At 11/2/14 06:00 PM, Red-Halo wrote: I liked how you started early with action and didn't start with two pages of exposition explaining the world.
I think your Protagonist may be too powerful, if this is the beginning of a larger story. (Unless you show his backstory in flashbacks or something.) And even though he is powerful, it's kind of absurd that he would be allowed as a bounty hunter at 15. Especially one that throws a student through a wall for insulting him. Parts of the brain that specialize in judgement and self-control don't fully form until 25. (Though that's just my opinion, and this is fictional...)
And I was confused by what was happening when the Police Officer jumped into the scene. At first I was confused whether the Protagonist shot and stabbed him, or the target at the end, or both of them. The language was rather vague.
Good Luck :)
Well, Jacob is too powerful on purpose. Jacob's weaknesses are high pitched noises which due to his sensitive ears, cause him to fall unconscious, and mind cintrol. He's very susceptible to mind control, but he doesn't find out for a little while from this point, which he spends lots of money on. In the unimensions, which is all the dimensions, be they video games, tv, book, or movie dimensions, they still exist. Because of this there is an abundance of young heroes who are often killed off early in their careers or can't handle the hero life. Adults are hesitant to kill the young villains so guys like Jacob who while heroic, at times, still need money. Jacob takes on the guys everyone should be worried about unless he needs really quick cash. Jacob is one of the few young bounty hunters allowed to hunt down adults
And apologies for the lack of stories. I've been really busy but I'll try to get a story on here at some point.
Apologies for not getting the story a week, I was focusing on school and forgot about it.
Now, if you're confused by the unimension's laws, that's okay. Most people are. They go by things established in comic books but written down. You never sue the guy saving your life. It was just written in law this time because people are ridiculous.
Jacob is not the ultimate good guy. He's no saint. He never has been. None of my characters ever will be. There will be moments like this in all their lives. I've never understood why heroes in books, comics, or movies aren't like this.
With the exception of Batman. I've never been disappointed by him.
So, this is how my stories are. They're extremely realistic when it comes to how things should happen. A teenager with powers like this should come with a safety label.
Most of the time though, they follow general good guy rules.
It's just the more picky ones they don't like.
As I walk up to this school, smoking a cigarette, I'm reading this bounty I received.
Dear Mr.Deatrix,
We have come to find that a Mr.Bramling, a teacher at the high school of Burlon, is a high ranking member of the gang 'Beautiful Trees', a gang you know as, in a quote of yours, 'Those weird guys that wear trees.' We are willing to pay you 500,000 credits to bring him alive to our local emissary for interrogation.
Sincerely,
The Unimensional Justice League
I do more work for these assholes, and I don't even get an honorable mention. I'm pretty sure they make more than I do for writing my name down.
Ah well. Let's get this job over with before Lilith wakes up and realizes I'm kidnapping a teacher during school.
I walk up to the door and throw my cigarette on the sidewalk as I walk inside.
"Excuse me. How'd you get in?" a scared desk attendant asks. Why's she scared?
"I used a door." I say, already annoyed.
"It was locked."
"No, it wasn't. I just pushed it and-" I stop mid-sentence as I see the door and the bent metal.
I forgot to control myself. My limiters must need to be adjusted. This is annoying.
"Hello, police. A man just broke into the school by breaking the door."
God damn it. Fuck this shit.
I just walk by her, stealing the teacher directory along the way.
323.
I take the elevator up. I light a cigarette.
The doors open on the second floor.
It's a young security shot. Gun already pointed at me.
I smack the gun aside and knock him out with one punch. I hit close doors and assume my ascent.
I short my cigarette and put it back in my pack.
This is gonna be a long day.
The doors open and there's a group of kids sitting outside a classroom, talking shit about anything and everyone.
I ignore them and look for which way 323 would be.
"Look at this guy. Think he's a badass. I could knock him out in one hit."
I look right at the fucker who said this. Some black kid that thinks he's tough. Reminds of the one in American History X with his ugly face.
"Say that again. You little fuck."
"You're a bitch."
I grab him and throw him through a wall.
I walk down the hall to the sounds of terror.
318...319...320...321...322...
The door to 323 kicks open with an angry teacher holding a fireball.
I pull out my phone and check the picture on the bounty.
Wild red hair, blue eyes, freckles, thick eyebrows, and skinny as a stick.
Same guy.
"You come into my school and attack my students. You are a piece of shit!" he yells, throwing the fireball at me.
I let it hit me, demonstrating how weak he is, He couldn't even make a single hair burn.
"Listen here, tree man. I have a bounty for you alive, you don't get a choice here."
"I'm Beautiful Tree, that's right. But you're the bad guy, not us!"
I walk up to him, he nervously steps back, readying another fireball.
I grab him and throw him out his classroom window. His screams are beautiful.
I look in the classroom and see a bounty I'd recognize anywhere.
The one that's eluded me since I first became a bounty hunter. The 5 million on a shapeshifter who likes to learn.
"Elrudia, you little fucker." I say, whipping out a pistol and shooting him in the face.
I take his picture, confirming his bounty and teleport to my bike, catching the teacher in the process.
"Oomph!"
I shot him with a tranq and strap him to the side of my bike and get on.
"Freeze, police!"
"I'm a bounty hunter. Relax, Jacob Deatrix, class S. I can do stuff like this and get away with it. You can't do anything."
"I can steal your bounty."
I stare at this guy.
They recently made it a law that any bounties, dead or alive, a officer can steal from a bounty hunter if they get the kill. They have to give half to the local police but they get the other half.
And it doesn't matter if it's only alive. They can kill them and get the full reward.
It's the law.
Short blonde hair, gray eyes, average height. The gun is your average 9mm.
"Don't even think about it. I can get off for killing a cop stealing my paycheck. Me doing all the work and you coming in and doing that can be considered stealing in court."
"You're no lawyer, you can't prove that."
I only got one chance.
"Do it and you die."
He pulls the trigger, I slice the bullet in half with my onyx katana, Katayana. Then I pull out Death and shoot him in the stomach.
He writhes in pain on the ground as I walk up to him and kick his gun away.
"Listen asshole. There's a little sentence I personally wrote into that law and it's because of guys like you. 'Bounty Hunters of class A and higher can prevent a stealing of a bounty with any measurable amount of force if necessary." I grin.
His face drains of blood and he begins to crawl away.
"Normally, I'm a general good guy. But hey, I'm only 15. I'm also not entirely sane. But that's forgivable, given my lifestyle. So in the truly bloody end, you just became the end."
I stab him in the same spot I shot him with Katayana, and charge it with sin energy.
I feel my ancestor, The Deatrixian, screaming for his death. Foaming at his teeth for sure. Katayana is blood red in sin, lightning arcing across the blade.
FINISH HIM!
I was going to anyway, just let it be done right.
"Welcome to the world of grays, I'm your host, Jacob Deatrix." I say, smiling.
I twist the blade left then I take it home,twisting it like a motorcycle about to go 500 mph, and the sin energy enters him, filling him up, and making him explode.
His blood rains above me for a few seconds.
"Cleanrific." I say, triggering the spell to clean myself.
I get on the bike, lighting my short with a fireball, and drive off to the sounds of sirens.
I sit in this room of darkness, and I'm kinda excited about this next match.
Of course you are. You're the only man I know who gets excited by being stabbed.
That was one time with Illius, and we were both working out some anger with each other in the process.
Not how I saw it. I'm pretty sure there was more pleasure than pain in those moans.
Go fuck yourself.
The gate opens and I see a beautiful traditional Japanese village, and an even more beautiful mountainside.
I always loved Japanese buildings like these.
And the blossom trees. There's so many, and all so perfect.
Then the lake surrounding the mountainside, and a nice waterfall pouring down. They put work into this one, that's for sure.
The vines covering the mountain even has blossoms. It's amazing.
The water falls majestically.
And there she is, standing on the water, a burning rose in her hand.
I pull out a cigarette and catch the rose, lighting my cigarette. I inhale, and taste the rose.
"Thanks."
I know she smiled under her mask as she melts into the waterfall.
This girl deserves my best, and nothing less.
I pull out Katayana and walk to the waterfall, and walk through it, entering a cave.
It's a cave. Caves aren't beautiful.
But they do look a bit better when there's a pretty girl with a katana made of fire at the end.
I run at her, readying a frontal assault.
I skid and begin with a 360 horizontal slice, followed by a upward diagonal slash, both dodged with ease.
She counters with a downward feint, and finishes with a stab.
I feel it pierce my stomach.
See, you're smiling. You want to kiss her.
Shut up and heal.
I rip the blade out and throw it back at her, then kick her in the stomach, sending her into the cave wall.
She 'Oofs' as she hits the wall. I run at her and trip.
A trap.
A net comes to catch me and I barely cut it in half before landing.
I look at Puta and see smoke in her place.
Smoke bomb. That's fine. There was caves on the mountainside as well I recall now.
I run through the smoke and follow the sound of feet hitting stone.
I end up on a cliff edge and see Puta assembling a trap.
I tap Katayana against her shoulder, and she jumps forward, slicing a rope in the process.
A log tied to vines swings towards me.
I smile and slice it in half, and see a giant water shuriken heading towards my face. There's no time to dodge.
I headbutt it, and feel the water hit my face, drenching it.
I look towards where it came from, and see Puta.
I flick my wet bangs out of my face, and jump at Puta.
She throws fiery kunai at me, and I slice them out of the air, and pull out my left pistol Death, and fire at her.
She dodges them with wind magic, floating out to the empty space beside us, above the lake.
I wall-jump off the cliff wall she was on as I hit it, and fly towards her, blade by my side, ready for the finishing blow.
Her fiery katana hits mine in a blow of sparks, and we fall together.
I rip off her mask as I push away from her, and see her face in a blissful smile.
She's as excited as you are.
No she isn't, shut up. And neither am I!
I spin around and nip her nose.
She gets me in the knee with a kunai.
I kick her in the side, and grab her head and hold it forcing it to see the earth it will soon hit.
She uses wind magic to cut my hands to ribbons, and I let go, moaning in pain.
And pleasure.
Never.
I feel my hand healing and see her wounds have healed as well. We land outside a house and the dust explodes around us as we land.
I rush forward and bring a diagonal slice down on her head.
She blocks and brings a hang chop across my chest.
I take the blow and knee her in the stomach, then spin Katayana around and stab her through the head.
It doesn't feel right though.
Feels like...
wood.
I rip Katayana out of the mannequin and dodge a water shuriken and fire at her with my pistol.
She slices the bullets out of the air.
