LazyPint aka queer beer along with Blackops seem to be well up for a wee binge.

For some reason the Kosh of arranging it has dropped atop my head so here we go.

Does anyone fancies getting some pintage in Glasgows City Centre at some point soon?

Give dates that suit, no underagers. The last one was paid for entirely by me....not entirely sure what the logic behind that was but who fucking knows, might end up being another freebie dependant upon how pished I am from the night before. I'll buy your first pint at least.

I reckon the sooner the better to avoid the crimbo rush. The usual venue to begin with - The Counting House just at the corner of Georges Square and Queen street- then we can head elsewhere as needs dictate. Anyone that suggest Bennets isn't welcome.

How about say Thursday the 10th December. At around 13:00, bring ID if you look young.

To end this illustrious thread I would like to declare that Lazypint is both a giver and a taker.

At 11/25/09 01:33 PM, BioEthanol wrote: Someone has been watching Tv Burp. I loved the lion man episode of that. TV Burp is hilarious.

I despise Harry Hill. But I just lufff lil lion cubs.

At 11/26/09 12:51 PM, TheMaster wrote: Clash of the Titans was only good because of Ray Harryhausen's ace stop motion. As awesome as Liam Neeson playing God is, I can't see it working with CGI.

Yeah, CGI will just cheapen it as contradictory as that sounds.

I wonder if they are also going to compact what was a fairly long and relatively complicated plot into a condensed 90 minute retardfest.

At 11/26/09 12:33 PM, EpicFail wrote: Your brother is an idiot, and he gives stoners a bad name.

I dont recall them ever having a good name to tarnish, all a bunch of retards to me.

The Medusa from the old film used to scare the shite out of me as a nipper......literally scare the shite out of me..........I would evacuate my bowels at that particular point of the film.

It got so bad my parentals banned me from watching it when they bought a new carpet in the living room.

At 11/25/09 12:46 PM, Fim wrote: On the one hand he's done some classic music, but on the other hand I do remember reading a review of his show recently and apparently he is a shadow of his former self on stage, and can not deliver to his usual standards anymore.

I don't think its unreasonable that he no longer walks on the stage stabs himself and then runs into the audience windmilling in an attempt to cover the maximum number of people with his blood....also with his cock hanging out.

At 11/25/09 12:12 PM, MickTheChampion wrote:

Ha, i'll fit in more than you ya rotten big hun. You're about as punk as Boris Johnson!

Mods Mods!!! He's using a derogatory term towards member of the protestant comunity!!

Pfft Boris Johnson, I fucking well wish. Just look at the hip dyanmo in his latest chart topping sensation.

At 11/25/09 12:12 PM, MickTheChampion wrote:

Ha, i'll fit in more than you ya rotten big hun. You're about as punk as Boris Johnson!

Mods Mods!!! He's using a derogatory term towards member of the protestant comunity!!

Pfft Boris Johnson, I fucking well wish. Just look at the hip dyanmo in his latest chart topping sensation.

He's a fucking legend, I dont really give two fucks if he sold out later in life. I just assume he was skint and needed an extra wad to keep him going.

I will ensure I am home for that concert.

I don't think your kind are welcome though Mick.

Doing all he can To create a sanctuary and a home.

From the depths of southern Africa, The big cats - they have come. Delivered from extinction, To a new life in the sun. One man on a mission, To one's hopes and dream on hand. He gathered up the mighty beasts, And brought them to our land.

He's a lion man! Doing all he can To create a sanctuary and a home.

Man, I fucking love the Lion Man, its the greatest TV show since the original series of Knightrider. I just love looking at all those wee baby lions and tigers, they are so cute I could just eat them all up! So here is the recipe I prepared for them...one day i'll get one...

Dice the Baby Lion/Tiger meat into 2-3cm cubes and leave to soak in milk for 8 hours, this will rmeove any bitterness from the meat and ensure it stays nice and tender, from experience cat meat can dry out very easily.

Meanwhile fry off 2 diced onion in some olive oil along with 1 clove of garlic, a tsp of Cumin, Ground Coriander and 2 birds eye chillis which will give off a nice heat. Once you have fried off the onions add the Cubed Baby Lion/Tiger meat and brown it in the pan adding a decent pinch of pepper and salt. Once the meat has been browned add some Beef stock and tomato paste, reduce the heat and leave to simmer for about an hour. Before serving add a generous amount of fresh coriander leave. Serve with mashed tatties or saffron rice.

