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:..... you're proof read, and opinion, it's fair.

P.S.

I know my "GUMS" is not up to par, but thanks for letting me know.

Sorry for double posting, but disregard you're right there. I know it's incorrect.

At 8/6/10 12:14 PM, JohnEndel959 wrote:

At 8/6/10 07:43 AM, evil-gohan wrote: What Happens by Brandon Gottschling (evil-gohan)

What happens when your world is ashen
No longer teeming with life, but smoldering remains
Broken people wandering, hearts filled with pain
They yearn for the things which they cannot obtain
Looking to the skies for the sun, and receiving rain

What happens when you've all, but lost hope
You feel death on your shadows, and you're still fighting
But in your heart you know it to be true
There is no one to die with you
Hoping, that the place where suffering ends is real, hoping

What happens when your alone
Do you look unto shadows in your mind for guidance
Or do you grasp your new reality
Losing all remembrance of humanity
Melding with new horizons which are none

What happens when your cold, dying or old
Do you know when to bid higher, or fold
Is your thoughts filled with regret
What will you say with your dying breath
Everyone that loves you is going to forget
But in your heart you know it to be true

Ok, well. The grammar is pretty abysmal. The whole comma-coordinating conjunction thing is only used to connect two independent clauses, you misused that alot. "Your" is possessive, "You're" is you are. "Thoughts" is plural, so it is "Are your thoughts filled with regret?" In the last line, I would think it should be "And in your heart you know it to be true, because that conveys a better sense of despair. Have you even taken 7th grade grammar yet? If I don't proofread something, it might have a few errors, but just knowing the rules should have made you avoid such obvious mistakes. As for the poem itself, I didn't love it, probably because it's hard to concentrate with all the errors just staring at you, but I don't know. It seemed very wordy and inconsistent.

endel..... nevermind, you're!!!! one of those people. Yeah i realize the errors, but poetry my man, to me it is something to express yourself, and I find that grammar doesn't even matter, but since YOU'RE one of those people, I'll fix it just for you. With that put aside, I do however appreciate you're proof read, and opinion, it's fair.

P.S.

I know my "GUMS" is not up to par, but thanks for letting me know.

Brandon Gottschling

I hate all this racist
Name calling, Smack Talking
Race card pulling bullshit
Why dont you motherfuckers just quit
You say you got game, but afraid to hit
It doesn't matter much when you bleed the same
Brothers against Brothers, gettin' mamed
Wake the fuck up, Its all Insane
Try and feel your brother's pain
Whether it be in sun, sleet, or rain
Just like you, he's got a name

Throw It all away
Look to the future
A civil world the maintain
Stop the hate, spread the love, and end the pain

Do like this, be righteous
live, love, and learn together
create something new to treasure
Change the world forever
Probably wont ever happen
You know, world piece thought out on a napkin
Think It like this, If we're on the same side
Fightin' eachother, hatin' eachother, we'll never win
Its all for not if we all die, when we coulda reached the very end

So let's not pretend, be it foe or friend
Maybe we could try to end the trend
Life is precious, its a God send
Don't throw it away, think about tomorrow, not just today
Sit back and think about your life
Havin' no respect, is it worth the price?
Is your honour somthing you will sacrafice?
To make an invalid point,
to say you the man
Weather your white black asian or tan
Judge a man by his heart and not by his skin
Make a good example you can show to your kin

A man stepped out onto his porch, watching a naked Korean man golf with Al Gore while dancing on a pogo stick. The man took a progressive leap to the dinner table and broke his enormous pen shaped plastic instrument, and Gore screamed out, "BP's fault." Unaware of the bear eating from his rectum while stalking stock prices; Gore then immediately engaged in crying for five years. Once he calmed down, there was a soothing roar from the bear, he roared, "Pineapples suck" to which the Korean committed Hara-kiri but failed, instead wounding Al Gore's young niece. So he pulled an anvil out, strapping it on.

Al Gore, weighed down, let the Korean stick a curtain up his neighbor's lamp shade. Suddenly, a gigantic teacup crashed onto Tom's home and a massive Spanish retard! The shards ripped a hole into China. A Chinese astrology monkey strapped on his suspenders and waltzed 500 sheep into a gigantic apple that had done Al a huge favor by spraying salt down his urethra. The trouble was that 2 cute immigrants had been puking rainbows. Hippies descended from rainbows to bring him sexy fish and shallow lemons. Al refused to make impregnated gnomes beg for kinky sex. He instead gave it chlamydia and a dick bun of extreme pleasure. Meanwhile, at Batman's house... Batman raped Al Gore's niece as Bangkok relocated into Robin's smelly underpants.

