Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 1/15/12 04:35 PM, Anture wrote: Bump. Come on, guys. Gotta be someone out there willing to work with me to unleash the next flash sensation all over newground's face.

There are better scripts out there that people don't read. If by some narrow chance an animator looking for a script strolled in, I doubt he'd choose your work. The least you could do if you are really serious is properly format the script. Also, the scripts are too short, senseless, and tasteless. An animator could easily come up with something as random and silly as this on his own.

Sorry, but that's the truth.

At 1/15/12 04:23 PM, Punisher33 wrote:

Practicing your grammar in your post will help you hone it so that each sentence you write is up to English standards (well, depends on where you're from).

Anyway,

How did Goku and the others get
caught?

i think by touch, These guys can zap
there strength.

*I think by touch*. These guys can zap *their strength.

>.>

Ok, well, first of all, the story does not have a hook. It will be one of the first things you talk about in class. Honestly, I think you should just delve into the story but your first sentence has no action, so it is flat. I think you should just start with the third sentence. Btw, you should write out your sentences, that is, "from zero to 165 miles per hour."

Second, there are some instances of overdescription and redundancies. For example, "Not that he needed to, of course," and "headed home...to see his family at home." Also, the beginning is too technical

Third, I think you should stay with third-person, limited. It is mostly third-person limited, anyway, but it will force you to show us that Stephens is scared and panicked, instead of just telling us.

Finally, there is no development. The story is about a man in a plane crash. However, there is no change in the setting. What I am trying to get at is so what? Why should the reader care? How has Stephens changed, is it good or bad, what do we have to learn from you?

Hopefully this will get you on the right track.

At 1/15/12 03:18 PM, JackPhantasm wrote: You expect me to reformat a script? When you can read it by clicking the link? No. That's retarded.

Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do, since the NG BBS won't recognize it.

Well, good luck getting readers.

If it is a quick read, then post it here. If you are worried that the format will get messed up, chances are, writers aren't going to want to read a proper screenplay. Btw, the title seems awfully cliched.

Maybe you should write something new, instead of reviving a 11-month old thread.

You're a regular Woody Allen. I ... was moved to tears.

In happier news, I just got back from the first night of my Intro to Creative Fiction class and I can tell I'm gonna love it. The professor started talking about literary fiction and how it represents the ideal form of fiction, and how genre fiction can be great as well, but it ain't literary fiction. She talked about characters and setting and how killing off characters is too easy and that keeping them alive and focusing on the problem is harder but better. Man, it's great to see a professor reaffirm what I sorta thought about writing. I want to grow as a writer and the class mostly works around peer-review with some professor input. I hate being condescending, but some of the students--I don't know about them. I can't wait to start writing and see where this takes me.

Peace.

I'm sad to say that I won't be continuing the Weekly Writing Exercises; no one participated in the last one. I realize that it was tougher than the first two and people didn't want to invest, but that's what I was moving towards and future exercises were gonna be like that. I never really felt that there was much interest and I thank those that did participate, especially more than once. In addition, the Spring semester is upon me, so I will be busy the next few weeks as I settle into my classes. Oh well...

*kicks can purposelessly*

At 1/5/12 11:34 PM, JohnEndel959 wrote:

I've only been to Fanfiction once so I can only judge from what I've seen:

It is not a very productive or constructive environment for aspiring writers or novice writers. It seems as if new writers can't make a dent to the already established drivel. Most kids learn the basics of the narrative in school. If they never got that type of experience, Fanfiction seems like the worst place to go. If they decide they want to pursue creative writing for whatever reason, they usually have to start at square one.

Besides, creating setting and characters is the most basal component of the narrative :O

At 1/5/12 08:46 PM, Insanctuary wrote:

I get the gest of writing.. It's the style, and terms that I lack there of.

Well, that's why we have school. I learned a great deal of information from reading an English textbook. If you're not taking an advanced placement English class, I recommend you do so. However, style is not something that you can just learn, per se. I mean, there are things such as figurative language and imagery and tone and language (word choice etc.) but the only way to develop style is to keep writing. Write as many things as you can and explore every kind of writing there is.

Something was telling me from the back of my head that I was off about people using fiction to escape reality. Almost like deja vu reading your response. So basically, it's simply a world in a lake of words.

Well, it's more of a world in your head that you share with other people.

