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At 11/12/13 10:40 AM, GingerBaron wrote: I have played the game since beta but only a few games at a time. My personal favourite character is windrunner for her utility.

However I am awful at looking at my keyboard when playing cause my brains forgets where my hand is...
Also I've been thinking about getting a mouse with buttons on the side, can anybody recommend said mice?

My husband allways plays with a Razor brand mouse. Some of them are designed for gaming. Me? Well i have a £10 Tesco's own, and it suits me just fine!

OO la la! Dota 2!
I play support like a baws! Back when warlock was IMBA and nobody realised, i'd rape the hell out of peeps.
Do have to hate when you gots a complete arse on your team who rages at you all like "FFF SHADWO SHAMN PLZ RPORT NO ULTEH B;LOOP" But then types "EZ" in all-chat once we win.
Anywhos, anyone wanna play with meeee!? Add my steam account 'shayla bot' or 'Chillichill' or PM me on NG!
And we shalt brave the pub match... TOGETHER! Hazar!

Whilst i do agree to the fact that the writing forum has it's own cricket chorus due to it's utter lack of interest and writers, i'm also unsure if the portal would turn our quaint forum into a dumping ground. I mean, look at DeviantArt - it's awful. Truly. Horrific.
Then again it would be nice to get more attention to the writers and attract more critics and writers who take it seriously. It is afterall, an art form just like audio or flash. *shrug*

I back this idea because writers deserve it. I only hope that there are no serious consequences.

At 3/5/13 11:59 AM, silverspecks wrote:

At 3/5/13 08:33 AM, ChiiFace wrote:

P.S. I am currently in connection with Silverspecs who has decided to campaign for writing. We will be creating art works in relation to our stories so keep your eye out for our art and our campaign on the art forum coming at some point. <3

It's all about the prep work at this point. I'm glad to see back on the NG forums ChiiFace.

It's nice to be back. Let me know if you need my help or want me to do anything.

I've been AFK for a while, with a creative sickness. Though recently i've done more editing on my writing project thanks to recent feedback and critique. I hope to get more though, and ask anyone who is interested to help me improve so i can continue this book. The blurb to Lamp Lighters can be found below with a link to my blog and current story. I hope to get some feedback and want to thank you for your time - Keep it up writing forum!!

"There is a legend that tells of two heroes. Selrah, hero of the darkness and Fellis, hero of the light. As the legend goes, the two had come to a disagreement and the world was cast into infinite darkness. Who do you think won?"
"Selrah?"
"Sweetheart, as dark as our world may seem there is always light seeping through the cracks. You only need to know where to find it."
"But the world is infinite darkness."
"Do not be blinded, Ellet. The war is not yet over."
My name is Ellet Wilson and I am 18 years old. My mother would tell me stories of legends that gave me hope. It's funny how hope in anything becomes stronger in times of distress. There is a breaking point, when all hope is lost. But as she used to say, the war is not yet over.

A "Tolkienesque pastiche" Post-Apocolyptic story of survival, drama, love and friendship. Click here for a read of Chapter One and partly Chapter Two.

Thanks again,

ChiiFace.

P.S. I am currently in connection with Silverspecs who has decided to campaign for writing. We will be creating art works in relation to our stories so keep your eye out for our art and our campaign on the art forum coming at some point. <3

What is this? I don't get its purpose. The comment above me is spot on. This person is too unreal. Your perfect girl? Whatever it is, it doesn't work. Everyone has flaws and it's the flaws that make the character an individual who is interesting.

