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At 6/15/13 10:50 AM, CanadianHoneybadger wrote: And I just saw the programming errors that are in here, WTF word!? eugh sorry guys just try to ignore them, they weren't there when I originally posted and this sort of sh%t doesn't get fixed easily.

That's not a word problem, it's a quotation bug here in the forum (happens to me as well when I first send my entry to the last writing contest).

For all I can read you present us a nice little dialogue scene, it's hard to tell you more since I didn't know more about your story so far.

At 6/2/13 07:42 AM, 4urentertainment wrote: Contest thread:

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1341286

Let the discussion action begin!

Is it possible to enter the contest with some kind of a poem or do you only allow short-stories?

At 6/11/13 12:47 AM, SoundarK wrote: Man i'm so happy i could die in this moment. Let's keep working!!

No, no, don't die, we want to see how the story continues! Yeah, keep working :D
Kudos for your daily award - well deserved!

At 6/10/13 02:25 AM, Darkcursing wrote: I'm still studying in secondary school and i got A for my english so u can't expect me to be good in writting a novel or story without having any grammar error or missing word

Actually, I care more for the content of a story then for the right grammar, my only concern about your text is, well, it's like a brick of words. Use some interruptions, and I'm sure even more people will read your work :)
As a Sci-Fi-fan, I personally like your little story!

At 6/3/13 12:05 AM, Luke wrote: I love the concept of this one, I will be participating :)

Wow, great story! Did you make this up in a couple of hours or do you had this story already written once?
Really good, I highly doubt I can mess with your skills!

At 6/10/13 12:47 PM, Asandir wrote:

That happens with other stuff that isn't adult too though but I can understand the frustration to get a lower score than a short adult 3D flash with less effort.

Agreed. As an adult, I have no problem with adult content here, it's just part of NG.

But "BackDoor - Door 1" is a great submission in my eyes, and when a creative game like this ends up behind a 16 second 3D clip, well, that must be damn frustrating for the creator.
At least it got frontpaged :)

Hmm, I know this is a poem, but when I read it, it almost felt like.. lyrics?

I acctually think this would be a good songtext! JMHO.

At 5/27/13 08:03 AM, 4urentertainment wrote:
HAUNTED...? by CrackerJack30

"in the paragraphs that a written down" should be are written down

"who never ever bend the law a little" should be bent or bends

"I have let so many interrogation"

Normally minor proofreading errors don't really bother me, but there were more than a couple in your story, which sort of detracted away from it and broke the immersion, so I think proofreading your story before submitting it would help. Also consider not using "wanna" and "gonna", unless it's a character talking, to perhaps emphasize the way he speaks or pronounces things.

With that said, I really loved the twist of the ending! I never considered that houses could ever feel that way about being haunted. I like the idea and think it could be expanded upon, and properly structured.

Hello Omar,

that's the problem when you are not a native-speaker and only have 2 hours to write a story for a contest ;)

I agree with you, too many errors, and (what's even worse in my eyes) it should have been longer and more structured. However, there were only a couple of entries to this point and I just want to give it a shot. Sometimes, when you do that, you miss the aim :[

Thanks anyway for the feedback, I appreciate any critic as long as it's constructive (which yours is).
Good luck for your future projects.

At 6/3/13 10:53 AM, TomFulp wrote:

I'm never very good at making these posts so I'll just leave you with this video that speaks better than I can:

Must be damn hard to write these lines for you, Tom. Thanks for letting us know.
Rest in Peace, Chance. Your work will never be forgotton within the NG-Community

At 5/24/13 03:00 PM, TomFulp wrote: Check out the results for the April Writing Contest!

Thank you 4urentertainment for organizing this contest. Did you ever play Concerned Joe?
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/582116
It was programmed by 4urentertainment and he is working on a BIG VERSION and it is getting some hype!

So also FOLLOW 4URENTERTAINMENT, he only has 105 fans on NG despite all his great contest organizing and game making.