I do not know how to go about with this. :/ That is my predicament. I feel as though I see the door, but I do not know where this door leads.. nor will I understand what it is that lies behind said door.

What's the harm of going through the door? Just go with it and see where it takes you. Now's the time to experiment.

Thankyou for being patient. I appreciate it. ^^

'S no problem.

At 1/5/12 11:25 AM, Idiot-Finder wrote: Do anyone notice that whenever a story in Fanfiction.net or Fictionpress.com gets updated, sometiems there would be a surge of hits for a day?

I've always hated fanfiction. I don't really think that these events are significant and that it is just random whims and trends of fanfiction/fictionpress goers.

At 1/5/12 04:51 PM, BrianEtrius wrote:

Anyways, happy New Year, and it terms of writing, I've been contacted to help develop a video game script dealing with politics, diplomatic relations and national security in an alternate post 9/11 world. Hopefully the gameplay will come out good.

That's enough info for me to know it will be pretty sweet.

At 1/5/12 08:10 PM, Insanctuary wrote:

I write alot.. but my writing has to do with my philosophy.

Well, the focus of these exercises is literary fiction, so you need to have all the basics down. If you want to write about philosophy, that's good too. Anything and everything can be incorporated into literary fiction, and many writers accomplish that via themes. Modernist writers used themes in conjunction with the stream-of-consciousness narrative. The Modernism movement was a revolution not just in literature, but art, philosophy and psychology as well. But, that is another story.

I seem to have trouble writing about fictional characters when my mind is wrapped around this reality of mine. Alot of people write about fictional characters to escape from this world; yet, I do not wish to escape this world, so my mind isn't focused on creating characters that aren't real, or events that never took place.

How do I approach this?

Hm. Fiction is not about escaping reality (not all fiction is escapism), rather, it is about reflecting reality. All the most acclaimed, read, and beloved works of literature are well-regarded because they do just that. They contain relatable characters, situations/conflicts, settings; also, the most important part of writing is the theme and these books have universal themes that explore the nature of humans and the world and the universe. It is about connecting with the reader and offering your ideas or opinions or observations.

I guess the best way to approach this is to ask yourself what you want. Do you want to be a writer? Do you want to write fiction? Do you just want to focus on philosophy or psychology? You might have to start from the very beginning and familiarize yourself with all the aspects and elements of fiction. Keep practicing until you get a hang of it. Then go crazy; that's when your best work comes.

At 1/3/12 07:27 PM, Insanctuary wrote:

Gross oversimplification: the best way to get better at writing is to write as much as possible, and read as much as possible.

Anyway, don't get caught up! It is important to connect events in a narrative. The easiest way would be to start at the beginning. Start with the exposition and work your way through to the denouement. If you think you can do it, use a nonlinear storyline (use a flashback; "Before I tell you that story, lemme tell you this story..."). Make sure you completely use the narrative structure. It gets easier with practice! Even if you think that you know what it takes to write a narrative, there's no loss in sharpening your skills.

Hey guys, here's my story. Notice how it goes climax,setting / rising action, setting/exposition, back to exposition, climax again, brief falling action, and denouement. It is very important to have all five traditional parts for this exercise.

You'll never believe it, Ma, but I was there when the Archduke Ferdinand was shot and killed. I saw the assailant run up to him and shoot him! Oh, the commotion!

I was at the mayor's speech at the city hall. The day seemed fine, as fine as a day could be in our pitiful Sarajevo. The atmosphere was drab and featureless and had been static since morning. The people were restless and many were chatting in a hushed manner, as if a terrible rumor was spreading. It was very noisy, Ma, as the civilians began almost yelling at each other when they saw that the procession had started and that the Archduke and his company were restless as well. Poor Serbia! What a wretched place, under the heel of equally wretched oppressors. I had heard something; I think that a group of nationalists attacked the Archduke's motorcade and that was the reason for the tumult. The guards soon arrived in their ornamental uniforms, trying to restore order. I was very scared.

The Archduke was visibly irate. He trampled up the steps towards the podium of the hall. His moustache glistened with sweat as he convulsed while yelling at the mayor. The mayor raised his hands, as if to ward off the Archduke. The Archduke composed himself soon after, in a very haughty way. I heard him detail the attack:

"This is ludicrous, mayor! This was supposed to be a routine drive through passive streets. My men were escorting me from the troop center and your citizens began launching small bombs at me and my wife! And now I am here, mayor; what do you plan to do? We need more security, more guards!"