This is my type of girl right here.
I put away Death and charge at her, my speed picking up, the blood roaring in my ears, the dust surrounding me.
I bring my blade to my side, and when I reach her, I slice through her blade, carving her chest in half.
My blade stays where it is in the air, as I watch her fall, and the petals fly.
Did you just cum?
Can you quit fucking ruining my victories with shit like that? What the fuck Lilith?
I wipe down Katayana with a few petals and put it away.
The shield falls down, and we're restored to our pre-battle selves.
I take Puta's hand and pull her up.
"Good match. Had me there for a minute with that double."
"Yeah, I should've thrown my kunai sooner."
"Yeah, you should've."
I'm still holding her hand as we exit the arena together.
"So, whose my next opponent?"
"No idea."
------------------------------
"What an electric match everyone, and I see romance in the air as well."
"Yeah, so do I. Night everyone."
"Good night, and sweet dreams. Remember, destiny might be writing your story.
Dang character limit ruining my title. It's really The Unimensional Warriors Tournament Part 2. Screwed up the first parts title. Let the story begin!
-------------------------
"Welcome back to The Unimensional Warriors Tournament! I am John Willaims and this is my partner in crime, Lucius Dehaviell."
"How's it going?"
"It's going alright. This is the a Jacob Deatrix feed, and our personal pick for the win, so you'll be sitting with us as we narrate his life. It'll be great. Not really, it's almost always dull as all hell. The match will be in five hours and I'm gonna try to beat the elite four." John yawns and leans back in his chair, pulling out a DS.
"You are pretty unprofessional." Lucius scowls.
"Tell me if something interesting happens."
--------------------------------------------
I wake up and see a camera floating around me. I punch it in the face and watch it sizzle and die. Then I get up and use the bathroom. Do my manly things I do cause I'm a man, then get dressed.
Now, it's time to explore.
Indeed it is. What we gonna find, Jacob?
Money, fame, tits, and swords, Lilith.
Fantastic. I'm going back to sleep.
Have fun.
I open my door and see a cute girl in a kimono. Blue hair, purple eyes, and petite. Asian, hair in a bun, normal ninja girl on break. Nice legs though.
"How's life then, stranger?"
"I'm Puta. I'll be your opponent next round." She says clipped, holding out her hand.
I shake it and say "Want to come grab some breakfast with me?"
She shrugs and says "Sure, why not?"
"I'm Jacob, but since we're opponents you already know that."
"You are a capable warrior. Who taught you?"
"Self-taught."
"Impossible. That's impossible with such skill and-"
"Quit talking like a robot and be human. I'm not a target for god's sake."
"I am not talking like a robot. This is how I normally talk." she says, with no emotion.
"What's your favorite food?"
"None of your concern."
"Ah come on, be social. It's breakfast time, seriously!"
I spy a camera trailing behind us.
-------------------------
"He sees us again." John says.
"Having fun with that camera?"
"I was. His opponent from what I remember is a ninja versed in elemental arts. The elements are her kunai. She favors fire and water."
"He's pulling out his gun. He's gonna shoot you!"
BANG!
-----------------------------
"Freaking camera's stalking me. What about you?"
"I cut mine in half." she states, smiling.
"Knew there was a human in you. Come on, this machine here can get us anything in exchange for money. What you want?'
"Orange chicken from the dimension Pangaa."
I punch that in and say "And I'll take lasagna from a Garfield comic strip."
We take our food and sit down.
"Never met anyone who eats dinner foods for breakfast like me." I say, taking a bite and being manly about my burning tongue.
"I agree. Most people think I'm crazy." she takes a big steaming bite and keeps her face stoic.
"Same. So what you think of the competition?"
I take another big bite of fire.
"I think most of them are rather arrogant. All believing in stats and foolish strategies. There is no strategy in combat except exploiting weaknesses. Fire beats ice, so on."
She takes another bite, not even cringing. She then grabs a packet of hot sauce and pours it on her food. I take some and do the same.
"I don't know. Being known as The Ultimate Badass certainly gives me a right to be arrogant."
I take another bite, ignoring the ice machine to my left.
I focus on the room instead. It's a plain white cafeteria. That doesn't help me at all.
"You are worthy of the title though. I've seen videos of you being a hero. Lighting your cigarettes with your enemy's flames, riding missiles through the battlefield, and killing gods with ease certainly helps your case."
She takes a final bite, finishing her plate. I finish mine at the same time, and realize I just went through a plate of lasagna in two minutes.
We both ignore our drinks, and stare at each other.
"That may be true, but I know I can be beat. I just haven't met my match."
"Do you think I could be your match?"
"No. Only someone as badass as me can beat me in a fair fight. Could you sneak in my room and slit my throat? Most likely, especially if I got my music on."
"I can respect that. I'll still do my best. It was nice meeting you Jacob." she stands up and holds her hand out as she did when we met.
"I'd rather you stay and chat a bit longer. I have no one to talk to besides my Devil, and she's got a date with her girlfriend later, plus she's asleep."
"I'm afraid I can't stay. If you'd like, you can accompany me. I'm going to be checking out the rest of the contestants on the oft chance I beat you."
"Sounds good." I stand up, and shoot our trash into the nearest trash can after balling it up.
I take a look at her kimono and see something interesting.
It's all black and plain, but on the back, top left shoulder, there is a rose bud that's primrose. It's a really nice shade of purple.
I smile, and tap that shoulder.
"Could've mentioned you're the Rose Petal Ninja."
"I thought you knew."
"You wear a mask. 17 right?"
"Yes. And you are 17 as well correct?"
"Indeed. Yeah, started out at 13."
"A truly illustrious career. Worthy of so much praise."
"Eh. I'm not Batman."
She finally laughs, and it sounds wonderful, like the wind laughing, and says "We all know Batman is better than us in the end."
------------------------
"It's a shame. They'd make a decent couple." John remarks.
"Jacob...won't go for it. Lots of our friends alone have died in our adventures, let alone loves." Lucius sighs.
"Loves?"
"None of your concern."
--------------------------------
"Hello audience! It's time for the show to hit the road! Lucius, the profile on Puta!"
"Let's see who she is." he says, throwing the paper on the table.
A short girl with a knife filled with fire in her right and a kunai made of water in her left wearing a black plague doctor's mask and a kimono made from rose petals the color of primrose.
"How is she a ninja?" Lucius says.
"Puta, the Rose Petal Ninja." the soulless robot says. "She is a ninja from an unknown clan, who has gained a reputation for her outfit and her skill with magic. She is considered an expert on invisibility, currently considered able to be invisible even to infrared, and a master of elemental magic, focusing on fire and water. She is known to befriend certain targets if worthy of one on one combat. She has not lost as of yet. That is all the information we have at the moment on her."
"Huh. That's a first. A lack of information due to a lack of information, and not because they have almost no skills." John says, shock clearly on his face.
""That sucks. Look the match is starting. The arena this time is interesting. It's a traditional Japanese village of ancient times right?"
"With various ninja traps of course." He says with a smile, the shock hidden within his eyes.
"Let the match begin!"
----------------------------------
We meet in the middle in a grapple. We're equals now in strength, but in durability...
I knee him in the stomach then jump out of the grapple, coming back with a combo I call Badass Finish.
Two punches from the left to the jaw, one right to the stomach, Gatling gun punches to the gut, one right haymaker right to the face, back up, run forward, jump up in the air, spin sideways and finish him with a in-the-air barrel heel kick to the ground, shattering his skull.
I walk away and pick up my weapons, putting them away.
"We're not done." Clint says, standing fully healed.
"I've already won, you might as well shoot yourself and end it."
"I have one more move."
"What's that?"
I'm hit from behind and launched into him, and receive a kick to the face into a pillar.
I stand up and spit blood, and look at Clint.
There's red eyes and white eyes.
"You made a double that's stronger than you."
"Much easier than wasting a life. I can make multiples of him."
Two walk out from the original red eyes.
"Well, it ends in a few minutes anyway."
I pull out Katayana and Soulsalax and smile. They charge at me at once.
I spin around, slicing them in half with Soulsalax and charging Clint, the fear in his eyes evident.
"This is the end!"
I slice him in half with Katayana then kick each half into a separate wall and spear each half with a sword.
"I'm done playing with you child. Learn how to fight then come talk to me."
"Jacob Deatrix is the winner." The soulless robot says.
This is a pure action scene between Jacob Deatrix and various things. Jacob is pretty badass, for those of you that haven't read my stories yet. For a detailed description of him, I recommend going to writerscafe.org, looking up Mip/John K. Brierley and reading character descriptions, or previous stories featuring Jacob Deatrix.
Let us begin!
- --------------------------
"Hello everyone and welcome to the annual Unimensional Warriors Tournament, with your host, John Williams, and my partner in crime for this tournament, Lucius Dehaviell, the Satanic Seducer! How's it going Lucius?"
"It's going pretty good, I'm ready to watch people get their asses handed to them."
"Now Lucius, you know thanks to technology, all of these battles are to the death right?"
"Yeah, you're healing dome is amazing. When it falls, it heals all wounds in the dome area and even brings people back to life. It's incredible, a amazing mix of magic and science."
"Yes. Now our first match close to being underway, let's review tonights combatants. Our first contestant is Clint To The Brink, strange name, even for a title given by the people."
"Agreed, it is extremely weird. What's he look like?"
"Let me show you."
John picks up the contestants information and tosses it into the table in front of the two. It's absorbed by the table and Clint's image is seen in 3-D hologram imaging along with his information being spoken by a emotionless voice.
Clint looks like a cowboy mixed with a raptor who has a bad case of scarring.
"Clint To The Brink as in the Brink of Suicide because of his near suicidal tactics ranging from using minefields as escape routes when outgunned to running at his enemies when they're in tanks and commandeering one and killing them all, this man in insane. He is a skilled gunfighter and the only magic he knows is healing magic, which makes him near unstoppable on the field for his spell "Constant Regret" where he heals constantly almost as fast as a Sin Angel. His weaponry in this tournament is his trusted revolvers which fire incendiary bullets, a diamond serrated knife, and a few rings stored with energy for large amounts of healing. He has enough rings to be able to die a total of 9000 times and come back, but for this tournament he has only 4 per round."
"That's one tough cookie." Lucius remarks.
"Indeed but the next one is the unimension's new golden child, Jacob Deatrix, The Ultimate Badass! You're good friends with Jacob aren't you?"
"Yeah, and if I wasn't around he'd blow everything up in the process of killing his current mark."
"He's a sociopath then?"
"No, he's an idiot who believes being badass is the only way of life."