Due to unforeseen consequences all of City 17 residents' streetlights massively exploded and killed seven Mongoloids. Gordon Freeman masturbated furiously with sandpaper, unaware of his dicklessness effecting the entire human being over at Walmart's marijuana parade. So large, yet so insignificant was the marijuana's sea level. Gordon came on Alyx's sweaty and surprisingly swollen clitoris. "Fuck!" Exclaimed Gordon, because preggers stole his bike. So, Say Bike, the Indian chopper rider named Rig. Yet, nothing had happened. Naming Rig Fella Tio wasn't his telephone's breakdown but stabbing Chris Hansen pleased predators. Pedophiles rejoiced as Gary Brolsma randomly stopped typing love letters to his man-bitch called Steve.

"Who farted?", monotoned Mr. Moseby, as scriptures revealed the startling drop-bear plans tried to kill the foreigners doing absolutely nothing. "WHY MUST FRENCH PEOPLE DO NOTHING?!" Napoleon appeared bewildered and disgusted by his tortoise's Ichigo impression and proceeded to blow Charlie Sheen's huge, hot bloody wound. "Son of dicks!" cried Torterra realizing he cut his dick off depressingly. The stench of Chuck throwing monkey hairs into acid caused a violent stomach ulser in Electric Toothbrush, a woman who doesn't frequently stab gay zombie penicorns but decided to do horrible yoga in a kitchen cabinet. Babies were freaked, but they recovered as the condoms took over the world for Stalin, Josef Stalin. Now only Tom Fulp could 'enter' Sarah Palin's moist, warm microwave dick. Cooking babies and savory fried chicken as Mcain slapped hoes, Palin bit Charlie's knob, the door made of Cheetos and cheap plastic blow-up dolls and than danced wildly on Russia's homeless women.

"Hobos attacked her vagina" screamed Obama as he ran from his wife who was, silver dildo in hand, a bit horny of obsessive tickling. Unwarranted investigation and careful smuggling caused the Taliban to reassess penguin efficiency.

Then Dr. Fetus, along with his erect golf club, proceeded to go out to kill Michael Jackson and regurgitate old copies of naked fulp photos and then boil their nut-sack in

What Happens by Brandon Gottschling (evil-gohan)

What happens when your world is ashen
No longer teeming with life, but smoldering remains
Broken people wandering, hearts filled with pain
They yearn for the things which they cannot obtain
Looking to the skies for the sun, and receiving rain

What happens when you've all, but lost hope
You feel death on your shadows, and you're still fighting
But in your heart you know it to be true
There is no one to die with you
Hoping, that the place where suffering ends is real, hoping

What happens when your alone
Do you look unto shadows in your mind for guidance
Or do you grasp your new reality
Losing all remembrance of humanity
Melding with new horizons which are none

What happens when your cold, dying or old
Do you know when to bid higher, or fold
Is your thoughts filled with regret
What will you say with your dying breath
Everyone that loves you is going to forget
But in your heart you know it to be true

so......its actually 09...cuz i am pretty sure thats what the collection is under and the calender says it too soooo...im gunna have to side with thor on this one its 09

ok cool, thanks a lot guys for the info..ill upload and see what happens :D

thanks

Liberated by nal1200 with {Runaway} by DaGrahamCracka and i needed to make sure it was okay with them that i upload it on NG...or does it matter?

wow......thanks everyone that really helped...... -_- so yea i guess the sex thing will be a cock going through a heart like an arrow and then confetti flys out............but yea thank you all very much for the advice on what to do........i mean it wasnt the question I asked but thanks. When im finished ill upload to the portal and let you guys check it out...

Hey guys Im making a flash animation for my GirlFriend and I havnt an idea to do can some one help me think of something to do for her..... that would be great thanks...

ill be your buddy....and i finished this short can you tell me if its any good? ill send it to you.

so your saying do the rough version then go back and touch them up frame by frame?

yea i use onion skin, im not retarded. but so use the line tool? i wish i had a video of some one doing it. lol i learn in a strange way.

that would be much appreciated

Hey, when i make my stick figure animations they are never the same size when they are going so they will be walking around and changing sizes. I noticed that alot of peoples stick animations dont do that they stay the same size through out the video. Such as Terkoiz.

P.S. I've checked out alot of tuts but found nuthing very useful.

i suck so bad i tried useing slide show my spelling sucks to