That is right. Later, I heard that someone tried to kill the Archduke and his wife with bombs. It was very still in the morning despite word that the Archduke was going to travel through. He had been here for a while, but now he was traveling through my beloved Sarajevo. The buildings and paths echoed with the vibrations of car motors and marching troops and barked orders. A rouge got within a few meters and hurtled a handheld bomb towards the pompous heir but it deflected off their motorcar and exploded right behind them. It was truly terrible sight; I know, I visited the site later. People were hurt, but not the Archduke. He and his wife were riding in a car visiting some of the imperial soldiers stationed here in our quaint little city.

I left the speech early, Mother, to get something to eat. All of the clamor upset my weak stomach, as you know. I was verily shaken and decided to go to a diner near the bridge. I wanted to see the attack site, the little trip of which I told you, but not before a settling snack. From my little table and my spot of tea, who should I see but the Archduke and his wife, traversing the bridge. They seemed to be in a little trouble and the motorcar stalled. Then, a mysterious man appeared right before them, shoving his way through, before two loud shots rang.

I was very scared. Some patrolling guards captured and beat the man, Ma. The motorcar sputtered away, never to be seen again. They had not succeeded in killing the Archduke then, but that wasn't failure for that Serbian nationalist. He went in and killed him, and his wife. Who knows how those vicious Austrians will react. What reprisals and repercussions shall hit Serbia? Oh, what calamity and strife in our quaint little city!

Here's a link to get you guys going. It contains all the necessary and pertinent information of that day. I don't recommend Wikipedia for this one. The first six paragraphs are enough to write a compelling story but the rest gives you a glimpse of the nature of narratives.

http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/duke.
htm

Hey, and welcome to the Weekly Writing Exercises #1 part 3. To some of you, welcome back!

Sorry for the delays, but here is number 3 of the first four-part cycle. If you didn't participate in 1.1, or 1.2, don't fret; you can still participate in part 3! Or, if you like, participate in part 1 or part 2 (it's never too late to join in past exercises; I'll respond to each entry). I recommend everyone at least check 1.1 and 1.2 out! It should get you up to speed.

Without further ado, here's part 3:

EXERCISE #3: NARRATIVE AND PLOT:

Well, we've got a universe and characters to fill it with. What now? Well, it's time for plot. Plot is basically a series of events in a narrative that have significance in the setting; when people say "story," they mean plot and narrative. Plot is told via narration, by a narrator, which makes up the narrative. More importantly, narration is someone recounting some sort of event/s. So, we have a speaker, or narrator, telling us what's going on, in one way or another.

Especially since the modernist movement, plot has been warped and obfuscated (this can be good), but for now, we will stick to the traditional plot, or narrative structure, that is, beginning, middle, and end. More specifically:

1. Introduction/exposition
2. Rising action / conflict
3. Climax
4. Falling action
5. Denouement / new status quo

These events make up the narrative. Preferably, these events should be causally related and be significant and cause change in the universe (setting). Also, they are usually told in chronological order, with a few in-and-outs due to flashbacks, even when starting with in medias res. However, modernist literature sometimes starts with the middle or end, then the beginning, while going back to the end/middle. Think Quentin Tarantino.

Prompt: Write each part of a traditional plot. Write five events that detail the plot and narrative. Here are the directions:

The setting is 1914 Sarajevo. Archduke of Austria Franz Ferdinand is passing through when he is suddenly attacked. The Archduke continues his tour at Sarajevo regardless. Later, the Archduke is shot and killed, as is his wife. World War 1 soon follows. You are a passerby that heard about the bombing (beginning), was at the speech by the Archduke (middle), and you witnessed the Archduke get shot (end). You realize that this means trouble (denouement).

1. Start with exposition. This will be your setting and your characters (characterize yourself and the Archduke; aim for 200 words).
2. Continue with rising action. There will most likely be no discernible conflict. (100 words. Think of it as a transition to the climax).
3. Climax with the Archduke being shot (about 50-100 words).
4. Give the falling action and denouement (about 50-100 words).

