At 8/1/08 06:10 PM, valium9 wrote: did teachers not stop you?
Ah, smells of bullshit anyway, but nicely written
They did stop us. Read the last paragraph.
Look at him. He is the president of Russia. He was a KGB agent, probably privy to all sorts of Soviet secrets and a master of combat, armed and unarmed. A good four-fifths of his people approve of his performance. He looks, acts, and even sounds like a Bond villain. He could beat any head-of-state in the world in an arm-wrestling match. He hunts bears in his free time. He is manly enough to turn the pope gay. He's got a genius-level IQ. He's Vladimir Putin, the epitome of all human achievement.
Not only is he failing horribly at doing James Rolfe's bit, but he also has terrible taste in video games, humor, and can't edit videos for shit.
Plus there are two move videos just like it.
At 4/17/08 07:22 PM, ThePhrozenPhoenix wrote:
What I've noticed is that other than Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on my door handing out pamphlets, I've never come across a person in public who has forced their religion on me.
Listen to some local radio. It's kind of scary sometimes.
None because I can't vote.
And neither can you.
At 4/16/08 10:26 PM, Viewtiful-Chris wrote:
PMOG sends one email, and one email only.
No spam. No updates. No kidding.
But Newgrounders may not.
Bah I'll just PM you my email.
At 4/16/08 10:19 PM, Viewtiful-Chris wrote:
I don't invite people who don't intend putting in their real emails.
And I don't ever spam emails. I hardly even use email.
I mean it's an email account I use just for signing up for things, to lighten the spam load on my real email.
spam away, it's not my real email
At 4/16/08 09:54 PM, CryogenChaos wrote:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
You do NOT sully the Able Sister's business with your smut!
Make me.
I think I remember reading about this school in Scotland that did that very thing back in the 1600s or something like that. Let me look it up...
Damn I love Animal Crossing.
This is just asking to become a flame war about Iraq.
At 4/16/08 07:52 PM, Phsyco-Mantis wrote:
That is an illusion of the mind.
NEXT!
All feelings, good or bad, artificially produced or genuine, are in fact "illusions of the mind." And even if they weren't, reality is objective, meaning that to a single person, there is no reality beyond what they comprehend, so if smoking feels good to them, I have no objection to it.
Besides, it's a personal choice whether or not you smoke. Certainly it's a bad habit, but if someone chooses to wreck their body that way, why should you care?
4chan got to this a while ago. Now all it does is spout memes. Nothing to see here.
You drinkers are all bringing up the whole "rights" bull shit when you're cornered and trapped whenever we bring up the debate whether or not it's right or wrong to smoke.
There are many fucking reasons why drinking is bad. Name me ONE good thing about ALCOHOL you FUCKING RETARDS.
For one thing, alcohol causes liver failure DURR. And if you drink, LITTLE KIDS WHO LOOK UP TO YOU AND PEOPLE AROUND YOU WILL DRINK TOO.
Actually, that's peer pressure. Yes, you poison your and your friends/family. Now, it's your right to do whatever, but if you read the fine print, you cannot bring harm to you or other people's body. Guess what drinking does? DURRRR.
Fucking retards, the sooner you all wrap your cars around trees, the better.
How about childrens books that would be rejected in America?
I wouldn't do a thing if they were just doing weed. I'd be disappointed, sure, but really I think it's bad but not has harmful as people make it out to be. If they were DEALING it, however, that's another story. No kid of mine would be involved with gangs. Turn 'em in.
I LOVE SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK
ROCKIN AND A ROLLIN SPLISHIN AND A SPLASHIN OVER THE HORIZON WHAT CAN IT BE?
May 28, 2008
The Large Hadron Collider, on its maiden run, resonance cascades. In what would later be known as the "CERN Incident," the resonance cascade destroys the CERN facility and creatures from the border world Xen are transported to CERN and begin slaughtering the researchers there. The military was brought in to cover up the incident. In the guise of rescuing the staff of the facility, the military kills off most of the scientists. Few escape.
In the aftermath, a portal storm occurs across Earth. Our planet comes to the attention of the aggressive Universal Union, the aggressive alien empire also known as the Combine. In less than seven hours, the invaders crush the combined military might of every nation on Earth and enslave the population and begin draining the planet's resources. Biologically altered humans serve to keep regular humans in line and a field that prevents human reproduction is set up around the planet.