"So...superhero complex?"
"Bingo. Let's hear what the robot has to say," Lucius says, reaching back and grabbing his information and tossing it into the table.
Jacob's 3-D hologram appears, and the audience all 'awwww' at Jacob's beautiful green eyes, not disturbed by the hologram's soulless projection of him. Jacob has long black hair down to his shoulder's, pale white skin, and wears all black, from his strange shoulder decorations that are holsters for his pistols, to his combat boots. He wears a black trenchcoat, black shirt advertising Madness Combat underneath that, black jeans, and black combat boots. He has a large holster for his greatsword on his back and a hidden sheath for his katana in his jacket.
"Jacob Deatrix, The Ultimate Badass. He has a condition that enhances his general stats greatly when he has adrenaline in his system and he keeps 1.8% of all stat boosts. He can at the moment, without adrenaline, pick up a car, run a mile in 23 seconds, shoot an apple off a moving bird 300 meters away, and hack the NSA of the dimension Securitus in 3 minutes and 47 seconds while projecting a gif of him dancing to Nerd Rage on all hacked devices. He has to use restraining magic to be able to not break everything, or move faster than everything in the unimensions. He is extremely skilled with magic, particularly with elemental, mixing fire, ice, and lightning into devastating combos. He uses various summons from the Final Fantasy series as trigger words for his magic. His skill in hand-to-hand combat is ranked 15th in the entire unimensions, in greatsword skills, he is 23rd, in katana skills, he is 9th, and in duel pistols, he is 13th. In magic, he doesn't reach the top 100 due to his skills being focused being rather narrow and considered by most to be used to enhance his attacks rather than to be used as a weapon, given exception to his fire, ice, and thunder magic.
His equipment for this tournament are two desert eagles equipped with autoreloaders, and the bullets being used in this tournament being iron, silver, and missiles. Jacob is famed for using missiles to light his cigarettes in combat.
He also has a MCGS, or a motorcycle to greatsword morphblade, a onyx katana, and a trenchcoat with 400 pounds of magicked steel kept between two layers of leather for protection, even though his natural ability has increased his durability to the point of bullets bouncing off of him. All of his stats except endurance and intelligence have been lowered to stats that all opponents can handle, though not with ease."
"Is this all true?" John asks, impressed.
"Not the magic part. That's out of date. On combat magic, Jacob is 2nd."
"Whose 1st?"
"Last year's runner up, Fiona Hecate."
A blast sounds through the sky.
"I'm John Williams, and let the tournament begin!"
- --------------------------
I've been sitting here too long. This guy should be a piece of cake for the ultimate badass.
The gate opens up.
Why'd they have to copy the Colosseum, it's so unoriginal.
I draw my MCGS, Soulsalax, and Liberty, my left pistol, and enter the arena.
And there's the lizard cowboy, Rango. I mean Clint.
"The fight begins in 10...9...8...7..."
"May the best man win!" I yell across the arena.
"Go fuck yourself."
"5...4...3...2...1...Fight!"
"I'm gonna fuck you up!"
I run at him as fast I can, firing as I do. I throw Soulsalax at him and dodge a bullet in the process. As he's dodging my sword, I pull out my other pistol and fire at him double time.
He fires back and runs to a pillar for cover.
"Shivan Icebreaker!"
I form a giant ice block in front of me and kick it through that pillar.
He doesn't jump out of the way. Is he crushed? Where is he?
I take a few steps to avoid the pillar and realize what he did.
He jumped on the pillar as it was falling and is coming right for me.
I run along the pillar and hear gunshots. I narrowly dodge them with a flip and fire back before hitting the ground. I jump up 20 feet to land on the still falling pillar and fire at Clint. He fires back, not even bothering to dodge my bullets, just taking them, and why wouldn't he? He has 3 lives left after this.
I pull out Katayana, my katana, and slice his bullets out of the air as I run at him. When I reach him I jump up and dropkick him into the pillar across from us, breaking it with his corpse.
He's going to be healing for a second, better go grab Soulsalax.
I jump off just as the pillar hits the ground and run over to Soulsalax and put it back in it's sheath.
"To the Brink!"
I turn around and see Clint running at me, his eyes red with hatred.
I can see the magic around him. He must've used his remaining lives to power himself up after realizing extra lives don't mean shit against me.
"Heaven or Hell!" I roar, dropping my weapons and charging.
I'll be honest. I don't understand what happened at all. I got the gist. Never leave anything blank. A blank word is the most annoying thing in the world. Not rememberig something is fine, but you could've instead put that he didn't hear the end of it because he got distracted by that decked out guy. All in all, it has potential, you just need to give background. And this is the first chapter so most people can forgive you, myself included.
I'm impressed. That was pretty good. I always liked a good third person telling of a story and you pulled it off rather well. I however, will admit that I don't like giving base names like boy or demon to things. If it's for a short scene like this it's fine but if you plan on revisiting Demon, I recommend giving him a real name. Look into demon names and such, it'll help inspire you at the least. Always look into demons and such if you plan on doing this kind of thing.
I really need to check my stories before I publish them. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.
I hope this makes up for my extremely lazy story last week.
---------------------------------
What the fuck was that? It's like, fucking 5 a.m. I swear to god if that was a gunshot.
Was that hole there before?
Is that another hole?
Am I being shot at?
Ow!
Alright, stuck in the eye. On three.
One.
Two.
Three!
Ow! That fucking hurt like hell.
Why am I being shot at...those sons of bitches, I've only been asleep for half an hour!
That's it. People are dying.
I get up and pull out Katayana and Liberty.
Crash!
Whose in that rubble?
Is that...
"Illius, you fucking cunt! What the hell are you doing getting my room shot up?! I've barely been asleep five minutes!" I yell as more bullets bounce off of me.
Illius is a shapeshifter goddess. Goddess of what? Fuck if we know. Her current form is a brunette with decent curves and red eyes wearing a blue skin suit and wielding those weird half scythes with can be combined into a small double scythe. I've never seen the use. You know what? I'm too fucking tired to explain everything to you readers. Just cause Destiny can read my mind doesn't mean I half to explain everything at 12 a.m.
"I'm sorry Jacob, they ambushed me after you went inside. I thought I could take care of them but-"
"You're a little bitch who can't do shit?"
"Jacob!"
"I'm sorry, you're a grown little bitch!" I yell.
"Oh my fucking god! My eye again! I'll kill you all!"
I throw Katayana through the nearest guy, shooting at whoever I see along the way.
"You can't survive, punk!" random thug yells.
"I've walked every inch of this building. I'm a Sin Angel. I can teleport wherever I've been. You're fucked."
I teleport behind him and shoot him through his skull. I pull Katayana out of the wall and glance at Illius.
"Valefor," I say, flicking my wrist at Illius, flinging the rubble off her with wind.
"Thanks Jacob."
"You owe me for this."
The ceiling explodes above me, and my instincts take over, barely dodging this guy's sword.
"I am the legendary samurai, Sitetsu-"
I shoot him in the face.
"Don't. Care. At. All."
"Father!"
"Ifrit Ultimagus!"
I cook the idiot's son. With lots of fire.
"Jacob!"
"I don't give a fuck. At all. The dude was, like, 15 anyway."
"Congratulations, Jacob Deatrix."
Bang!
"I'm sorry, but I'm a hologram. I'm just here to congratulate you before you die. You see, we've brought someone in. Someone unstoppable."
"Who could beat me?"
"Have you heard of Tiff Wildernkins?"
"No. I'll just kill her anyway so I don't care."
"She is much more skilled than you in every-"
Bang!
"I'm a hologram-"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Shut up and bring her so I can kill her! I want to sleep you little bastard piece of shit hologram momma's little bitch manwhore!"
"Damn Jacob, calm down." Illius mumbles.
"You can shut the fuck up! I am sick of this shit! I wanted a vacation so this would fucking stop!"
Gunfire erupts around the room and I react by looking at the shooter.
A blonde girl wearing a jetpack and wielding one of those 'Unbreakable' greatswords along with various guns.
"I am your worst nightmare, Jacob-"
Bang!
She pulls the bullet out of her forehead.
"You're a dick."
"You have a manface!"
"I'll kill you, you little fucker!"
I run at her at full speed and punch that bitch's teeth out of her mouth and through all the walls into the street.
"Say that again, Gums!"
She stands up and spits a tooth out.
"You hit like a bitch and you act-"
I teleport behind her and stab her through her tiny little boob."
"I'm Jacob Deatrix, bitch. And I'm pissed."
I pull Katayana out of her corpse and light a cigarette.
What the fuck is that?
Is that a fucking Godzilla Octopus?
RAWWWWRRRRRRR!
I hate you already. I don't know who this guy is but I'm ripping his dick off and shoving it down his throat.
Godpus charges through the city like a drunk ballerina on acid, leaping tall buildings in a single belly flop.
"Anything after this and I'm just gonna kill you, Illy."
I teleport over to the coffee shop it hasn't destroyed yet and wait for it to flop over to me.
I hate everything, yes I do. I hope everybody burns in hell. I will cut you in half like a banana. Fuck Foxxxyyyyy. Fuck Foxxxxxxyyyyyy.
Ah here he is.
I aim the edge of Katayana at him and charge it up with Sin energy.
"Sinner's Wrath!"
The waves of sin erupting from Katayana as I swing her cuts Godpus into pieces.
Good, that's the end of that.
I teleport back to my bed.
Then I realize my apartment is destroyed.
"Illius! You're getting me a bed in 20 or you're losing teeth!"
I want to never write again. I hate school so much. I'm only 14, I should be out being a badass.
August is such a b***h.
Just two more hours anyway. get through lunch,, 7th, and 8th hours, and I'm home free.
"Hey, Golden Banana,"
Ah. This prick.
Jut because I prefer my own power to change my outfit doesn't mean I'm a banana.
Jacob always says to remind the audience who you are.
I'm Mip. I'm the son of Destiny.
My powers rather easy to explain. I can alter anything, and I mean anything. It becomes a shiny yellow. I can make guns have unlimited ammo, small chains, small as in the small chain around handcuffs, into a 20 foot edged chain. Blade-chain? It's a chain that can cut you And I can change my own body, making my fists larger and more powerful.
A lot of stuff. You can figure it out.
So I make my own outfits. Out of other outfits. Generally gentleman's jackets and the such, I made by hair bright yellow and sticking up and my eyes bright blue.
Now then. This a*****e doesn't like me for a lot of reasons, I can't kick his a*s without using my powers because I'm o small but still.
I could. Easily. And I just might.
