What would I do without Mr. Wade Fulp to provide me with a non-stop source of misinformed, offensive crusades to complain about? Let us note first of all that I, for one, don't need to be particularly delicate here. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Wade in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that we can divide Wade's memoranda into three categories: contemptible, bestial, and aberrent. I'm not very conversant with his background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that Wade says he's going to confuse, befuddle, and neutralize public opposition quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "electrophysiologically". Good old Wade. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how morbid they sound. Replace intellectual integrity with narrow-minded sloganeering if you like, Wade, because I simply don't care. Yes, you heard me right; some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, I unquestionably suspect that he is completely unaware of the difference between a correlation and a causation. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that the first lies that he told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; Wade's lies will grow until they blot out the sun. Now stay with me a moment here; I am making a point. Specifically, I am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Wade. Here's what I have to say to them: If I had to choose the most loathsome specimen from Wade's welter of picayunish gabble, it would have to be Wade's claim that you and I are morally inferior to what I call gloomy humanity-haters.
Wade's hastily mounted campaigns have paid off: Already, Wade has had some success in his efforts to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but I have never been in favor of being gratuitously cocky. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to enable patriots to use their freedoms to save their freedoms. In any case, if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that he is a perpetual victim of injustice, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Prodigal Rhetoric. In the meantime, there's an important difference between me and Wade. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Wade, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to instill distrust and thereby create a need for his feckless views.
If Wade were to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that Wade's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. He and his slaves are the most lackadaisical cutthroats you'll ever see. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis. Wade writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that Wade says that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that I don't see how he can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that Wade's claim that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity, but an assault on the human mind.
In the past, people like Wade would have been tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail for trying to make incorrect leaps of logic. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it's because there's something fishy about his machinations. I think Wade's up to something, something parasitic and perhaps even antihumanist. Who is he to say that truth is merely a social construct? We must also assert with all the sincerity of informed experience and the desperate desire to see our beloved country survive that Wade insists that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates.
Wade should have been removed from the gene pool before he had a chance to contaminate it. That is to say, Wade motivates people to join his band by using words like "humanity", "compassion", and "unity". This is a great deception. What Wade really wants to do is crush people to the earth and then claim the right to trample on them forever because they are prostrate. That's why as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the sorts of people Wade preys upon. He confuses entertainment with learning. What are the lessons for us in this? First, it's that his lackeys are froward at best, the downfall of society at worst. And second, if he gets his way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of barbarism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that Wade demands obeisance from his peons. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Wade forces them to grant a free ride to the undeserving. I could be wrong about any or all of this, but at the moment, the above fits what I know of history, people, and current conditions. If anyone sees anything wrong or has some new facts or theories on this, I'd love to hear about them.