Caught me off guard there, of course I will folllw him, why haven't I considered that myself yet ?!
D'oh !

Congratulations & kudos to all the winners, especially to BoobMarley, I agree that his story was the best in the contest!

Ok, I'm a bit sad that I didn't reach the Top 5, I will not lie about that. Still, I'm glad that I joined the contest. If you never try, you never ever even have the chance to win sometimes.

Cheers to ya all,
Frank (aka CrackerJack30)

At 5/19/13 09:16 PM, Adam-Beilgard wrote: CrackerJack30 "Haunted...?"

A neat twist on the traditional haunted house story. The house itself is sentient and punishes the lawyer, very creative! I found out quickly that I'm not supposed to feel any pathos for the lawyer - good job depicting a jerk there. What I could have used more of was the house as the protagonist. Considering the way things ended up, I wanted to feel sorry for the house, but the twist was over too soon!

A little more time developing the characters we identify with, and this can really speak to people on a personal level.

I'm glad you went with the haunted house, even after the warnings not to! I look forward to seeing you in the next contest!

Hi Adam,

thank you for your review!
I'm glad you liked the twist and you characterized the lawyer just right - he is a jerk ;)

To make the final twist a, well, twist I didn't want to mention the house and it's behavior too soon.
I understand why you think the second part of the story was over too soon, maybe even the first part could have been a little longer, but time was running through my hands like sand, so damn fast that I was just happy that I could complete the story before the deadline was over. That's just me and my good ole' timing problems >.<

The reader should indeed feel more sentiment for the house then for it's inhabitants (thus, the humans have no names), yet I will think about your comment about character development for the future.
And yes, I hope I can join some contests the next time they're around :D

One question: Do you think I went a little to philosophical in the final scene? Cause that's what a friend told me.

Cheers,
Frank aka CrackerJack30

Well, as long as our rusty companion didn't tell us the Top 5, allow me to do so:

1. Narutoe Shitpoodamn (movie, naruto parody)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/617458

2.Feed me MOAR! (game, physics puzzle)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/617502

3. POKEMON Z (movie, Pokemon / Dragonball Z crossover)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/617476

4. Mars Colonies (game, Real-time Strategy)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/617460

5.Unfreeze me 2 (game, physics puzzle)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/617448

Please watch or play and vote for them, just because P-Bot doesn't work right doesn't mean that those submissions don't deserve our attention :)

At 5/6/13 06:37 PM, shortstorywriter wrote: I hope you guys aren't getting annoyed at this, but here's another.

I can't speak for the community, but I personally don't get annoyed, I like your stories. I just finished to read "One of a Kind", and I like the dark mood of it.
Two minor typos (End of the first paragraph: " [...] had been was burned into my memory." / in the middle of the fifth: "[...] never too upset of angry."), that I just mention so you can see I really read it ;)

The only thing you might wanna change is the start, 'cause you repeat "city" and "most" in the first two sentences:
" I walked through the ashes of the tattered and torn city, with the remains of the decaying skeleton of the city around me. The bomb had leveled most of the city, most of what was left had been burned to the ground, and all of the rest was badly battered and bruised."

For example, you may wanna try this:
"I walked through the ashes of the tattered and torn city, surrounded by the remains, as if I would cross a decaying skeleton. The bomb had leveled most of the urban structures, nearly everything that was left had been burned to the ground, and all of the rest was badly battered and bruised."

Just a thought I want to share with you, 'cause I can see that you have some talent there! I don't wanna discourage you, on the contrary, I just wanna try to help you. :D
Hope to read more form you!

You wrote that we should "stay away from 'Haunted House' stories, but I won't say that you can't do that. Of course, if you do it well (put an original spin on the cliche), there's no reason why you can't place well."

Those words brought the idea for this story to my mind, I tried a little twist and add something new to this genre.

____________________________________________________

HAUNTED...?

