www.cremationproductions.com

uMM K -

Eggy55555@hotmail.com

can help with flash....but NOT hell nooby questions

At 12/29/06 02:38 AM, Xragon wrote: Why on earth would they be keeping a PS2 in a place of bussiness anyways?

You should be shot.

At 12/29/06 12:49 AM, Radiactive wrote: These stories are fucking leaving me in awe.

; KEEP'EM COMING!

Sure then :)

Truth

Not much of a funny story as its just a fact. Lots of people come up to me and say something isn't on the shelf, can you check out the back, I say there isn't any out the back, and yet they insist i go check and actually get mad that maybe i havn't seen them. I've been told....but because customers wont fricken listen i go out back,

What do I do?

I stand there for 30seconds....look at the ceiling...look at the ground...dum dum

Go back and tell them, ahh yeah sorry none left.

Straight or Curly

Some guy comes up to me and asks where is the pasta, so I show him -

Me : Here you go
Guy : Ahh thanks, umm, hmm i've never had pasta before, My wife is making me come get some.

This guy is like 30ish.......how could oyu not have had pasta by 30?!??!?

Me : Umm geez
Guy : Which tastes better the curly or the straight
Me : .........yeah im pretty sure they taste the same
Guy : but they look different
Me : well...yeah ...

He sits there in thought as i slowly get away....I was not going to sit there and debate that something will taste the same even if its different shapes....jesus fucken christ.

At 12/28/06 11:15 PM, EternalRabbit wrote: too long... and even more boring!

Offer your own stories then.

Haha nice one guys, got a chuckle out of them. How can that lady be so stupid to try use a piece of paper. Anyways I got 2 more written up.

Kid...

I was on my break and I walk into the sweets section and theres one kid there that stops and looks at me and he has a big jacket on. I don't really care I just keep looking at the lollies, then a packet of lollies drops out of his jacket onto the ground....I look at it.....I look at him.....He has the most horror on his face....then he goes

"IM NOT DOING ANYTHING"

and throws all the stuff in his jacket on the ground and bolts.......I stare blankly for a second then burst out laughing. Later on he came through my checkout with his mum, the amount of fear in his eyes that I was gonna tell his mum was making him keep making eye contact with me. I didn't do anything of course, it was just too funny to watch it all, i was trying to stop myself laughing.

No, i'm not a idiot

The amount of people that try get lower prices is inceredible, the biggest - MUMS!! god mums in a supermarket looking for bargains....it sucks. They'll stare intently at the screen with every "reduced" item they have, and like 1 milli second after i scan it they go "THATS REDUCED THATS REDUCED" ......I tell them I have to scan it before changing the price and they still do it...

People will give me the right amount of money, then demand I give them change when they didn't have any, and they'll argue for ages just to try get $5.

Cheap

One lady had 1 thing, a loaf of bread that scanned at $1.20...

Lady : NO THAT WAS $1
Me : Hmm it doesn't appear to have a reduced tag...soo
Lady : No, it was defently a $1
Me : I'll get someone to check then..

I ring up, they check and it indeed was $1.20, she is "disgusted" at the price and saids she doesn't want it and demands I give it to her for free for wasting her time. My brain had many things to say but I just looked her in the eye and said....

"No."

She shakes her head, and storms off....mumbling how "incompetent" our store is.

The following are short stories of people I have served while working at Coles (For you americans its a supermarket). Either on checkout or in grocery. You won't believe how fucking stupid people can be and get on your nerves.

WARNING The following contains....lots of swearing, and abuse. Also thanks to the mcdonalds thread not long ago that gave me the idea to start writing up all my stories. These are off the top off my head at the moment. I'll write more later.

--Too Expensive--

One lady through my checkout had a total of about 5 things. Something scans at 77c. Instantly she is outraged and demands that the price was 76c. I stare blankly at her for a second thinking she must be joking. She didn't take kindly to my look. It must have have clearly shown.....What the fuck is wrong with you.

Me : Oh...ahh...are you sure?
Woman : Of course i'm bloody sure, IT WAS 76c!
Me : Ok, i'll get someone to check it.

Now who the fuck winges about 1c, she had 3 of the item, so granted...it was....an extra 3c, rounded up to 5c. I would have thrown her 10c and said "Keep the change bitch" if I wasn't scared she'd probably dob me into the manager.

So the grocery assistant comes back and...indeed she was right, so i change the amount, all the time not saying much and she looks at me and saids "WELL I HAVE 2 KIDS TO FEED, EVERY CENT COUNTS"

Yeah, luckily she checked the price or they woulda' fucken starved for a week.

--Tampons--

This happened to the "guy" next to me while we were presentating shelfs.

Woman : Excuse me, do you know if these tampons are any good?
Work Guy : Errrrrrrrrr...............I honestly woudn't know........
Woman : Oh ok then.

I looked at him and burst out laughing.

--No, YOU DO IT-

So it's near easter and this lady puts a fair bit of shopping up.

Woman : Do you have any wrapping paper?
Me : Yeah just there at the service desk

First i'll explain i'm on the checkout RIGHT next to the service desk, like literally 1 metre away.