(Some of the requirements are different. Remember, you must meet one challenge!)
Requirements:

M: Write a series of connected events about the assassination of the Archduke. Your story must have all five parts of a traditional plot. However, they don't have to be in chronological order.
M: Follow the directions. The beginning, middle, and end (including the denouement), must be addressed or alluded to. The narrator/speaker, characters and universe must be different or changed.
M: You are a citizen who witnessed the events and recounting it to the reader. As such, first-person will be used. The narration is first-person, limited.
C: Use a non-linear plot. Start with the Archduke's assassination and flashback to the speech.
C: Incorporate a narrative within your narrative. How did you hear about the previous assassination attempt? If another character told you about it, that's another narrative!
C: Be an unreliable narrator! How do we know what really happened? It was a long time after all (Note: the story doesn't have to be factual or historically accurate, even if the narrator is reliable).
S: Remember what you learned with setting and characters. You should have a better idea of what works and what doesn't.
S: Be creative with your exposition and setting. Is the year 1999 and you are 100 years old, remembering the story?
S: Connect the events causally. The previous attempt / bombing led to the speech (the Archduke was upset/nervous), which led to his death.

General Requirements:
M: 350-800 words. It is an exercise and if it blossoms into a grand story, good--but for now, we want to keep them short and focus on the exercise part.
M: 40-50 minutes. Obviously, I can't enforce this rule, but don't get hung up! It's important to work on your improvisational skills as a writer and transcribing your thoughts. If you have spent over 45 minutes, quickly wrap up. It's okay, we can work from there.
M: Post here or post a link to your NG page. NO EXTERNAL HOSTING.
M: Please post by Sunday to be considered an entrant for this exercise.
M: HAVE FUN! DO IT!

Sorry for the late post. As usual, any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions are best posted here. I also respond to PMs. I will have my exercise soon and encourage you to do the same.

Thanks!

~Deft

P.S. Expect my exercise 50 min. from now :) This one is a bit longer and more demanding, but I know the stories are gonna be very different and exciting.

Sorry guys; I have to go to the damn opthamologist. I wonder what's wrong this time? Expect 1.3 about 2-3 hours from now. It is about narration with a focus on plot. It will be more "exercise-y" this time since most of you should be very familiar with plot. I will give my usual discourse on plot, its attributes and how we can use it. However, we are finally moving towards "the big picture" and it is very much more subjective whether something was done right/wrong, good/bad.

At 12/29/11 06:43 PM, Dynaon wrote:

Solid. I realize this is an exercise and there are imposed restrictions, but it is important for the result to be natural; the last sentence doesn't feel natural at all. Also, the description is very exact and scientific, and I thought it was appropriate for a mathematician/scientist, but not for a retired lawyer in his golden years. So, the description is solid, but it needs more focus on developing the character, that is, show us more traits. I see you met challenges 1 and 2.

At 12/30/11 09:02 PM, Sharu wrote:

Awesome! Good job showing man that once was but is no more. This is an exercise in characterization, so I would like you to focus on characterization and not setting. I see you met all challenges!

At 1/2/12 10:54 AM, Coop wrote:

Interesting description. However, there is something left to be desired; that is, most of the rounding is direct characterization. You spend most of the piece describing that he is a solemn but good man and you give a second trait right at the end, but I don't buy that he is grumpy. He seems very polarized. However, you did a good job of building him up. I see you met challenges 1 and 2.

At 1/2/12 02:39 PM, EKublai wrote:

Sweet. Very layered. He is very complex and solid throughout. It seems more like a self-contained micro-story than an exercise, but oh well. I see you met all challenges!

Thanks for participating guys, Some trends:

Original names. Yes, this is a must. Never name your character common names (including biblical names and popular culture names). Deviation. Please try to stay with the exercise >.> it's ok though, as long as we're improving, but it's important to work out all the right muscles, so to speak. Too simple. It's probably fault of the exercise for being so short, but two characteristics aren't enough. Three should be good, but try to round the character with many different traits. As always, it's about originality! because that's the most memorable, and also makes us think.

Part 3 coming (extremely) soon!

At 12/30/11 09:02 PM, Sharu wrote: Ok, took me a little while to get to it, but here's my submission (I hope when you said "by Friday" you meant "by the end of Friday" :P)

It's due by midnight Friday (must be turned in before Saturday), so yeah you're good.