I can't get out!

Man, it's even hard to breath right now. My heart is pounding like a rusty steam-engine, and I can feel the pain rush through my tortured body.
My vision... It's all blurry again, and I don't know why. I never had problems with my eyes before, could always see like a hawk in midair.
It's this house, I know you won't believe me, but it's the truth! I don't believe in ghost stories, heck, I'm a lawyer for crying out loud!
I believe in the law, in the paragraphs that a written down, not in some spooky nonsense. Yes, I would consider myself a man of reality, the hard facts of life. Well, I guess it's fair to say that I'm not a "good" man, like the old folks always say. Nah, that ain't me. I wanna have some success in this life, and can you name one successful lawyer who never ever bend the law a little?
Bribe a judge, threaten a member of the jury or a witness that saw to much in the wrong moment? Come on, that's part of the buisness.
So why the hell have I been cursed? Why do I have to accidentally buy a - I can't believe I'm even saying this - haunted house?!

It was so cheap to buy this building, that's why I even take a look on it. An old manor, outside of the town, quiet neighbourhood, only an old lady that lives in a rundown farmhouse next to mine.
Since this residence was in such a good condition and the location was outstanding, I knew from the beginning that something was wrong. And so I told my real estate agent he should tell me the cold truth about it. Boy, he was shocked, immediately starts some babbling about the stock market, and the commercial crisis, no one has the money to buy such wonderful manors anymore and so on. Oh, he tried his best, but I have let so many interrogations, I just know when someone lies to me. Of course he didn't gave up, he just changes his modus operandi (I do that in court every now and then, sometimes it helps). So the real estate agent put up quite a story to still sell the manor to me. Once a happy family lifed here, he told me in his best creepy voice, maybe thinking I would care for such a crappy Halloween show.
All was just fine until one day dad found out the mom didn't pay the babysitter just for sittin' the babies if you know what I mean.
Dad went a little over the top when he found them in their bedroom, seems like he went completely nuts, and thus he killed them all, Mom, the sitter, the kids, and finally himself.
It must have been quite a bloodbath here, and it took a while till the cops found the bodys. Must be a rather harsh day for them I bet!
Ever since the people told each other that "this old manor is cursed!". Can you believe this rubbish?
Shush, we're living in the 21th century, dammit!
I don't mind the chitchat, I was just glad to buy this great estate for a low price, so low that in fact every honest man would've been ashamed I guess.

I moved in just before I start to defend this contract killer. Yeah, yeah, I know what you wanna say, how can someone do this, help a killer blah blah, keep it to yourself. If HE didn't do the job, another one will. And If I didn't defend him, some other attorney would have done it.
It's all part of the system, so deal with it!
On the day of my final speech, I woke up in a real good mood 'cause i know we gonna win this! But when I want to leave my house - I simply can't! The doors won't open, I can't get through the windows, none of my phones work and no one seems to hear my yelling.
God, I must have screamed the entire first day. But after a while, I realized it was useless. Why didn't anyone answer me? Why didn't anyone call me? Why should the judge not yet have send a police patrol to get me to the courtouse?

And why can't I get out here?

At first, I lost my feeling for time and space. Sometimes I turned around in brightest day, and suddently, it was darkest night. I was in the bedroom upstairs, but then I stood in the kitchen downstairs. Without a clue, how I even get there. Or when. Or why.
I lost my senses. I can hardly see, just like I told you before. Sometimes I think I'm deaf, then again, I hear voices. I can hear myself speak, but do I really speak when no one can hear me? What is smelling so sweet here, and why do I taste iron?
One night, I swear I saw the contract killer I used to defend on my terrace, he broke in through the backdoor and started to search in my house.
He searched for me, I guess. Simply 'cause I didn't show up in court, must have given him a hard time to find a new attorney. Guess he came to do his buisness, and kill me. I felt that, but I didn't hide. I even called him, but again, time seem to slip and it was morning again. He was gone. Was he even ever there or do I lose my mind?!