"Leave me alone a*****e." I say.
"Oh, someone getting brave."
His cronies laugh. Three of them.
I silently make my arms stronger but they're limited by a lack of growth in the arm department. I can maybe manage a one hit ko now though.
They surround me while they laugh. These idiots are killing themselves. I slowly make myself faster. I'm gonna make a whirlwind of pain and misery and end it within a second.
"I'm gonna shut that little mouth of yours." the a*****e growls.
I punch him in the jaw, spraining it, followed by a kick to a cronie's balls, a double hammer to his skull. Next, I spin around with a very powerful backhand to three cronies, knocking them out. Then I sit down and look bewildered.
I didn't move fast enough. So now I'm suspended for a week and August is gonna ground me.
Lucius is right. She's a b***h.
-----------------------
Feeling lazy. So I hoped you enjoyed though.
I wonder how this is gonna end.
I wonder if this is even real or just a dream?
That guy's blood sure felt real.
So did our blood.
That knife.
The ground.
The people.
The city.
It's all so medieval.
They say the year is 1312. They say we're insane. That we should be an I. But I am an I.
But I'm here as well, the idiots.
But yet, here we are.
Wearing clothes from the 21st century.
Are they wrong?
Or are we? That's ridiculous. How could we imagine cigarettes? Grand Theft Auto? Devil May Cry? Final Fantasy? It would take a colony of insanity to create all those and make them seem so naturally sane.
But how did we get here?
And why now? In the midst of all this chaos?
It doesn't matter. I don't care for their stories. There was no need to kill her. They might be heroes but he's dying. They all are if necessary.
We really are insane if we think one knife can kill them all.
You forget, technically, we are insane. Alex. We are going to gut them all.
For once, I agree with you Magner.
I'm tired, I'll resume my work when you catch up with them.
Deal.
Magner withdraws into our shared space in our mind.
I look down on this city whose name we refuse to acknowledge. This isn't our home.
I look around for that symbol.
A purple rose with a white stem. I'll follow him and corner him. Then Magner will get to work.
We're so suspicious with our 'foreign' clothing, we've resorted to the rooftops for our search.
Alex. By the baker's shop. The boy. He was down there with us in that cell and now he's sporting the rose.
I got it.
I pick my route and run. I hop from our current roof to the next, run along it's slanted roof until I'm level with the church and grab on to the cross.
We smile as the boy sees us. No one else has noticed us.
We want him to run. This is a message. No escape.
He runs faster than I expected him to.
No matter. Just get going.
I move like a ninja. Rooftop to rooftop. I duck into a building to make him think we lost him. As he walks by, I grab him by the shoulder and spin him around.
"How's it going kid?"
"Yeah, little rose bearer now aren't you, you little piece of shit."
"What's the matter with you?"
"We're considered insane."
"Rather strange, considering you're the one that thinks they're gonna survive."
"Now Magner, calm down."
"He brought it on himself."
I pull out the knife and Alex attempts to restrain me.
"I can't hold him off for long. Make a choice. Tell us where he's at or die."
"He's a hero! Why does he need to die?!" he cries.
"Why did that girl need to die?"
"She shouldn't have been the guard that night. He let you go."
"I don't recall it going that way kid. Maybe you're the one that's insane."
"Yeah, if I recall, I cut off one of his fingers when he killed her, and you knocked us out with a brick."
"He said you were insane, and anything you saw wasn't affection, but hatred."
"So it wasn't our fault?"
"Man, I feel so much better. Let's kill him."
Alex takes the knife and flips it in the air.
"I'll do the honors, Magner."
"Go right ahead."
"Please don't. I'm my family's only hope for food."
"Then talk. Or die. I rarely see Alex like this but when he gets this way he'll slaughter a planet."
"I'll never tell you!" the idiot screams.
"Death and Chaos." we whisper.
We slice his throat and disappear in the time it takes for his blood to hit the ground.
We run along the shadows, and watch the roses gather around their blossoming flower turned into a corpse.
Do you think he was right? I thought she and I were getting along pretty well.
You can't imagine a first kiss, Magner. We may have gotten here on accident but that was no accident.
It felt nice. Really nice.
I know it did bud. I was happy for you. There's no way that didn't happen.
She was the first one to believe we're just two people in one body.
That girl was a strange but good one.
He's going to die.
Horrifically.
------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed.
This is August Caeser's first story so here ya go. Description time.
August was born in the dimension Strabo, on Earth. Her mother was a dictator who went by the name Julia Caeser and was named the female version of Augustus. Through mysterious circumstances, August disappeared while her mother's worldwide dictatorship ended while Jacob was just randomly there singing Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. Nothing has been proven except Jacob was there but rumors say August destroyed her mother's rule with math, her own falsified spoiledness to get the items she needed, and a rebel leader hidden in her former home known as Simple. He was the chef. None of this is confirmed but widely believed due to her various achievements after this.
At 15, she had defeated Jacob Deatrix after a heated argument by predicting where he'd be and putting several bullets and a knife through his skull.
At 16, she broke out of the most high tech, secure, and overmanned prison in the unimensions. (She was caught by the vampire bounty hunter Daniel Williams. Her crimes were espionage and stealing over a billion credits worth of items.)
At 17, she was a general in the rebel army on her former home and won against the previous but corrupt rebels.
She often dresses in various outfits of red and black with hidden images within it. Her original outfit was a series of lines that when put together, was her giving you double birds.
Her skills are extreme accuracy, intelligence to the point to where she can calculate where an object will hit within the second she sees the object, and ultimate stealth.
She has never been caught because of her own mistakes.
Her normal equipment is two colt revolvers of various designs, all red and black, one black iron knife with a red hilt and grip, grappling hook, two emp grenades, a small phone she made herself that acts as more of a laptop than a phone, she uses it to hack but Lilith will tell you she's on Facebook more than she is hacking on the job, and one unbreakable lock pick taken from a myth known as the skeleton key.
She is a young black women with long blonde straightened hair, rather large curves she uses to seduce and deceive, and a fashion sense that consists only of red and black.
Let the story begin. Enjoy.
- -------------------------
"Today we will be testing the no walls mod. This is a gun that is capable of shooting through walls and should stop when it hits flesh or flies for a mile."
An interesting device. It's such a shame it'll be mine soon. Then I'll sell it for a nice price. I wish this'll take a while to explain, just for those potential readers. Finding short stories about Jacob online awhile confirmed the Destiny recording our lives and showing the world our most amazing stories.
So I'm gonna do you guys a favor and explain in detail what's going to happen in over 15 seconds. That should be a few pages right? At least enough for a short story.
It begins with the gun itself. I messed with it a bit and it will now shoot three centimeters to the left landing in man's shoulder. That will be my distraction.
Then I will activate a small explosion underneath the stage. That will cause the man holding the gun to drop it down into the hole. The combination of injuring a man and an explosion will overwhelm him easily.
I have my girl Lilith down there as the driver with Jacob down there as security.
Jacob believes this is too dangerous a weapon and has paid me to get it, it's worth, and the tools needed to destroy any millimeter of evidence it ever existed.
Then a smoke bomb activates and covers their escape.
Then I leave being known simply as a confused witness.
I feel this is still kinda short.
While this unfolds I think I'll relate how I messed with the gun.
It was hidden in a rather high tech place, security wise.
But as with most places, there was barely anything in the vents. A few lasers easily disabled.
They never learn.
When I found it, it was easy to adjust it to miss. Combined with the seating chart, I chose some alien singer as the man getting shot.
...
Yeah, this doesn't help. Should've done a 40 second plan.
.................
Apologies for the shorter stories, I'm focusing on my novel right noe. Hope you enjoyed.
At 8/24/14 01:55 AM, uhnomal3 wrote:At 8/23/14 05:21 PM, FieryLighting wrote: I believe the reason it looks like that was cause I posted this off my phone. I hope you enjoyed.Cliche
Hold up, you can't just come in and call my story cliche without an explanation. That's just insulting and makes me think you don't even know why it's cliche. I'll admit I lean towards DMC when it comes to Jacob fighting but I don't see anything else cliche about it.
I believe the reason it looks like that was cause I posted this off my phone. I hope you enjoyed.
I won't ever understand Jacob. I've been with him since he became a warrior, even though he prefers the title 'The Ultimate Badass'. He's a strange overpowered man.
The Devil's Songstress, child of the Deatrixian, and his condition leaves him making Superman look normal.
He's a Sin Angel as well, making him able to heal from almost any wound.
And I'm his Devil, the mother of sin, Lilith.
Jacob and I first met when he was 11. He had been learning how to use his katana, which wasn't nearly as good as the one he has now, but he had been challenged by this wannabe badass with a nice pair of desert eagles with auto reloaders.
Jacob bet his katana for those pistols. The idiot agreed.
At the time, I assumed Jacob was just a wannabe badass like this guy was.
But then I saw Jacob in a fight.
And even as a novice, he was magnificent.
He cut all those bullets out of the air without ever slowing down.
The duel was to first blood. But then the wannabe badasses' friends wanted in.
Then Jacob smiled.
Jacob was a devil in his own way.
A righteous devil. A Satan, righteous and glorious.
He destroyed them. Utterly and completely.
I was in the shadows. Watching. I was considering Jacob from the beginning but not as a serious candidate until now.
I thought he was a ignorant child who thought he had some skill.
But he could take on gods at that young age with that skill alone.
I watched him closely from then on.
After a time I wanted to leave and let him be a normal warrior.
But I had begun to love him like a brother.
And when that car hit him...
I made him a Sin Angel. So he would survive.
It would be four years before we'd have our first conversation.
In that time he went through so many betrayals.
He had his life and memories taken from him to protect him, but his brother, the boy who did it, would still hunt him for being a Sin Angel.
Because he himself is a Holy Demon.
He wandered, unable to recover his memories, a stone tossed in a river that never has one direction.
Then he met the Black Roses. He was 12.
He was 13 when they betrayed him.
There were no survivors.
At 14 I spoke to him.
Why did I speak to him after being silent this long?
The idiot decided to make his main objective to find out if Ed, Edd, and Eddy ever got with those trailer trash girls.
I'm not even joking.
It wasn't 'Protect the innocents' or 'Kill this guy', it was that exact goal.
What did I say?
I said
"Are you fucking serious?!"
"Who said that?" He asked.
I then used the demon skin on his left arm to assume my physical form, something you can't even begin to comprehend.
"Hey, I'm Jacob, who are you to question me?"
"I'm your devil, that's who I am!"
"Well, that's my goal, deal with it."
And that's how Jacob and I first talked to each other.
