Haha, funny.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre:
1) Don't pick up hitchhikers / people walking on the side of the road.
2) Don't drink the soup.
3) Don't explore random old back-country house
4) Don't help the cripple stand up.
5) Watch where you run, dumbass.
6) Just don't even stop your car in the middle of nowhere.
7) Just run over the bikers.
Freddy, Jason, Halloween
1) Just get a gun, their melee weapons wont do much...
Alien
1) Don't go in space.
Silent Hill
1) Don't go to Silent Hill
2) Don't disturb Pyramid Head while he's raping a nurse.