BTW Craig Busch beat his girlfriend :D , I think he was merely enforcing his role as the dominant male of the pack.

As much as I have a ever certain disliking to gingers I would never kick one of them. As I would then have to bin my shoes to avoid getting any gingerness on me.

At 11/24/09 08:17 AM, jarrydn wrote: I, Cuntscrape.

Are you a gynecologist or something?

I, want you Kangaroo rapists to take Peter Andre back.

At 11/23/09 10:20 AM, Magyar wrote: Seacow and shark are greatest mismatch in history

BTW is that fake or did a seacow actually attempt to rape a shark?

I signed off a ship in Kingston and I recall it being one of the most poverty stricken places I've ever seen. Shanty towns as far as the eye can see and a distinct lack of dreadlocks because all the slum dwellers had to shave their heads because of head lice.

The machete salesman who set up shop by the roads are a wonder to behold as are the corrugated mansions. The corruption was rife and the place kinda had a funk smell about it. Like the smell you get in a block of flats around dinner time when the smell of everyones food fills the hallways.

A true sign of a place wasted by poverty is the value of the local currency, I believe the paper the Jamiacan dollars was prnted on had less value than toilet paper in the UK. Also the frequent power cuts were a nuisance, especially when I was in the airport waiting for my flights.

On the other hand I purchased the finest Jerk Chicken marinade in the world. Ive been jerking chickens ever since.

Warm showers provoke masturbation, hence why I have ice cold showers.

At 11/23/09 10:22 AM, Makakaov wrote: You really don't know why commando didn't get oscars? Beacuse it was crapp! Good movies ahould have good dialogues, great fitting action, good title, nice choice of actors, good characterisation, nice music, good film crew to record this ofc, good scenario, good shoots. Commando didn't have good shoots, and imo it had lots of bad things. Real good action movie should be dynamic, have lots of good humour, use good props, have good fitting actors and have good story. Commando didn't have.

"I eat green beres or Breakfast"
"I'll be back, Cardigan* (I didn't catch the actual name)"e box
Those one liners are among the most witty the world has ever known and definitely ticks the right box in terms of dialogue.

Great fitting action you say? He carries out a 1 man onslaught on an entire army, he kills about 50 dudes with a single nade and even takes out snipers while firing from the hip with a big arsed machine gun of sorts. If thats not fitting action for a film named Commando then Im the Queen of France!

The music is also highly fitting for the film with lots of those drums they used in the 80s that "DOODOO DOODOO TSH!"

Commando had awesome shots, like when the dude is totally standing on the wheels of a moving plane. If thats not an awesome shot then I'm a reincarnation of Queen Cleopatra queef!

The Commando is a Real good action movie as it is among other things dynamic, has lots of good humour, uses good props, has good fitting actors and a really compelling and emotional storyline that reached out and touched the very depth of my soul..

Well I was watching "Commando" the other day. Probably the greatest of all the war films.

But two things have left me utterly perplexed by it:

1. How come it didn't win all the oscars when it was released.

2, What was with the big scary evil arnie equivalent?

If you've seen the film, which I assume you all must have by now what with it being the fucking tits, Then you will know what im talking about. You have Arnie, steroid bound muscular grotesque playing role of super commando in which he comes against his nemesiswho you'd think would be an equally steroid bidden muscular grotesque. Yet instead his arch rival is a fat freddy mercury lookalike named Bennett - The same name as Glasgows premium gay bar.

The Fat Freddy even manages to hold his own in fisticuffs with arnie which is a baffling feat when you consider he is an aids bidden fatty with as much muscular definition as the withered remains of Michael Jackson.

View the fight here
sooo "gum over and find out"

They always pick cases in which they get compensation even though the "victim" was a bit of a dithering cunt. My favourite is the guy that drills the side of a house on
"I was actually given the wrong type of ladder"
I'd say he can't have been taking reasonable care if he knew he had the wrong ladder but still ascended it and commenced using powertools.

The alternative being that he didnt know it was the wrong type of ladder because the dithering cunt wasn't really qualified to do the job. Maybe he needs and HNC in ladder types and use of.....