Fucking idiotic jackass with his stupid wannabe Dante ass.
I zoned out most of what Vlad told me. He's just an old man that thinks he's still Dracula. To most he still is.
Not to me though. To me he's an old man who doesn't understand silver bullets. Or guns. A whiz with a computer somehow. Hell if I know how.
However then things get weird when the king of the summer court struts in like he owns the place and starts yelling at me.
He looks like Crysala but taller and less feminine and his hair sticking up.
"How dare you even talk to my daughter after killing her mother!"
"Oi! We all know it was self-defense asshole! I was still a kid and she attacked me first! It was an accident she died. I still had no idea how to use these things but I do now."
"That doesn't explain your sudden growth."
"It's a proven thing called the turning or something. I don't fucking know but I didn't mean to kill her. But I definitely know how to use them now."
"Is that a threat?"
"No, just a fact."
"Both of you calm down this instant." Vlad commands.
We listen. He may be old but he's still pretty good at fighting.
"Now, your majesty, King Titanus, has a job for you unrelated to his daughter or any other fae for that matter."
"Yes. Friday at 1 a.m., your presence will be required for a sparring match as a referee between Crysala and her sister, Sylphide. They are arguing at the moment so your presence is needed so they don't manage to kill each other."
"I can do that. Am I being paid this time?"
"Only if your interference is required, as agreed."
"I'll see you there, your majesty."
He then walks out rather rudely. Dick.
"Let's get going, Daniel." Nora says softly.
---------------
I may be a vampire but that doesn't mean I like doing stuff like this at 1 in the morning. I prefer gaming.
It's your basic fae arena. Lots of bright flowers surrounding a circle with each opponent on one end of the circle.
Crysala is in leather armor wielding a spear, her sister wearing steel and wielding a sword and shield.
I pulled out my phone and started playing Fire Emblem. I get bored by these battles easily. Love the music that accompany it though. Can't replicate it, that's for sure.
The note that signals the start of the battle arrives, and the battle with it.
Clash, clash, struggle.
Then a sword stabs my phone.
"Pay attention as I kill your girlfriend." she growls.
Titanus stands up. He and I had a rule about if this happened.
This battle is mine now.
"Sylphide, are you sure you wish to fight Daniel Williams to first blood?"
"What?" Sylphide and Crysala both say, shocked.
"Your father and I both agreed if I was attacked in the midst of a duel, it was to be considered a challenge. Do you accept?"
"Yes."
I throw my broken phone down and stand where Crysala once was and unleash my arm blades with a flourish of my arms.
"Bring it."
A new tune begins to play.
I made it myself. It's extremely dark and played on violins.
I call it 'Hunter's Prey'.
Sylphide assumes her place, arrogant as ever.
I retract my blades, confusing everyone but Titanus.
He knows I'm going to explain to her what the fuck is up.
The note plays.
Let it begin.
She comes at me going for a quick finish, I grab her arm and twist it, making her drop the blade.
"How are you so strong?!" she gasps in pain.
I roundhouse kick her square in the chin, not drawing blood. I pull her back and throw her to the other side of the ring.
She rolls on the ground and tries to stand up. I dropkick her just as she gets steady.
The note plays indicating I've drawn blood.
Damn.
"Daniel. Your presence is no longer needed."
"I'll see you Friday Crysala, unless you'd rather not."
"No, come please."
"Thanks."
I take my leave.
---------------------
I borrowed the car for this date. I'm wearing a semi casual outfit. Black dress pants, dress shoes, and a white button up. I'm honestly nervous about this. I've been wanting to do this for awhile.
I arrive at the gate, and the gates open, and a squadron of fae soldiers come and wave weird shit over my car, then wave me through after ten minutes.
I roll my eyes and drive on.
When I arrive at the entrance to the garden, I step out and enter the garden.
I had brought some roses I had been growing ever since I met Crysala. She gave me the seeds as a joke.
They nearly died a few times. I think they can tell cause no one will look at them.
She's waiting for me at this arch of flowers.
She's breathtaking.
She's wearing this dress that seems to be made from petals of almost every flower ever. Her father is standing beside her.
When I reach her, I hand her the flowers.
"You grew these?" she asks.
"They almost died a few times."
"They smell of it. But there's also a bit of love within them as well."
"There better be, it's expensive getting one of those flower wizards to help out, especially when they refuse to touch it."
She laughs and offers her hand.
I take it in mine and nod at Titanus before departing with the Flower Princess.
--------------------------
That's the end of the story, and I mean it. You don't get to read about their first date, deal with it. I hope you enjoyed.
Apologies for not having a story up last week, just got back from my dad's, moving into a new house, more excuses. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this readers.
This story will be in the perspective of Daniel Williams, a vampire turned at a young age that can walk in the daylight because he is also partly a mysterious race that opposes the vampires, however, Daniel doesn't know what yet. This will be my first story through his perspective, and as such, I'll list a few extra things about him.
His fighting style revolves around blades strapped to his arms and legs that can switched out for wooden stakes. His fighting style is very acrobatic, incorporating various flips and rolls and epic leaps ending in very bloody stabs. His blades are 3 feet long, and can be slid in and out easily because they were enchanted to be contained within the straps hidden under his jacket as a fluid. He took them from the vampire hunter Van Helsing when he was drunk and tried to kill him and slipped and fell on a chair and broke his neck. He was only 7 and a new vampire when this happened.
He taught himself his own style and after taking a job from a woman named Nora Vasclair, he was adopted by her and put into school at the age of 13.
He has ghostly white skin, grey lips, and medium length white hair. He wears all black and a white shirt. He wears sneakers that have a permanent black stain that is darker than the shoes themselves. He tells people it's from paint but really it's from when he stomped a vampire's head to mush. He has gray eyes. He is a very big nerd.
He has been doing odd jobs for various criminals since he was 10.
Let the story begin.
------------------------------
"Today we'll be discussing the myths of the medieval age." the teacher says.
No idea what his name is since school started. I just turned 17 today and I'm wondering what to do with this.
I pull out a book and start to read it. I read a lot of books based on these myths so I'll be fine.
Nora said we were gonna do something special for it but no idea what.
I don't like this class too much. The teacher and a lot of the students are human so they ignore the freaks in the room. We all just crowded into a corner because we're the only people we can get along with even though I've been paid to kill friends of their's before. You can guess I'm not popular.
Nobody likes the killer unless he has some quirk. He's insane, he's highly justified, nobody really likes the bounty hunter. That's what I've been all my life.
There's this one girl, a fae, she's been alive for a century, but she's still a teenager according to the fae. To humanity, she's just a latin girl with no curves.
To use, she's blue, with long red hair. Still barely any curves though.
I was thinking of asking her out, since nobody, not even Nora knows I'm really only 17. I just age weird for a vampire. Probably the other half of me.
To everyone else I'm 117 years old.
Her name's Crysala.
We get along pretty, but that's probably cause I'm also the vampire's representative in the court.
She's a summer fae if you were curious.
Fuck it.
"Hey Crysala, bet I can surprise you."
"I doubt it but go ahead and try." she says offhandedly.
"Want to go out sometime?"
Everybody in our corner looks at me like I'm crazy.
The bounty hunter that hunts even his own kind dating a fae princess.
Utterly insane.
Except to Crysala.
"Sure, any specific time?"
"Maybe this Friday about 7?"
"I can do that."
"Just make sure I'm expected, you know I hate having to deal with Frecasol."
"Agreed."
This'll be sure to cause conflicts and lies and attempted murders and poisonings.
I love politics.
----------------------
After school I went with Nora to meet with my 'uncle' Vlad. Apparently I'm getting a bit closer to the circle no matter how much I establish I don't want to be in it. I don't like being important. I hate even being a diplomat. For some reason they think I'm perfect for it. Hell if I know why.
On the ride there I explained to Nora what happened today because politics demands I do.
"Are you fucking insane?" she asks me, looking me in the eyes while driving on a highway.
"I'm not answering that till the crazy woman starts looking at the road."
She glares for a second before glaring at the road.
"Do you have any idea what this means?"
"I have a girlfriend?"
"You may be a very modern vampire even by newborns standards but that doesn't mean she is. Plus think what this means politically. It's like you favor the summer now anyway."
"I dated that werewolf when I was 14. I dated a winter at 13, a wizard 14-"
"Why didn't all those work out?"
"Because they're cunts."
"Daniel!"
"Sorry. Alright, it was because they couldn't keep up with me and the world. Sorry if I'm not old fashioned."
"That wasn't the deal with that one girl. Myra, was it?"
"That wasn't either of our faults."
"What happened there anyway?"
"None of your concern."
That's no one's concern. Ever.
"Whatever. Vlad has a job for this Friday."
"Can't do Friday unless it's after 11."
"That date isn't gonna last that long."
"Never know. Might have to deal with some stupid idiots."
"The fae don't understand boundaries, that's one thing that's always true."
---------------
So, the girl I'm supposed to seduce to get this information from is apparently a CEO of a very well funded science place. I don't care for their research, I just know it has to do with stem cells. I'm just surprised they manage to get stem cells.
So, the first step is getting in.
"What's the deal with so many female security guards?" I ask Jacob
"This place is supported by the Valkyries of the Unimensions. You remember that super feminist group that had a problem with us taking so many jobs?"
"Not our fault they can't kick as much ass as we do. You want me to seduce my way through this place?"
"Yes."
"Alright."
I get out the car and begin using my specialty when it comes to magic.
The heat.
Awhile back, I experimented with magic, to see if it could cause orgasms or turn people on after Jacob was poisoned one time and caused a spontaneous orgy because he's a Sin Angel, and when you poison one, an orgy happens.
He also trips balls the whole time as well.
It's basically a pink wave around me that causes girls to become much more turned on than they normally are when they see me. I use it a lot in combat against girls if I don't want to hurt them.
Unless they shot first. Then I'm shooting back.
I walk in and the first guard, a very busty redhead, waves me in with a smile. I walk to the elevator, and the door opens right on cue to a elevator filled with attractive women.
I walk in and hit the floor she's on, which is 100.
100 floors of making out and mutual groping.
When the doors unfortunately open, I give my favorite girl a little orgasm with a little pink ball as a thank you.
"Have a very nice day ladies."
"Bye Lucius." they say at once, laughing.'
I walk straight into the CEO's office after a brief makeout session with her secretary.
And by god! Is she fine!
Long brown hair. Bright blue eyes. Bright red lips. Long legs. That perfect color of pale white skin. And don't get me started on those curves!
"Hi, I'm Lucius Dehaviell."
