Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from his rectum while stalking stock prices; Gore then immediately engaged in crying for five years. Once he calmed down, there was a soothing roar from the bear, he roared, "Pineapples suck" to which the Korean committed Hara-kiri but failed, instead wounding Al Gore's young niece. So he pulled an anvil out, strapping it on.

Al Gore, weighed down, let the Korean stick a curtain up his neighbor's lamp shade. Suddenly, a gigantic teacup crashed onto Tom's home and a massive Spanish retard! The shards ripped a hole into China. A Chinese astrology monkey strapped on his suspenders and waltzed 500 sheep into a gigantic apple that had done Al a huge favor by spraying salt down his urethra. The trouble was that 2 cute immigrants had been puking rainbows. Hippies descended from rainbows to bring him sexy fish and shallow lemons. Al refused to make impregnated gnomes beg for kinky sex. He instead gave it chlamydia and a dick bun of extreme pleasure. Meanwhile, at Batman's house... Batman raped Al Gore's niece as Bangkok relocated into Robin's smelly underpants.

Due to unforeseen consequences all of City 17 residents' streetlights massively exploded and killed seven Mongoloids. Gordon Freeman masturbated furiously with sandpaper, unaware of his dicklessness effecting the entire human being over at Walmart's marijuana parade. So large, yet so insignificant was the marijuana's sea level. Gordon came on Alyx's sweaty and surprisingly swollen clitoris. "Fuck!" Exclaimed Gordon, because preggers stole his bike. So, Say Bike, the Indian chopper rider named Rig. Yet, nothing had happened. Naming Rig Fella Tio wasn't his telephone's breakdown but stabbing Chris Hansen pleased predators. Pedophiles rejoiced as Gary Brolsma randomly stopped typing love letters to his man-bitch called Steve.

"Who farted?", monotoned Mr. Moseby, as scriptures revealed the startling drop-bear plans tried to kill the foreigners doing absolutely nothing. "WHY MUST FRENCH PEOPLE DO NOTHING?!" Napoleon appeared bewildered and disgusted by his tortoise's Ichigo impression and proceeded to blow Charlie Sheen's huge, hot bloody wound. "Son of dicks!" cried Torterra realizing he cut his dick off depressingly. The stench of Chuck throwing monkey hairs into acid caused a violent stomach ulser in Electric Toothbrush, a woman who doesn't frequently stab gay zombie penicorns but decided to do horrible yoga in a kitchen cabinet. Babies were freaked, but they recovered as the condoms took over the world for Stalin, Josef Stalin. Now only Tom Fulp could 'enter' Sarah Palin's moist, warm microwave dick. Cooking babies and savory fried chicken as Mcain slapped hoes, Palin bit Charlie's knob, the door made of Cheetos and cheap plastic blow-up dolls and than danced wildly on Russia's homeless women.

"Hobos attacked her vagina" screamed Obama as he ran from his wife who was, silver dildo in hand, a bit horny of obsessive tickling. Unwarranted investigation and careful smuggling caused the Taliban to reassess penguin efficiency.

Then Dr. Fetus, along with his erect golf club, proceeded to go out to kill Michael Jackson and regurgitate old copies of naked fulp photos and then boil their nut-sack in oil so the Earth can never rotate around the giant package of crying babies causing the horrible apocalypse of bunnies and convenient chocolate-covered World War Seventeen. Unexpectedly, Phil Collins sucked Dick Van Dyke's Dirty Dishes. Weird monkeys were eating atop those crazy, zany, incarborated incubation pancakes which turd people didn't know how push pussy cats were diving from planes.

"9/11 is a big conspiracy", said Al Gore, while he PlatinumFalcon sucks Gordon Rhamsey's spatula with cum stained stick while he took a bath in Glenn Beck's mouth. The next day a toenail escaped prison and destroyed a whole galaxy with an erect tomato. Now our beloved hero is going home, with anal lube securely locked in a queef's soft embrace. When he opened the door of his home he saw 3,908 Explosions of crap and went upstairs. Who is this masked man? He gives a rock to Obama and says: "Your mother". How crass, I quipped. Surprise Buttsex destroyed the United States of America. Just then a giant non-American avocado filled the doorway half full

At 10/24/10 06:03 AM, tmkunt wrote:
----->find a human, do some life drawing

I really should get to that. When I'm not doing character sheet-esque drawings for concept characters. Maybe I'll do one later. Like soon later.

