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Response to: Chocolate Covered Xmas Presents Posted December 4th, 2009 in General

Mmm-mmm, what a present!

Chocolate Covered Xmas Presents

Response to: Attention all Shinra employees Posted December 4th, 2009 in General

Don't worry sir, we're here to solve this situation.

//Thread Status : KIA/

Attention all Shinra employees

Response to: Eminem Posted December 4th, 2009 in General

At 12/4/09 12:04 PM, EpicFail wrote: I mean, the MUSIC isn't great, but as a person Eminem seems like a great guy, he's had a shitty life.

I've had a shitty life too, and you don't hear me being an attention whore and singing bad songs, do you?

Response to: If hitler had won? Posted November 29th, 2009 in General

If Hitler had won, you say?

Response to: Would you choose to switch genders? Posted November 29th, 2009 in General

Hermaphrodite :3

do I win?
Response to: Krinkels owns a gun shop in gta 4 Posted November 29th, 2009 in General

At 11/29/09 07:53 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: Noobs are for persons with erectile dysfunction, autism, cancer and AIDS.
and cocks in their bum.

Ohshit, I meant cheats. Man, this "mentally-divide-by-zero" is not having a good effect on me.

Response to: Krinkels owns a gun shop in gta 4 Posted November 29th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 05:38 PM, iamgrimreaper wrote:
At 11/26/09 05:32 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: Oh crap, [...]
Or.... You could just... I dunno, use cheats?

Noobs are for persons with erectile dysfunction, autism, cancer and AIDS.

and cocks in their bum.
Response to: little problem on the computer... Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

How the fuck do you delete the place you send all your deleted files to?

Ah, Vista. Apex of OS retardation.
Response to: Who Cares About Stats? Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/24/09 07:56 AM, EpicsplosionMedia wrote: ...should be able to tell them to go suck cow feces.
Ahem...Anus.
That is all.

I just had a hysterical laughter seizure.

Response to: Best removed from the market drinks Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

I miss Vanilla Coke...

Response to: Getting High + Reading Ng Forum Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

I bet it looks like every topic is well-formulated, makes sense, has an interesting subject and is using proper English language, while well-behaved gents join in and discuss matters requiring intelligence and logical thinking.

I know, so fucking weird. But it wears off in a few hours.
Response to: "Top Secret" Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

I follow a diet of human flesh, rusty nails, depleted uranium, graphite reactor control rods, 100-dollar bills and one barrel of high-octane gasoline a day. Occasionally I go out in town and enjoy a cup of motor oil mixed with steel shavings and a bottle of sulfuric acid.

Response to: Krinkels owns a gun shop in gta 4 Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

Oh crap, need more ammo! I'd better go to Mikhail's house and take the expensive sports car that he leaves open in the driveway, and go top-speed to the gun shop, smashing the car into a wall and turning it into a wreck, then one millisecond later flying out the window, screaming and swearing with a Russian accent, landing right in front of the door. Then, get up unscathed after flying through the air 60 feet and smashing into a garbage bin, clean the dust off my suit, and go into the shop to buy ridiculous amounts of ammo for the pistol I rarely use.

All in a day's work. Oh yeah.
Response to: a burning question Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 05:09 PM, bbabrich wrote: your mom, your dog, and the puppet from saw.
kill one, marry one, fuck one.

Kill the dog, marry the puppet from SAW, and phone Poozy to come and fuck your mom.

there, I did it. Where's my prize?
Response to: It was an accident! Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/25/09 02:05 PM, Idiot-Finder wrote: Any advice? Seriously!

So, kids, what did we learn today?
Today we learned that fat cats do not land on their feet. Generally, fat beings are less agile and prone to accidents - the same reason you don't see 300-pound polevaulters or acrobats.
Today we also learned that fat cats are also fragile. Their bones break and their internal organs rupture, leaving them to suffer a slow, agonizing death, because cats were not created with the purpose of throwing out from windows.
And the last thing we learned today is that, if this story is true, you're massively fucked; If it isn't, then you are a troll and need to find solace under a bridge as soon as possible.

Response to: we can't be space tourists. Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

Russia's Soyuz spacecraft will provide the only link to the station after the planned retirement of the U.S. shuttle fleet next year.