I lower the heat wave. I want to do this right. No cheating for the guaranteed end.
"What are you doing here, Lucius?"
"I'm here to talk to you. You're very beautiful, you know that?"
"You shouldn't just barge into girl's offices, saying things like that." she says, blushing but trying to be angry,
"Yes, but yet your beauty commands me to do so. You're like a siren, but your beauty alone enchants me, no singing is necessary."
"Quit it. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Ah, but if you do that, who else is going to flatter you? You're very intelligent as well, you deserve to be flattered."
"I do but if you stay, how am I going to explain to people about this handsome young man in my office."
"Ahhh, I see. Do you truly wish to never see me again or just another time?"
"How about you come over to my condo?"
"As long as there is no interruptions because I must see you every second."
"I live alone, there will be no interruptions. Meet me at the local mall around 5, I get off then."
"Are you sure I can't stay until then? It's only an hour."
"No, I must be able to focus on my work."
"A career woman. I like that."
"By the way, before you leave Lucius, I'd like to say I'm impressed with the way you worked your way up here with. Also, my name is Alexis."
"Farewell Alexis."
I blow a kiss and she catches it. I take my leave.
"How'd it go?" Jacob asks.
"I just became her booty call, something I don't mind at all."
"How are you going to get the info from her?"
"I'll just have you hack her computer while I do my job. You get your information, we have sex, everyone wins."
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"So, did you enjoy your sex with that woman?"
It's the next morning, about 10 on a Sunday. I had given Alexis my number anytime she wanted me to visit again.
"Oh yes. Did you enjoy your info?"
"Immensely. Ready for a giant firefight to end the weekend?"
"I guess. But I'm taking a nap on the way there."
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We've arrived at a modern day stronghold. The information on her computer was the location of Jacob's target. A man named John Jacob Jardersmith.
He's a corrupt business man that takes stem cells from dead pregnant girls. Take a guess at how they died.
So Jacob's plan is to land on the roof using his wind magic, and kick ass after falling through a skylight. I like it.
So we did that.
We also happened to land right in John's office.
And me being the badass I am, just happened to land on his desk, facing him, with my big ol' revolver pointed right at his face.
Click, click, boom.
Rich dude is dead. Guys all around firing like crazy, I use demon fire, melt the bullets, and fire right back.
Do a backflip, land on Jacob, shoot this guy in the face, elbow drop another one in the throat.
Use dead guy as a human shield. Kicking ass and taking ass, that's what I do. Just deal with it.
Coming at me with a sword, get stabbed by Jacob's giant sword followed by his black katana of death.
Cause Click, Click, BOOM!
Luciussssss, you're such a ripoff of such such great songs. You can't raaapppp at allllll.
Fuck you, Jacob.
Fu fu fu fu fu fu fuck you too!
Making our escape downtown, cops on our tail, what do we do?
We take a turn down an alley, ditch the car, and disappear.
Then lie low for a week cause I'm not going to jail.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you enjoyed. I certainly enjoyed writing it.
Nothing makes sense, just roll with it.
So, I'm Lucius Dehaviell. I'm the reborn Antichrist according to some. I prefer the term Satanic Seducer. You can call me Goldentongue or Gold as well if you'd like. You're choice.
By the way, I'm called Gold because I seduced a 15 year old when I was 12. Also I'm very good with my tongue.
That's the joke, for those that are ignorant in the ways of sex.
I normally wear all black clothes with a red inside, or vice versa. My normal outfit is a black gentleman's jacket, black jeans, and black and red outlined sneakers.
My hair is black and with a little wave at the front of it. I have no idea what the name of my do is, I just know that guy with the nunchucks in Soul Caliber has a do similar to it. It's just not as long, my little wave. It ends in a peak instead of a wave.
It'd be better just to see a picture of me, I lost the epic description of myself this girl wrote about me. I normally read that every morning to remind me of how sexy I am. But this time I have to rely on myself.
Oh, and my eyes are black with red irises. Or is it red with black irises? Listen, my eyes are all black with red circles. I didn't care about the human anatomy at all.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
Who the fuck knocks on a door at 10 in the morning? Nobodies up this early on the weekend.
Must be a trap. I should get my revolver.
But what if it's girl scout cookies?
Is it worth taking a bullet if I'm wrong?
Maybe. Bring the gun just in case.
I go get the revolver and some money. I love my revolver. It's a big guy too. It also has unlimited ammo thanks to Jacob Deatrix giving it to me that way. He never explained how it's like that though.
I go to the door and open it.
And there is a hot girl selling girl scout cookies.
I love being 16. Nobodies too old or too young at this age.
Unless they're 15. Or 60.
"Hey, I'm selling cookies, would you like some?" she asks.
"Sure, and your number while we're at it." I reply.
"Ugh, all you men are so sleazy."
"Hey, I just asked for your number, not for you to come in and suck my dick. You want to have a long conversation about why I'm not a sleazy dirtbag or would you rather keep on assuming I'm a cheap bastard?"
"Alright, explain it."
"First off, I want a box of some kind of chocolate cookie. Second, I'm a nice 16 year old guy with my own share of problems. Do you have any idea how terrible it is to get your ass smacked by an old lady for no reason? It's degrading."
"That old lady at the mall? I fucking can't stand her. Always offering a hard candy after she smacks your ass. Fucking bitch,"
"I know right? She's ridiculous. I smacked her on accident before. Well, everyone else saw it as an accident, I did it on purpose."
"Oh my god, you're the guy who tripped and smacked her with your bag. Didn't it have a kitchen knife in it?"
"No, but it had a brick of meat. She hasn't touched my ass since."
"Ah god, that's incredible. You can't be a piece of shit now."
"Thanks. So I assume you're 16 as well?
"Yeah, actually. Are you cool?"
"Me, super cool."
"We should hang out sometime."
"How about you give me your number and I text you throughout your selling of the cookies, and when you're done, I come pick you up and we hang out and be cool together."
"That sounds like a good idea."
"By the way, what's your name? My names Lucius Dehaviell."
"Ashley Grace."
We exchange numbers, say our byes, then I go back inside with my cookies and she goes back to selling.
Time to take a shower.
Knock, knock, knock.
That better be Ashley butt naked or someone's getting shot.
I answer it and it's Jacob fucking Deatrix.
I slam the door as hard as I can and lock the door.
"Fuck you Jacob, it's Saturday, I'm not doing anything at all today. No getting shot, stabbed, fireballed, iced, or shocked. Fuck you, and fuck off."
"Lucius, I'm a Sin Angel."
Fuck. That means he can teleport anywhere he's been before. Which is in my house.
"What's for lunch?"
Raiding my fridge.
"Touch my sandwich and you'll regret it, Jacob!"
"Fine, i won't touch the sandwich."
I walk into the kitchen and take a look at this asshole.
Long black leather trenchcoat, long black hair, bright green eyes, skinny, wears all black. There's a giant sword on his back which somehow never bumps into anything. He also has these two weird decorative things, one on each shoulder, which are really holsters for his two desert eagles. I think the holsters look like a giant L made of vines resting on his shoulders on the long part.
He's white as well, if that helps. I don't understand why people get mad when you describe someone by their race. Sorry if that offends you but it's stupid.
"How's your devil, Lilith, doing?"
"How's your devil, Abaddon, doing?
"The usual, bitching about chocolate all the time, I normally tune him out unless he has something important or something not related to chocolate, which is almost never."
Fuck you, Lucius.
No, fuck you Abby.
"Same, but mine mostly talks about how this guy is hot or how this girl is, so on and so forth."
"So, what'd you need help with?"
"This girl won't give me the info I need for this job. I'll give you a cut of it if you get the information and help finish the job."
"How much exactly?"
"40 grand. Interested?"
I text Ashley and tell her we'll have to hang out tomorrow. A friend of mine needs some help 'moving'.
"Alright, but I'm driving. Lilith gonna be jumping off you this time?"
"Nah, she decided she wants to sleep for a week straight."
"Ha, good luck with that."
"Indeed."
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I really like doing little journal stories on places such as this. I always find them interesting, and it helps me design worlds for my characters to have their adventures in. I hope you enjoy this.
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This is a report on the residents of the planet Drafil in dimension Dragon Nexus, located in the northeast of the unimensions.
This report was written by unimensionally famous reporter Frelia Delphox, who is a proud member of the Forest Elves.
The residents of the planet Drafil, famous for the way they kill dragons, their natural enemy, and named after this technique, the Dragonstompers are a strange people.
I spoke with the current chief, Igneous Firefang, named after the rock he held onto the whole time while going through the Toughening.
"Let's talk about the Toughening first, that's the most argued topic about us in the whole unimensions. The Toughening is the process we put our children through when they become one year old. You see, we have to have skin more than tough enough to brave the dragon's claws, teeth, fangs, and flames. So, first we put them on a stick over a fire and bake them for a good bit every day. It helps us get used to the heat of fire, for even though we are naturally resistant to heat, we still feel it, and a 1000 degrees of heat is a 1000 degrees of heat. You'll freak out and die if you can't handle it. Every day we bring them lower and lower until they're bathing in it. Then we turn the heat up. When they're minds can handle the hottest flames, we begin toughening the body."
"And how do you do that?" I asked as he led me through the Toughening area.
"We punch them. To begin with anyway. They can handle fire, what is a punch to them? They don't think that after they get a punch from me, that's for sure. You can't hold back, cause dragons sure as hell won't. When they can handle our punches without even blinking, then we bring out the blades."
"The blades?" I asked.
"The blades, you see there, that boy looking at that blade like it's nothing? That's fearlessness. He's only three and already has no fear for weapons. That's what most people think you need to take on even the weakest dragon but that's not true. You need fear to be cautious. You see, the boy was cut. He fears the blade now, but it's a cautious fear, not an overcoming fear. When the boy gets past the man and through that door, he will move on to begin learning how to take on dragons and his fellow man."
Truly it is a strange site to see young boys and girls go through these grueling tests, but they are not inhumane to me anyway. None of them have failed. None of them have been even permanently hurt. They all will heal from their wounds. I must remind you this is a world that relies on technology and not magic, which would heal them much faster.
These people are a clan of warriors, a truly strange people, that is for sure. If you think these are inhumane, you haven't seen the dragons that live here. They make a Elder Dragon from any planet look like a newborn human baby.
We were attacked by dragons in the middle of the interview and I got to see the famous Dragonstomp technique in action.
Igneous is very muscular, so it was a great surprise to me to see him leap 20 feet in the air to land on the dragon's head. He then cut off the dragon's wings with a strange colored sword which I learned about later. He then jumped even higher than before in the air and stomped the dragon's spine, breaking it with ease. The dragon died instantly.