I love the first song, the rythm of the words work really well. I could easily put a tune to them without diffeculty because it just works! I'm not a song writer so sorry i can't better criticise. I only know the first one is my favourite! :)
As for the last song, the last two lines, PM me and i'll tell ya the answers ;)

Hey.
I like it, you make it so i allways want to keep reading. Just a few points.
" The towel was soaked with whatever I dried off myself..." Sometimes your sentances are a bit strange. With whatever i dried off myself? I'm guessing that's the rain? It took a while for my brain to understand the sentance. If it's the rain we're talking about, does she need to explain it is a 'whatever', we're pretty sure it was raining earlier unless it was raining meatballs, maybe a sentance a little simpler would help like. "The towel was soaking wet, so i folded it and.. etc" Or maybe it's just a grammar miss?
Also "She quickly seen how her two sisters had warmed up to me..." the comment above me hit the nail. Careful of your tenses. Is this supposed to be "She quickly saw"? Perhaps just a quick read through and touch up is all you need. :)
Speaking of warming up to you, it's strange how the two girls warm up to you then don't say a word later on at bedtime. Is this part of the story? After they had warmed up to you and told you they didn't know where they lived etc it's hard to imagine them being quiet again but perhaps its for a reason?
Anyway hope my comments helped in some way. Keep it up.

At 2/22/13 04:37 PM, silverspecks wrote: Read chapter two, still doing good! I loved the way you describe the moment of darkness. I'd like to know what the "spanner" is/looks like.

Spanner? Hahaha! I'm from UK, where you come from its Wrench? :p
About the 'whilst' you're very right. And i'll keep it in mind when i'm going through and editing. Thanks a billion for having a look - really appreciate it!

I really want to read this but at the same time i really dont want a Deviant Art account. I have to sign up to read it because of the mature filter. :/ Is there anyway to change that?

Chapter Two is now half way done, it's up aswell.

At 2/20/13 05:35 PM, silverspecks wrote: For as far as I've gotten, I have enjoyed reading it. You do an excellent job of portraying scenes and it reads very well. My only suggestion is that you might consider using paragraph breaks when shifting between the dialoque of different characters. That's just usually how it's been done in most books I've read. Doing a great job.

Could not agree more. I had that pointed out to me last night aswell. So i've just been through quickly. My writing is improving as i go and i'm still learning. I'll remember it during chapter two, thanks so much for the read and the suggestion! Really appreciate it.

For all new interesti have changed the blurb and tweaked the story. I don't know how to delete posts so i'll just mention the new blurb. The link to my blog is still the same. I am so damn indecisive.

"There is a legend that tells of two heroes. Selrah, hero of the darkness and Fellis, hero of the light. As the legend goes, the two had come to a disagreement and the world was cast into infinite darkness. Who do you think won?"
"Fellis?"
"Sweetheart, as dark as our world may seem there is always light seeping through the cracks. You only need to know where to find it."
"But the world is infinite darkness."
"Do not be blinded, Ellet. The war is not yet over."
My name is Ellet Wilson and I am 18 years old. My mother would tell me stories of legends that gave me hope. ItâEUTMs funny how hope in anything becomes stronger in times of distress. There is a breaking point, when all hope is lost. But as she used to say, the war is not yet over.

At 2/20/13 04:31 AM, ChiiFace wrote: So i thought of posting my fan-fic up here then decided i'd rather get some criticism for my more serious work.

After spending some time on these forums i've come to the conclusion that NG writing forum is an awful place to copy and paste your work onto. The colours alone make it diffecult to read and don't get me started on the punctuation bug.

I've read the forum rules, i'm posting a link to my blog. It's much easier on the eyes.

Here is the blurb for Lamp Lighters, if you wish to read on, please click here.

"It was five days before anyone knew what was happening. On the sixth day more than half of the countryâEUTMs population were completely wiped out. Before the week was out, no human above the age of 20 stood alive. The sheer shock that erupted from those few days brought chaos and outcry to a world on the brink of peace. We all watched, helpless, as our society disintegrated into nothing. Desolation and ruin replaced families and homes. The sobs of children drowned the nights, months after, and after the sobs came the silence of survivors. What is the first thing a child would do in a situation like this? When the bodies of your ancestors lay waste in the streets, in the shops, in our homes? In the weeks coming to pass, children began to starve and die. Then sure enough they began to fight and survive as their fathers would have. My name is Ellet Wilson and I am 18 years old. I will assure our survival."

