Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 5/30/10 12:08 AM, Gagsy wrote: LadyStardust.

Hands down.

Or tits down

Gagsy.

Last time she yanked her tits out, there was a damn eclipse.

As The Shattered Souls Lie Dying...

wait, that's more death metal than emo.

What? Now that's just stupid.

picture related.

At 5/28/10 11:06 PM, CrankyMcGregor wrote: Hey thats pretty neat, congrats friend!

Wow, nice joke. You're as funny as a manic-depressive clown.

At 5/28/10 07:40 AM, xKiRiLLx wrote: I fucking can't stand these browsers. IE is the best

The film reel snapped here for me.

Probably outside, or playing on the PC.

Life would be a little bit boring. They shut down UncoverReality, too...

Barwell said police haven't analyzed the feces, but "the running belief" is that it's human.

My Pun Meter is beepin' here.

At 5/28/10 09:43 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote:

At 5/28/10 08:12 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: With regret in my soul, I say that my dog,

You wouldn't care that much if this was your mother, wouldn't you?

That was 12 years ago. I got over it.

At 5/28/10 09:11 PM, LazyPint wrote: It's weird.

This animal we own with it's limited understanding of the world but it's unquestioning love/loyalty to the people that feed/walk it, means more to us than all the words about starving children in Africa.

That is because we see in a dog what we see in ourselves less and less: A being that shows no greed, no jealousy, no corruption.
The dog you feed will not trade the food for weapons, nor will it use it to procure marine vessels and pirate merchant ships, nor will it use anything we give it in the ways the criminals and scum of today do. The dog will not kill another dog for unjustified reasons. The dog will not betray you if someone offers him money. The dog has a purity of spirit that we are losing, clinging to it by the skin of our teeth, desperate to preserve it but not doing enough to change ourselves.

The people in Africa - or more precisely, their governments - can use all the money that we, good Samaritans, dump into their countries' pockets to make life better. Instead, they buy themselves gold, jets, mansions and luxury vehicles. Because they see fit to do so. Because they know that the good USA and the fellows at UN will send them more money, which they will further use to fatten their bank accounts, expand their vehicle collections, and generally not give a damn for the millions of people who are starving in the country.

Evolution has not come by to deliver the dog the gift of an advanced brain and, with it, the cognition that we have achieved. But once it does - if it does - there is no saying if they will not use their newly-found abilities to manipulate their surroundings as they see fit. Sometimes, simplicity is the key to innocence. The more complicated a being's thoughts become, the more it will perceive, the more it will analyze, and the more it will understand about its world and how it works. More complex does not always mean better, because this mental complexity brings forth ideologies and beliefs that, even though are violent and deviant, are considered to be "the right way to do thing" by the persons who thought them out, and will be carried out with no regards for others if their creators ever obtain a position of power (see Hitler, Stalin, Sarloth Sar, Mao Zedong, Jiang Qing, Nicolae Ceausescu).

Maybe that's why we consider dogs to be such unique beings. They are our antidote, curing us of everyday poisons.

At 5/27/10 11:27 PM, HizuPlague wrote: More info: The only classes I really found useful was driver's ed, typing class, and learning to read and write when I was in fucking elementary. That's it.

Alright then, stick with those.

Who needs education when you can flip burgers for a living?

A beautiful dog, and a best friend.

With regret in my soul, I say that my dog, Tara, passed from this world.

We got her 12 years ago, when she was just 3 year old, abandoned by a hunter who didn't need her. She was a unique dog: peaceful, loving, loyal, determined and tenacious. I couldn't have possibly asked for more, and most certainly this world would not have been able to provide no better friend and companion as Tara was. Every walk was a joy, and every moment at home was full of attention and fun. Never did she fail to impress us with her love and infinite energy, and she charmed everyone who met her.
However, time does not stop for anyone, and age shows its signs. Even the unstoppable determination of the freest soul cannot resist the decay of our mortal vessels. Muscles weaken, senses falter, and you become vulnerable and fragile. She had many illnesses, most of which she fought off.. She lost an eye, broke a leg, suffered from Cushing's... but in the end, she just couldn't fight anymore. For the last year, I've carried her, in my arms, up and down the stairs, because her legs were too weak to help her up the stairs. She could walk, but she couldn't climb. I kept her comfortable when she was scared, I kept her warm when she was cold; she was always free to do as she pleased, no limitations at all; and we both benefited enormously our unique relationship of love and friendship. She was the reason I'd smile when coming home from school, she was the reason I'd smile when sitting at the TV, she made me - us happy just by being there.

She was 15. She died on a warm, sunny May day, surrounded by her family. We were there, I was there for her, as I promised her I'd be whenever I could.

The vets come in their black van, solemn yet cold. It's their job to end lives, so they can't start getting sentimental with you - it's not "professional". They smile comfortingly for a second, shuffle in silently. Open their kits, ask us to sign some papers, give some information about Tara. They ask us to sit by her as they proceed with their job.
It's such a simple and straightforward procedure, yet your heart is ripped apart by anguish and pain, each passing second stabbing another cold dagger in your soul.
In half an hour, all the preparation steps are done.

I try to fight back the sorrow and the rage, and to maintain your composure. It is excruciatingly hard, to keep yourself from not breaking down. In the end, I give her a hug, a final kiss on the nose, I thank her for making my life happy, and I take 5 minutes to just silently vent out my feelings, my head on the pillow, next to hers...

Death, though, comes in less than 10 seconds. It is calm and uneventful, as she falls asleep first because of the anesthetics. Then her heart beats slower and slower... and she is gone.

