I don't mind supid ass texts so much, but what I can't stay is being telephoned by automated voice messages saying "We have a message for you, please don't hang up." SLAM.

Jive ass mother fuckers.

At 11/26/09 04:30 PM, Piss wrote:

At 11/26/09 04:14 PM, SCUD14 wrote: I eat pain for breakfast.

You eat bread for breakfast?

That is actually funny.

You surprise me, sir. *tips hat*

I have a flowery dress and little cardigan that I sometimes wear to parties.

I'm a bloke btw, you slaaaag!

At 11/20/09 07:23 PM, vishnunamboodiripad wrote: >:(

AAAH Twilight grossed 26.4 mil $... when I was in elementary school and I've read every book. I really ... great. I give it 4. Not terrible though, but ... the craze, I hate the buzz.
WHY?WHY?
Stupid teenage girls my age reading crap books >:(.

Ahh lad. Don't worry, you're just stupidly fixated on something that is lame and shouldn't actually affect your life in any way. But don't worry, they can't do this to you, and if they do, don't worry about it .

At 11/20/09 07:25 PM, KittyKat87 wrote: And we care because....?

You lame bastard. I love, AND hate you.

At 11/20/09 07:27 PM, vishnunamboodiripad wrote: wouldn't you care if a generation of teenage girls are into reading mediocrity and all you want is for people to read books that are actually good because you respect books and movies as god forms of medium that should not be wasted on such things?

No.

At 11/13/09 11:45 PM, iBagel wrote:

At 11/13/09 11:45 PM, Effsix wrote:

At 11/13/09 11:44 PM, iBagel wrote: No. Screw you.

I like your moxy, kid- you get the job. How does 950 sound?

About right.

Good, good. I'll see that Penny gets your details.

Here's me as Voldemort on the release of the last potter book, gf & I were entertaining the queue at Ipswich Waterstones. I was swinging green glowstick poi up the street for special magic effect, kids didn't realise that they're fast moving hard objects so they advanced on me. I had to retreat the sticks and clocked myself in the face. I wasn't nearly as drunk as I should have been, an evening like that requires the courage. Fella next to me was the first in line guy. My 1st ebay purchase was two white swimming caps, one for the scalp and one for the nose-flattener. I swing mighty fine poi, my specialty being the behind-the-back-backwards-weave.

At 11/13/09 11:44 PM, Spite wrote:

At 11/13/09 11:39 PM, Effsix wrote:

At 11/13/09 11:36 PM, Spite wrote: [10:30:12 P.m.] Tom Fulp: FUCK ALL YALL N*****S!

My, you're an offensive waster tonight. Break your fingers, or break your computer, or both.

ah c'mon buddy, lighten up a bit

Calling everyone n********** and muthafuckas for zero reason is deserving of royal ribbing, so take it.

In the ribs.

At 11/13/09 11:54 PM, Andersson wrote: Not only have you the mind to make this fantastic discovery, but it has come to my understanding that you also have fresh cookies?

Tsh, don't encourage him. He'll live longer.

At 11/13/09 11:47 PM, zombiebunny wrote: Scored three dvds for $55.

Bucks for fucks, if you rent them out you are technically pimping.

Fuckbuster (the porn equivalent of Blockbuster) will be ramming meat rods down your throat if you stray too close to their turf, so watch it.

Topic starter- this is your mother speaking. I hate you, I wish I'd never squeezed you out. I should have insisted that your father and I used a rubber, but I didn't believe that a child could be such a disappointment.

I hate you...

At 11/13/09 11:44 PM, iBagel wrote: No. Screw you.

I like your moxy, kid- you get the job. How does 950 sound?

At 11/13/09 10:56 PM, Chemich wrote: Bumping a topic that actually matters on the BBS not filled with horrendous grammar and pointlessness.

Bumping a topic by saying "bumping a topic" is one of the shittest things you can do in your life.

If I was your family I would distance myselves from you. I wouldn't even call you at christmas. I'd take all the famly photos and cut your face from them. I'd keep the faces, then glue them to toilets.

At 11/13/09 11:36 PM, Spite wrote: [10:30:12 P.m.] Tom Fulp: FUCK ALL YALL N*****S!

My, you're an offensive waster tonight. Break your fingers, or break your computer, or both.

I'm not having another discussion about what is real and what isn't, please add your story to the wall list offiction then spend some time studying your chart.

At 11/13/09 12:28 AM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: You see gentlemen,

Yes, because I can see.

through my extensive studies, I have discovered that blind people are not in fact unable to see. They are actually able to see all too well. They live without seeing because they simply see through everything.

What if you're blind because you actually have no eyes? That would mean that they'd be able to see really well through nothing. But at least that's something.

And surely X ray vision would only help you see "X"s everywhere.

Pirates would keep you prisoner, using you as a gimpy guide to help them find treasure spots.

Receiving comments suggests that someone cares, or at least will take the time to read what you've said and insult you.

Blogging prick! Bleurgh! Bleurgh!