I was a bit let down by the turn out this week; I should have replied to both of you by tonight. This goes out to anyone who wanted to participate but didn't get a chance: IT IS NEVER TOO LATE.

I am still thinking about part 3 and it will definitely relate to exposition. Most likely it will regard narration. Thanks for participating!

There are two main problems. First: the sentence structure. The sentences are unvaried and plain, in addition, there is too much telling. For example, take the first sentence; why not show us morning was starting?

Second, there are no paragraphs, and the pacing is disjointed.

I'd recommend fixing these things first.

Hey guys, sorry for not being on the ball with this one, but I am kinda busy with relatives during the holidays. I'll try my best to put up part 1.3 on Monday (probably late in the afternoon) but I'll be back on it for the finale (1.4). Please participate! As I said, I am willing to pay a little prize to whomever "wins" part 1.4. However, you must participate in at least one exercise (I'll give some extra points to those that participated in 2 or 3). Also, I am thinking about paying the winner 1 dollar for each number of entries turned in that met all criteria (currently at 3, limit 10. Word count doesn't count if you gave it your best / ran out of time).

Anyway, about the exercise. Characters are important. However, we usually get caught up in one-dimensionality (I sure as hell find myself doing it). Most of us try to combat this by "balancing" the character with the opposite trait. But, this will make him seem bipolar (depending on the situation, this can be desired). For example, if the man is a cantankerous grump, most would try to show a gentle side. You want to avoid this, or rather, expand it. Show more than 2 general traits/characteristics. He is a grump, with a gentle side, who is also protective and idealistic.

Another thing: AVOID MARY SUE'ING AT ALL COSTS! This is never good. Even superheroes have their faults, which is why we love them. Don't make the character "too perfect;" everyone in the world has their downsides. If you are worried about your character being too apathetic and unlikable; you are right, you should worry, but it is better than your character not having any faults. In the same regard, make sure your character is not all ideals; make them pragmatic as well. Some homework for those overachievers: look up melodrama and the components it is made of. AVOID THESE AT ALL COSTS!

Anyway, here's my exercise (took me about 30 min.):
Marlon Westbrook sat idly on his porch with his even more sedentary hound, Good Ol' Sam--that was the dog's name; "good ol' Good Ol' Same," Marlon use to say. He lifted his timeworn hat and shuffled his hoary hair. His face was creased with age and hung like Good Ol' Sam's. He replaced his hat and tipped it downwards, ready for his usual nap; Marlon checked his wristwatch for confirmation: four o'clock sharp. He let out a contented sigh, rough and dusty with age.

He had no family left. The sad truth confronted every time he woke; he often called for his wife, only to remember she was gone. His call would always conclude in a whisper, as if realizing he'd just missed her. His wristwatch's repetitious alarm beeped "off" as Marlon squeezed the buttons. He was annoyed at the complication for snapping him to consciousness, out of his dream. He tapped his cane, alerting Good Ol' Sam that dinner was to be served and eaten. "good dog, Good Ol' Sam," Marlon muttered.

As he prepared the dog's dinner, he reminisced on his previous job; he was a librarian. The man valued the order and organization of the library. He would scan the shelves all day long, making sure no book was out of place. The droning silence was pleasure to his ears. He loved the library; in fact, that's where he met his wife. Her books were always overdue, however, Marlon always pardoned her.

Good Ol' Sam's tin can dinner plopped perfectly in the center of his bowl. Marlon stacked bread, bologna, lettuce, tomato, then bread again, in neat precision and debated whether or not to include mustard. He hated the pungent, yellow taste, but his wife always prepared his sandwiched with mustard. He left the jar on the countertop and took a bite, appreciating the simple taste. Good Ol' Sam barked at the misplaced jar, briefly reminding Marlon of when he barked at rascally kids who did not return books properly. He dabbed some mustard on his sandwich, returned the jar, and sat down at the table, and finished dinner with his dog.

Honestly, if you are seriously trying to improve your writing, I'd recommend not writing fanfic. It's important to be able to come up with your own setting (or universe) from which characters, conflict, and plot are derived. The process of creating these elements are fundamental for a writer and cannot be overlooked.

Hey, and welcome to the Weekly Writing Exercises #1 part 2. To some of you, welcome back!

So, this is the second installment of the first four part cycle. If you didn't participate in 1.2, don't fret; you can still participate in part 2! Or, if you like, participate in part 1here (it's never too late to join in past exercises; I'll respond to each entry). I recommend everyone at least check part 1 out!