People instantly began harvesting the dragon's corpse for food, clothing, armor, and weaponry.
I was shocked by everyone being so nonchalant about it, especially since I, a respected archer of the elves, having been through 3 wars, screamed like I was 5 years old. I am not afraid to admit I did that, this dragon was as scary as could ever be.
Igneous laughed at my reaction and took me to his home to rest and eventually continue the interview.
"I would like to talk about that strange blade of yours." I said when I was ready to continue.
"Oh this? It's a scimitar made from dragon claws, the hilt made in it's bones. It's sharp enough to cut through and if necessary, I can flip it over to the blunt side, where you can see it's made from it's scales, and bash a dragon's brains in if the Dragonstomp doesn't work. I hope you understand now why the Toughening is necessary. I didn't like it either, but when I faced my first dragon, I was thankful for it. It was a fearsome fella, almost as big as the one just now. I wasn't strong enough to the Dragonstomp just yet either. I had to rely on my blade, my wits, and my agility. This blade is made from him, you know? I used my father's blade to kill my first dragon, and then got to craft my own blade with parts from my dragon. I crafted armor from him as well, but unlike my father, I prefer light armor so I used only the scales. The scales are light and very durable, very good for armor and blunt weapons. The bones are better of course but much heavier. The only thing I made with the bones was my helmet, which I made with my dragon's skull. The rest I still have, minus the meat of course, it being a delicacy and all."
After this I asked about the selecting process.
"I always liked the selecting process, even as a kid. I knew it was necessary because it showed what you're best for. I was determined to be a jack of all trades, by wife was determined to be a scientist, my brother was determined to be reserved for heavy labor and the toughest of dragons, his strength necessary to snap their spines. My wife has killed dragons, don't doubt that, but with science. I've always preferred a blade to a gun, but maybe that's because I like to impress. My wife was the one to invent dragon piercing bullets."
"Your wife is Julia Rosenfurg?" I exclaimed, shocked.
"Thought you'd recognize her just by that alone." He said, obviously very proud of his wife.
"She's currently working on a way for the body not to be destroyed as much by the bullet, but everyone knows that of course, I always thought it was fascinating the bullets were made from the bone and not the claw or fang. They're very expensive too as well. I'd say they improved conditions here immensely but yet the rate our people pop out newer and more effective ways to kill dragons, I can't. Just recently, my son, Nathaniel, discovered that certain breeds of dragons, such as the Faerieblaster, have their wings linked to their eyes. If you cut a dragon's eyes, it's just like cutting off their wings, but now we get all of the wing with half the work."
"You must be very proud of him."
"I certainly am."
I decided to talk to his son, and he was an impressive site for a 11 year old, already as tall as his father, and getting taller.
"Was the Toughening difficult?" I asked him for my first question.
"Not as tough as my first dragon. Without it, I would've died from the flames, or his claws, or just about anything really."
"And what are you crafting right now?"
"Oh, two rapiers. I made a Greatsword for my first weapon, this'll be my second and third, I designed them for speed and to pierce the dragon's scales straight into the heart, so they're going to be at least 4 feet. I'm about 7 feet tall, and our people are all very tall, compared to everyone else. The tallest ever was about 15 feet I believe, and was 9 feet by my age. He was a blacksmith mostly."
This is a clan of warriors, as I said before. A very respected clan with their only enemy being dragons. This is Frelia Delphox, bringing you the interesting and true stories of the unimensions.
At 7/24/14 04:43 PM, LDAF wrote: I've got a bunch of thoughts that I jotted down while reading, so here they are in their unorganized glory:
- When I saw the name John Williams, I immediately thought of the composer. Is that your real name, or was it for the story? If it's the latter, was the connection to the musician intentional?
- dialogue felt a little stiff in the beginning, but progressively got more natural
- also agree with Kofra that listing out characteristics like that tends to bring the story to a halt for a moment
- a couple minor grammar errors here and there
- the censorship seemed unnecessary, especially considering we're on Newgrounds
- I felt like this was a story that needed more than 2000 words, but I know that this was for the anthology, so I can't hold it against you
I'm not gonna lie, I think it's censored because I posted this on writerscafe and they censor the words on there and I just forgot to uncensor it. The grammar mistakes were meant to be there because this is a first person story and you have to put your mind in the character. I can't change the way he talks in my head so he's grammatically correct. This story definitely needed more than 2000 words and I'll probably rewrite it one day. Also, I have no idea who John Williams is. I just use the name because I was put on my friends pool pass awhile back and my name on it was John Williams. Any story that isn't supernatural in one way or another is done with John Williams here and Sarah....but Sarah not as much.
I also never saw the dialogue as stiff but that may be because John is a weirdo and naturally makes conversation stiff. I don't know but I'll do my best to correct that. I'll try out edging out the description or fleshing it out as necessary or something. It never occurred to me that way of describing but it'll definitely help.
Also I'm gonna check out John Williams.
That's the link for the story. I tried to figure out how to get it to fit in a document and this seemed the only way. Any advice on how to get this to work better if this isn't the best way is welcome.
Now I hope you enjoy, criticism is welcome, unless it's telling me I'm the worst writer ever or anything degrading like that, actual constructive criticism is welcome.
The whole roof explodes, instantaneously vaporizing the dragon and spelling in the air in stone fragments "Took you long enough".
I shake my head and look at Chelsea. Awe is on her face. I remember the first time I saw August do something like this.
"Let's go be a distraction Chelsea."
I begin to run.
I like this girl.
You like anyone with a decent pair of boobs Lilith.
I pull out my 'Giant Sword' Soulsalax and a pistol, set it to iron bullets, and charge, screaming "Long live the Red Queen!"
Skippity skippity do. Let's just get to that epic fight yeah!
150 guards armed with military grade weapons, 15 tanks and another dragon. Simple enough.
I plug in my headphones and put on Connect The Cuts.
"Fire!"
30 FAMAS'es firing at once. I smile and use Soulsalax as a shield, firing around the corner with my pistol Death, keeping Liberty away.
29. 28. 27. 26. 25.
"IFRIT ULTIMAGUS!"
I throw my weapons in the air and unleash a torrent of hellfire, vaporizing them. Then I frontflip, dodging a missile from a tank and catching my weapons.
I see Chelsea taking out the tank that just shot at me, and hear their screams of agony. I turn up my music. That dragon strength of hers is ridiculous.
I land on a jeep, and quicly shoot the driver, then jump off, slicing the jeep in half with a spinning slash.
Here comes August.
Driving like this is just a nice neighborhood, popping caps off coke bottles.
I missed August. Her ebony skin, that long blonde hair, those curves, her silky voice-
I get it, she's hot.
Sexy.
Get out of my head with that please.
"Hey Jacob, nice work. Whose the ginger?"
"Chelsea Triz, the daughter of Artemis? Didn't she-"
"Nope, don't care for her backstory. Can we go now or do we have to kill them all?"
"Surprised you killed any of them."
"Well the ginger as you put it is a psycho and these people have dragons out the ass. Wait why isn't anyone firing?"
I look at Chelsea to see her just looking innocent admidst the dead.
"Psycho, total fucking psycho."
"That's a nice bow and what's her sword made of?"
"Don't know, don't care, I want to be done with her."
"Well, this is a jeep."
I get in August's jeep.
"Where's Lilith at?"
Damn it.
My demon skin peels itself off and becomes a pale black haired bi-sexual with black eyes, black lips, and tiny but noticeable curves.
"Right here." she purrs.
Chelsea hops in as drive by.
"Whose these two?"
"I'm Lilith and this sexy thing is August."
"Stop it, you're embaressing me. Wait I just remembered, Jacob stand up and look at the prison."
"Why, what'd you do?"
I stand up and turn around and recieve a baseball in the nuts. I fall off the jeep in pain.
She stops the jeep and calmly walks up to me.
"That's for telling me there wouldn't be floor lasers in the bathroom."
"You lied and said you were betrayed."
"By you. You asshole."
"Still saved you."
"You're such a jerk."
"Hey guess what?"
"What?"
"Dick."
She kicks me in the face. I don't normally resort to such stupid things but in August's case it's always worth it.
Always.
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I hope you enjoyed this. Hope you got a lot of laughs.
You know, being a badass is cool and all, but being only 15, you learn it's better to take stress relief where you can get it. I'm not a chain smoker but a herd of dragons, a flock, I don't know but it's stressful.
Especially when your partner on this job is a psycho bitch who likes to kill everything in sight.
"Come on Jacob, we need their scales to make some cash!" she screams at me.
"Bitch, I got enough money, go do it yourself."
SMACK!
"Bitch, I will fucking feed you to a dragon if you don't focus on our job."
ROAR!
"I fucking hate you." I grumble as I dodge a dragon's flames.
"MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MOOONNNNNEEEEYYYYYY!"
I pull out my pistols and set them to dragon piercing. If I'm gonna be forced to kill dragons I'm gonna make sure she makes as little money as possible from this.
Some time later.
"Money money money money so much money."
"Alright you red headed blue eyed pre-teen psycho. I don't care if you can shoot that bow of yours through a bowl of cheerios, we are finishing this job. Understood?"
"My name is Chelsea you black haired green eyed goth wannabe badass. You have your pistols strapped to your shoulders handles in the air like an idiot. All you have is that giant sword strapped to your back, where's that katana of yours anyway Hidden in that giant trenchcoat?"
"Actually yes."
I rest Katayana's edge on her shoulder.
"How did you even pull it out?" the awe literally covering her voice.
"I'm a badass, I don't have to tell you."
I put her away and walk off.
"What's our job Chelsea?"
Silence. Of course.
"We are about to sneak into a prison to break out an important individual of the Unimensions. Her name is August Caeser. She was named that way because her mother once was the ruler of her native planet. Her mother changed her name to Julia Caeser. Kinda unoriginal but she had a good long rule until August ended it. I was there when it happened, it was fascinating. Girl has a way with math, able to pinpoint exactly where anything will land based on the strength, angle, and the surrounding area. She used that to end it with horrifying ease while she danced to Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows in front of the world."
"She later revealed who she was to the whole world and became a spy. A real good one. She gets paid to steal information from very secure. But she got caught. She says she was betrayed but I personally hacked the camera the camera that viewed her getting caught and saw that she decided to use the bathroom. Turns out this place has bathroom lasers. Genius."
"You watched her pee, what a pervert."