At 2/20/13 11:20 AM, silverspecks wrote: Hey! "Lamp Lighters" can still make for a killer story. Don't get caught up on not being the first to think of this idea. I'm sure "The Girl Who Owned a City" wasn't the first/isn't the only one of its kind either. The Newgrounds writing board isn't really a place to get stories published. It's a place to showcase our practice and get feedback to become better. And besides, original ideas these days are a rarity anyhow. I still want to read this story ChiiFace. But classes are starting soon, so in a bit.

Thanks so much Silverspecks! I've thought about what you've said and you're right. I will tweak the concept a little but the story is still there. I'm changing the blurb aswell. And the title. But i'm not starting from scratch. Have fun in class! (if that is at all possible) I look forward to your feedback.

Infact, I do have another concept. I wonder if i could merge the story so far. This requires more thought.

You have GOT to be kidding me.
Well i've never read the book but that's my concept down the drain. Months of work pretty much wasted. *Sigh* Back to the drawing board.
Thanks, my story is pretty much the book your brother read. Slight differences but same idea. Sucks someone had it first. Ah well.

So i thought of posting my fan-fic up here then decided i'd rather get some criticism for my more serious work.

After spending some time on these forums i've come to the conclusion that NG writing forum is an awful place to copy and paste your work onto. The colours alone make it diffecult to read and don't get me started on the punctuation bug.

I've read the forum rules, i'm posting a link to my blog. It's much easier on the eyes.

Here is the blurb for Lamp Lighters, if you wish to read on, please click here.

"It was five days before anyone knew what was happening. On the sixth day more than half of the countryâEUTMs population were completely wiped out. Before the week was out, no human above the age of 20 stood alive. The sheer shock that erupted from those few days brought chaos and outcry to a world on the brink of peace. We all watched, helpless, as our society disintegrated into nothing. Desolation and ruin replaced families and homes. The sobs of children drowned the nights, months after, and after the sobs came the silence of survivors. What is the first thing a child would do in a situation like this? When the bodies of your ancestors lay waste in the streets, in the shops, in our homes? In the weeks coming to pass, children began to starve and die. Then sure enough they began to fight and survive as their fathers would have. My name is Ellet Wilson and I am 18 years old. I will assure our survival."

Agreed.

I think it's good. It's just description though.
I began reading and then wondered if perhaps you had swallowed a thesaurus? Although your words are impressive, you should use them more sparingly so my brain has time to comprehend what is actually happening, and not trying desperately to work out all the words and put them into vivid picture.
Just let my eyes breath.
I'm not trying to slate you, i honestly think your vocab is impressive. Just trying to help you :)
Keep it up

This would be a lot easier to read if not for all the errors - fancy going through it and fixing all the punctuation?

At 2/18/13 07:23 AM, grachamoncha wrote:

At 2/18/13 07:09 AM, grachamoncha wrote: So, I'm seriously considering creating a novel here. This is my concept notes. Advice? Opinions? Suggestions? I plan to write it in a Song of Ice and Fire kind of way were it focuses in on one character per chapter.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GqAn_mEMm7VCsOeIUHhRn7-t QaatSK8yj7Zy4iaZ9to/edit?overridemobile=true#

Corrected link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GqAn_mEMm7VCsOeIUHhRn7-t QaatSK8yj7Zy4iaZ9to/edit?usp=sharing

I think it sounds awesome. I'm getting a feel for your story already. Don't really get the comment above? I can't see anything wrong with posting a google link - it's so much easier on the eyes.
But anyway, your race concepts are interesting. Be careful of cliches (although impossible to avoid) you dont want people guessing before you've finished. Although i'm sure you're aware. In my opinion: Do it!
P.s. your writing style is refreshing. Even though its only concept notes, you have a a way with putting words. :/

At 2/19/13 12:19 PM, silverspecks wrote: I want to share my vision of Cybercity Newgrounds with the rest of you. I feel it would aid any of my readers in "seeing" the story if they had an idea of what the city looked like. I spent many hours recently creating the basic layout of the residential and heavy industry level. There are no buildings in the pic, but I think it's worthwhile seeing the city without them because when they get added alot of the ground details will be covered up. I'll post a smaller version below. For a closer look, here's a link. If it doesn't work you can access it from my user page. I have yet to be scouted. What do you guys think?