Without further ado, here's part 2:

EXERCISE #2: CHARACTERIZATION:

So, by now, you should be familiar with setting. Next, we've got to start the plot. But before we do that, we must be able to write compelling, well rounded, dynamic characters. Fictional characters should feel real and even if no concrete details are provided the reader should still be able to form a pretty clear mental picture.

Inspiration for characters are everywhere. Writers usually get their inspiration from existing characters within books, tv, movies, etc., or from real-life people they know. However, it is important to develop characters to a point where they feel real and are not clichéd (I cannot stress that enough).

There are two types of characterization: direct and indirect. Direct characterization is the narrator or someone else directly telling the reader what someone is like ("he is a grinch"). Indirect characterization forces the reader to figure out what kind of character he is ("he never gives any tips and is always frowning"). The point of this exercise is to practice rounding characters! It is a very important skill since not all characters are the same.

Prompt: Describe the old man in the (copyright free) photo. He looks like a typical, grumpy, boring, simple conservative farmhand. Round him out.

(Some of the requirements are different. Remember, you must meet one challenge!)
Requirements:

M: Write about this old man. No visual concrete details that go against the picture (he's clearly not wearing a yellow shirt).
M: Characterization can only come from the narrator (you). No characterization from the old man himself, or other characters.
M: Both direct/indirect characterization must be used. Two types of concrete details must be used (visual, auditory, olfactory, etc.).
C: Describe his occupation. He looks like a farmer, sure, but he can also be a mayor, or a retired lawyer.
C: Describe his relationships. Describing his family and friends can be an easy way to show character. For example, hanging out every Friday with his step-daughter shows he has a soft spot.
C: Describe his beliefs. Not just religion or political stance, but maybe something more philosophic. Maybe the guy is a cynic.
S: If you are stuck, expand on the guy's age. He seems to be about 60, so he is a baby boomer, so he probably hates all the young hipsters.
S: Be creative! Think of a random occupation and maybe that's what he used to do and now he's a farmhand. Here are some: actor (played a fairy), scuba diver, EMT.
S: Remember to use figurative language!
General Requirements:
M: 250-750 words. It is an exercise and if it blossoms into a grand story, good--but for now, we want to keep them short and focus on the exercise part.
M: 30-45 minutes. Obviously, I can't enforce this rule, but don't get hung up! It's important to work on your improvisational skills as a writer and transcribing your thoughts. If you have spent over 45 minutes, quickly wrap up. It's okay, we can work from there.
M: Post here or post a link to your NG page. NO EXTERNAL HOSTING.
M: Please post by Friday to be considered an entrant for this exercise.
M: HAVE FUN! DO IT!

Sorry for the late post. As usual, any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions are best posted here. I also respond to PMs. I will have my exercise soon and encourage you to do the same.

Thanks!

~Deft

At 12/20/11 10:32 AM, Coop wrote:

At 12/19/11 08:14 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote:

Very nice. Some thoughts: The third and fourth paragraph have vivid imagery, which is good, especially the tactile imagery; I believe that it's cold. I appreciate the personification of nature. This is a standalone exercise, so I am not sure how this would transition into a short story, but it doesn't matter;I don't feel second-person is appropriate. I don't understand why the final paragraph is asterisked. I see you completed challenge 3.

At 12/20/11 10:49 AM, EKublai wrote:

Hm. Well, I did think this was interesting, and opening with a shower is interesting. Opening with tactile imagery is probably the strongest way to open. I like the visual imagery, especially the colors, which gives the reader an impression of the bathroom. However, this exercise was to focus on setting only. I'm not sure who Roger is, but you directly characterized him, as well as whomever the speaker is' the speaker is compulsive and neat. Also, I don't think you met any of the challenges (there was a lot of contrast, but no paradoxes).

At 12/20/11 01:26 PM, Sharu wrote:

I like the cornucopia of imagery, but it is a bit overabundant. It is important not to flood the reader with too much visual imagery or else the reader won't stop to appreciate and develop the mental picture; however, I don't think that this is derived from the florid language; rather, I think it's from the lack of paragraphs. Great job on the imagery, especially the audial imagery with the coffin, and the grave imagery in general. Also, great job on the personification. I see you used onomatopoeia, and you used the paradox "sweet sorrow," which is a cliche, so be careful. Very solid effort! I can see something awesome as a result of some light editing.

