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At 2 days ago, yuirick wrote: Ah, it's always saddening to see how little that happens on writing forums. :/

There's always plenty of people seeking reviews! If you can, just scroll down and post into a thread with +0 posts.

At 5 hours ago, vannila-guerilla wrote:

That was a glitch. I have my keyboard set to American English. Everytime you see that it's supposed to have an apostrophe.

There is a problem with symbols (such as apostrophes, dashes, and semicolons too, I think) being copied from a word processor into the NG BBS. It's normal and hopefully it will be fixed soon.

Anyway, if you want a critique, please provide a critique to warror or PoptartKid, and hope for reciprocity (or send them a friendly pm). Also, it would be helpful if you commented directly in their story and then commented in this thread that you have commented in their thread; that way, both threads get more notice.

Also, to avoid any unnecessary boggling down, please post a link to your story (don't post the whole thing here!) please post it in a link that leads to the story (preferably on NG). Make sure that you use the "Link" button near the comment box.

Also also, since I don't want newcomers to get the idea that NG Writing Forum will give new faces attention willy-nilly without anything in return, I won't read people's pieces if they don't read others'. If I see someone has given time and effort to the forum, I will definitely post in your future threads.

WRITING FORUM FTW YO!

To Warror and PoptartKid

You have to review someone's story here on the Writing Forum if you want reciprocity from the Review Request thread. Considering I haven't seen any real contributions to the Forum as a whole from either of you (since I've been here), I suggest you give a good one. So, give a critique to someone's story, but type at least three decent paragraphs. Go down the WRiting Forum; there are a lot of stories waiting to be reviewed. Or you could review each other stories.

The Writing Forum isn't just a place to post stories, you have to comment on other peoples' too!

At 8 hours ago, fissuredev wrote: We are Fissure, a collegiate game development team located in San Francisco State University.
I am looking to outsource a creative writer who has a strong background in story writing synthesis.
If interested, please visit:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e8nmxnFhdR0dy4XtpBa6f6IA IpPaBZMBWSYMlJ82iLU/edit?pli=1

I saw that you posted before, so I assume you really need a writer and haven't found one. Still, there are some steps to ensure you find such talent.

First, we need more information. Writing is extremely diverse, and we need to know what you are looking for. That is, a horror writer, or sci-fi, or adventure etc.; then, we need to know what direction you are looking for: traditional, surreal, abstract, etc. Finally, we need to know what we would do, that is, are we just writing scripts, or are we developing characters and setting, dialogue, plot etc.

Also, if you could post the information directly into the thread, it would be greatly appreciated. The google docs link doesn't really have any pertinent information.

At 1 day ago, MattyT wrote: Hello, and welcome to my Writing For Flash class thread. Together we are going to go on a magical journey. I am going to learn how to teach a bunch of people on the internet how to write a coherent and interesting script with the purpose of being animated by our animators here on Newgrounds (because learning actionscript is for squares! Right guys?)

You sort of touch on it in the bulk of the post, but you never directly mention it: what is the difference between this thread and the other screenwriting threads? The only difference seems to be the sole intention of flash production, but what I am trying to say is, why should we follow you instead of just learning basic screenwriting; or for those of us who are familiar with screenplays, why should we stick around? I doubt that NG animators care about these basics or if the characters are rounded or not, as long as the script is either epic or funny.

Other than that, I don't see a reason why one wouldn't stick around.

What is the purpose for this derivative, fragmented, and poorly presented plot?

At 4 hours ago, EKublai wrote:

Actually, Renga is a legit form of poetry, and shouldn't be lumped in with the "writing games" that we discourage. I'll probably add something a bit later Anabioo!

I thought that the RPs were actually quite solid (if not banal and cliched) and that the writers actually got better, and actually spent time on their stories.

Still, they are all forum games, son!

At 19 hours ago, Anabioo wrote:

First of all, you selected a very tired theme, and second, the format is homely and too, hmm, interrupting. Too many commas.

He's got a point. This is far too ambitious for such few lines. You took a derivative idea and developed a derivative poem. I think it's because it is so short; there is no room for development or personal style or original imagery--you get the idea.

He's also got a point about the commas. Use commas and stanzas to separate your thoughts and ideas so that the poem not only "flows," but is cohesive.

At 4 hours ago, Anabioo wrote: Wow. Shot down my hopes and dreams, guys. Sheesh.

This ain't the point the writing forum yo!

To your first point: the writing forum has its own rules which is why it's better than general and also less seizure-inducing.

Your second point: if something is fun, the attention it gets is irrelevant.

Third point: the official NG contests had no structure; your story just needed to be relevant and legible. Same thing with the writing forum contests, except they had more theme and a word limit. I have no idea how deathcon's contest will be structured.

At 32 minutes ago, Anabioo wrote: Then again, I am not really sure the forums are really for finished work either (I would put finished work somewhere else, like my blog or in published (print) medium).

Is work ever finished? Even if you think it is, it can still be reviewed and critiqued and even validated.