I've been going back and redoing some old drawings so I feel better about them. This is one I didn't finish or post here.

One would think that going on a field trip to an art museum would inspire some sort of artistic/creative feelings.

NOPE.

Because it is required to "analyze" paintings by listing off what common themes are in a painting, and being rushed through the museum itself, and seeing a solid black canvas being displayed as "art", I keep drawing blanks. I literally sit down to draw something, and I end up blank.

I'm serious about the black canvas. It wasn't a built up surface, there were no brush strokes, just a spray painted canvas. It was untitled, too.

I mean, come on. This shit doesn't even fly on the internet, how could it in the real world?

You know what rating this would get if it were submitted to the art portal?

BOLLOCKS.

Happy Birthday, Legolass.

At 11/10/10 05:41 AM, BizarroJoe wrote:
... GODDAMMIT, THIS IS NOT THE MODEL I REQUESTED.

Just when I thought there were lines that weren't possible to cross.

Wait, these are adult toys we're talking about. The line's I think are there never existed in the first place.

Had an airsoft war last weekend. First time, did pretty well.

I found out how undisciplined people can be, even when death isn't involved. Sure, an airsoft BB hurts, but as long as you're spraying them out at whoever's shooting you, it's worth it.

So me and a couple of people are holed up in a mock building; three stories, made up of stacked transportation containers. They ascend sort of like steps, except the only entrance is a set of stairs on the outside that goes to the second floor.

So we set up a great defense. I take the wooden covers off of the windows to use as cover, my friend opens a door behind some stairs and positions himself to shoot in between the stairs as the enemy comes in.

Then some dipshit on our team who was supposed to be with somebody else chickened out on his partner and pretty much just bitched at us.

I patrol around, continually reminding my way to tensed partner that he's covering the only way in, and they'll have to open the loud as fuck steel door to get in.

Once, I go outside, and see the enemy team stacked up on the stairs. I have a pissy ass single shot shotgun with an improvised magazine (Really fast shot velocity, though), so I take a shot and go back.

Of course, right when they're right where we can get them, Dipshit McPussy convinced my nervous partner to come up to the third floor, abandoning the perfect position he had. Other guys burst through the door, and we hole up on the third floor until we surrender. Fuck.

Of course, in another game, I kidnapped a person and used them as a human shield, since I didn't have a machine gun like half the people out there. Dipshit happens to be the guy behind the guy I nabbed, so when he's telling me to let him go, I pump my shotgun and give him a BB in the belly, and then ran my ass off. It felt so good.

So yeah.

At 11/4/10 04:03 PM, Havegum wrote: What if you at some point for some reason turn agnostic/atheist?

This, of course.

At 11/4/10 04:47 PM, esko-man wrote: Maybe add in a pot leaf, and Bowser from Super Mario Brothers playing an electric guitar...

Either that, or just base it off the fact that Bible quotes from the Old Testament are frequently pretty cool/violent.

You know, speaking of things that are boring but absolutely, or at least sort of, necessary...

I don't have instances where I'm drawing and don't like it, so this isn't about drawing.

I'm writing a novel. One who has taken any instruction in how to write essays or fiction knows that an outline is necessary. It gets thoughts together so that the ideas are confirmed and completed so you aren't making up shit on the spot so much.

I will tell you right now, writing a novel, that I hated writing the outline, mostly because I knew I was going to change things. It did, however, get my story together, and I would agree it was necessary.

Oh wait, this is the art lounge.

I just got back from a dance and dinner costume party that lasted till midnight.

I stopped being incredibly uncool and ugly for about six five and a half hours. Oh well.

I dressed up today. Or rather, since it's past midnight, yesterday. Guess who.

Yeah, I know I have the Skyward Sword look going there, and the leather's scrounged from around the house. The boots, however, are killer.

NO YOU DON'T SEE MY FAIC

At 10/23/10 09:34 PM, Lintire wrote: Anyway, I would suggest trying out different poses - dynamic, whatever, just trying to put your character in different, more interesting positions then just standing stoically with their feet planted firmly on the floor.

Yeah, that.

I've actually done things other than conceptual character depiction, but the thing is that I usually don't like them, so I don't post them.

I guess this one's reasonable by my terms. It refused to scan right.

Some stupid scenery.

Concept.

The legs look odd to me.

Also, what is its sex?