The age of humanity is over.
At 3/25/08 09:30 PM, Geohunter wrote:
Would have been nice to have been warned, asshole. i'm on the family computer with my parents 3 feet away. Seriously, what happened to not linking to pornagraphic material without a clear warninig?
The URL has "mario hentai" in it. What were you expecting?
He drinks his favorite beverage, milk. Unfortunately, all the milk cartons in the Mushoom Kingdom are manufactured for use by weak little Toads, and Bowser's firm grip often breaks the carton. It's tragic, really.
At 12/6/07 12:30 AM, AngryBanana wrote: I actually laughed at the end.
I'm sure you didn't write that, though.
You're correct.
Calvin lay there in bed, next to his tiger. His fourteenth birthday was tomorrow. He was getting older, puberty striking at his mind, voice, and body. He kissed Hobbes on the cheek, puling him closer and thanking him for being his friend.
Then it happened. It had been happening often since he was thirteen and he had no control over it. His erection tented his boxers, pressing against his friend's rump.
"Stop.." Hobbes mumbled with a growl, pushing him away.
Calvin turned onto his back, pulling his under shorts down and revealing his standing pillar, about five inches. Average, he figured.
He shook Hobbes awake. He didn't wake easily and grumbled and growled, but eventually sat up. "What, Calvin?" He asked angrily, wanting very much to go back to sleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too.." Hobbes said awkwardly. 'What is this about?' He wondered.
"Do you really love me?"
"Yeah, why?" Hobbes sat up further, sleep forgotten.
"I want to mate with you.." Calvin blushed.
"Wait! What?"
"I love you so much, I want to show you how much I love you, how much I appreciate how you've cared for me over the years, and been there for me. Now I want to be there for you."
Hobbes looked perplexed, he stared at Calvin, and then at the corner of his eye, there he saw it, Calvin's standing erection, dead toward his face. He knew instantly.
"Oh..."
There was a pause, for a moment they did nothing but lay there, Calvin staring hungerly toward Hobbes' beautiful fuzzy face as he in turn looked directly at Calvin's smooth young cock. A feeling stirred inside of Hobbes that he'd never felt before, not even through all of the years they had been friends. He bit his lower lip.
"Calvin, I.."
"Please, just kiss me."
"I-"
"Please, just once. If you don't like it, I'll never bring it up again. Just once, please, for me."
Hobbes was silent, but then slowly replied.
"Okay. For you."
Calvin's hand reached up behind Hobbes' whiskered, furry neck, and slowly drew their faces closer to each other. His lips parted softly and a soft moaning emanated from them, anticipating the taste of his friends wet tiger mouth to come.
Hobbes resisted, but that only made Calvin pull him in harder. Their lips met sideways, mouths open, their labored breaths mixing with each others.
Calvin pulled away slightly as they fully contacted with each other.
"Oh, Hobbes. Hobbes..."
A wave of sensation filled Hobbes' entire body, every muscle quaked with a shock of pure pleasure, his body melted, his lips quivered as they moved wet and hot against his friends'. With each passing of their tongues, he became more ravenous. More hungry. More like a tiger. He suddenly pulled away, his claws extended, accidentally scratching Calvin across the cheek.
"Oh god, Calvin. I, fuck."
"Just let it come to you, old buddy."
"Fuck, I.. Fuck me."
"What?"
"I said fuck me. Fuck me now"
"Turn over."
Hobbes immediately and excitedly turned over onto his stomach, his ass facing toward Calvin, the muscles of his tail causing it to lift high in the air, exposing the bright pink, smooth asshole that poked through the fuzz of his tiger-cheeks. He moaned in soft anticipation. He was afraid Calvin's mother might hear.
"FUCK ME. PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WAIT."
Hobbes was nearly crying, as Calvin's hesitation was like a thousand stabs to his heart. He felt like his world was tearing apart, lest his old childhood friend fucked him in the ass, right then and there.
"Sure thing, buddy." Calvin grasped the base of his cock, touching the top to the base of Hobbes' bright pink asshole.
From the depths of Hobbes' throat came a mighty roar like that which had never been witnessed, as Calvin's hard, 13 year old cock slid roughly into the depths of his ass. Calvin's hips began to jerk, he felt the warmth of his friend's insides, he was fucking Hobbes in the ass. He knew this, but he just couldn't believe it. But he always came back to that warmth, and it shocked him back to the pleasure of his present reality.