The NG writing forums are good for what is so characteristic of NG: collaboration. A prime example would be writing of collaborative poetry such as renga. I just started a thread for that specifically. I think forums are good for sport writing -- writing for fun.

Forum games aren't allowed on NG (or so I've heard), especially something like this. The 2-word story, the limericks, and also especially the RPs (role-playing fiction) are heavily discouraged and I think they are also banned. They aren't allowed because they don't stimulate writing talent. If you want to write for fun, then I think posting on your page is where it should go, not on the Writing Forum where attention would be diverted from writers who seek help.

As for writing contests, there were three big ones in July, September, and October (100 dollar first prize). The results to the February 2011 Writing Forum writing contests were finally available a few months ago. Fro supposedly collected the results from the March/April 2011 Writing Contest about 4 weeks ago, but I don't know when the results are coming up. There will probably be a writing contest for Pico Day in April, so mark that on your calender. I think Deathcon is also heading his own Writing contest on the forum. Right now, all we can do is wait and keep writing.

There's a difference between a complete work and work with effort. Even if you're not finished, or you need help revising, you need to put in the effort! Help us help you. I think NG writing forum is one of the writing websites where newbies can learn the ropes and more experienced writers can get help. Writing forum ftw!

I've finished reading your story and I've posted in the thread. The story was actually pretty solid but I think that it suffers too much as a result of the horror genre. That is, it is pretty unoriginal and predictable. However, scariness aside,I think it holds up pretty well and with some light editing and revision, it will be really good and somewhat more shocking.

Well, I like the frame narrative. I think focusing more on Jake and his story is the way to go for most of the piece (maybe 3/4 of it). I don't buy his voice, though; for an English major, he is too mechanical and unconvincing in his explanation; his narrative is also plain and I think you should spruce it up.

For Lister, I think you should tone down the foreshadowing. I also think that treating the piece like a piece on psychiatry and psychology would make the ending more shocking and unexpected. The piece does seem to function only for the shocker at the end, but ultimately, it is too predictable. Also, there is too much telling, but it comes after the showing, which is good because it will be easy to edit. What I mean is that you show us that Jake is scared, and sometimes the reader can infer that Lister is confused or surprised by his questions and dialogue, however, many times you tell us, making it a bit redundant. This isn't really a problem until the second-to-last paragraph, where you tell us he is feeling guilty and ashamed (they are even italicized >.>). The reader already knows that the Mask will come after Lister because he is ashamed.

Anyway, it is solid. There is a lack of conflict throughout most of the piece (most of it is internal for Jake, but it is not apparent til the end; Lister also only feels guilt near the end). Otherwise, I think you can easily buff out those imperfections.

I don't think any prosodic or rhyming structure will help, because whatever purpose you have for this poem, I don't think your audience will care. However, this poem does need more focus. I think adding structure to your idea will strengthen it; that is, go idea/example/example/idea(refrain)/example/example/conclusio n. The poem starts off with an idea, gives commentary and provides examples, but never really moves on from the first idea.

Also, while it is a piece offering a viewpoint, it is too blatant and uneven, and underdeveloped. I think everyone would agree that the world is not perfect, and they would sympathize with despair, but all you do is complain via arcane metaphors and deficient critiques, which are results of forced rhyme. For example, the third line of the last stanza; this is too didactic, but here it is uncertain. The idea that people say one thing but mean another as a result of ulterior motives is oversimplified (which I liked), but ultimately underdeveloped because you are moving too fast and wavering a bit (give the line with a hard punch). Also the poem ends too suddenly. I think it could be longer for all the material and ideas you fit in it.

At A few seconds ago, DeftAndEvil wrote: Hey John

Sorry for the typos; I typed on my phone.

Hey John,

Your story is story longer than expected. I'm currently reading it but I'm only through the first couple of paragraphs (also the redesign really jacked story up I when are they gonna fix this?!?!). I've never liked horror because it's pretty much impossible to write something scary yet realistic enough that the reader becomes scared;I don't think that you have a problem there, but I doappreciate the mood that something fucking crazy is gonna happen butI think it is too blatant.I'll have a full commentary tomorrow.

At 3 hours ago, BubblyMac wrote: Yeah, that's fine. We'll just sit around and wait on you to post your novels and philosophies.

Everybody should just have their own thread to post allof their work.

/hypocrite

I don't post anything because I only trust a few individuals on NG to give me feedback, and get most of my shit done via pm. It's not about attention; I don't want it; I don't care for it; I don't post for attention, unlike some. If you are gonna post something, make sure it's your goddamn best effort.

You're right; everyone should have their own thread to post all of their work, which is something we always tell newcomers. And if all of that work is piece-of-crap-five-minute poetry, with piece-of-crap-five-second commentaries, bogging down the NG writing forum--well, if I feel like complaining about it, I will. It's my right; it's your right to criticize my complaint.

Do you know what a hypocrite is?

Hey, can you guys stop posting poetry? It's pretty lame and there seems to be no real feedback other than "it is nice, but line x needs more flow." The poetry is generic and the feedback is generic; there is no stimulation of the mind, nor is there any fostering of writing talent.