We pay our final respects. Then, they take her to incinerate her and return us her ashes into a funeral urn. A beautiful dog, a paragon of energy and love, now encased in a cold and lifeless ceramic urn.

The black van becomes the ghostly ferry, forlornly drifting away.
The road melts, becoming the deathly-still waters of the Styx.
They become Charon.

And I am left only with memories, the photos in the album, and a cold, black emptiness in my soul. I come home and it is empty, devoid of any happiness. Tara is here no more, sitting on the couch, looking at the door, waiting there for me. The hazel eye that radiated love and care is now closed and plunged into darkness. The house is silent, as the leash with the little cat bell is now lying on the table. I wake up in the morning, and she is not here.
I will never, for my whole life, forget you, Tara. You were there for us, providing us with interminable love and loyalty, making our days happy and warm. I will be here for you, as I promised you long ago, making sure no one will forget you. Every morning, every night, every moment of the day, I will keep you in my heart, remembering you as the best friend I ever had, have, and will have. And maybe, one day, we'll go for a walk in the big dog park in the sky...

~ Rest In Peace ~ 1997 - 2010 ~

At 5/28/10 12:40 PM, joseph9631 wrote: Has anyone bought one? how is it?

Does this clarify the situation?

That's sad, man... Gary was a good guy, I liked his sense of humor.

R.I.P Gary Coleman

At 5/28/10 03:48 PM, Acid-Paradox wrote:

At 5/28/10 03:47 PM, formulario wrote: Well the mayans just got Sick of making a big ass calendar so they stopped
End of story.

Indeed

Hahah, I love the Bizarro series.

Oh, I thought you meant Twilight.

At 5/27/10 06:42 PM, Mikay wrote: Any advice?

Here. You know what you have to do.

At 5/26/10 10:07 PM, Headshot777 wrote:

At 5/26/10 10:06 PM, Headshot777 wrote: Highwaystar is picking his nose!

By the way, I'm retarded.

HAHA RETARD!
*throws crumpled paper at Headshot777*

Nah, he's getting ready for another ghetto gangsta g-unit album. I hear he's gonna talk about his hard life as a poor street hound, poppin' foos and havin nothin' ta eat.

At 5/25/10 06:20 PM, Rig wrote: My little brother once snorted crushed candy and was rolling on the floor in pain for a while.

And you just sat there and laughed.
You heartless man.

At 5/25/10 05:13 PM, Minty-Hippo wrote: I have diabetes is there anything I should know before posting this thread?

What? No, you're in good company here. Come, sit down, have a Snickers bar or two!

At 5/25/10 04:18 PM, megagrounderx wrote: Why ''b''(strawberry clocks first flash) has so many great reviews?! Its just the letter b you to be a total retard to think thats good and he did not even put any work in it. We blam all the time and this gets a 9 in reviews! It also has a terd of the week trophy.Go look it up its also in the portal history.

How much of Newgrounds' population is made out of people that are teenagers and.or mature people, and how much is comprised of kiddies?

This place is a pedophile's paradise.

At 5/25/10 05:41 PM, Strength wrote: And I wouldn't recommend it.

Of course, you idiot, you have to mix it with vitamin C and Viagra, add motor oil and saltpeter, then boil it in elephant urine, incinerate it, mix the ashes with toothpaste, let dry, crush into a fine powder, THEN snort.

Jesus Christ.

At 5/25/10 02:58 PM, iamgrimreaper wrote: Do they remember being frozen, or are their memories just being dead from the moment they were frozen? Will they even die? Can you, using water and freezing it, reassemble the person and unfreeze him/her? So many questions.

What if you vaporize them with a laser? Would their brain matter be broken down to such tiny particles that they will be able to adhere to photons, thus creating a large number of light beams containing his/her thoughts? What if those individual particles would still be aware of each other, integrate themselves with the photons, and direct them in an organized matter? If possible, one could very well become... sentient light.
Light cannot be destroyed nor captured in any container, and the person's consciousness would allow him/her to direct photons either as individuals or as groups, even as a whole.
That would create a truly invincible life form, one that cannot be killed, destroyed, or restrained by the laws of physics that impede solid matter!

At 5/25/10 04:46 PM, Kittykylie wrote: Here you go, this girl is just fucking horrifying. Lets have fun making her look better/wprse ,mwahaha.

Sorry im a nasty mood.

Nice skin tone, baby. How old are you, 40, 50?

At 5/23/10 03:38 PM, Makakaov wrote: ...Who would it be?

HAI GUISE TAWM FOOLP HEAR.

At 5/22/10 10:15 PM, TwilightRules wrote:

At 5/22/10 09:31 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: He saw the Asian Naked Awkward Police Patrol!!!!!!

Where the fuck is that from?

I wish I knew, my friend.

I wish I knew...

At 5/22/10 11:30 PM, NGManiac203 wrote: I'm curious as to how these human centipedes breed...

\they perform a 207.

Because a 69 is just not enough.

At 5/22/10 09:05 PM, ifureadthisdie wrote: God i love this thread

I love that song.

And you.

At 5/22/10 09:31 PM, BritPop wrote: I'm confused, their mouths are sewn to their asses? Or what?

I believe their digestive systems are connected so that the first person's bowels release into the second's stomach and so on. It is total bullshit, because only the first person is truly fed - the ones after simply perform a further processing of the previous' feces, which yields infinitesimal nutrients, far from what's needed to survive. Also, no water intake. Only the lead subject can survive, the rest will die of starvation and dehydration.

100% medicinally accurate, my ass.