Sorry just a P.S :
To add to my earlier point, you mentioned you want to aid readers into picturing your world. As i fully back your idea of illustration, i think you need to be careful you don't become lazy with your words and skip description for illustration. Like i say, i want to read your work THEN agree with your illustrations. Not see your illustrations then understand your story concept. Hope this makes sense.

I congratulate you!
Your writing made me smile several times and even chuckle out loud! You have a knack for being funny.
I could picture this as a flash! I'm not sure if that is what you had in mind but it was like reading a flash animation. I knew what was happening and as a result i knew when to laugh.
One thing i would pick on is your grammar. Run it through word doc and try to get rid of some of those green squiggly lines. Don't get me wrong, none of us are perfect and i'm not a grammar nazi. Just a bit of advice. ^^

I honeslty look forward to reading more. Your humour is proberbly too similar to mine. :p

At 2/19/13 05:26 PM, silverspecks wrote: This section of the forum invites any and all forms of writing, so that includes stories. I myself am in the middle of writing (and now illustrating) a rather lengthy tribute story to Newgounds. I might be interested in reading your story. I myself have never played skyrim, but I'd give a fanfiction a read if it only required a minimal amount of research.

Congradulations on your first post and welcome to the Newgrounds forums. May your experience here with other the other members be a pleasant and welcoming one.

I totally understand about the research bit. Whilst it is based on Skyrim and ElderScrolls Lore, it's still understandable. If you've played Skyrim you'll find easter eggs that make you smirk and nod in understanding. Otherwise it's a story with things happening so it's still readable. (Hopefully)
Thanks for the welcome!

At 2/19/13 05:00 PM, Sectus wrote: Yes, this is an actual serious writing board. Glad to see another willing participant! Personally, I'd be glad to give your story a look over once you completed it.

Thanks! Would i just post it in forums? Or would i write it and link? I think a link would be preferable but would anyone click it? o_O decisions decisions.
Glad it is serious though, I'm pretty serious about writing it's nice to be around like-minded people. I guess i'll post when ready. :)

Hey,
I'm loving your idea to base your world on Newgrounds. And from reading i can see so much potential and direction that you could take your story, so i definately look forward to reading more.
I think you have a great way of describing what is actually happening. I can paint that picture in my head. Though i think more description as to the enviroment etc would help bring it out even more.
It's cool how you're illustrating your storys also, i've found myself doing the same here and there. ^^ I only hope that what you draw becomes the same as how i imagined it when reading. THEN you know you are doing a great job of description.

Keep it up!

My husband has EXACTLY the same problem. I think personaly the trick is tonotthink about it too much.

For example, when i say the name Caesar, what comes to mind? Powerful? Brash? Strong?
If you look at it the other way, and ask what comes to mind when you think of say, 'calm'. What letters and sounds relate to the personality you're trying to reflect? It's all in there already in your head.How about, Serenity. Rivers, breeze, soft things and beautiful things? What sounds can your mouth make that reflect these qualities?
Another example is say, if i would call a snake Sasha. The 'S' at the begining and again in the middle reflect the hissing of the snake. Sasha is also very slick on the tongue. It would make sense for a snake to be called that. (Just an obvious example)

All in all, if you havn't already, i suggest reading 'The name of the Wind'. Helped me to understand a little, not to mention it's an amazing book, best i've ever read. Hope the tips help.

Because i would like to submit the start of something i'm working on and get some real critique, ya know?
Stumbled across the writing forum i never even knew newgrounds had.

Anyone play... SKYRIM!? Hell yeah ya do!
I'm doing a journal-type fan fic.

So if there are actual writers who wouldn't mind reading a bit and tellin' me what you think, please raise your hand and i'll submit some junk. :)