Woman : Could you get someone to get it for me please
Me : Ahh its right there, you could just quickly reach---
Woman : NO I SAID FOR YOU TO GET SOMEONE! NOW RING SOMEONE UP ON THAT PHONE
Me : Sure..

I'm just dumbstruck, it's 1 metre away YOU LAZY BITCH! seriously what the fuck is wrong with you. You can cart your lazy fat ass through the shops to get your shopping...but not reach 1 metre??! are you fucking serious.

So yes I call someone up to get it....the person who gets the wrapping paper gives me a strange look like im the idiot...yeah well fuck you too.

And after we finally pay for it everything she saids

Woman : Goodbye
Me : ...
Woman : I SAID GOODBYE
Me : OK
Woman : WELL
Me : Yes, Goodbye *turn around*

she gives me a dirty look as if she can't beleive I did that.....err grow up lazy bitch?

--Things that make me wonder-- This list will be constanly updated.

1. A grandma calling me a nice young looking man
2. Woman buying condoms, lube and 1 banana.
3. Why the store has "orange crush" and "crush orange"
4. A girl asking if I was 13
5. Someone buying $300 worth of chocolate
6. People that winge about me packing carefully then throwing there bag into the trolley

--Grapes > Cheese--

I was Putting someones trolley through checkout when i got to putting a slab of cheese on the bottom of the bag then placing the grapes on top, sounds fine? nope.

Woman : WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!
Me : Err..packing?
Woman : Don't put grapes on cheese it will crush the cheese!!
Me : Uhhh..oh....sorry...

How can grapes crush cheese?!! HOW HOW I ASK, i'm seriously losing faith in humanity every day, AND she leaves giving me a look that saids i'm an idiot....great...

Thats all i've written up so far, more to come :)

Ages ago I made a layout for my site in Flash but changed too HTML. Anyways I thought if anyone would like to buy it then i'm happy to sell it, it's nothing too fancy but can be easily modified, but simple for the price. I'll start with $15, and if anyone else bids it will raise ect. I'll only be selling to one person

You MUST have Paypal.

Old Layout
Slightly Upgraded Layout

Post here or Add me on MSN > Eggy55555@hotmail.com

At 12/27/06 09:13 PM, TrueDarkness wrote: I love how your entries say they were submitted in august, september, novemeber, and december, all in that free trial.

A conundrem indeed...

Wow at this thread :S I have to agree with most of what Johnny said, like as soon as AS3 is fully released companies are going to want people skilled in it quickly to beat other companies. They would want to get the edge as soon as possible, so if you could grab the opertunity to get a job from it then good on ya.

Learn whatever programming language you want as long as you want to learn it. I mean some people learn chinese and never go to china. If your only doing it to get a job in then you should be doing more research on how good you need to get and where jobs are available.

I program on movieclips.....AS3 not friendly for me :( but I can always learn when i can bebothered and just stick with flash 8 for a while.

Once 9 comes out i doubt we'll see anything revoltionary made for aggges.

He's wrote so much awesome stuff, give him a break geez. Even the best stars can't be the best all the time.

At 12/25/06 07:07 PM, PelvicThrusters wrote:

At 12/25/06 06:48 PM, IThinkImDrunk wrote: No its varied..

I like avril lavgine,

That's just horrible.

That's like going into a thread about someone saying they had a cheerleader fetish and saying "I can only fuck if it's a shit covered midget who hasn't shaved in a month"

Agreed.

I was never told it was real :/ ....aethist blood heh

At 12/26/06 07:36 AM, Mad-Nimmy wrote: I lived in india for about 7 months (omg it sux)

And I just realized that it's exactly like an MMORPG

Almost everyone beg for money (omg noob beggers)

There are many tourists there who are new to india (omg NEWBIES)

And some people there got 11 fingers :O (omg HAX)

Wow...you just proved it with them solid facts...

At 12/26/06 10:41 AM, Dropkicked wrote: Here. Take it.

THANKS :) nice message ;p

At 12/26/06 10:25 AM, magicwalnut wrote: is a video of me also ok?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcTIFX9vzso

wtf

At 12/26/06 08:35 AM, Fim wrote: well, converted to GIF "quality".

Thanks....lol.Your heads gotta be in it tho jeez

I don't mean to self promote my own game :S but try this, i havnt had someone try it with a tablet yet >

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/343513

I always have it open on my latest flash im working on....i keep trying to will myself to do more...but keep dazing off into dreams listening to music.

Found this really cool thing made with AS3 and bitmap data, it's so snazzy, thought you's might like to have a look >

http://recycle.andre-michelle.com/as3/beta3/b itmap.particles/

is there a link to the game?

He's too crappy to photoshop....doesn't look like much will happen to him.

Err who the hell is doom... -_-

2) President David Palmer - I mean; how many times has someone tried to kill this man? And he hasn't even said thanks to Jack Bauer for saving his ass? That's why they finally killed him off. I'm glad I voted for John Keeler.

I loled.

Meh....lame.

I didn't want to be on your stupid list anyways.... :(

You can in our town :)

That wasnt short!! YOU LIAR!

Christmas....sucks.

You win at eating dick.

Everyones Sigs are pretty cool :) i always read them.... :S