Meh, it's been some time. Might as well upload some semi new and old shit.

This guy's silhouette sort of tapers.

At 10/22/10 08:22 PM, Lintire wrote: But I didn't know that Picasso was such a mediocre painter

Picasso =/= mediocre painter.

If you don't like cubism, he has other pieces right up the traditional alley.

At 10/22/10 06:52 PM, Kosuk wrote: Isnt mostly of the women Picasso Painted/Drawn prostitutes? : o
or am I totaly wrong? o :

Most of the women any famous artists painted were prostitutes, or wives/mistresses.

At 10/21/10 04:46 PM, Re2deemer wrote:

And the deadline was tomorrow, FFFFUUUU

Solution: use acrylics.

I know, that's not really a solution, considering either A, you are more experienced and comfortable with watercolor, B, watercolors is the assignment, or C, both of these reasons.

The Guardian Tower takes out its feelings against the planet, since its mother always told it never to lash out at people.

This ought to shake things up.

OR RATHER, BLOW THINGS UP. DUHR.

At 10/14/10 08:11 PM, AROSOFTHEDESERT wrote:
The shading was done with the burn tool,

Okay.

Don't shade with dodge and burn. It isn't precise; using the brush/pencil lets one been precise. Dodge and burn puts those weird spots in places where one shades with it; you don't get that problem with a solid brush (the same thing happens with low opacity brush strokes; if you're going to use that, you have to be very careful).

Also, blurring looks bad, unless it's so small that nobody can tell it's a blur anyway. It mixes up the color in a non-coordinated way; bad for when you want your shading accurate. It takes longer to pick at the corners with the brush, but it looks better than blur.

At 10/12/10 07:02 PM, Zetseriel wrote: Shes from another world

Speaking of things from other places.

CLOCK TOWER HAS WOKEN UP WITH A MILD HANGOVER.

CLOCK TOWER IS PREPARING TO CHARGE.

I was looking around a small museum. Saw a little exhibit on amusement parks that didn't last long on the meager Georgia coastline

Then I saw this.

I thought it might be a dog, but I sure as hell knew it was anything but.

Research is required on this creature. Any artistic depictions will help the studies of this thing that cannot be named.

In other words, creative inspiration.

I went to the dentist and got the best two fillings I've ever gotten. No odd feelings or dull pains.

Then I went home and tried to drink some root beer after a couple of hours.

The right side of my mouth failed to respond and I spit root beer all over myself.

Fucking Novocaine.

fff

A Guardian Tower from another dimension appears.

It doesn't seem very awake right now.

It's also pretty big. Really big.

Catreuse is taking a cat nap right now. Helping to reduce the world to rubble has tired him out a bit.

DONGS

At 10/2/10 01:28 PM, BizarroJoe wrote:
NEXT!

THE ALL AMERICAN WAY.

Awesome. Thanks.

A parachuting Guile kicking a terrorist in the face.

IT'S GO TIME.

In case you didn't already know.

My Advanced Painting teacher told the class to make a postmodernist painting.

None of us knew what the hell it was. From the sound of it, I thought correctly that it was a style in the same way that kingdom Monera is single cellular.

It was. The teacher loosened the definition to "painting on a built up canvas", and it had to be "nonobjective".

All the nonobjective IRL painting I've seen is indiscernible shit. I didn't like that, so I did this and got told that although this was postmodern, it was too objective.

So I took this home, not really finished (I didn't paint under the tongue) and did something else.

Boo.

Send out your Freakomonster, dipshit.

Every Freakomonster trainer knows that their Freakomonster only gets stronger if it fights.

Cripes, you could batter down the walls of Jericho with those knockers.

Anyway, her right hand (our left) doesn't look quite right; I'm not quite sure how, but it doesn't seem to be clutching the wall or resting on it. I dunno.

Other than that, I couldn't see anything that couldn't be later self-explained away with perceptive and such. Nice job thar.

1st piece finished.

"The Stretchy Cat KaFuckle"

At 9/26/10 03:51 PM, J-qb wrote:

At 9/26/10 03:49 PM, Luxembourg wrote: Zubat is a pokemon you typically just run away from.

They have higher speed than geodude. thus harder to run away from.

Zubat and Geodude in the caves or Pidgey and Rattata in the grass?

At least Zubat and Geodude are worth catching. Pigeot is probably the worst third stage evolution in the entire series.