"OH GOD" Hobbes roared out, his English words were barely intelligible through his native animal tongue. Calvin pumped faster, harder, deeper into his tiger's asshole, feeling the warm, wet suction as it pumped in and out. Hobbes' asshole began to bleed, and it only made Calvin hornier.
"Oh God, oh Jesus. I love you, Hobbes. I love you."
"I love you too. Oh God I do."
Calvin's thrusting was so frantic, that neither had any room for words after so many minutes. They simply fell into the pleasure, into the depth of the feeling. Two friends, deeply rooted in fun and adventure, in the science of box transmogrify, time travel, Film Noir, it all came rushing to them. Calvin thought back on so many memories he'd had with this dear cherished friend, and came back to the moment at hand, and he realized that all of those beautiful moments finally had a focal point. He finally got what he wanted. He finally was making love to Hobbes. He continued to thrust, unthinking, until Hobbes turned, stared into his eyes.
"Remember the time your house was robbed while you were away on vacation? When I was in the house? Oh god, I was so scared. I thought I would never see you again. I wanted to tell you so many things. That night, god, I wanted you to make love to me. I thought I would never have you again. Please come. Come in me like I always wanted you to that night. COME IN ME"
Calvin's penis contracted in 5 spasms that shook the very depths of Hobbes' small, tight ass. He filled Hobbes to his stomach with his loving cum. He filled his ass. And he filled both of their hearts.
"GOD I FUCKING LOVE YOU. OH GOD."
"I LOVE YOU TOO. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH."
They screamed to the heavens, these two, best friends, becoming one.
But they were cut short by a sudden noise.
Calvin's mother came rushing into his room, her robe barely tied, her feet tripping up over themselves as she clumsily made her way to him in the dark. She flicked on the light.
There, she saw her son, completely naked, hands gripped tightly over the waist of a stuffed tiger, his penis half way inside of a hole torn out of the stuffing of its backside. The stuffing from Hobbes' insides littered the sheets and the lower part of Calvin's body.
"Are you, oh my god."
The next morning, Calvin's mother told his father what had happened, after recovering from the shock, and Calvin's father spent the day beating the shit out of him, Calvin was broken almost to the very edge of his life. And when it was over, and Calvin was able to recover and see out of one eye, he made Calvin watch him as he shoved his stuffed tiger, Hobbes, his best friend in the whole world, the love of his life, into a wood chipper. Calvin cried, but his dad just backhanded him and told him to go finish his homework.
The next day, Calvin's parents scheduled him to permanently see a psychiatrist.
3 years later, Calvin shot himself in the face.
Tom will get right on Pico 2 once he's finished with Duke Nukem Forever.
There's virtually no region of the male body more sensitive than the prostate. It's the male equivalent of a G-Spot. Sex toys are excellent for reaching it, but it's nothing you can't do yourself with a single finger. Before thinking anyone that fingers their ass is gay, try it yourself. Or, if you're not willing to do this, you can try it the hard way...
1) Penis up against you, underside of the shaft exposed. Otherwise you're just crushing your balls like an idiot.
2) Form your hand like you are punching down a yeast dough. The heel must be prominent.
3) Probe around with your knuckles to find the spot. It can be anywhere from the taint to the place where your scrotum and shaft meet. You'll know when you find it. Seriously.
4) Make sure you have a towel or something available. Very important, as this gets MESSY.
5) Resting your knuckles on your testes, apply pressure at the spot you found earlier. You might need to search around again. You will know.
6) HOLD YOUR PALM IN PLACE, GOD DAMN IT. You will want to move it or something, but will that thing to stay in place. Stay reclined or your hand will move off of the spot.
Don't bother trying to watch porn through it the first time, you won't see anything.
In one-hundred-fifty degree heat being perpetually raped by a gang of enormous wild dogs.
At 9/6/07 05:51 PM, LordZeebmork wrote:At 9/6/07 05:48 PM, Teh-David wrote:Any besides the really small low-quality ones?At 9/6/07 05:46 PM, LordZeebmork wrote: 3. I don't think that even /b/ has found them yet.1. They are.
2. I saw them.
3. Underpants.
Also http://img.7chan.org/b/src/118910559897.
jpg
nsfw, etc
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