Even though each lady would be able to save herself and one other, I'd feel more comfortable if I could carry my own safety device cleverly hidden in my clothes. I don't think gas mask pants would work so well, but they would make your farts smell less.

At 9/12/09 06:57 PM, bgraybr wrote: Has anyone seen ... ...he says "in these tough times, you can mop up drinks, wring them into the cup, and its ready to drink again... ...does anyone find this weird?

Yes, that is weird. But! Was it worth buying? I could do with a mop that has extra-spungents and soak-up-magic=tendrils."

At 9/12/09 06:28 PM, andale524 wrote: thats is so funny - lol

maybe you should try googleing it for help

I was gonna say what he said, so I thought I'd quote him. You don't need (metal works) help, you need (brainy time) think help. This looks like a special pun topic, that justifies its existence by inspiring chatter.

Yeah, everyone who entered this topic was like "oh my god! bondage!"

The bum sarnie reigns supreme! Ye!

At 9/12/09 06:24 PM, Conspiracy3 wrote: When you eat rotten milk (cheese) it's delicious. When you drink rotten grapes (wine) it's high class. When you drink rotten sugar cane (rum) it's acceptable. When I eat rotting corpses that I dig up from a graveyard it's disgusting?

I don't understand our society. SO MUCH FUCKING HYPOCRISY!!!!

You are funny, and an acute observationalist- so I say "Something that has expired may be alright to eat, but somebody is not."

At 9/12/09 06:27 PM, Davidson13 wrote: Just one of the few animals that i would totally hug.

I know it's majestic, but it's got a really big hairy arse. Imagine if you hugged it, you'd cup his fat hairy arse. And fondle it.

Imagine that.

I thought you were having a go at sticker art that is available in foreign countries, like some sort of stationery racist.

At 9/9/09 06:07 AM, MasterJarri wrote: OH FUCKASS. I'm going to wring somebody's fucking testicles. I cracked my $1,850 microwave. This... is fucking shit.

How does a microwave cost that much? Are you talking Zimbabwean dollars of something, because microwaves should only cost a couple of hundred quid at most (and the door should only crack on a cheapy one anyway).

I'm not a dedicated achievement hunter (because I like wine and smoking and cartoons) but I am willing to submit my puny human efforts to the board-

It be - "Effsix London"

Cos some punk ass jive turkey nicked my user name, same as on youtube. Bastard.

At 9/8/09 05:32 PM, dmansland wrote: Doesn't the sound for achievement sound slightly different than the sound for a friend?

Doesn't own 360

I'm sorry to say that it is the same sound, and our brains are being toyed with. The little animated alert prompt (as flashy as it is) even looks the same.

I wonder, I why why wonder, if and who has the user name "Achievement: Not Unlocked" to emphasise this disappointment. Someone who really hates their friends.

'Twould be a good username.

At 9/8/09 04:25 PM, DaBumfaceShadowz wrote: just give me the damn avatars mother fuckers!

What a Bumface!

Imagine, if you will- a face that is not a face, but a bum. Now imagine DaBumfaceShadowz chump is posting on newgrounds.

What would his parents say?

Thank you, Mr TheShoe for correctly directing me nyar.

You know when you're playing xbox and you've done somehing amazing and bloody, then you hear that bleepy bleep and you think "great! achievement!" then it turns out to be a friend signing in.

That wasn't a question, you know what I mean. I don't like this system where you hear a noise and are offered the rush of endorphins that are associated with a skillful shot or genocide, then are quickly given disappointment instead like some experiment that is designed to make you unhappy that your friends are present.

Does anyone else see this noise based monkey trick being played on us by microsoft?

Can anyone else hear them laughing?

You know when you're playing xbox and you've done somehing amazing and bloody, then you hear that bleepy bleep and you think "great! achievement!" then it turns out to be a friend signing in.

That wasn't a question, you know what I mean. I don't like this system where you hear a noise and are offered the rush of endorphins that are associated with a skillful shot or genocide, then are quickly given disappointment instead like some experiment that is designed to make you unhappy that your friends are present.

Does anyone else see this noise based monkey trick being played on us by microsoft?

Can anyone else hear them laughing?

Have you ever put your toothbrush in your bum?

Yes you have, in the shower. Your inner dialogue reads as "hey, i'm in the shower, so it must be clean!"

Yeah, great name for a program. Chuck every stereotype in there, because that is what we want.

I'm glad you like programming that everyone else hates, because there's so much of it. You lucky boy.

At 9/8/09 04:11 PM, DaShadowz wrote: i find it hard to remember peoples names, on other forums i jsut match the avatars to the posts, but it's vary hard witht hese stupid preset avatars that i fail to understand.

bottom line

I WANT COSTUM AVATARS! MAKE IT HAPPEN BASTARDS!

You find it hard to remember names? Then they're not your friends and will most likely call you Bumface.

Heh, you remember Bumface? Yeah, what a bumface. He couldn't remeber sheeeeiiit.