At 12/22/11 11:58 PM, TheRealGreenEagle wrote:

Nicely written, but the setting needs to be presented in such a way that it can stand without the commentary; it does; I am unsure why the commentary is there. It is largely unnecessary, redundant, and a bit obtrusive. There is a ton of good sight imagery here, but you never appeal to the other senses (there is also kinesthetic imagery). This is an exercise, but the purpose of describing the setting in the exposition is to create the universe from which the plot and conflict arise. You present the setting as an event with a start, middle, end, and also present it as if it is screen direction. I see you used onomatopoeia with the cow.

~

Thanks for participating guys. I am still unsure what the next weekly exercise will be, but most likely characterization.

There were some trends I noticed. For example, everyone who wrote about the outdoors personified nature. Also, most did not appeal to all five senses (plus the "others"); this is not necessary or always warranted, but it is important to have in your arsenal. You guys avoided cliches, which is awesome. "It was a dark and stormy night" or anything along those lines is the worst possible way to start a story. Also, it is important to try to meet the challenges! The goal is not to try to create the best or most impressive intro ever; rather, it is important to practice and utilize as many tools as possible to create something that works, familiarizing yourself in the process (even if it doesn't work, you can always try again).

Thanks for participating and get ready for the next one (out tomorrow)!

Thanks for participating, guys! If anyone still has anything to contribute, by all means do so! :)

Hey guys, don't get hung up on this! Try your best. Also, remember to be original and avoid cliches at all costs! Anyway, here's what I got (took me about 35 minutes):

The gray, gray clouds seem to be getting a little bit more cheery as the sun tries to find us on this dismal day. The passage around the complex is refreshingly empty and is dark from the moisture. Only the most acute ear will pick up the constant drone of busy traffic only a few moments away; the complex creates a virtual barrier from the outside world. Leaves from the trees remain in December and swirl about on the ground, rustling and crunching under my footsteps. The only other sound is the wind's low growl. What's it waiting for? The day is just empty and meaningless, but the wind is howling softly in anticipation.

It's damp and a cursory glance clues me in to rain. There is on and off drizzle and mist collects all around. It smells good, like December is supposed to. It's a bit eerie being all alone, but the weather is so embracing!

Alas, there is something in the distance that distracts from the nice, bleak, day. There is a light fog that hides what appears to be a polar bear leaning against a grainy white wall. That would explain the growls in the atmosphere.

Some birds softly flutter away from the bear. The braver ones stray behind while one of the smaller birds rests on the beast's head.

Wind begins to pick up again; the fierce rush sways the skinnier trees in the background and the large trees in front hold their solid ground. It's not a wonder why the passage is so empty. Rays of light are very sparse in the sky and cannot penetrate the cloud layer as the day grows even sadder. In only a few hours, evening will creep in and the sun will disappear without notice. It will be dark soon, but that will make that white bear all that easier to see.

Hello, and welcome to the first installment of the Weekly Writing Exercises!

My goal is to create a friendly, yet helpful forum for NG's writers and aspiring writers to congregate and come together to write some exercises. Hopefully, through this practice, the writers will grow and sharpen their skills, as well as gain a deeper appreciation of the craft. I hope to improve as well, mostly by reading your guys' stories. For most of the exercises, we will be focusing mostly on literary fiction (with an emphasis on short stories) and its elements, as well as techniques, devices, structure, and so forth.

Each exercise will have specific and general requirements. Specific relate only to the exercise at hand, while general requirements apply to all of them. Please, please, please adhere to these! It will make it easier on all of us. Lets get started!

EXERCISE #1: SETTING:

For this week's exercise we will start at the very beginning: setting. The setting is the most basic aspect of the short story. Many other aspects are derived from the setting, such as characters, plot, conflict etc., so having a solid setting will create a solid foundation for your story. Look outside. Chances are you are in a setting, and I want you to write about it.

Prompt: Take a moment to look outside and try to create an exciting setting for a story.

Most of us live in urban or sub-urban areas, so aesthetically, many of us will be looking at similar environments, which is where you come in. I want you to start with imagery, that is, appeal to the senses. Start with sight; is it dark or bright? What's the weather like? Next, audial. Is it quiet or loud? Is there a commotion? Finally, conclude with smell, taste and touch (these are a bit harder to incorporate).