At 8 hours ago, AnarchistAthiest wrote: A german boy in WWII wakes up to find that his sister is missing and has been dragged into a sewer. While in the sewer he enters the depths of hell. He must barter with demon merchants and confront Lucifer himself. Only to find that his sister is the Anti-Christ in the end and must kill her.

It sounds lame because it is too ridiculous. What is this, a black comedy? If not, I stick with my previous notion that it is too nonsensical and will most likely be unfocused.

But then again, you barely posted a few sentences. More info plz.

Please post all of your poems into one thread please. This way, it will be easier to organize your poetry and also the Writing Forum won't get bogged down by all your poems (also you will probably get more traffic). Either way, someone will lock your other posts eventually.

At 4 hours ago, JohnEndel959 wrote:

At 1 hour ago, BubblyMac wrote: Anybody else stockpiling work for this?

This guy! Since the people who frequent the Writing Forum are really the only people who are going to care until it comes out, it gives us a chance to prepare for it. We'll make a strong appearance when it does come out, unlike the submissions from random people seeking attention. Stockpile EVERYTHING!

You shouldn't be stockpiling; you should be refining or consolidating. When the Lit Portal comes out, there will be a bumrush of half-finished, poorly thought-out pieces. The last thing you want is to contribute to the flood or have most of your work buried by your own insistence.

I am focusing on one work and I am polishing the hell out of several of my flash fiction pieces and combining them to a loosely associated collection of very short stories; these will be my first two posts in the Lit Portal when it gets here.

It's too mawkish and arcane yet awfully hackneyed. It doesn't make sense nor have any depth. Why is she so great? Is she really perfect? ("Imperfections" are what make girls unique, special, and lovely, in my opinion. If you could focus on something some would consider an "undesirable" quality and explain why you dig it, it will make her feel as if you actually care and you're not just saying stuff.)

Or you could keep it as it is if you think it's special.

At 1 hour ago, OptimisticOctopus wrote: To be fair, there's a lot of crappy stuff in the movie/game portals as well. That's why we have 'featured' sections. Any reason the Lit portal needs an extra strong emphasis on quality? Is it just to make a good first impression?

Movies and games are difficult to make and require a familiarity with programming and animating and require outside effort and research, unlike basic narrative writing, which most of us learn in school. An average story is much, much, much easier to create than an average movie or game. Anybody can write a narrative, and considering the main demographic of NG, most people's work=crap. You can see where this would be a problem (.... The problem is that if there's too much crap, it won't be taken seriously and it would be a waste of time, whereas a writing forum is sufficient to foster creativity, development, and construction, and a bit of exposure).

We need more information, please. Such as:

Are you an animator, game designer, programmer, what?
Who else you've got lined up for the project?
Deadlines, restrictions?
What is the intention (just to post it on NG)?

Also, it would be nice if you could tell us why we should work with you. What's your experience? Have you done something like this before? You know, help us help you.

At 2 hours ago, JohnEndel959 wrote: Speaking of the redesign, are they going to add more auras? I didn't see one I really like...

We are all melancholy that there are no auras for writers.

Quickly: the satire is too black and patent to the point where it is ineffective (and also not very incisive, since it is a bit silly and petty); either go for comedy or go for commentary because with something so short, it's hard to hit both.

Also: either I am becoming dyslexic, or the writing is becoming really hard to read. I can't stay with it. I've never blamed distractions or wall-of-texts for making a piece unreadable, but goddamn! Btw, I hate the aesthetic of the redesign; maybe I'll get used to it. Better start reading some stories.

I am still rooting for a Lit Portal, but I think we wouldn't know what to do with it. I assume our biggest concern is too much crap, not enough refined, well-thought-out literature; in addition, the influx of crap will become so great that the Lit Portal will implode and no one will take it seriously.

And it does worry me. However, I don't think NG has anything in development, which worries me more. I agree with Deathcon that we have to earn it, but I don't think NG even takes the Writing Forum seriously, as many of the "best" animators simply write their own script; this has always bothered me: NG simply relies too much on asinine bullshit and will never be ready for serious work (not as in solemn; as in thought-out and open to constructive criticism).

If there is a sort of "scouting" method, as with the Art Portal, I think that writers who come in, looking to post crap, would be weeded out. Which brings me to the delicate conundrum:

NG needs more writers to produce a bigger body of marketable work. However, most of the writers coming in are too inexperienced and (here's the kicker) unwilling to stay to improve or unwilling to concede to criticism. So, they all leave, and the Writing Forum is just one vicious circle of writers trying to stay together but never unifying.

Also, if the Lit Portal succumbs to the same attitude that plagues NG, I am out. If the Lit Portal entails that, I am more than satisfied with the Writing Forum.

IN A LESS SOMBER AND WHINY NOTE:
here'sthe link to the MWC HQ.

Again, writers get no love. No Lit Portal--hell, there isn't even an aura for writers; all we can pick is melancholy.