"No I didn't watch her-forget it, point is, we're sneaking in to rescue her. I brought you because I heard you have a way with animals and this place likes their bloodhounds. I don't feel like dogs catching me cause they smelled my sweat."
"Is that it over there, the prison?"
I looked over at what she was pointing out and it was indeed the prison.
Cement. 10 stories high. The windows are protected by lasers. They call these quick suicide. These people are on death row, but they choose when they die. Age or lasers, take your pick. There is literally a dragon nest on top of the place. The place is literally painted red with blood. There needs to be a third literally but I can't find it.
"Yup."
"So what's the plan?"
"August has been sneaking through the vents of this placing charges all over, but her detonator was broken. She needs us to set one off to set them all off."
"That's it?"
"We're also the distraction while she escapes."
"God damn it."
"No need to curse, we'll be fine."
"You're not the one who has to pick bullets out of their scales."
"It's not my fault you're the daughter of Artemis either."
"So why am I here if we're the distraction?"
"I don't like killing dogs."
She looks at me like I'm crazy.
"It's just a dog."
"Dogs, and you're a psycho."
"Hunters kill the hunted, deal with it."
"This is why I'm glad you're the only one of your kind."
"It's not my fault my-"
"Nope nope don't care for your backstory, moving along then. All we need to do is shoot a missile at the top right corner of the wall we're facing."
"How can you even know it's there?" she growls at me distinctly dragony.
"I don't. She just said it's in the top right. I assume she put one on each top right."
"We don't have missiles."
"You don't. I have an autoreloader which lets me shoot any kind of bullet I want without having to reload as long as I don't run out of bullets."
I turn it to mini missiles and fire once.
"Watch the magic happen."
4) My god, there are so many jokes about this question. I'ma go with my greatest strength being bowing down to my betters and my weakness being that I hate myself. No, in all seriousness my greatest strength would be romance and my greatest weakness fight scenes. When it comes to me and fight scenes it's either hit or miss. Sometimes they're and sometimes they're downright terrible.
I typed too fast and forgot a word and to quote that.
When it comes to me and fight scenes it's either hit or miss. Sometimes they're great and sometimes they're downright terrible.
Please quote this line in your reply.
1) Mip
2) I'm writing a novel right now but when I write short stories they're one of three things, somewhat poemy, funny with some action, or serious...esh. There's normally action in my stories.
3) All my stories are on writerscafe, and they are His Faults, The Shadow's Kingdom, The Tiger and The Raven, The Cloud Goddess, The False Devil, The Arrow That I Dodged Part 1 and 2, The Plague Known As Phenomenon Part 1 and 2, Atlas's Burden, Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These (This was inspired by the song and it still scares me for some unknown reason today), The Death Of A King, The Beginning Of Time, Stealing Is A Sin, and Scaring The Locals. I'm kinda proud of most of my writing but I'll always find faults in them but the ones I'm really proud of are The Tiger and The Raven, The Cloud Goddess, Stealing Is A Sin, and His Faults, still unfinished.
4) My god, there are so many jokes about this question. I'ma go with my greatest strength being bowing down to my betters and my weakness being that I hate myself. No, in all seriousness my greatest strength would be romance and my greatest weakness fight scenes. When it comes to me and fight scenes it's either hit or miss. Sometimes they're and sometimes they're downright terrible.
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All I wanted was to buy a burger. Then this guy comes in screaming at this group of demigods about he's gonna kill them and all that. My ears are already hurting so I just blast some peaceful music.
I walk up to the guy and say "What is the matter with you?"
"I am the god of blood and thunder and these kids just like you decided to disrespect me!"
The kids are shaking, probably afraid they're gonna die. Me, I'm just wondering what I'm gonna have to pay in damages at this resturant. Then he pulls a giant ax out of his spine. Literally, it was crazy. I was scarred by seeing his spine as the handle of his ax. It must've been worse for the kids seeing it. How old were they, 15. I'm only 14 but I've seen worse.
He swings it at me and as I dodge it I wonder what the blade of the ax is made of. It's weird, maybe it's one of those benefits of being a god.
After that he kicks me through the resturant wall.
And now we're to the present. And now I remember how I ended up stuck in a streetpole. Literally, I'm tangled in all these wires, and if I move a muscle I get shocked by 20000 volts of pure bullshit.
"You aren't so hard now are ya you stupid weak kid."
"Excuse me! I am Jacob fucking Deatrix and now I'm cutting your head up and sticking it up your ass!"
Jacob why don't you teleport out of the wires?
I forgot I could. These shocks made me forget.
Of course.
Shut up Lilith.
I teleport out of the pole and land a foot in the air in front of me and nearly trip.
Says the one who nearly cut off her own foot last time she helped out.
I run at this god of bliss and ignorance and kick him in the face, sending him through the otherside of the resturant. I run after him, whipping out my desert eagles and firing at him.
Thank god for autoreloaders. Never need to reload.
Click click.
You forgot to restock your bullet supply again, didn't you? You always forget to. Do you have any other bullets you can use or is that it?
Um, wooden bullets.
Just use sin.
Screw that, I'm just gonna whip out Soulsalax and chop him in half.
I pull out Soulsalax and jump in the air, stabbing him in the stomach while he's still in the air, my blade dragging through the road ruins it for a good 3 years.
More bills to pay.
His blood leaps at me and begins to choke me.
Idiot.
My demon skin leaps at the blood and drains him.
Thanks.
*This fight never happened, Jacob himself verified this, the man who wrote that fight is in jail for plagirism.
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I know it wasn't a good. It isn't supposed to be. It's a fight when he's still new at his life. His life is one that needs to be explored fully.
He isn't the only one.
As everyone knows, Death Has Wings.
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Okay first off, I know the fights crap. Didn't even try. I expect huge criticism on that, I really do. I just put that little joke at the end just because.
Second, if you somehow recognize this, I also have an account on writerscafe but I decided to put this story to see if I've improved or if I'll get another 4. I'm hoping I've improved. I wanted to write a mini biography through the eyes of a fan.
I think I succeeded.
I appreciate criticism and will probably write an actual real story soon enough.
Remember, your story might be written. So have an interesting life or at least be funny enough to be comic relief.
Welcome to the Unimensions (Universe of Dimensions). I'm your host, Mip. The Unimensions is everything ever put in it's own dimensions, and other things not yet written, movie'd, or tv'd. Literally. Every book, movie, and tv show is real in one dimension or another, with its own respecting solar systems and such and such. There are millions of theories on how these come to be documented or even made. My favorite is the Destiny theory.
You see Destiny was there from the beginning, recording everything. He will plant these stories into certain people's heads and we see what happens from that. This is the most popular theory, to the point to where many writers call themselves 'Destiny's Prophets'.
My personal favorite of these stories is about Jacob Deatrix, the ultimate badass. With his two black desert eagles Death and Liberty, his onyx katana Katayana, and his MGS (Motorcycle to Greatsword Morphblade) Soulsalax, he is an unstoppable force of death. Then of course, theres's his skill with most magics excluding illusion and summoning, he could never find a summon more powerful than he is already.
He has two conditions making him both stronger and weaker, as all good heroes do, and one super weakness easily exploited.
His super weakness is he's very susceptible to mind control. He was once forced to slaughter his close friends and his lover until someone discovered thanks to the man thinking no one would think to look at his room on the camera. After this being revealed and the man being killed, Jacob is now a lone wolf, who will kill any psychic if they so much as blink at him. He has spent millions trying to correct this weakness and has had only medium progress. If they aren't equal to Jean Grey's mind powers, and I mean when she isn't Phoenix, then you might as well not try, otherwise try not to be shot before you succeed.
Jacob's first condition is he's a Sin Angel, a human bonded with a devil via demon skin. The demon skin is like a tentacle which can drain blood faster than a vacuum can suck dust into it's bag. He needs blood or else he dies. Literally. It will begin to feed on Jacob's own blood and it's a hungry little guy. He can heal from literally any wound unless it was done by a weapon of innocence. Then he's fucked. He can channel his inner sin into a weapon, and due to the mind control episode (spoiler, he killed several children), he has the sin power equivalent of a nuke poisoned with Death's Touch with fire ants rubbed in. This weapon is mainly used as laser blasts from the hand, to teleport to places he's been before, a thing most Sin Angels can do, or to inflict wounds onto his enemies that won't kill them until he sheathes his katana. He can use it as his imagination wills it, but as smart as Jacob is, his imagination only lives within what he can do with what he has.
His second is that the more adrenaline in his system, he gets a general stat boost of...well a lot, and he keeps exactly 1.8% of said statboost. This means everything except size of course. What you expect him to have CENSORED.
Anyway, his weakness from this is his hearing, by 18, he may be able to have bullets from M16s bounce off his skin but his hearing is so high up a high pitched scream causes his brain to overload from the sounds he can hear within the sounds within the sounds within the sounds.
Luckily Jacob is also the Devil's Songstress. What is the Devil's Songstress?
I'm glad I asked myself that.
The Devil's Songstress is a songstress, male or female you sexists, that has natural musical ability and can use the musical energy to charge high powered spells. Most songstresses can naturally do this but what's different about these guys? First there can only be three. Why? Because you can't have 6:66, only 3:33. Second, they can summon demonic instruments, mainly just instruments made from various dead things and live things, like snake skin and medusa nose hairs or goat horns and dragon veins. They can even have the instruments play themselves.
They say a Devil's Songstress's voice is so amazing that if recorded, sounds like another great singers voice, especially if they are singing another artist's song. Which is most of the time cause if they create their own songs they have strange affects based on the lyrics. Jacob has a song that calls down meteors shaped like a goat crossed with a cross.
Thanks to this as long as Jacob has music in his ears, which is why he owns earbuds made from the veins of a golem made of onyx, Jacob won't pass out from noise. Also he can still hear through the music.
It is considered that Jacob is a descendant of the Deatrixian, a being that is power in all its forms incarnate. It has a ultimate rival who is known as Dephros. It is skill incarnate. The battles between these two beings are well known and established due to the evidence that can be found throughout the unimensions, including their descendants and the lack of 300 dimensions in the unimensions.
It's literally a large empty space between 2 dimensions. Like imagine the universe forever expanding. Then it gets stabbed and now there's this huge space everything has to grow around now.
Here is a excerpt from Jacob's life. Due to this being establishing Jacob as an ultimate badass, it will be a fight between him and a god. Seen through Jacob's mind, so it's written first person.
Select between 5 monster racers, upgrade your monster skill and win the competition!
4.23 / 5.00 3,881 Views
Build most powerful forces, unleash hordes of monster and control your soldiers!
3.93 / 5.00 4,634 Views
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