Yeah, the Americans are going back to standard-model rockets. Although IMO they could still use the Shuttles, assign them with the task of repairing sats and ferrying cargo to the ISS.

Response to: Dog Sitting On Your Lap Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 02:11 PM, Gagsy wrote: I let my dog lick my face knowing that she uses that to lick her cunt.

So no I don't mind.

This. It happens to me too.

Response to: Energy into matter Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

I say, take that shit and divide it with 0!

What could go wrong?

Energy into matter

Response to: Happiness is unachivable... Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 09:41 AM, Detached wrote: Is my life still worth living?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!

Suicide is achievable, though.Try it.
Response to: There is something in my computer. Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/2/09 09:12 PM, uzimaki320 wrote: And it's moving. I'm here on Newgrounds, watching some flash movies, when I hear a thump and scratching inside my PC tower.

Next time bolt the fucking pieces into the case, like you're supposed to do. Rubber bands and chewing gum aren't a good idea.

Response to: I killed a pidgeon (i feel guilty) Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 06:54 AM, inuyasha5114 wrote: this too

Indeed. I will make a contribution too. The subject in the picture below is your average, common city pigeon. With an average, common blowgun dart in its head.

Fascinating, isn't it?

I killed a pidgeon (i feel guilty)

Response to: I killed a pidgeon (i feel guilty) Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 08:32 AM, FlashCam wrote:
At 11/26/09 08:23 AM, Grizzli wrote: You monster.
IT'S TRUE!!!! Here's a link: Bird Shit Vid

Epic Finch WIn

Response to: I killed a pidgeon (i feel guilty) Posted November 26th, 2009 in General

At 11/26/09 06:34 AM, inuyasha5114 wrote: So I went home and had a wank.

It's ok, at least you had a wank.

Response to: extracting tar from cigarettes Posted November 25th, 2009 in General

At 11/24/09 05:11 PM, Warrickneff wrote:
At 11/24/09 05:08 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: I've been planning to find a cheap way to plug the holes in my driveway for a long time now...
thanks for the help.
Sealer is like $30 and a pack of smokes like $10, don't be silly.

I like to do shit the hard way. That's how REAL men do it.

Response to: extracting tar from cigarettes Posted November 24th, 2009 in General

At 11/24/09 05:07 PM, blue-ice-cube wrote: i just found this interesting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seqIyXvmv hY

discuss

I've been planning to find a cheap way to plug the holes in my driveway for a long time now...

thanks for the help.
Response to: Photoshop The Rock driving Posted November 23rd, 2009 in General

Before letting this thread die alone and unloved, I would like to post this as a symbol of its decline.

May it rest in peace.

Photoshop The Rock driving

Response to: Christmas Presents For Girls. Posted November 22nd, 2009 in General

this thing always works, trust me

Hey girl, I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we've been together such a long, long time (such a long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide (open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind (what is on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box (it's in a box)
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
Somethin' special girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (girl)
And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
1: Cut a hole in a box
2: Put your junk in that box
3: Make her open the box
And that's the way you do it
It's my dick in a box...my dick in a box girl
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent's house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box (yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
A dick in a box, a dick in a box, a dick in a box...

Response to: I can sleep with my eyes closed! Posted November 22nd, 2009 in General

I can send a multitude of electric signals from my brain through my nervous system, thus performing the complex task of using my hands to write this post, then add a witty picture describing this thread's awesomeness.

please, don't applaud me.

I can sleep with my eyes closed!

Response to: I'm going to war! Posted November 22nd, 2009 in General

At 11/22/09 07:01 PM, streetbob wrote: I signed up about 1 month ago now. I'm going to be shipped off in six days! I'm going to a city in South-West Afganistan. I signed up so I could a College Schollarship.

Remember: Kill the bad guys before they kill you, and everyone's happy.

Response to: Photoshop Flying Suitcase Man Posted November 22nd, 2009 in General

At 11/21/09 05:37 PM, geterkikzkid wrote:
At 11/21/09 04:54 PM, Animator1mike wrote: I swear, whatever is in that suitcase must be important to him. Even his drowned half-eaten Mexican corpse won't let go of it.
Actually it's a portfolio...

A what? I don't see any portfolios here. BRB finishing mah joint.

Photoshop Flying Suitcase Man