And once I thought I saw a family visiting the house, my house, to buy it, but how can they even sell it? I live here, dammit! I tried to talk to them, I screamed and begged, but only their child, a 3 or 4 year old girl, seem to notice me, and she was so scared that she just ran out, crying like the devil was about to catch her poor soul. Maybe she was right...
Her parents followed her outside, puzzled, as well as my former real estate agent. I tried to grab him by the shoulder, but the only result was that I grabbed right through him. After that he turned around and looked horrified.
But not at me, he... gaze right throught me, as if an unholy wind has passed him and made him shiver for a second.
None of them came back in. Never.
And I can't leave. It's this damn haunted house!

I will never get out here...

*

In the nighttime. When the humans sleep, they speak to each other. For our ears, it just sounds like the crackle of wood that houses tend to make in dark.
"Why me", the manor said in his deep, sad voice. "Oh, why me?"
The farmhouse creaked in the silence of a cloudy night.
"You know why. You shouldn't have done it!"
The moon rises, and send his pale light through holes in the bank of clouds, down on the roof shingles.
"The whole family that lived here was killed by their own father. So much pain, so much sadness, and I felt it all when the blood run down on my floors, my stairs, dripping through the decks. My heart was broke!"
A cat passes between the two houses, looking up at them, knowing that they talk. The cats knew this secret ever since, even though they can't understand the estates, they know more then the humans about it.
"I know what you mean", was the farmhouses answer, and it speaks in a soft voice, "and you are honest. But still, what you did was wrong. It is not our task to decide what will happen. We just exist, we don't judge the builders."
When the cat snuggles itself against the drip rail of the manor, the estate mumbles in the darkness, and the cat growls back, before it ran away to the dimmed light of a lamppost across the street.
"He was about to save a killer, a murderer of innocent souls", the manor said with an angry voice. "I couldn't let that happen. Not after all what I have seen and what I have felt!
So I dropped an old, small balk on his head when he woke up in his bed. I just want to stop him, I always forget how fragile humans are. I didn't want him to die!"
A strong wind started to blow the clouds away, and gave a free sight to the endless stars, to distant galaxies.
"What you did was wrong", the farmhouse simply repeated.
"But I didn't mean to kill him! I can hear him scream again, right now. But no one else can her him, see him. Only I have to suffer!
He will haunt me forever...

I can't get him out!"

____________________________________________

At 5/2/13 10:40 AM, insert-brain-here wrote: Dammmittttt, so close to getting top 5.

Next time I'll get number 1.

I admit, those Versus Cartoons are kinda funny. No doubt. But then again, they are made with a commercial background, as a promotion, and not from a young or independent artist.
Still, no problem, as long as they are not flooding the portal.

Sadly, it's a bit too much at the moment for my taste. Why don't they submit just 1 each day?
Especially since without them, insert-brain-here would (most likely) won the daily 5th place. No big deal you may think, but I am pretty sure that would motivate him more and strenghten his confidence.
And NG needs motivated new animators for the sake of the community!
jmo, no hate there, but I have to agree with BoobMarley statement: " Takes publicity away from fresher (but not necessarily better) content."

At 4/30/13 01:56 PM, Wegra wrote: COLRUS was a pretty damn interesting game.

Congrats to everyone else

True, and Mono Caves was an interesting Ludum Dare entry as well !

At 4/29/13 04:02 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: Wasn't too hyped up with today's Versus animation, but the rest were great. The balding god and dojo battle are definite favorites, congrats to the winners!

I agree with you about the Versus animations, CD, I guess after so many episodes it's hard to find fresh ideas.

Congratulations to the winners indeed, yet I'll have to say that the hilarious "Tropes vs Men in Games" and the wonderful "Monster next door" would have deserved a daily award, too.

In fact, I'm sure they've got the potential to reach top places on a weaker NG-day.

