Legend has werewolfs? Man, I must have missed some serious plotpoints right thar.

At 4/28/09 02:58 PM, Ozcar wrote: I also heard that there's a nice book about Zombies called "Twilight" written by Stephenie Meyer...And there's a movie about it too...

Dude, I heard about that. Not all that into Zombie movies, but it sounds interesting.

And I gotta tell ya, it it probably one of my favorite books now. The novel was extremely well written, really fleshing out the whole idea of vampires. The characters were well implemented, the setting was perfect for a vampire book, and all in all, it was an exceptional book. The recent movie adaption of the book was nothing like the actual thing, and the book was way better than the movie, although they both were good in their own entity. That's why I believe that I Am Legend by Richard Mattheson is probably one of the best books on vampirism I have ever read. Anyone else agree?

HEY GUYS YOU ALL LOOK LIKE ANTS FROM UP HERE

At 2/14/09 12:51 PM, MultiCanimefan wrote: You mean the Nigerean Prince isn't real!?

He better be real. Bastard owes me ten dollars.

Well, yesterday, my sister got an e-mail from some guy in Africa about a pretty rare breed of dog, a teacup Yorkie, that he was going to give away for free. All she had to to was send him nearly two hundred bucks so the dog can get shipped to the United States.

Well. Isn't that just unbelievable from the start. But, my sister in all her glory send away our information, and was just about to send the guy the money. Luckily, after basically everyone within a 12 mile radius told her it was a scam, she terminated the withdrawal. Seriously, who falls for these things?

Do you guys know someone that fell for a completely ludicrous scam? Or worse, have you yourself fell for a scam like that?

At 2/14/09 12:24 PM, firemario1 wrote: Snapping to grid, eh? I can help you with that.

First, go download the
SmartSnap tool. What this tool does is for every basic prop, it makes a neat grid cube around it. This allows you to snap directly onto a vertex. This helps get nice alignments and welds when building structures like bases and houses.

If you want even more precise welds, try using the Easy Precision tool. It should have came with a toolpack like Wire, but if you don't already have it, it should be able to be downloaded from www.garrysmod.org With a little practice, you can easily make perfect 90 degree welds in a second.

Sorry for the double post, but I forgot one crucial thing. If props start to wack out on you after a weld, try using the NoCollide tool on them. Usually, this will fix the problem.

Snapping to grid, eh? I can help you with that.

First, go download the
SmartSnap tool. What this tool does is for every basic prop, it makes a neat grid cube around it. This allows you to snap directly onto a vertex. This helps get nice alignments and welds when building structures like bases and houses.

If you want even more precise welds, try using the Easy Precision tool. It should have came with a toolpack like Wire, but if you don't already have it, it should be able to be downloaded from www.garrysmod.org With a little practice, you can easily make perfect 90 degree welds in a second.

I would get an orange Nano, but I don't have the money to afford a new mp3 player right now. Besides, I just got a very nice Sony Walkman mp3/mp4 player for Christmas that I am happily content with. :3

At 1/27/09 02:17 PM, Fleshlight wrote:

Also, what is HL2.EXE32? Is that a typo or something? Elaborate for me.

32 bit, not 64 bit?

I see, for me, the program ends in just .exe, so I did not recognize the suffix.