Although she got 8K I wonder how much the National Accident Helpline raked in.

Rugby is also an endurance sport in which all members of both teams are constantly in motion. In Football (soccer for cheeseburger rapists) players have set positions and in American Football play lasts for around 20 seconds per play after which the teams change over so they can get their mommies to kiss their boo boos and make them hot cocoa.

Its indisputable that the physical conditioning of Rugby players is far superior to that of Football and Yankee Football players.

The only surprising thing about this is the reaction this thread is getting. Anyone that doesnt expect such arrogant and queer stupidity from Gaddafi must be really out of touch.

The excessively long and retarded speech he made at the UN council was more amusing in my opinion.

With his son declaring the families of the victims of the lockerbie bomb as "greedy" we surely have a lot more of this hilarity to look forward to.

At 11/21/09 07:14 AM, Lost-Wisdom wrote:

Though it's funny that water can be expensive these days.

Bottled water is very often more expensive than milk.

Well im not going to get my daily dose of volcanicity from Tap water!

Where the fuck else can I get my necessary volcanicity? Not by dangling my balls over a BBQ, thats for sure!

At 11/20/09 12:34 PM, Peaceblossom wrote:

At 11/20/09 12:33 PM, Diddy wrote:

At 11/20/09 12:27 PM, Peaceblossom wrote: No. Nobody drinks on Thursdays, you fucking alcoholic.

Up you. I'm a student. Every day is a Saturday

That's even worse. I'm also a student, and I'm not even going out tonight because I need to be doing an assignment tomorrow morning before I work. You're probably taking some joke major that your parents are paying for, aren't you?

Pfffft what sort of student does an assignment on a saturday morning??? In saying that when I was a student the only time I didnt go out and binge was on the weekend but that was only because prices are hiked up. I followed a strict weekly itinerary. Sunday through to Thursday evening was binge nights Friday and Saturday were dedicated to personal reflection.

At 11/20/09 10:17 AM, DarkSytze wrote: why do i never get hangovers? :(

Because you never drink alcoholic beverages?

Yes, but only whenever I feel like it.

A wee story comes to mind regarding this.

There was a Glaswegian girl whos husband was based in Germany with the army. She and a friend were in a shopping mall with their children when the Glaswegian girls son started throwing a tantrum. Quick as a flash she had the wee blighter over her knee and gave him a good skelping. Suddenly a German lady ran over flabergasted saying
"You cannot hit your child, we do not do that in Germany!"
Quick as a flash the weedgie girl replies
"Well in Scotland we do hit our children, but we dont gas our Jews"

True story.

At 11/20/09 11:27 AM, greatwh1teshark wrote: If you move to the UK, keep to the south, that population of the UK is nicer.

Apart from the Homeless people who all tend to be from the North East of Scotland for some reason. I suspect the local polis up north are after them so they kept on trucking south until they came across water.

When i lived in Southampton I had to avoid speaking in the presence of the Homeless because I would suddenly be their best mate on account of a mutual accent.
"Awright, fancie ge'in us some change fae a bottle"
...sigh

At 11/20/09 06:09 AM, Makakaov wrote:
All hobo haters should be hanged.

Amen.

I love satire.

At 11/19/09 03:21 PM, Luxury-Yacht wrote:

At 11/18/09 07:33 AM, DingoTheDog wrote:

Then you should hate the system, not the people the system affects. What, do you think that the desperately poor control welfare legislation? The system is at fault here.

I think the system is based on good principles. Sadly the people that use the system have tendancies to be the sort of scum who seem to have this chip on their shoulder and feel they are somehow owed something. I hate those that abuse and manipulate the system to get more than they deserve. Be it people who dedicate their lives to avoiding work and living off the system, people who lie about their circumstances by say claiming for disability or not declaring their live in boyfriends income.

Things are changing now and there is a lot of people who are honestly trying to find work but struggling due to the recession.

Yes, and a lot more people have become poor or homeless due to the economic circumstances. They used to have jobs and such, but they lost it all. There's no reason to hate them.

You pretty much just expanded on what I just said. I don't hate the honest folks.

At 11/18/09 11:09 PM, Zerok wrote: female empowerment.

LOL!!!!