However, you want the setting to be exciting and original, even if it is like every city out there. Try using figurative language, such as similes/metaphors, and exaggerations and understatements.

Requirements:
Each exercise will have certain requirements. Those with an 'M' next to them are mandatory and exercises that forgo these will not be accepted. Those with a 'C' next to them are challenges. You must meet at least one challenge, and if you want try to meet all of them! Those with an 'S' are suggestions and really aren't requirements, but these will definitely help you! Without further ado:

M: Write about setting! Remember that setting also includes time and period, there can be a problem in the universe of your story, and this is important expository information.
M: Setting only! That is, no characters (people can be part of a setting, but they aren't to be portrayed or characterized in any sense). No plot and no conflict--not yet! Try to be as objective as possible.
C: Add something wacky or fictional to your observations. Does the sun look like it's going to explode? Is what you are looking at even real? Man, those raindrops look like little spaceships! Keep it fresh!
C: Incorporate a paradox. This will help the reader pause and admire the setting. The stinging rain sure feels nice, don't it?
C: Describe the wildlife. Maybe the short story involves one of those birds. What's their deal?
S: Use onomatopoeia. Is the rain swishing down the sidewalk? What of the ants? They are making inaudible taps on the pavement. These are very immersive.
S: Introduce some mystery, which will pique interest. You can use a red herring. It's a glorious day and those gentleman are spending it in the alley, they must be up to something. Oh well, the sun is overzealous today, and the birds couldn't be happier.

General Requirements:
M: 300-1000 words. It is an exercise and if it blossoms into a grand story, good--but for now, we want to keep them short and focus on the exercise part.
M: 30-45 minutes. Obviously, I can't enforce this rule, but don't get hung up! It's important to work on your improvisational skills as a writer and transcribing your thoughts. If you have spent over 45 minutes, quickly wrap up. It's okay, we can work from there.
M: Post here or post a link to your NG page. NO EXTERNAL HOSTING.
M: Please post by Wednesday and I will get to you by Friday.
M: HAVE FUN! DO IT!

I realize this is a bit of information, but hopefully we can get things rolling and streamlined. I will respond to everybody by Friday and have the results and preview by Sunday, and part 2 will be posted next week. Please participate! This isn't ranked but for week 4, there will be a little $10 prize (depending on the number of participants, via paypal) and the only stipulation is that you must have participated in at least one WWE (I need a new name too!)

Please help me generate interest. Any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions are best posted here. I also respond to PMs. I will have my exercise by the end of the day and encourage you to do the same.

Thanks!

~Deft

At 12/15/11 05:30 PM, Coop wrote:

It's been a trying day and I just felt that I should say something...

You shouldtalk to someone about it, and I mean really talk about it. There's only so much an internet cohort can do to help, friend.

At 12/15/11 01:06 PM, Sharu wrote: I'm almost on break, and totally interested! I did some of the early ones, and they were really fun. I don't have any ideas right now, but I'm sure I could come up with a prompt later.

Nice. I am still unsure what the format will be, but I was hoping something like this:

On Monday, I post the prompt, as well as some tips, directions, limitations (probably 300-1k words, and depending on the prompt, I might as for a specific genre) and some links to where I got the ideas and where you can find help. Then, I ask that by the following Wednesday, all stories be submitted, then I will spend Thursday and Friday reading them. Then on Sunday I will wrap up and give a preview of the next day's topic, and maybe post a "best of" or "most improvement" or "biggest surprise" or even something like "best use of double entendres" (depending on the topic); things like that ought to keep things interesting and hopefully keep participants around.

Also, I was thinking of making a Monthly Writing Exercise every 4th week, which would ask the participants to create a longer story (1.5k-3k words) incorporating elements and techniques we have used and studied and I would give direction based on observations (if I noticed that someone kept using active voice for a weak character during a dialogue exercise, I would advise them to use passive voice, etc.). I guess that I would announce that one on week 3 and ask people to turn them in on Monday of week 4 so I could have the results by the next 4 week cycle, maybe ranking the entries, or maybe not, I still can't decide.

Of course this would be just for fun, and I am still having trouble finding something that would not only attract members, but also keep them around!