This is a true story. This morning I was playing with my Barbie dolls, and Malibu Stacey was just about to marry Ken when I heard some little kids playing outside. I immediately turned down my Justin Timberlake CD and peaked out the window trying not to let them see me in the event that they might be big enough to beat me up. After noticing it was two little 5 year old boys I got up enough courage to start some shit with them. I took off my pink Rainbow Britney spears shirt and put on a tougher looking black shirt, trying to stall time hoping that one of the 5 year olds would leave so I wouldn't be outnumbered, finally one did. I walked outside and looked around to make sure none of his friends were nearby. When I noticed him holding a green Power Ranger toy I told him: "The green Power Ranger is gay! Tommy the white Ranger could kick his butt any day of the week! Jerk!" I stuck out my tongue at him and took two steps back in case he tried to hit me. Tucking in his shirt he replied: "You're a fucking faggot!"
My mouth dropped open as a screamed: "I'm telling your Mom!" I started running towards his house to tattletale when he threw the green Power Ranger toy at me, it hit me in the back and I fell to the floor crying my eyes out. I could see him walking towards me so I wiped the snot off my face and ran to my house carrying his Power Ranger toy. I ran to my room and got my white Power Ranger toy and made the little 5 year old kid watch in horror as I made Tommy beat up his stupid gay green toy. I was like, "Bam! Bam! Take that Bam! OW! Bam!" banging them together and making them punch each other. The kid looked at me and said, "you're a teenage boy and you act like this?"
I threw the toys down and ran over to the kid and pushed him down to the ground screaming, "No I'm not! Shut up! You are!" Then he started getting up so I ran in my house and locked the door. I was making faces at him out the window saying, "I beat you up, nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo!" He threw a rock and broke my window. I said, "ooooooooooooh, I'm telling!" Then I heard a man's voice say, "No need to, I saw the whole thing!" It was the kid's dad, he beat the fuck out of me.
But here's the best part, and he didn't even know this, but as I was laying there on my side holding my stomach, I flipped the kid's dad off as he walked away! (Don't tell him tough.) Haha that's what they get for messing with me!