At 3/11/13 06:43 PM, MysticSkillz wrote: Congrads to top winners. I did not think I'll even get picked. But what I don't get is how did Twerk get second over Most Beautiful Teen? Are they really viewing these movies or just random picking?

Sorry mate, what do you mean with "picking"?
Those movies and games aren't picked by any jury or the Fulpster himself, they are all "Under Judgment" at first, and as soon as they successfully passed it, our rusty, trusty friend P-bot sorts them - the higher the votes, the better the place.
So, we all kinda decide where they stand the next day :)
And BTW, I enjoyed your movie, and who knows? Maybe next time you'll win a daily award :D

At 2/22/13 06:14 PM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 2/22/13 03:51 PM, Viper50 wrote: The medals didn't show up on my profile after I get them though.
I should have gotten 3 but nothing changed.

Yeah... why is that? Is this a bug that affects all new games now or just a selected few? I thought they just weren't showing up on my page because I made it *hrmm hrmm, shameless advertising* or because it's still UJ. All of them are tested though, work fine.

I've got the same problems with the medals for "Nemesis", I got almost all of them, they popped-up in-game and are shown under the game as unlocked, but not in my profile.
That really bugs me, never had these issues before :-\

At 2/13/13 02:18 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: I suppose it depends on the project. There is one thread I know of like that, but it's not direct advertisement, so maybe that's the reason it's been deemed acceptable. It probably depends on the project and/or cause..

In your news posts you can post pretty much anything. That's your area. You could also add a link to the post in your signature, or if you have the time, make a presentation in flash to advertise it. Submissions may not be simple ads, but a real presentation should be more than that. Good luck with the funding!

Thanks for your answer, buddy, good thing I can count on you :)
It's a Steampunk-MMO (well, that's what it should be when it's finished) based on a Table-Top game. Like I mentioned, I wrote the background for it, that's why I would like to share it here on NG.

Since it's not a flash-project, and no one else responded to this post here, I guess it's better to just post something im my news section.
Again, thx Cyberdevil !

Hi there,

I currently support an kickstarter project as author and editor, and I would like to put a link and some information about the game in in a forum topic and in my account news.

My question: Can I do that or does that interfere with the NG terms of use?
It's an Indie-team with a lot of heart, no big commercial company or anything. I would be glad if a Mod could answer me that question.

Thank you guys!

I know everyone is amped about Tom's new game (and I understand that 100%) but please take a closer look on the other submissions today!

This was one of the best NG days imho, the runners-up on place 6-10 could have easily get a daily award on another day!

At 1/20/13 01:57 AM, Fatelogic wrote: Glad to see all that effort paid off in the end.

For those who supported the project and/or liked the game, thanks a bunch! :D

I didn't support it or like it that much (voted 3/5) but...

For those who can't belive it managed to get "Daily Feature"... get over it, you'll live xD

... you are right, there is nothing you have to be sorry about. No one is forced to watch anything on NG!

Fate out!

Jack in! Good luck for the future!

Wow a real gaming day, can't remember when I see no movie in the Top 10 before! O.o

Anyway, congrats to the winners, great to have such a variety of different games on a single day :)

At 9/14/12 06:52 AM, Emrox wrote: Better than the whole last week

It's indeed a bit sad that Eddsworld, Kawaii, RicePirate AND an entire Collab get here at the very same day !
If these submissions would have entered NG day by day I guess all of 'em would habe been daily first or second.

Only movies in the Top 10, not that it's bad, but I can't remember when I saw that the last time!

All those NATA 2012 entries (not only today, in the entire last week) are really good, very different in story and sytle.
I have to say that it's almost impossible to pick a winner for me !

I have to give the runners-up credit for their work! kudos to them!

Some very funny parodies / flashmovies and an interesting work of art (A State of Mind), most of this submissions would have win a daily award when there were submited on a different day, I think. jmho.